THE TNA IMPACT WRESTLING REVIEW

Posted January 6th, 2017 by 1Wrestling News Team

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The show opened with a look at Eddie Edwards’ rise to the top in TNA. They also looked at some of Eddie’s toughest battles.

TNA has a new sponsor and are ready to take things to new levels. Josh Mathews and Pope were there to kick things off. Jeremy Borash brought out Eddie Edwards. Eddie wished everyone a Happy New Year. This show was live. Eddie knew he had a target on his back. Eddie had a surprise for everyone in the Wolves Nation.

He was cut off by the arrival of Lashley. Bobby said he was done playing with Eddie. Bobby knew 2017 was going to be “his” year. He wanted to hand out *ss whippings and wanted to start with Eddie. Lashley talked trash about the horrible show in Cameron, NC. I have to agree with him. Bobby demanded his true rematch, tonight.

Ethan Carter III strolled out to make his bid for the title. Ethan said there was a feeling of fight in the air. He insulted both Lashley and Edwards. Everyone wanted to fight Eddie. Lashley said it was his time to get a title shot. Eddie cut him off and said it was his decision. Eddie said they should have a Triple Threat Match for the World title. Hell, Yeah!

Eddie promised that he still had a surprise to share with everyone, later. I’m sensing a return.

Moose vs “Miracle” Mike Bennett
Grand Championship Title Match

Maria came out to introduce her hubby.

Round One went to Bennett.

Moose hit the Game Changer just as the bell sounded for Round Two.

Round Two won by Moose.

The third round had three minutes to go. Moose rushed the corner and hit Go To Hell immediately. 2 count. Moose pulled Mike out to the middle and went for a Moonsault. No water in the pool. Piledriver by Mike. 2 count. Maria just couldn’t believe it. The two slugged it out. Both men were pretty much spent. Mike threw repeated Forearms but took a Big Boot.  Dropkick as Mike sat on the top rope. Mike kicked Moose. Clothesline by Moose and both men were down with 30 seconds to go. The bell sounded . It would be up to the judges (stupid concept, in our opinion).

Round Three and the Winner of the Match: Moose
Match Rating: 2.5 out of a possible 5

Backstage, ‘Swoggle ran into Matt Hardy. Matt wondered if Vince McMahon, Swoggle’s father, sent him to Impact. Swoggle tried to explain that was a story, not the truth.

Rock Star Spud came out and demanded the music be cut. Spud wanted to fight Swoggle.

Rock Star Spud vs Swoggle

Last time, Spud fought a toddler. Now he fights someone just as tall. Jeez. His career is in the toilet. Spud made fun of the “mini”. Spud shoved Swoggle down and drew the boos.  Swoggle hit a Spear and German Suplex and Celtic Cross. 1-2-3!

Your Winner: Swoggle
Match Rating: 1.0

Spud could not accept the loss. He freaked out, mid ring. Spud screamed that he hated all the fans. Spud quit the company! Josh Mathews said it was the best news ever.

Backstage, Mike Bennett was looking for Moose. He told Moose what happened was crap. Mike wanted Moose on the Pay Per View in a NO DQ match. There is a PPV tomorrow? We were both clueless about it.

E-Li Drake used signs to cut a promo. He lost his right to speak, a few weeks back, after losing to Ethan Carter III.

E-Li Drake was in the ring and talking. Fact of Life is back. Drake brought out the Broken Hardys. Reby was playing piano as her hubby and brother-in-law made their entrance. Matt introduced his wife and son. Drake brought up Total Non-Stop Deletion. Drake was impressed that the Hardys survived Apocalypto. Drake said it would have been perfect, if he had been involved. Matt said he had invited everyone. Matt insulted several other teams, including the Young Bucks. Drake needed a personal invitation to fight. Drake suggested that the Hardys were afraid of him. Matt lost his cool and told Drake that he (Matt) was Magic. He felt blasphemy uttered  from Drake’s heathen mouth. Nero laughed at Drake for not understanding them. Drake wanted to fight them at One Night Only against Drake and a partner of his choice (Aron Rex?). Matt accepted the challenge and was prepared to delete. Drake went for a cheap shot and got his butt handed to him.

Eddie Edwards was asked why he would put his title on the line against two of the best. Eddie wanted to kick things off in style. He wanted to prove “Anything Is Possible”. Eddie was asked about hte surprise. Before he could answer, Lashley came in to try and hassle Eddie. It went nowhere.

We got Lowligths of Apocalypto. It was a really lousy show. Sorry, but it is the truth.

