Posted December 22nd, 2012 by jshannon

Welcome to Championship Thursday. The TV, Knockout and World titles were all on the line. Plus, all kinds of Christmas Chaos ran rampant.

The show opened with a note of sympathy to the people killed at the school shooting. My prayers are also with the families as they try to continue on after their lives were turned inside out.

It was time for the highlight reel, from the last couple of weeks. Hulk Hogan, Bully Ray, Aces and Eights, Bobby Roode and Austin Aries were all discussed.

Kurt Angle vs Devon
TV Title Match

Angle was still limping from the attack on his leg, from some time back. Kurt said he wanted a title shot against the SOBs that attacked him, Aces and Eights. He ordered Devon to get to the ring. Devon came out with several members of Aces and Eights, including DOC. Kurt noticed the troops and said he had his own pack. He brought out Garett Bischoff, Wes Brisco and Samoa Joe.

The bell sounded and the two locked up. They moved to the corner and Devon took a Side Headlock. Push Off by Kurt. Shoulder Tackle by Devon. He missed a Forearm Drop. Devon Elbowed out of a German Suplex attempt. Haymakers by Kurt. Devon charged and ended up on the floor when Kurt side stepped the rush. The outside groups tore into each other. Kurt stayed in the ring as the ref ejected everyone. Cheap Shot to the knee by Devon. Commercial break.

Kurt was still down and hurt. Devon dropped his weight on the leg and twisted the knee. 1-2-no. Funk Spinning Toe Hold by Devon. Chop Block by Devon. Kurt started to punch back but Devon gave as good as he got. Back Elbow and Missile Dropkick by Kurt. Kurt clutched his hurt knee. Clotheslines by Kurt. Belly to Belly Suplex by Kurt, for a two. Devon escaped the AngleSlam and nailed Kurt with a Spinebuster. Two count. Hat Trick Germans by Kurt. Angle Lock by Kurt. Aces and Eights came out and distracted the ref. Devon tapped but the ref didn’t see it. One of the masked Aces and Eights slid in the ring and cracked Kurt in the back and head with a steel pipe. Joe, Garett and Wes had run down to counter Aces and Eights but missed that guy. The ref turned, after the masked man bailed out, and counted down Kurt.

Your Winner: Devon
Grade: B (84%)

Wes, Garett and Joe checked on Kurt.

Brooke Hogan talked with ODB, Velvet Sky, Mickie James and Miss Tessmacher. Brooke wanted to know why Velvet shouldn’t get a shot. They all said she had been away. ODB was told she should be home, focusing on Eric Young. She was ticked that she got eliminated and told Brooke to kiss her *ss.

Kenny King talked about winning, last week. He downplayed the fact that he cheated. He had his foot on the ropes. King said he was looking forward to teaming with RVD, this week.

Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan vs Kenny King and RVD

Morgan was still wearing the gold an purple Hogan robe. RVD and Joey to start. Joey with a kick and a little dance. RVD came back with a kick and a series of Clotheslines. Jumping Spin Kick and Standing Moonsault, by RVD, for a two. Tag to King. King with a Side Headlock. Joey slid it into a Hammerlock. King with a Japanese Arm Drag. Tag to Morgan, on the fly. Morgan with a brutal Clothesline. Kneelift by Morgan. Joey told Morgan to hit King, harder. Morgan planted his boot in the back and pulled back on the arms, while King was in the ropes. Headbutt by Morgan.

Tag to Ryan. He used the boot to choke King. He nailed RVD. King started to fight back but Joey pulled in the ref. Morgan slammed King into the corner, as the ref was distracted. Morgan choked King with the boot. Hammer Throw into a Side Slam by Morgan. Tag to Ryan, who did a sleazy pose, on the ropes. Twisting Sunset Flip, by King, for a two. Tag to RVD. RVD with wild low Round Kicks. RVD threw Ryan into the corner and tore his teeth up with a kick. Double Dropkick on Morgan. King with an Inverted Atomic Drop and Spinning Enziguri, on Ryan. King left the ring and let Morgan nail RVD with the Carbon Footprint. Morgan placed Ryan on top of RVD. Really?

Your Winners: Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan
Grade: B- (82%)

The creepy 1.3.13 video ran, again.

Impact looked at A.J. Styles’ comments about doing for himself, instead of being the corporate janitor. He said he was tired of always doing the right thing, so now he will be doing his own thing. Kaz was asked about it. He could care less. He was ready to celebrate the holidays for his fans and his best friend, Christopher Daniels. Kaz took a call from “Nick” (as in St. Nick).

Hulk Hogan’s music blared and the Impact General Manager came out to a decent pop. The crowd chanted for Hogan. He said he felt like he was 18 years old, again. Hogan said 2012 was a great year for TNA. He said the company grew, so big, this year. Hogan said the fans could vote for TNA Superstar of the Year. The announement would be made on January 3rd.

