WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ IMPACT WRESTLING

Posted March 4th, 2012 by jshannon

Strange things are afoot in the Impact Zone. Sting wants Bobby Roode in an Impact World title match.

The shows opened with Sting explaining that his mysterious tweet “I’m Done!” stood for the fact that he was done with Bobby Roode’s shenanigans. Sting applied face paint and said Roode “Woke him up!” At Victory Road, they will lock up.

Kurt Angle laughed as he was asked why he did what he did to Jeff Hardy. He had cue cards to explain all the reason for what he did.

Roll the awesome opening montage.

Kurt Angle walked out to the ring, stone-faced. Impact looked back at how Kurt destroyed Jeff Hardy, weeks ago. Kurt said he ws there to explain his reasons for assaulting Jeff.
1.”Jeff Hardy has lots of hair and I don’t.” Having colored hair doesn’t make you a champion.
2. The way Jeff Hardy dresses.
3. Jeff Hardy walks in late and fans leave Kurt Angle to meet Jeff.
4. Girls just LOVE Jeff Hardy.
5. Kurt has over 100 different action figures, posters and t-shirts. But Kurt’s son has Jeff Hardy posters and action figures. Kurt’s son, Kody, even dresses like Jeff, including face paint. Jeff is Kody’s hero.

Kurt demanded that Jeff come to the ring. Hardy’s weird music rang out and the crowd popped big time. Kurt yelled at Jeff. He challenged Jeff to a match at Victory Road. Kurt said he would destroy Hardy at the PPV. Hardy attacked Kurt and the punch fest was on. Trainers, refs and officials rushed out to keep the two apart. It didn’t work. Hardy accepted the challenge.

Bobby Roode talked, backstage, about himself. he was upset about how Sting behaved towards him, last week. Roode said Sting didn’t deserve to book himself in a World Title Match. Austin Aries strolled up and said he agreed with Bobby about Sting. Aries said he was fed up with Sting. Roode asked to talk, in private, with the X-Division star.

A.J. Styles vs Christopher Daniels and Kazarian
Gauntlet Match

All three made their way down as Christy Hemme announced them. Kazarian cost Styles the TV title, last week. Styles had a proposition for both men. Styles said when he beat both men, Kaz and Daniels had to come clean about what is going on with the two guys. Daniels didn’t like it, but Kazarian said they would go for that idea.

Styles jumped Daniels on the outside and then started beating Daniels back into the ring. Knife Edge Chops by Styles. Styles blocked a Hip Toss adn nailed a Clothesline. Back Drop Snap Suplex by Styles. Backbreaker into a Gutbuster by Styles. Stall Suplex by Styles. 1-2-no. Kaz distracted Styles. Impact went to break.

Styles dropped Daniels and stared down Kaz. Styles went out to the floor. Daniels slid out and Pearl Harbored Styles. They got back in the ring and started working over Styles’ lower back. Back Body Drop by Daniels. Daniels drove his knee into Styles’ back. Daniels pounded on the back until Styles came back fighting. Float Over by Styles but a fist tot he face stalled Styles’ momentum.Daniels went for a Dragon Sleeper but Styles nailed the Pele. Clothesline, back Elbow adn Spin Kick by Styles. Springboard Flying Fore-arm. Styles with an AA into a Neckbreaker. Styles called for the Styles Clash but Daniels with a Double Thrust into an STO. Kazarian rushed in and hit the Fade to Black. Christopher Daniels was disqualified. Kazarian then took the quick pin.

Your Winner: Kazarian
Grade: B+ (89%)

Daniels was completely confused by the whole thing. In the back, Madison Rayne was placing posters of Gail on the wall. Gail had a present for Madison…a match against ODB. Yeah! After the match, Gail had a Spa Day planned for the girls.

Madison Rayne vs ODB

Gail Kim was in Madison’s corner for this match. Eric Young was with his “sweetie”, ODB. Eric went after the ref. Jeez. Taz talked about how bad Eric smelled. Madison and ODB circled. Madison with a kick and Fore-arm Shots. ODB with a Shoulder Tackle. Madison went to leave but got caught. Forearm Blast by ODB. ODB ran Madison into the corner, several times over. Bronco Buster blocked! Madison launched ODB. Eric was up on the apron, asking for a tag. ODB Elbowed herself free. Madison went for the Rayne of Terror but ODB blocked it. Kneelift and kicks by ODB. Corner Splash into Shoulder Tackles. Eric ripped off his shirt as ODB nailed the Bronco Buster. ODB wanted the Bamm and got it. 1-2-3. It looked like Gail was going to get involved but changed her mind.

Your Winner: ODB
Grade: B (84%)

Madison and Gail grumbled at each other.

