WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, AT WWE RAW

Posted May 13th, 2015 by jshannon

As this show aired, a very special young man celebrated his birthday…in Korea. My grandson, Timm, turned 20 on Tuesday. Due to the time difference, it was already Tuesday where he is. Smile. Tonight’s column is dedicated to a young military man that his “Grandpa Jay” is beyond proud of. Huge Smile. Love you, Kiddo.

A limo pulled up and out stepped…Triple H! Michael Cole said the atmosphere was about to change.

Roll the opening montage!

Payback is this coming Sunday. I hope to have my new PS3 purchased and set up to watch WWENetwork on.

Triple H returned to the flagship, minus his lovely wife. Daniel Bryan is in the house to make an announcement regarding his health situation. HHH let everyone know “Daddy’s home”. He mentioned that his kids always behave better when he is there. Time for Kane and Seth to be treated like they were his kids. HHH was not happy that Kane and S eth could not follow orders. HHH asked the two men to join him in the ring. Seth came out with Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury. Seth welcomed The Boss back. Seth kissed up to HHH, big time. The fans chanted for Dean Ambrose (who is from Cincinnati). The show was in Cincy, tonight. Seth called Kane a “7 foot Cancer”. The fans gave Seth a hard time, which ticked him off. The fans went back to calling for Ambrose. Seth grumbled about how Kane was sticking it to him in the World Title Match. Seth felt he was in a 3-on-1 Handicap Match. The fans brought up the sing song “Ambrose” chant, yet again. Seth didn’t think Kane was fit to be “Director of Authority”, anymore. Seth felt Kane was broken and should be put down.

Kane then came out to the fire and creepy music. Kane said with age comes wisdom. Kane was ready to Chokeslam Seth straight to Hell. The two argued like an old married couple. HHH had respect for Kane but he needed Kane to be on the same page. He asked Kane to check his ego. HHH knew how much people wanted to punch Seth in the face. HHH warned Kane that if Seth loses the title, on Sunday, Kane would no longer be DoA. Kane was not happy to hear that but it would be so worth it to destroy Seth. Seth got mouthy and HHH ordered him to shut his mouth. HHH demanded an answer from Kane as to whether he could continue to do his part in The Authority. Kane thought it over but did not speak. HHH again asked Kane if he was with them. HHH wanted Kane to battle Roman Reigns, so Kane could feel vested in the situation. HHH put Seth in a battle against…Randy Orton. Jamie Noble got uppity with HHH (never a good idea). Can you see this one coming? Yep, HHH put Jamie and Joey in a Handicap Match against Dean Ambrose…right now. HHH ordered Kane and Seth to follow him to the back. The massacre was set to go, next.

Dean Ambrose vs J and J Security
2-on-1 Handicap Match

Dean got an incredible pop as he came out. Raw took a quick break before all Hell broke loose.

Joey was in the ring to start. Dean rolled out and pulled own Jamie. Dean then flipped Joey in the ring and kicked away. Dean hit a hard Headbutt and Scoop Slam. Whip and La Bandera Clothesline by Dean. Dean then brought Jamie into the combat zone. Jamie begged off from the butt whuppin that he knew was coming. Dean tried for Dirty Deeds but Jamie bailed out. Dean went to the floor and sent Jamie and Joey over the announce table. Jamie pulled Dean off the ropes and hit a Clothesline. Joey punched away. Jamie hit a Hogan-like Leg Drop. Tag to Joey. Mercury stomped away on Dean’s chest. Standing Dropkick by Joey. 2 count. Dean got to his feet and Shoulder Tackled Joey. Dean dropped after they butted heads. Jamie came in and Dean came to life. Dean punched away and then hit a Running Double Thrust. Corner Splash but Joey prevented the Bulldog. Crash and Burn by Dean. Dean almost got the pin but Joey made the save. Rebound Clothesline to both guys. Dirty Deeds to Jamie!