Aces and Eights suddenly strolled out, in full force. Devon started to talk but Hogan cut him off and said for him to face Hogan, one on one. Devon said Hogan was believing his own lies. Devon said the year belonged to Aces and Eights, not Hogan. Devon said Aces and Eights took out all of the TNA wrestlers. Devon said his club represented the truth. 2013 will be the year, according to Devon, for gathering gold and for the reveal. Devon said Hogan would not be there. Aces and Eights started to attack but Bully Ray got in the ring and cleared house. Hogan turned and looked at Ray. They stood face to face and there was a pregnant pause. Hogan walked past Ray and left the ring. Ray looked so confused. Ray asked “What the Hell do I have to do?” Break.

Jeff Hardy talked about his issues with Austin Aries. Hardy had respect for Aries, until the whole Aces and Eights thing. Hardy said he beat Aries twice nad would do it again.

Brooke was back for another cut from the title shot. She booted Miss Tessmacher from the hunt. Tessmacher wanted a one-on-one shot at Tara. Tessmacher said she would get her shot, later on.

Kazarian had a couple of presents as he strolled towards the ring. He was singing Christmas tunes.

Impact looked at Daniels and Styles and their feud.

Kazarian came out and walked down to the ring. There was a throne chair in the ring. Kaz said the *ss Goblins couldn’t spoil Christmas for him. There was a tree with “two stars on top” (a cut-out of Daniels and Kaz). Kaz brought out Daniels. Daniels sauntered out in a vest with a scarf. He took the appletini from SoCalVal. Kaz said the throne was for someone special but Daniels could sit there, for the moment. Kaz smooched Daniels’ backside (figuratively) and said there was a special guest to visit Daniels. It was Kristopher Cornelius Kringle aka Santa. Taz didn’t like Santa. Taz joked about Tenay’s advanced age. Santa’s sack had an elf on it that looked a like Cartman (is that show even on, anymore?) Kaz said it was time to give Santa a present. Santa ripped it open and found a pair of Zubaz pants. I love those things. I’d ride my horse, Lacey, wearing those. Daniels wanted a picture with Santa. He got one. Daniels was asked if he had been a good boy. The crowd started chanting “No!” Daniels lied and said he had been good and got rid of the biggest loser in Impact Wrestling history, A.J. Styles. Satna was ready to grant Daniels a Holiday Wish. Daniels said they had so much and they knew it was about giving, not getting. Daniels asked Santa to give stuff to A.J. Styles’ kids because Styles wasn’t going to be able to give them anything…

Enter James Storm. The Cowboy was not happy that Kaz and Daniels were making fun of Christmas. Storm didn’t care if they ran down Styles but Christmas was a different thing. Daniels talked trash about Storm, calling him selfish. Daniels wanted Storm on the Naughty List. Storm said he should come in the ring and do somethign to be put on the list. Storm pushed over the tree and then confronted Santa. Storm wanted to know who the guy dressed as Santa thought he was. Storm said he was ticked off with Santa because he didn’t get a BB Gun and a Truck, when he was a kid. Storm asked Santa what he (Storm) asked for, last year. Santa said it was something country, like a Travis Tritt CD. BUZZ! Storm said it was close but he had asked for a case of Beer. Last Call Superkick on Santa! Haven’t seen something that fun since “Stone Cold” Steve Austin Stunned Santa, several years ago. Storm took the bag and threw presents out to the crowd, including cnady canes.

Austin Aries said people couldn’t hear his inner thoughts. Aries said he and Hardy were going into a wrestling match, his specialty. That match would be coming up, soon. Brooke Hogan would decide who got to face Tara, right after the break.

The creepy vengenace video ran again. It was revealed that the mystery person was…Sting. He said he was coming back, on 1.3.13, to get his bat back and to gain some revenge on Aces and Eights. Sting said DOC was his first target.

In the clubhouse, the VP wanted to know what just happened. The VP said it was time to add new numbers to fight TNA. Devon said he said someone who would step up. He said he had an arrogant person, in mind. Bully Ray? There will be a sit-down, next week.

Brooke made her final decision. Brooke decided to let Mickie have the shot. Velvet wasn’t happy but she accepted it. Velvet, sarcastically, wished Mickie “Good Luck!”

Mickie James vs Tara
Knockout Title Match

Jesse was with his sweeite, Tara. Jesse with the Gorilla Press thing. Mickie looked ready to laugh. Go Behind School Girl by Mickie. Mickie tried to pin Tara but Tara bridged up. Mickie flipped over and hit a few Forearm Smashes. Rollup by Mickie for two. Kneelift by Tara into clubbing blows. Slide Under into a Snap Mare by Mickie. Jesse tripped Mickie. Tara got a two count. Hair Toss by Tara.1-2-no. Flying Hair Pull by Tara. Tara rubbed Mickie’s face into the canvas. Tara then slammed Mickie’s face into hte canvas, several times. Two Count.