Impact looked at how Brandon Jacobs Chokeslammed Bully Ray through a table. Ray rambled on about how James Storm had messed things up. Bobby Roode came up and the woman walked off. Roode said it was embarrassing that a football guy could put Ray through a table. Aries convinced Ray that Sting, not Storm or Jacobs, was the problem. Roode said they had a plan and wanted Ray to join the cause.

Velvet Sky was complaining about how Madison Rayne screwed her out of the Battle Royal to determine the number one contender. Velvet said she busted her *ss and was tired of being screwed over. Velvet got into a fight with Angelina Love and Winter, in the parking lot. Velvet was annihilated by the Brit and the Canadian.Mickie James rushed over to help her friend. All four women would face off, later on.

Ric Flair went off on Garrett Bischoff, backstage. Flair warned Garrett that he was powerful. He told Garrett that he had one week to come to his senses, or things would go to new levels (bad ones). Garrett appreciated the notification. He walked off as Eric Bischoff, Flair and Gunner called the kid an “Arrogant B*stard!”

Bully Ray, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode came out, in unison, to address the crowd. Roode said he was the reason that everyone came to the show and the home audience tuned in. Roode claimed to be the most dominant wrestler to ever hold the Impact World Title. Roode told Sting should not have attacked him or booked himself to fight Roode at Victory Road. Roode said there would not be a match between Sting and Roode. Ray took the mic and ordered the cameraman to shoot his calves. Ray now understood that this was all Sting’s fault. Ray showed everyone his biggest embarrassment of all time…being put through a table by Brandon Jacobs. Ray said he was done, just like Roode was done. Aries then took the microphone. Aries noticed all that Sting was doing. Aries figured that Sting was jealous and didn’t know when to step out of the limelight. Aries said he could do things in the ring that Sting couldn’t do in his dreams. Aries said he was done, as well. All three went into a Sit In to stop the show. The crowd called for Sting. The lights went out and when they came back on, Sting was sitting next to them all.

Sting said he took the straw and stirred up the drink, a bit. Sting said if Roode, Ray and Aries were really done, they needed to talk. Sting said if Roode and Aries were really done, their titles would be vacated. They freaked out. Sting said Ray couldn’t get paid if he was done. Sting asked them again if they were done. Sting did agree that Aries hadn’t been in a main event. He put the three against Samoa Joe and Magnus and their partner…James Storm! The lights went out again and Sting disappeared.

There was an update on Jesse Sorenson. He may be out for a year or so. Please continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers. Jesse mentioned calling his mom to tell her that he was paralyzed. His mom wanted to make life better for him, even though there wasn’t a lot that she could do. She mentioned that you not take anything for granted. The mom told Jesse that she wanted to help him get better so he can get back into the ring.

Zema ion was interviewed about his feelings. Ion really played up the heel bit. He said it was wrestling and injuries happen. I know they needed him to really go heel but that was uncool.

Shannon Moore vs Zema Ion

Zema had his trademark hair spray can with him. Taz was quite upset with Ion’s callous comments. The two men, in the ring, locked up and Ion worked Moore’s arm. Ion held onto the mohawk to avoid a push off. Wheelbarrow Bulldog by Moore. Knife Edge Chop and Irish Whip by Moore. Ion slid out of the ring. Baseball Slide by Moore. They went to the fllor and ion hit a Running Clothesline. Ion called out Austin Aries. Back in the ring, Ion with a huge Missile Dropkick. Ion then threw Moore into the corner. Hammer Throw by Ion.

Moore blocked a Body Slam and went for the ropes. Ion with an Inverted Diamond Cutter. Ion then scaled the ropes.Moore with a Dropkick to Ion.Moore went up top and nailed a Hurancanrana. 1-2-Kick Out! Moore missed a Moonsault. Ion with Double Knees to the back. He then nailed Ion the Prize to take the win.

Your Winner: Zema Ion
Grade: B+ (89%)

Sarita and Angelina Love vs Velvet Sky and Mickie James

Velvet ran down to the ring and attacked Love. Sarita tried to pull them apart but Mickie stopped her. Velvet with a hard kick and Irish Whip. Love and Sky traded blows and Sky with a Biel. Mickie took the tag. Head Scissors Hurancanrana by Mickie for two. Love kicked free and made the tag. Mickie with the Flapjack. Sarita lifted Mickie and rushed her to the enemy corner. Love tried for the sneak attack but Mickie blasted her. Mickie slid under and Snap Mared Sarita. Low Bridge by Love sent Mickie to the floor.

Sarita with a Tope Suicida. Sarita and Love beat down on Mickie. Velvet tried to get over to help but Earl Hebner blocked her. WHY? Back in the ring, Sarita blasted Mickie and took her to Love. Love slammed Mickie’s face into the corner and then weakened her with the Boot Choke. Mickie fought her way out of the corner and ended up in a Side Slam. Sarita took the tag and started working on Mickie’s leg. Mickie almost got free but Sarita blasted her. Sarita missed a Corner Splash but came back to hit a Clothesline. Sarita went for the Wheelbarrow Bulldog but Mickie turned it into a Back Drop Suplex.

