WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE RAW

Posted September 11th, 2013 by jshannon

Welcome to Toronto, Ontario. Tonight was filled with several returns and a most unusual co-main event match featuring one of the most bizarre characters in the history of pro wrestling.

Edge’s music ripped through the arena and the hometown crowd lost their collective minds. Edge really looked great. The 11-time World Champ grabbed the stick and addressed his friends, fans and family. Part of his reason for being there was to push his return on “Haven” on the SYFY Network (Friday). Edge was there to present “The Cutting Edge”. Edge said HHH requested that he appear at tonight’s Raw. He dropped the “Good for Business” catchline that is quickly turning into the latest college drinking game. Smile. Edge said HHH wanted Edge to reunite with his Rated RKO partner, Randy Orton. Edge said listening to Randy talk was as interesting as watching paint dry. Edge called Randy “HHH’s Lackey” and “Hand Picked Puppet”. Edge refused to have Randy as his guest on “The Cutting Edge”. Edge said he wanted to interview…Daniel Bryan.

Daniel got the crowd rocking as he hopped down to the ring. Raw showed Big Show knocking out Daniel Bryan, per orders from Triple H. They have turned Big Show into a big whiny baby. I hate that. “Daniel Bryan” rang out as the live feed returned. Edge knew that Daniel has gone through a lot, recently. Daniel agreed that he had but the chanting fans have really helped him through all of it. Daniel reminded the fans that HHH swore Daniel would get hurt, if he didn’t give up his title shot. Daniel was certain that he would be able to beat Randy Orton and take back the WWE Title. Edge admired Daniel for looking at obstacles as opportunities. Edge didn’t know if Daniel could beat Randy but Daniel deserved a fair shot at the title. Edge then asked Daniel if he felt he could beat Orton and become the champion and the face of the WWE? Daniel answered Yes.

Randy Orton suddenly came from the back. Randy took a shot at Canada as the only place that gives a crap about Edge. Randy talked about Edge’s body failing him at a young age. “Randy Sucks!” rose from the crowd. Edge said “I may have problems with my spine…but at least I have one.”. Nice. Edge said HHH sucked at seeing and picking talent…

Triple H took exception to Edge’s comments and joined the discussion group. (What ever happened to opening a show with a wrestling match?) Edge said he wasn’t an employee of WWE so he didn’t have to bite his tongue. Edge reminded HHH that he never thought Edge, Chris Jericho, John Cena and others could never make it. Edge told HHH to look past the end of his rather enormous nose. Grab a beer, HHH dropped “The Line”. HHH brought up the show Haven and got a plug in for Smackdown, as well. HHH admitted he did get a few wrong in picking talent, in the past. HHH said Time will Tell if Daniel Bryan will be able to make it as a talent. HHH said he did get it right when he picked Edge to be a loser. HHH said “The Rated R Superstar” scenario was an absolute failure that never drew a dime. (Really?) HHH wanted to let Daniel Bryan prove him wrong. HHH put Daniel in the ring against Dean Ambrose, later in the night. HHH felt Daniel deserved someone in his corner. He assigned Big Show to watch Daniel’s back, not Edge. HHH said he was not a dictator, despite what everyone thinks. Edge mocked HHH by saying “I didn’t have to marry into success” and “You’ve not a dictator, just a ****”. HHH said he couldn’t hurt Edge but he could hurt the ones that Edge loves. He had The Shield drag out a beaten up Christian. Edge demanded help for his long time friend and “brother”. Raw went to break.

They ran a promo for Night of Champions.

Edge burst into the office and said he wanted to come after HHH. HHH knew the doctors would never clear Edge to compete. HHH went off on Edge for coming into “His town” and “His Show” and raising Hell. HHH ordered Edge to leave or he would have The Shield escort him off the property.

Kofi Kingston vs Curtis Axel
Non-Title Match

Paul Heyman was at the side of “Beyond Perfection” Curtis Axel. The announcers talked about the upcoming match pitting C.M. Punk against both Axel and Heyman, at Night of Champions.

The two locked up and Axel blasted Kofi’s back, over and over. Dropkick by Axel but only a one count. Kofi flipped out of a Back Drop Suplex and hit a Discus Clothesline and sharp Dropkick. Kick by Axel into a Whip. Double Boots by Kofi into the SOS. Axel grabbed the bottom rope. The two went inside and then back in. Axel with a hard boot. Stomps by Axel. Axel drove his knee into Kofi’s back, over and over. When he refused to stop, the ref called for the bell.

