Posted February 12th, 2013 by jshannon

Elimination Chamber is just around the corner. A few more pieces of the puzzle were placed. Plus, the Deadman was in Nashville. Would he show up on Raw? Is he next for the Hall of Fame? Wait and see…

After a fun afternoon of working with my horse, Lacey, I’m ready to sit down and watch some great action.

The Shield will be in the ring to answer to the fans. Ryback, Sheamus and John Cena will face Dean, Seth and Roman at E-Chamber. Also, The Rock was in the house.

Paul Heyman stood in mid-ring and got booed out of his boots. Paul introduced himself to the Nashville crowd. Paul said this was going to be Paul’s last appearance on Raw. (Huge Cheers!) Paul said he was a passionate person and those passions have betrayed him, over and over. Paul brought up ECW. That got a good round of cheers. Paul bragged about how he molded Brock Lesnar into a superstar. Paul then praised C.M. Punk. Paul said bad things were going to happen to Punk. Paul resigned to help Punk avoid the vengeance of the McMahons. Paul then exploded on the WWE Universe because of where they have driven Paul E. Paul restated that he did not want to stand in Punk’s way. Paul said “Goodbye”. This is such a work.

Enter C.M. Punk. Punk acted all confused about Paul’s decision. The two talked without the microphone. Punk then got a mike and asked Paul what he was doing. “I’m in your way.” was Paul’s answer. Paul explained that Vince thought Paul was behind all the shenanigans, as of late. Punk told Paul that he was much too important to just leave. A few people actually cheered for Paul. “Perception is reality” was Paul’s advice about how McMahon-World works. Paul didn’t want to be a martyr, he just wanted to be Punk’s friend. Paul begged to be released but Punk said he needed Paul. Punk said the nightmare would return to normal, as of Sunday. Punk said he wanted Paul in the corner when he took back his stolen title, at E-Chamber. Paul then agreed with Punk. Paul changed his mind and said he would be in Punk’s corner when he returned himself to the status of champion. Punk and Paul hugged. Whatever.”E.C.Dub” rang out as Paul told Punk that he was “The Best in the World”. Jerry Lawler accused Paul of trying to upstage The Pope.

Speaking of which, I want to mention Pope Benedict XVI. I realize he will never read this and I am not Catholic, but I do want everyone who does read this to know that I highly respect the man and his decision to turn over the church to a younger and healthier man. I know that decision had to be tough but he showed how his love for the people was strong enough to be able to step aside and enjoy a restful retirement. God Bless.

Great Khali, Natalya and Hornswoggle danced in the ring. It all stopped when Mark Henry walked from the back. Khali actually looked extremely nervous.

Great Khali vs Mark Henry

So, I guess Sin Cara returned just in time to go out to another injury (due to Mark Henry). Rey Mysterio was also injured and is out of the E-Chamber. Khali chopped away at Mark. Open Hand Slap and kicks to the knee. Headbutt by Khali. Mark threw Khali into the corner and punched away. Back Elbow by Khali and a Big Boot. Mark missed a Corner Splash. Open Hand Slaps by Khali. Mark fought back with all kinds of brutality. Clothesline took down Khali. That was sloppy as Hell. World’s Strongest Slam after walking around holding Khali! Wow!

Your Winner: Mark Henry
Grade: C (74%)

Mark went back into the ring and stalked Hornswoggle. He grabbged the little man and hit a World’s Strongest Slam on the diminutive sidekick. Mark Henry will face Randy Orton on Friday.

Booker T and Teddy Long talked backstage. They were interrupted by Chris Jericho. Jericho reminded them that he was a six-time World Champ and has been in more E-Chambers than anyone. He asked to be put into the match. Teddy thought it was a great idea. Booker told Chris that he would have to impress him and the WWE Universe. Teddy had an idea but Booker thought it sucked. Booker said if Chris Jericho could beat Daniel Bryan, he’d get a spot in the E-Chamber. Jericho did a silly imitation of Booker T.

Elsewhere, Vickie Guerrero was on her phone. Someone was banging on the door. It was Paul Heyman. Paul told Vickie to make time for him. Paul wanted a stipulation added to the title match, on Sunday. A call came in and it was Vince McMahon. Paul demanded the phone from Vickie. She put him on Speakerphone. Paul apologized for Lesnar’s actions. Paul knew Vince was working hard in rehab. Vince told him to shut up and describe the stipulation. Paul wanted it fixed that if Rock gets DQ’d or counted out, Punk gets the title back. Paul said he would do anything to get the stipulation. Vince agreed, only if Paul put in writing his williness to do anything. Paul tried to suck up but the line went dead.

Another promo for Fandango ran. I swear that looks like Brad Maddox’s twin brother.