Velvet and Love got hot tags and tore into Love. Falling Armbreaker by Velvet. Sarita rushed in and held Love. Love charged and ate a Big Boot. Jawbreaker on Sarita by Sky. Mickie flew off the top with a Super Thesz Press, taking out Sarita. Love missed the Botox Injection and Velvet planted Love with the In Your Face.

Your Winners: Velvet Sky and Mickie James
Grade: B (84%)

Backstage, James Storm went off on Bobby Roode. April 15th, Storm and Bobby Roode will face off at Lockdown. Magnus started talking about how unusual this teaming might seem but he was sure the three of them would be able to take care of Bully Ray, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode.

Mike Tenay said the family of Abyss sent a letter to Impact. They are looking for The Monster.Impact showed video of Abyss’ last appearance for TNA. Abyss wanted to fight Bully Ray, at Genesis. They tore each other apart at the PPV in a sick and twisted Monster’s Ball Match. Abyss won that match but was assaulted, backstage. Bully Ray was asked where Abyss was. He had no clue.

Bobby Roode, Austin Aries and Bully Ray vs Samoa Joe, Magnus and James Storm

Jeremy Borash did the Buffer-istic introductions. Ray snatched the mic and introduced himself. JB then picked up the microphone from where it had been dropped and continued. Samoa Joe and Magnus actually got a decent pop. Storm’s name being mentioned brought deafening cheers. Aries and Magnus started the battle. Aries rolled under Magnus’ charge. Magnus applauded him. Go Behind by Aries. Magnus stomped the foot and then worked the arm. Aries with a quick reversal into a Ride. Magnus was both amused and annoyed. Aries wanted a Test of Strength.He couldn’t reach the upturned arm so Aries kicked Magnus. Cartwheel by Aries ended up with Aries getting Clotheslined. Tag to Roode.

Storm begged for the tag and got it. Roode rushed over and bailed out of the ring. Impact went to break.

Storm and Ray were going at it as the show returned. Ray blasted Storm with hard fists to the head of Storm. Storm got his fill and opened up on Ray. Storm cranked on Ray’s arm and then brought in Samoa Joe. Huge “Joe” chant. Joe No-Sold several hard strikes. Joe went down after a Running Back Elbow but came back with a Flying Leg Larita. Ray went to Joe’s eyes and tagged out to Aries. Deep Overhead Throw by Joe. Tag to Magnus. Magnus with a Big Boot. Joe with the Backsplash Senton. Aries got a hard shot in and went to tag Roode. Storm took the tag and Roode went to the floor. rRoode got back in and immediately tagged out to Aries. Tag to Joe. Joe with brutal punches to the face. Irish Whip to the corner. Aries ducked out of the corner and went for a Dropkick. He missed. Joe went for the Muscle Buster but Roode rushed in to kick Joe. Aries with a Crucifix Powerbomb. Ray came in and attacked Joe with a Spinning Neckbreaker. Ray blasted the back and a Double Sledge. Roode came in and worked over the neck. Joe tried to fight out of enemy territory but Roode with ashot tot he back and a Knife Edge Chop. Snap Mare by Roode. Roode spat at Storm. Ray came back in and hit another Neckbreaker. Magnus made the save. Aries taggd back in and worked over Joe. Modified Savage Elbow to Joe’s neck.

Aries threw Joe into the corner and Joe attacked both Ray and Roode. Aries with the Single Leg. Ray tagged in and delivered an Elbow Drop. Joe kicked out at two. Joe came back with hard jabs but fell to a Clothesline. Ray tagged out to World Champ, Roode. Roode stalked the big Samoan and then pounded on him. Roode also cracked Magnus in the faace. Roode charged Joe, only to get laid out with a Uranage. Storm begged for the hot tag and got it. Storm laid out the charging Aries with a Flapjack. Storm also laid out Ray, on the apron. Storm then set his sights on the World Champ. Huge Back Body Drop. Ray came in and pounded away on Storm. Ray went to whip Storm into Aries but a bit of miscommunication led to Ray getting decked. Joe and Magnus with the Snap Mare into the Madness Elbow. Storm with the Closing Time into the Last Call Superkick. 1-2-3!

Your Winners: James Storm, Magnus and Samoa Joe
Grade: A (95%)

After the match, Ray attacked all three opponents with a steel chair. Ray kicked the chair into Storm’s face. Storm was spitting up blood. Ray told Storm “You ain’t making it to Lockdown, Cowboy!”

Peace

–Jay Shannon
Jade89512@yahoo.com

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