Your Winner (by Disqualification): Kofi Kingston
Raw Ranking: 2.0 out of a possible 5

Paul Heyman freaked out at the concept that if Axel did that, on Sunday, Paul would have to face Punk. Kofi recovered and laid out Axel with Trouble in Paradise.

The announcers then talked about he “Reign of Terror” of HHH and the McMahons. They brought up the firing of Cody Rhodes. Dustin Rhodes, as Goldust, will be in the ring, later on. He will be fighting Randy Orton. If Goldy wins, Cody will get his job back. They sent it to a video package about Goldust. I do think it is about time that Dustin “Goldust” Rhodes/Runnels gets his deserved spot in the WWE Hall of Fame.

Paul Heyman was down, in the hallway. He supposedly slipped in a puddle of water. Axel helped the badly limping Heyman to the trainer’s table. Heyman refsed to be seen by the WWE docs, as he had his own with him. I smell a rat. They iced down Paul’s knee. Axel wanted to know who put the water in the hallway. Jerry Lawler joked that maybe Heyman wet himself, which caused the puddle.

Michael Cole sent it back to last week, where Daniel Bryan had to face the Big Show. Big Show didn’t want to fight but the McMahons threatened to revoke Show’s so-called “Iron Clad Contract” if he didn’t perform. Show wanted to know out HHH but Stephanie played on his emotions to prevent it.

In the locker room, Booker T came up to talk with Show. Show admitted that he wanted to take his frustration out of someone. Booker told Show to ignore what the fans are saying about him. Booker told Big Show not to be so quick to be a hero. He advised Show to think about his family, first. Booker warned Big Show not to let his pride screw up everything. Show looked at Booker and said Pride was about all he had left.

A promo for Bray Wyatt and the Wyatt Family aired. The bizarre trio would be up next.

Bray Wyatt vs Dolph Ziggler

Bray was flanked by his two “followers”. Bray and the Wyatts still have one of the best entrance themes of all time. JBL talked about how huge the other two Wyatts were.

Dolph ducked the charging Wyatt but Bray with a hard kick. Scoop Slam on a running Dolph. Bray did the Upside Down hang in the corner. Dropkick by Dolph. Flying Crossbody by Bray after Dolph laid out Harper. Raw took an unannounced break.

Bray with a Rear Chin Lock but Dolph started to fight back. Back Elbow laid out Dolph. Falling Headbutt by Bray into a Neck Pull. Jawbreaker by Dolph. Stinger Splash by Dolph into Corner Mount Punches. Rolling Neckbreaker by Ziggler into the Jumping Elbow Drop. Bray reversed a Whip but fell to the Famouser. 1-2 no. Dolph tried to fight off Luke and Rowan but Bray with a Corner Splash. Bray dragged Dolph into the middle of the ring and took out Dolph with “Sister Abigail”.

Your Winner: Bray Wyatt
Raw Ranking: 2.5

The announcers sent it to a series of comic vignettes by Goldust.

Heyman limped out on crutches. Curtis Axel and some other guy were with him. Heyman couldn’t even sell the “injury” worth a darn. Heyman tried to weasel his way out of the match, on Sunday, by claiming that he had severely injured his leg. This was after he trash talked about Canada’s medical services. Paul said he had his own doctor with him. “He’s a fake” rang out. Not sure if they meant Paul E or his doc…or both. Paul played up the injury so he could pull out of the match, on Sunday.

Brad Maddox came out and said that Paul would have to be evaluated by the WWE’s resident doctor, Dr. Sampson. He’s the great man that helped save the life of Jerry Lawler, when Lawler had his heart attack, several months back. Brad said if Dr. Sampson did do an evaluation and said the injury was legit, then Paul could get out of the match. Paul didn’t like this but he didn’t have much choice. Sampson did the exam and felt that the injury wasn’t anything that should cause him to be unable to perform. “This is Awkward” was the chant. Sampson threw out a few big words that basically meant there was no swelling or ligament tightness or looseness…

C.M. Punk rushed out with the kendo stick. Punk blasted “Paul’s Doc” and Curtis Axel as Paul took off running. Punk tried to chase after him but Walruses can apparently run as fast as gazelles. Punk then came back and talked with Paul’s “Doc”. Punk tore into the doctor with the kendo stick. The announcers laughed as Punk beat on the doctor. JBL urged Punk to keep hitting the doc.