Daniel Bryan vs Chris Jericho
E-Chamber Qualifying Match

Daniel Bryan is already in the match. If Jericho wins, he gets a spot inside the chamber, on Sunday. The two locked up and Chris with a pair of quick pin attempts. Two Arm Drags into an Arm Bar. Back Elbows by Chris. Universal into a Kitchen Sink by Daniel. Kicks by Daniel. Snap Mare and Kneedrop by Daniel Daniel snapped the arm of Chris, over and over. Chris punched and clubbed Daniel. Daniel reversed a Whip. Daniel dumped Jericho out to the floor.

Daniel went out and threw Chris back in. Shoulder by Jericho but he missed the Springboard Dropkick. Suicide Dive by Daniel. Chris clutched his knee in agony. Raw took a break.

Float Over by Daniel into a Roll Up. 2 count. Clothesline by Jericho. Boot by Daniel into a Running Dropkick, to the corner. Jericho reversed a whip but Daniel ran the ropes. Daniel threw Jericho over the ropes. Chris missed an Ax Bomber but Daniel connected with a Clothesline. The crowd revved up Daniel. Chris blocked a Dropkick. Daniel blocked the Walls of Jericho and then got the knees up to stop the Lionsault. Daniel went to the top but got caugbht. Chop by Jericho. Daniel held the ropes to prevent the Superplex. Daniel shoved Jericho off the ropes. Flying Diving Headbutt, by Bryan, for two. Knee Strikes by Daniel but Chris grabbed the legs. Daniel tried to avoid the Walls but Jericho applied the brutal move. Daniel pushed up and rolled under. No Lock attempt was blocked. Jericho tried for another Walls, only to have Daniel twist free. Daniel with a vicious kick to Jericho’s face. 1-2-no.

Daniel with ridiculous kicks to Jericho’s chest. Code Breaker!

Your Winner: Chris Jericho
Grade: A (94%)

Daniel Bryan, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton and Mark Henry are four of the six men that will be in the Smaackdown Elimination Chamber match. The other two spots will be filled, later tonight.

After a look at last week’s ending segment it was time for The Shield’s upcoming opponents to get a little practice, kicking butt…

John Cena, Sheamus and Ryback vs Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre and Jindar Mahal
Six-Man Match

After the extended introductions, the fight was on. Ryback opened up with Heath. Can you say “lop-sided”? Heath pushed his former Nexus compatriot. Gorilla Press Drop by Ryback. Tag to Sheamus. Drew also took a tag. Sheamus unloaded on Drew with punches and kicks. Whip by Shemaus but Drew got the boot up. Drew flipped onto the apron. Crossfaces x 10! Cena took the tag, as did Jindar. Jindar slapped Cena. Cena then hit hte Protobomb and Five Knuckle Shuffle. It turned into a Mosh Pit. White Noise! Attitude Adjustment! Shell Shocked!

Your Winners: John Cena, Ryback and Sheamus
Grade: B (84%)

Ryback grabbed the mike and said he was ready to feast on the Shield. Shemaus took the stick and said everyone has been listening to the Shield’s crap. Sheamus was readyt o get some justice against The Shield, tonight. Cena then took over. Mix of cheers and boos. Cena wanted to know why The Shield would leave themselves in such a risky position. Cena said it was a bad choice. Cena said Ryback, Sheamus and Cena were “The Law”.

Cole and Lawler talked about Big Show’s major surprise on Smackdown. Alberto Del Rio stole the tires off SHow’s tour bus and then drenched Show in orange paint. Even the camera got drenched in Halloween orange. Lawler then sent it to Alex Riley and Yoshi Tatsu, who were making fun of Big Show looking like a huge traffic cone (Nevada sate flower). Big Show came in and laid out both men with Knockout Punches. Ouch.

Big Show lumbered out to the ring. Cole and Lawler were nervous about Show’s state of mind. Show was not dressed to compete. Matt Striker started to ask Show something but Show laid him out with a KO Punch. Show grinned at the out-cold Striker. Show took forever before he spoke. Get on with it, willya? He just dropped the stick and walked to the back. What the Hell? That was a serious waste of a segment.

Cole and Lawler talked about the four inductees that are in already in the Hall of Fame: Mick Foley, Bob Backlund, Trish Stratus and Bruno Sammartino. They ran a promo video about Bruno. Years ago, back in Texas, my first wife, Linda, and I had a pup named Bruno. Bruno went to live with a dear friend who loved the little pup, when we relocated to Vegas. Yes, Bruno was named after the Living Legend.

It was Triple H that reached out to Bruno to have him agree to induction into the Hall of Fame. Thank you, Hunter.