The Helms Dynasty (they were resurrected?) vs Decay (guess they didn’t stay dead either)

The Helms Dynasty is made up of Trevor Lee and Andrew Everett. Decay is Crazzy Steve and Abyss (with Rosemary).

The Finish:

Abyss got the Hot Tag and ran over Lee and Everett.  They came back with a Double Whip. Abyss laid them both out with Stereo Clotheslines. Helms tried for a Chokeslam but that wasn’t happening. Rosemary Misted Helms. Abyss caught Everett on the ropes and hit a wicked Chokeslam.

Your Winners: Decay
Match Rating: 2.5

After the match, the lights went out and James Storm and his crew of the D.C.C. hit the ring. Steve and Abyss were laid out with beer bottles. Storm, Bram and Kingston sent a serious message to everyone.

Maria talked with Allie about a match from the past. Allie won the match, that night. Maria said Allie now thinks she is a wrestler. Maria told Allie to Boot Up and come out for a surprise.

The Lady Squad was in the ring. Maria is in charge of the faction. Maria said her and her hubby showed up exactly one year ago to save TNA. Maria had one little gnat to squash first before their mission could be completed. She called out the former Cherry Bomb. Maria made fun of Allie’s popularity. Maria was not impressed by anything from Allie. Maria accused Allie of messing up everything for her. Maria claimed that she owned Allie. Maria said Sienna was ready to fight. Allie snatched the stick from Maria and told her to “Bring it on!”

Allie vs Sienna.

Highlights:

Allie refused to  fall to Sienna. Allie ran Sienna to the corner. Allies beau, Braxton, came out to support his trainee and friend. Braxton kept coaching Allie. It threw Allie off her game. Fallaway Slam by Sienna but it only brought a two count. Reverse Corner Shoulders by Sienna.  Walking side Slam by Sienna. 2 count. Allie almost had this one won until Laurel grabbed Braxton. Sienna hit the Silencer!

Your Winner: Sienna
Match Ranking: 2.0

Ethan Carter III vs Bobby Lashley vs Eddie Edwards
Triple Threat Match for the World Title

Highlights:

Ethan and Eddie kept Bobby out of the match as much as possible. The match bridged a set of commercials. Eddie worked over the arm of the champion. Lashley tried to get back in the ring but got dropped. Arm Bar by EC3. Standing Switches by Eddie and Ethan. Eddie got to the ropes. Double German Suplex by Lashley! Holy Moses. Bobby bashed and battered Ethan before going after the champ. Scoop Slam to Eddie by Bobby. Running Corner Shoulder by Bobby to Ethan.

Bobby hit a wicked Suplex to Eddie. Lashley ripped the turnbuckle pad off.  Rolling Neckbreaker. Bobby ripped off another corner pad. Eddie nailed a Jawbreaker.  Jumping Eniguri by Eddie and Dropkick by Ethan to rock Bobby. Double Suplex on Lashley! Eddie and Ethan threw wild Knife Edge Chops and hen united to drop Bobby. Eddie avoided the 1%er. Eddie unloaded with machine gun Knife Edge Chops. Ethan hit a boot and Dropkick off the ropes. The fans chanted for EC3. Eddie hit a Blue Thunder Bomb to pull a two. Bobby hit he Dominator on Eddie. Bobby didn’t go for the pin. Why?

Ethan caught Bobby with a modified 1%er. Ethan blasted Eddie, in the corner. Ethan set Eddie up top and hit the Knife Edge. Tower of Doom! Everyone was down and stunned. Eddie hit a Missile Lung Blower to Bobby. Ethan with a Half and Half Suplex. Eddie stopped the 1%er to Bobby. TK3 to Lashley. 1-2-Kick Out!

Ethan missed a Corner Splash. Ethan blocked he Chin Checker (Backpack Stunner). Ethan cinched in a Sleeper to Eddie. Spear to both men, driving them into the exposed corner.  Eddie was thrown out of he ring. Bobby stood tall until he decided to go outside and find an opponent.  Spear to EC3! Pope was about to lose his voice. Suicide Dive by Eddie to Bobby. Eddie pitched Bobby into the ring. Spear to Eddie! Eddie rolled out to the floor. Bobby went out and got Eddie. Lashley grabbed the World title belt. Bobby shoved the ref down. DAVEY RICHARDS RUSHED DOWN! During the distraction, Eddie connected with the Boston Knee Party!

Your Winner: Eddie Edwards
Match Rating: 4.25

The Wolves are reunited!

Peace and Love

–Jay and Lottie Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

Category: Wrestling.

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