Your Winner: Dean Ambrose
Raw Ranking: 2.5 out of a possible 5

Sheamus came out to watch the next match. At least his hat covered up that silly Mohawk. Sheamus will battle Dolph Ziggler at Payback.

Dolph Ziggler vs ‘King” Barrett

Barrett talked about Dolph’s friend, Neville, trying to conquer the Royal One. Barrett said he would be facing Neville, on Sunday. Barrett said he would turn Dolph into a Royal Arse Kisser. Superkick by Dolph. 1-2-Kick out. Dolph ran King into the corner and punched away. Snap Mare and Heart Stopper Elbow by Dolph. Barrett was sent to the floor with a Dropkick. Raw went to break.

Barrett went for a pin but Dolph kicked out. Rear Chin Lock by the King. Dolph stomped on King’s feet. Dolph dropped Barrett and got a two count. Barrett blocked the Superkick. Dolph escaped Wasteland. Barrett set up the Bull Hammer but Dolph with a huge Dropkick. 1-2-kick out. Barrett charged and hit the post. Sheamus distracted Dolph, which allowed Barrett to nail the Royal Bull Hammer.

Your Winner: “King” Barrett
Raw Ranking: 2.25

Sheamus got in the ring and kicked away at Dolph. Dolph was unable to really fight back. Sheamus slapped Dolph around and screamed that Dolph wasn’t fit to clean his shoes. Dolph jumped on Sheamus but the Irishman pushed Dolph back and connected with the Brogue Kick.

Erick Rowan (w/Luke Harper) vs Fandango

Fandango jumped Eric before the bell. Fandango hit a Clothesline to the back of Erick’s had. Spin Kick o’ Doom by Erick. Rowan with the Full Nelson Uranage.

Your Winner: Erick Rowan
Raw Ranking: 1.0

Harper got in the ring and got his shots in on the Dancing Dude. That match took all of 37 seconds!

Raw looked back at Sami Zayn’s challenge for John Cena’s US title, last week. Bret Hart introduced him. Sami took a nasty bump but still came darn close to winning the title after nailing the Blue Thunder Bomb. John hit the AA after the Springboard Stunner to keep the gold.

John Cena Open Challenge for the US Title

John talked about John Cena fans being in the house. John knew some of the fans didn’t like him. John pushed the importance of the US title. John said the US title has given him new purpose. John wanted the Underdogs to get a shot so the US title was open to everyone. John said Rusev would not have a chance of taking the title from him. John swore he would not give up. John was advised to cancel this week’s Open Challenge but he didn’t like the idea. He asked the crowd what they thought. The crowd really wanted to see someone challenge John.

John Cena vs Neville
US Title Match

Oh, Hell Yeah! The bell rang and the two went to the corner. Collar and Elbow and John grabbed Neville’s arm. Neville flipped around to reverse the move. Bridging Suplex into an Arm Bar by the challenger. John realized that this kid was not to be taken lightly. John popped Neville in the face and then hit a Back Elbow off a Whip. Side Headlock by the US Champ. Neville slid under John and hit the one-legged Leg Lariat. John went to the floor and Raw went to commercial.

Cena went Vintage on Neville. Neville with a Bridging German for a two. Neville dropped John and then then hit an amazing Springboard Corkscrew Plancha to the floor. Dang. Neville got John back in the ring and pulled another two count. John rushed Neville but Neville flipped over. Protobomb by the champ. Five Knuckle Shuffle by John. Neville blocked the AA. Neville kicked John in the face. Neville set for the Red Arrow off the middle ropes. Could be…might be…Denied. John punched away at Neville. Neville came back with a Spin Kick to put John to his knees. Michinoku Driver by Cena to earn a 2 count. Neville turned the AA into the Backslide Crucifix. Neville did Somersaults all the way cross the ring. Back Elbow by Neville. Neville hit a Crossbody but John rolled through it. Cena went for the AA but Neville landed on his feet and surprised John with the Superkick. 1-2-no.