Zack Ryder vs Jack Swagger

Zeb Colter (“Dirty” Dutch Mantel) was in Jack’s corner. Jack with an Amateur lift and drop. Jack sat Zack on the top rope but Zack with a Missile Dropkick. Zack attacked Jack in the corner. Broski Boot by Zack for a one count. Jack went to the floor. Jack caught Zack and hit a Belly to Belly Suplex, on the floor. Jack threw Zack back in the ring. Jack with a straight punch and hard whip. Chop Block to the knees of Ryder. Hard Knee Strike by Jack. Zack got the knees up. Jack blocked the Rough Ryder and Powerbombed Zack into the corner. Gut Wrench Powerbomb into the Patriot Act (Ankle Lock). Tap out.

Your Winner: Jack Swagger
Grade: B (84%)

Jack introduced his friend, Zeb Colter. Zeb rambled on about what is wrong with America. Zeb talked about being with Jack’s daddy in Vietnam. Zeb went all racist with talk about people that couldn’t speak his language. Really? I happen to speak both English and Spanish and know a little Polish, Turkish, German, French, and a couple of Filipino Dialects. Embrace diversity.

In the back, Booker and Teddy talked about how great Jack Swagger has been. They put Swagger in the E-Chamber match. Dolph Ziggler and his entourage came in to complain. Dolph was there to complain about Jericho being in the E-Chamber match. Dolph demanded to be in the E-Chamber match. Booker wanted to be sure that Dolph really wanted in the E-Chamber. Big E Langston answered for Dolph, saying yes. Booker said Dolph woul dhave to fight against the other man who wanted to be in the E-Chamber. Dolph agreed and then asked who he would be facing. “The Big Red Machine, Kane”.

Raw then looked at the attack, on Miz, by Brock Lesnar.

The Miz vs Cody Rhodes

Antonio Cesaro watched the match. The bell sounded nad the men hooked up. Side Headlock by Cody off the Hammerlock. Shoulder Tackle by Cody. Sunset Flip but Miz rolled through and hit a Crescent Kick. Miz choked Cody on the ropes. Goldustin Uppercut by Cody. Clubbing blow by Cody for a two count. Cody stomped on Miz’s back. Snap Mare by Cody into a Running Knee Strike. 2 count. Extended Arm Bar by Cody. Kneelift and Headbutt by Miz. Shoulder by Cody. Punches and Flapjack by Miz. Cody broke out of the Reality Check. MIz slid under Cody and pulled Rhodes off the apron. Cesaro went to attack but ate a boot. Miz exploded on Cody, over and over. Cesaro rushed Miz into the steel post.

Your Winner (by DQ): The Miz
Grade: B (84%)

Cesaro grabbed Miz by the legs and swung him into the barricade, multiple times. That was wild. Cesaro picked up his US title and coat and walked off.

Cole sent it to a video about the Wrestlemania Reading Challenge. Some kids will get tickets to Wrestlemania. WWW.Readingsuperstr.com is where you can learn more. I normally don’t push other websites, directly, but as a former English teacher, reading is so very important to me.

Primo and Epico (w/Rosa) vs Brodus Clay and Tensai

The Monster Dance Factory were ready to unleash on their much smaller opponents. Tensai with a Headbutt on Primo. Thrust shot by Tensai and tag to Brodus. Primo tried for the Noggin Knocker but it didn’t happen. Tag to Epico. Trapped Leg Launch on Primo. Brodus whipped Epico to the corner. Headbutt by Brodus. Backsplash Senton by Tensai, who had tagged in.

Your Winner: The Monster Dance Factory (Brodus Clay and Tensai)
Grade: C (74%)

The Funkadactyls took out Rosa. The Dance party continued.

The Shield made their way through the crowd to address the WWE Universe. Dean said they were there to shield the WWE Universe from people like John Cena. Seth then took over and said the WWE Heroes were going to fail against The Shield. Roman couldn’t believe that Cena and the others were threatening The Shield. Roman called out any members of the WWE Roster that wanted a piece of them, especially Cena. No one came out. The Shield rambled on about how everyone would fail against The Shield. Seth said Cena fails every single day of his life. Dean noted that Cena could do pretty much anything he wanted inside his little “Cena Bubble”. Roman growled that The Shield were the solution to pop the Cena Bubble. The Shield wanted to rectify a decade of injustice in one night, at Elimination Chamber. The Shield offered one last chance for Cena and the crew to come out and face them. Again, no one showed up.

Suddenly, the lights went out. When the lights came back up, Cena, Sheamus and Ryback were in the ring…kicking butt. This was awesome. Meathook Clothesline and The Shield bailed out. The WWE Heroes went out after them. They fought up into the crowd.

Cole and Lawler sent it back to the opening segment, when Heyman tried to resign. Yawn.