Brie Bella, Natalya and Naomi vs Aksana, Layla and Alicia Fox
Six Diva Tag Team Match

A.J. Lee skipped down to ringside and joined the announce team for this one. Naomi and Aksana opened the contest. Naomi blocked a kick and hit an Inverted Atomic Drop. Rear View by Naomi for a two. Lee blathered on about her championship. Aksana tripped Naomi who had jumped to the top rope. Layla tagged in and put Naomi in a reverse Tarantula. Lee mentioned having the date of her title win tattooed on the back of the neck. Layla with an Ankle Twist as Lee pushed the envelope with her language.

Tag to Fox and nattie. Suplex by Nattie into a Kip Up. Nattie took down everyone in sight. Nattie sent Fox to the corner but Nattie with the Spinning Scoop Slam. Aksana rushed in and accidentally landed on Fox. Nattie threw Aksana out and put Fox in the Sharpshooter!

Your Winners: Brie Bella, Naomi and Natalya
Raw Ranking: .5 (not everyone got to “play”)

It was time for another look at Goldust’s career. This time it showcased how good he was, in action.

R-Truth vs Alberto Del Rio
Non-Title Match

The crowd was so dead for Truth’s rap thing. RVD, in an insert video, said he was taking the World title at Night of Champions. Collar and Elbow and the two went around the ropes. Side Headlock by ADR. Shoulder Tackle on Truth. Truth with a sharp punch and Forearm. The ref moved Truth back. ADR with punches and kicks. La Bandera Clothesline to send ADR to the outside. Te crowd chanted for “JBL”. He acknowledged it, calling the fans “smart”. Truth with a Tope Con Hilo to lay out Del Rio, on the floor. Step Up Enziguri, on the apron, by ADR. Del Rio went out and rammed Truth’s face into the apron, repeatedly.

Back in the ring, ADR slapped on a Rear Chin Lock. Truth got to his feet and punched free. Sunset Flip, by Truth, for two. ADR with a hard Clothesline. Del Rio flexed his pecs and then went for a pin. Truth had to fight out of another Rear Chin Lock. Flying Leg Lariat and Clotheslines by Truth. 2 count. The fans suddenly began to chant for the Undertaker. Del Rio blasted Truth and then waited. Super Kick to Truth’s face. Cross Armbreaker and Truth had to tap out.

Your Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Raw Ranking: 3.5

It was announced that there would be a five team “Tag Team Turmoil” match to kick off Night of Champions. The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger), Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay and Tensai), The Usos, The Prime Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young) and 3MB (2 members from Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre and Jindar Mahal) would battle it out. The winner of that match would get to face Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins for the tag belts, later in the night.

Antonio Cesaro and Zeb Colter were in the ring. Jack Swagger wasn’t in the building. Zeb ripped into Canada for being filled with Canadians. Whatever.

Antonio Cesaro vs Santino Marella

He’s Back! We haven’t seen him in months. The crowd exploded for Santino. He Power Walked his way down and around the ring. Cesaro with a Running Dropkick, right at the bell. Antonio clubbed Santino and nailed the European Uppercut. Gut Wrench Throw by Antonio. Santino has just opened his own training facility for wrestling and martial arts. Giant Swint by Antonio. That thing went on FOREVER! Made me dizzy, as Hell, just to watch it. I swear that they spun around for close to a full minute. “Holy ****” rang out. Santino was dazed and confused. Antonio kneed Santino and punched away. Santino with the Splitz and Hip Toss. Diving Headbutt by Santino. Santino retrieved The Cobra but Antonio kicked the Cobra hand and hit another European Uppercut. Antonio pulled off the Cobra sock and hit an Amateur Throw for two. Another European Uppercut by Antonio. Hip Toss Throw by Santino for the surprise Roll Up and pin!

Your Winner: Santino Marella
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Damien Sandow was in the ring, rambling on. Sandow bragged about being “The Uncrowned World Champion”. He was cut off, thankfully, by the arrival of The Miz.