Neville tried to set John for another Red Arrow but John converted the movement into the STF. Neville refused to submit. Neville rolled over to almost pin the champ. Inside Out Clothesline by John. Joh missed a Corner Rush and took an Enziguri.. AA, out of nowhere, by Cena. He only drew a two.

Both men were dazed. John lifted Neville for a Super AA. Neville shifted around and went for the Sunset Flip. He turned it into a Walking Powerbomb. 1-2-Kick Out! Neville was ready for the Red Arrow. He hit it but Rusev rushed in and attacked Neville.

Your Winner: Match Thrown Out
Raw Ranking: 3.0 (up until Rusev’s screwed the finish)

Rusev put John in the Accolade and refused to let go. The fans screamed for Lana. The Russian flag was lowered from the rafters.

Kane vs Roman Reigns

Kane jumped Roman as he came over the barricade. Kane drove Roman’s back into the ring post. Kane bounced Roman’s head off the ring steps. Roman hit an Uppercut and then came back out to the floor. The two men ran each other into the barricade and ring apron, numerous times. Kane was definitely in control. Kane dismantled the announce table. Roman tried to fight back with hard right hands. Kane reversed a Whip but Reigns jumped the steps. Roman wanted the Superman Punch but had to get free of the Goozle first. Roman Speared Kane over the announce table. Kane was not moving.

Your Winner: Match Never Started
Raw Ranking: 1.75

Raw’s Slam of the Week was Tamina and Naomi’s attack on the Bellas. Naomi now claims that she and Tamina are family. In an extended way, she is correct.

Brie Bella vs Tamina (Snuka)

Naomi and Tamina did an insert video about how “The Family” was going to take care of the Bellas. The two women hooked up and went to the corner. Brie bashed at Tamina’s head but the Island Girl kept pushing Brie away. Back Elbow by Brie. Backbreaker by Tamina. Tamina worked over the neck and back of Brie. Rear Chin Lock on Brie. Tamina hit a Close Quarters Clothesline. 2 count. Brie went for a Roll Up but didn’t ge the pin. Clothesline by Snuka. 2 count. Brie flipped out of a Back Drop Suplex and hit a Dropkick, partially. Tamina threw Brie into the corner. Missile Dropkick by Brie to get a two. Drop Toe Hold sent Tamina into the ropes. Knee Trembler by Brie aka Brie Mode. Tamina blocked the 2nd Knee Trembler and knocked out Brie with a Superkick!

Your Winner: Tamina (Snuka)
Raw Ranking: 2.0

Curtis Axel vs Damien “Macho Mandow” Sandow

They had a face off during the pre-show. This was just beyond silly. Mizdow wasn’t bad enough, now he has to try and be the NEW Randy Savage? Jeez. Axel did his Hulk Hogan thing as Damien pretended to be Savage. Clotheslines and a Scoop Slam by Damien. As Mandow headed up the ropes, The Ascension came out. They cut a promo about the Fake Mega-Powers. The rant actually allowed the Ascension to make fun of themselves. Viktor and Connor hit the ring and got sent flying by Mega Powers 2.0. Sandow had Axel hit the Leg Drop o’ Doom on Viktor. Damien went for the Savage Elbow but The Ascension backed out of the ring and away from ringside. The old Savage music hit.

Your Winner: Match Cancelled
Raw Ranking: N/A

Damien and Curtis did the Mega Hand Shake. Yep, Mega Powers 2.0 Lives! The fans loved this schtick.

We saw more Tough Enough try-out videos.

Daniel Bryan came out to discuss his future. Daniel admitted that he would be out for weeks or even months. He couldn’t stand the idea of having the prestigious Intercontinental Title being sidelined. He then forfeited the title.

Big E vs Cesaro

E with wild Knee Strikes. Universal but Cesaro caught E on the Leap Frog and Slammed him. Cesaro flipped ontot he apron and got the boot up. Crossbody from the top turnbuckle. Cesarot hen stomped away to the “New Day Sucks” rhythm. Big E bailed out to the floor. Raw went to break.