Damien Sandow vs Alberto Del Rio
Non-Title Match

Sandow demanded that his music be silenced. Sandow complained about being in the Mecca of Country Music, which he felt was not a good thing. Sandow went off about the subject matter of many country songs. There is the old joke:

“What happens when you play a country song backwrds?” The truck starts working, the dog comes back to life, the foreclosure on the trailer stops and everybody gets a job. Lawler kinda did the joke, too.

Sandow with a kick and Knee Strikes. Elbow of Distain by Sandow. Sandow missed a Corner Splash. Clotheslines and Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker by Del Rio. Superkick by Del Rio. 1-2-no. Del Rio got the “Si!” chant started. Cross Armbreaker! Tap Out.

Your Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Grade: B (84%)

Del Rio talked about Show’s great promo. It was great because Show kept his mouth shut. Del Rio said the time for talking and other things are over. Del Rio said he would defeat Big Show, one last time, on Sunday. Del Rio said he was going to Wrestlemania!

In the back, Bo Dallas attaked Wade Barrett! Turnabout is fair play.

Another Fandango promo ran. They are going to so shove this goofy character down our throats.

Kofi Kingston vs Wade Barrett
Non-title match

Raw looked at the feud between Kofi and Wade. Wade took the I-C title from Kofi, a few weeks back. Wade was still holding his jaw from the previous attack by Bo Dallas.

Kofi with hard kicks. Whip by Kofi but a kick and Back Elbow by Wade. Wade with hard stomps on Kofi. Knee Strikes by Wade. Short Arm Clothesline by Wade for a two.Rear Chin Lock by Wade. Jawbreaker by Kofi. Double Knife Edges and a Dropkick by Kofi. Wade blocked the SOS. Kofi with a Low Kick. Crossbody to Wade’s back. Pendulum Kick by Kofi into a Flying Crossbody for two. Wade flipped Kofi over the ropes. Winds of Change by Wade. 1-2-no.

Lawler thought Wade might have a fractured jaw. Wade missed with the Bull Hammer but Kofi missed with Trouble in Paradise. Wade pulled Kofi into the ring apron and then nailed the Bull Hammer Elbow, from the outside.

Your Winner: Wade Barrett
Grade; B (85%)

Kane vs Dolph Ziggler
Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match

Dolph had A.J. and Big E. at his side. Dolph started with punches and kicks. Back Elbow by Kane. Lawler suggested Dolph get A.J. “Pearls, Pajamas and Prozac” for Valentine’s Day. Uppercut and Suplex by Kane for two. Wicked Dropkick by Dolph. Dolph slugged Kane, so many times. Uppercuts by Kane. Universal but Kane with a Flapjack Drop. Dolph went to the floor and Raw went to break.

Kane threw Dolph off his back. Uppercut by Kane. Running Corner Clothesline by Kane. Dolph got the boot up. Kane hit an Uppercut that put Dolph over the ropes and to the floor. Dolph sent Kane to the barricade after Big E. distracted Kane. Dolph rolled back in the ring. Funk Neckbreaker, in the ropes, by Dolph. Machine Gun Elbow Drops by Dolph.

Rear Chin Lock by Dolph. Kane punched free and whipped Dolph to the ropes. Kane caught the Crossbody. Jumping DDT by Dolph. 1-2-kick out by Kane. Kane dodged a Corner Splash and connected with a Big Boot for two. Corner Clotheslines and Whips by Kane. Sidewalk Slam blocked. Sleeper by Dolph but Kane flipped Dolph over. Famouser by Ziggler for two. Dolph tried for another Sleeper but ended up in the Sidewalk Slam. Kane went to the top but A.J. got on the apron. Dolph bumped the ropes and knocked A.J. into Big E’s arms. Chokeslam on the distracted Dolph Ziggler.

Your Winner: Kane
Grade: B- (82%)

It was time for a promo piece for the Elimination Chamber.

From there, The Rock came out. He got all nostalgic about being a high school student in Nashville. He rambled on and on about buying a piece of crap car from a crackhead at a bar. Yawn. Rock even got a shout out to Jeff Jarrett and Willie Nelson in his way-too-long story. Rock then talked about his first match, at 25, at the Nashville Fairgrounds. Rock was certain he would still be WWE Champ, after E-Chamber.

Enter C.M. Punk and Paul Heyman. Rock insulted Punk and Heyman and then challenged Punk to bring his “Punk *ss” to the ring for a butt stomping. Punk dashed into the ring and the fists flew hard and fast. It went back and forth until Heyman tripped Rock, after a Spinebuster. Rock was going for the People’s Elbow. GTS by Punk! Punk held the WWE title belt and exited the ring with it. Punk acted as if the belt were his. Punk had a microphone. “Story Time is Over, Rock”. Punk said anytime Rock wante d to Bring It, he would just Take It”.


–Jay Shannon

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