Damien Sandow vs The Miz

Go Behind by Damien but Standing Switch by Miz. Side Headlock by Damien. Running Back Elbow by Miz into a Suplex. Damien with a kick and Shoulder Thrusts and headbutts. Miz reversed a Whip and hit the Full Body Clothesline. 2 count. Miz drove his knee into Damien’s back, several times. Miz missed a big kick. Damien threw Miz into the middle rope and then punched away. Damien threw his weight onto Miz, driving the neck into the rope. Knee Strikes into the Side Russian Leg Sweep. Elbow of Distain to Miz’s heart. 2 count. Side Headlock by Damien. Miz fought out and threw Damien over. Back Elbow by Miz. Flying Forearm and kick by Miz. Running Kneelift nad Big Boot by Miz. Miz kicked Damien’s leg and then Dropkicked it, in the ropes.

Suddenly, Fandango came out with Summer Rae. The distraction allowed Damien to roll up Miz for the win.

Your Winner: Damien Sandow
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Renee talked with Goldust. She asked him if he was mentally prepared for the match. Goldust admitted that he has always been the “Family Screw Up”. Goldust said HHH embarrassed the Rhodes family name by throwing his weight around. HHH came in and tried to intimidate Goldy. HHH threw extra pressure on Goldy by talking about how much Cody was depending on Goldust winning. Wow, that was a crappy thing to do.

Randy Orton vs Goldust
Career Saver Match

If Goldy wins, Cody Rhodes gets his job back. Goldust got a fantastic pop when his music went off. Goldy looked dead serious as he walked down to the ring. Randy looked a touch out of his element. Goldy with a series of Haymakers. Goldust took a few shots but continued to fight back with wild punches nad kicks. Goldy ran Randy’s shoulder into the corner. Orton with a kick and European Uppercut. Goldy reversed a Whip and dropped Randy with a Back Elbow. Randy went to the floor.

“You still got it!” rang out. Randy got back in the ring and they circled each other. Kick and Headbutt by Randy. Another European Uppercut to pull a two. Randy ran the laces over Goldy’s face. Goldy held the ropes to avoid a Dropkick and then went for the Jackknife pin. 2 count. Knife Edge Chops by Goldy. Corner Mount Punches by Orton. Randy choked Goldy with the knee. La Magistral Cradle to bring Goldy a two count. Goldust wanted Shattered Dreams but Randy bailed out of the ring. Break time.

Randy had Goldy in a Side Headlock as Raw continued. Goldy fought out but Randy took him to the corner. Double Boots by Goldy. They ended up on the floor and Randy tried to send Randy into the ring steps. Goldy blocked it and sent The Viper into the steel. Goldy raked the back. Goldy threw Randy back in the ring. Randy snapped Goldy’s neck off the top rope and then threw Goldy into the ring post. Randy Back Dropped Goldust onto the ring barrier. Randy sent Goldy into the steps and then put Goldy back into the ring. 2 count. Orton Stomp. 2 count, yet again. Rear Chin Lock by Randy. Goldy fought back and opened up on the WWE Champ. Knee Strike by Randy stopped Goldy cold. Flying Bulldog by Goldust to stun Randy. Goldust ducked a Clothesline but hit several of his own. Goldustin Uppercut! Corner Mount Punches by The Bizarre One. School Boy by Goldust for two. Randy with the Rope Assisted DDT. Randy mocked Daniel Bryan with the Double Arm Thrusts. Randy slipped into his “Special Place”. Goldust surprised Randy with the CrossRhodes! 1-2-no. Randy with a School Boy and then he finished off Goldust with the RKO>

Your Winner: Randy Orton
Raw Ranking: 3.5

Randy stood over Goldust and taunted him. He told Goldy that his (Goldust’s) dream of getting his baby brother reinstalled had just been shattered. ON Sunday, Randy said the same would happen to Daniel Bryan’s dream.

Un otro video de Los Matadores. Oops, sorry. Yet another Los Matadores video aired. They are really pushing the “Bull of Legend” returning. I can just see them trotting out a 3 ton steer.

In the hallway, Stephanie McMahon ran into Goldust. She rubbed salt in the wounds as she told Dustin that he was his fault that Cody didn’t get his job back. What a serious b*tch. Stephanie wanted to know how it felt to let his whole family and the WWE Universe down. She told him to leave and to tell his dad hi for her.

Ricardo Rodriguez came out and introduced Rob Van Dam. On Smackdown, Alberto Del Rio attacked Ricardo Rodriguez. That allowed Randy Orton to lay out RVD with the RKO.