Big E had Cesaro in an Abdominal Stretch as the show returned. New Day will face Cesaro and Kidd in a 2-out-of-3 Falls Match at Payback. Cesaro with a n amazing Gut Wrench Throw. Cesaro boxed way but fell to the Belly to Belly. Big Splash, by E, missed. Uranage Slam by Big E but Cesaro was able to escape the pin at two plus. Cesaro with a UEuropean Uppercut and Twisting Clothesline off the ropes. Huge Germans by Cesaro. Cesaro with an incredible Belly to Belly Dead Lift Suplex. Running European Uppercuts by Cesaro. The Swiss Superman wanted the Swing but the others got involve don the floor. Cesaro with an Octopus Roll Up to pin Big E.

Your Winner: Cesaro
Raw Ranking: 2.5

A special WWENetwork-only event is coming on May 31st. Elimination Chamber Returns!

The Prime Time Players had fun doing a take-off on the New Age Outlaws of DX.

Bray Wyatt came out and did one of his typical obscure rants about global crumbling and such. It was all about fear and Ryback. Bray mocked Ryback for his story about almost destroying his ankle. Bray laughed at Ryback’s suffering. Ryback got fed up listening to Bray’s ramblings and came out to deal with the New Face of Fear. The fight was on. Ryback planted Bray with the Spinebuster. Meat Hook Clothesline! Bray hit the floor and smiled at Big Hungry.

Seth Rollins vs Randy Orton
Non-Title Match

Seth rolled around Randy and got a Hammerlock. Randy reversed it into a Side Headlock Takeover. Seth took a Headlock but Randy pushed off. Shoulder Tackle by Seth. Universal into a Back Elbow from Randy. Seth kicked Randy off a Whip and punched away. Randy threw Seth down and then Hammer Threw him into the corner. European Uppercut by Randy. Orton Stomp by Randy. Flying Knee, by Randy, missed. Twisted Sister Backbreaker by Randy. Clutch Uranage into the corner by Seth. Randy was tossed out to the floor and Raw went to break.

Seth controlled Randy as Raw came back for he final segment. Randy got to his feet to lessen the pressure of the Rear Chin Lock. Flying Forearm by Seth. He Whipped Randy to the corner. Randy flipped Seth over the ropes. Seth climbed the ropes but Randy tripped him. Randy paid tribute to his daddy by hitting an Orton Superplex. Randy connected with a Headbutt but Seth punched away. The two went back and forth with hard shots. Randy got the advantage but a Knee stopped Randy cold. Clotheslines by Randy. Seth held the ropes to avoid the Snap Powerslam. Seth flew off eh ropes and got planted with the Snap Powerslam that Randy had wanted a few moments earlier.

Seth fought to avoid the Rope Assisted D DT. Seth snapped Randy’s neck off the ropes and then hit a Springboard Knee Strike. 1-2-not yet. Randy prevented a Buckle Bomb and then hit an Exploder Suplex. Seth had blocked a 2nd Twisted Sister. Seth avoided the R.A.D. and hit an Enziguri. Suicide Dive by Seth. The two men got back in the ring and Seth stalked his foe. Seth missed a Corner Splash but still avoided the RKO. Superkick brought a near fall for Seth. Randy hit the Rope-Assisted DDT, finally. Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury hit the ring and attacked.

Your Winner (by Disqualification): Randy Orton
Raw Ranking: 2.75

Randy took out Jamie and Joey. Seth then dropped Randy and pounded away. Kane came out, ready for battle. He stood at ringside and didn’t do a thing. Roman Reigns and then Dean Ambrose joined the party. Seth was annihilated by Dirty Deeds (Ambrose), Spear (Reigns) and. an RKO (Orton). Kane just sat back and watched. Roman then Speared Orton. Dean nailed Dirty Deeds on Roman. The crowd completely lost it as Raw called it a night.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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