Shoulder Thrusts by Tara. Whip by Tara. Mickie collapsed, out of the corner. 2 count, yet again. Bow and Arrow by Tara. Mickie would not submit. Mickie converted the Spider’s Web into the Hurancanrana. Snap Powerslam by Tara for almost a three. Standing Moonsault but Tara landed on Mickie’s knees. The two women traded punches. Tara with a Kneelift. Back Kick and Bicycle Kick by Mickie. Flying Forearms by Mickie into a modified Funk Flying Neckbreaker. Tara with a Thrust. Tara went for the Widow’s Peak but Mickie with the MickieDT. Jesse pulled Tara out of the ring. Todd said he made up the names for the Spider Web and MickieDT. I don’t think so, Skippy. Mickie with a Thesz Press on Jesse, on the floor. Jesse held Mickie’s ankle. Weird Inverted Atomic Drop by Tara (Call it the Spider Bite). Mickie’s leg was bent at a really bad angle.

Your Winner: Tara
Grade: B- (80%)

The main event was on deck.

Impact looked at Joseph Park’s training at OVW. He was really screwing up until he got busted open. He then hit a Black Hole Slam on the guy he was training with. Danny Davis really gave Park a hard time.

Jeff Hardy vs Austin Aries III
World Title Match

Hardy had a nasty cut under one of his eyes. The announcers talked about Hardy wanting this match. Jeremy Borash did the intros. Brian Hebner was the zebra-in-charge.

The two men were ready to tear this puppy up. Collar and Elbow to the corners and along the ropes. Hardy’s eye injury came at th hands of Aces and Eights, last week. The two went to the to corner and Aries exploded on the champ. Stomps by Aries. Hardy turned things around and ran Aries into a couple of different turnbuckles. Scoop Slam into a pin. Only a two for Hardy. Scoop Slam by Aries. Outside In into Hardy’s knees. Snap Mare by Hardy into a Dropkick to the back. Corner Mount Punches by Hardy. Hardy danced a bit. Hardy blasted Aries, who was trapped in the ropes. Aries fell to the floor and asked for a Time Out.

The two got back in the ring and the crowd cheered for Hardy. That ticked off Aries. Kneelifts by Aries into a Whip. Flying Forearm Strike by Aries. Hardy blocked the Brainbuster and punched Aries. La Bandera Clothesline by Hardy. Hardy went to the apron and flew. Aries moved and Hardy hit the ring barrier. Aries rolled back into the ring. The ref begant o count. Impact went to break.

Aries was in charge. He almost scored a three off a Springboard move. Kick to Hardy’s back. Aries drove his boot into Hardy’s face. Corkscrew Elbow Drop, off the ropes, by Aries. 1-2-nope. Aries drove his knee into Hardy’s back and pulled back on the chin. Aries dropped Hardy. Fist Drop by Aries. Strikes to Hardy’s back. Cravat by Aries. Hardy tried to Elbow out but Aries smashed Hardy, over nad over. Straight Punch by Aries. Aries punched the ribs of Hardy as he yelled at the crowd. Tenay brought up that Aries was trained by Eddie Sharkey. Sharkey has a legit claim to being the best trainer in the history of wrestling. He definitely sits together, at the table, with Dory Funk, Jr., Kille Kowalski, Johnny Rodz and a few select others. I want to send a special Merry Christmas out to the man who gave me my in-ring training, Doyle Coltrin. Happiest to you and your lovely girl, my brother.

Hardy got the boots up and then flew off the ropes. Aries got the knees up. Aries blocked the Brainbuster and hit a Flying Front Suplex. Hardy with several shots, including a pair of Flying Forearms. Front Drop Suplex by Hardy. Frog Splash. 2 count. Aries flipped Hardy, who hit the ropes, really hard. Roaring Elbow by Aries, followed by a Running Dropkick, into the corner. Hardy with the Float Over. Flip-Plex by Hardy for two. I love that move. Aries with hard shots. Hardy missed Whisper in the Wind. Hardy used a Knee Strike to avoid the Brainbuster. Hardy ran Aries into the corner. Twist of Fate. Aries stumbled to the corner. Aries blocked a second Twist. Aries flew off the ropes. The ref got taken out when Aries accidentally kicked Hardy into Brian Hebner. Hardy checked on the ref. Low Blow by Aries. Brainbuster! No ref. Aries screamed for a second ref. What he got was…Bobby Roode! Roode pulled the actual ref out. Double R Spinebuster! Roode bailed out as Brian woke up. Twist of Fate. Swanton.

Your Winner: Jeff Hardy
Grade: A (95%)

The show ended with a cameraman trying to talk to Hulk Hogan. They came up on Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray kissing like crazy, near a van.

Many of you may take next week off. In case I don’t get to write/talk to you, I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas. May it be filled with happiness, good health, safety and, of course…


–Jay Shannon

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