Rob Van Dam vs Ryback

Alberto Del Rio came out to watch the match. He called RVD “ a washed up loser”.

RVD opened with hard kicks that sent Rybac to his butt. Back Elbow and a Springboard Thrust Kick by RVD. Ryback blocked the Monkey Flip and threw RVD down, hard. Ryback punched away on RVD. Ryback slammed RVD’s head into the canvas, over and over. Abdominal Stretch by Ryback. Kneelift by Ryback but RVD with a High Kick. Wheel Through Kick into the Rolling Thunder. High Sault Senton by RVD. Ryback bailed out to avoid the Five Star Frog Splash. RVD went to the outside but ended up crashing into the barricade. Ryback ran RVD’s crotch, twice, into the ring post. The ref called for the bell.

Your Winner (by Disqualification): RVD
Raw Ranking: 2.0

After the match, Ryback nailed the Shell Shocked. Ryback yelled back at the crowd “Goldberg who?”

Stephanie told Big Show that he was not allowed to lay a hand on any member of The Shield. If he does, he will be terminated. Big Show destroyed a television monitor in frustration.

Dean Ambrose (w/Rollins and reigns) vs Daniel Bryan (w/Big Show)
Non-Title Match

Daniel exploded on Dean with punches and kicks. Dean put Daniel into the corner and punched away. Knife Edge Chop by Dean but Daniel came back with wild kicks. Dean slid out of the ring. Rollins and Reigns came around to talk with their partner. The ref started to count. Dean with measured punches and a Kitchen Sink to the US Champ. Yakuza Kick to Dean’s back, multiple times. Daniel got shoulder Tackled by Dean but then Daniel came back with a Drop Toe Hold. Daniel with an over the shoulder Arm Breaker. Daniel twisted Dean into an odd pinning position. Flying Surfboard by Daniel. Daniel had a hard time keeping Dean elevated. Dean with a kick and Shoulder Thrusts. Daniel ran the ropes nad hit the Flying Clothesline. Wild Snap Suplex by Daniel. Daniel went up top but stepped down as Roman go ton the apron. Dean shoved Daniel off the apron and into the barrier. Raw took a break.

Dean was in control as the show returned. Dean with straight punches and a Hammer Throw. Big Show cheered for Daniel. Dean with a second Hammer Throw. Show got up and started to cheer for Daniel. Dean charged on a Whip and ended up running into the ring post. Running Corner Dropkicks to rock Dean to his core. Wicked kicks to Dean’s ribs into a Top Rope Hurancanrana. 2 count. Dean with repeated kicks. Dean tried to put Dean into a Boston Crab but Daniel reversed it. Yes Lock! Dean barely reached the ropes to force the break. More kick s by Daniel. Dean with a Roll UP for two. Top Mount Punches by Dean. Dean put Daniel on the top rope and then climbed. Daniel slid under and pushed Dean down. Sullivan Tree of Woe into several hard kicks and a Hesitation Dropkick. Daniel followed it up with a Back Drop Superplex! 2 count. How the heck Dean kicked out, I will never know. “This is Awesome!” broke out. Daniel with repeated Crescent Kicks. Daniel charged and went to the floor. Roman tried to Spear Daniel but ended up striking the ring steps. Seth flew into the announce table. Dean then hit a Clothesline to the back of Daniel’s head. Floor DDT. Dean rolled Daniel in but couldn’t get the three count. Daniel with a Small Package, out of nowhere, to pin Dean Ambrose.

Your Winner: Daniel Bryan
Raw Ranking: 4.0

Randy Orton came out to confront Daniel. Daniel with a Tope Suicida to lay out The Viper. The Shield jumped Daniel. It was a 4-on-1 mugging. Big Show finally got up and brought a chair around to even the score. Randy Orton took Daniel back into the ring. RKO! Big Show just walked away as Randy brandished his title high. HHH came out and told Big Show to be a professional. He ordered Show to get back to the ring and knock out Daniel Bryan. Show started to refuse but complied with getting in the ring. Show backed off from punching Daniel. Randy read Show the riot act and told him to do as he was ordered. Randy picked up Daniel and considered punching him. Show refused to follow Randy’s demand. Randy threw Daniel down. Randy went over and screamed at Big Show. Show told Randy to leave him alone. Randy re-ordered Big Show to knock ot Randy. Before Show could do anything, Daniel hit the Flying Knee to take down Orton.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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