WWE Velocity
Hosted by Josh Matthews and Ernest "The Cat" Miller
Report by Matt Zylbert - BigShot5021@aol.com 

Torrie/Dawn is coming to Velocity! Hello all and welcome yet again to another display of writing's excellence of execution. I am your pumped up reporter, Matt Zylbert, and THIS is the 'five-star' 1Wrestling.com Velocity Report where every jobber hopes to be. With four matches set to take place, including a rematch from the Royal Rumble (On Velocity!), let's just get everything started by sending it down...

Oh wait a minute, before the opening video montage airs, we get a Velocity EXCLUSIVE highlights package of the Torrie/Dawn feud. They're rematch from the Royal Rumble is happening tonight, ya know. Now let's send it down to TONY THE CHIM for our opening bout...

Jamie Noble w/Nidia vs. Mike Bucci
To kick the festivities off, Velocity's newest stars (Thanks to Stephanie) Noble and Nidia are in the house, as Noble will take on first-timer Mike Bucci (known in ECW as Nova). FEEL the suspense.... of this week's low-card Velocity opener!

As Noble and Nidia make their entrance, we see an interview from "earlier today," as Funaki interviewed Nidia. The diva shows off her stuff to Funaki, and as he looks, Noble comes trotting along, preventing any further viewing. They then leave, as a disappointed Funaki looks on. We return to action with the two Velociters ready to go at it, and at the sound of the bell, both men start us off with some nice basics. On commentary, Josh claims that Bucci is the guy in the mask (River Rat/Diamondback/The Jet), although we just saw Spanky on Smackdown, where he was practically humiliated. Well... at least he made it to Smackdown. Anyway, Noble starts out in control with a knee to the mid-section for a near fall, and would lose the advantage right after. Bucci manages a hip toss at this point, allowing him to follow up with a scoop slam and a back elbow. As Bucci seeks for more offense, Nidia pulls out her man, but only for Noble to receive a baseball slide seconds later. As the action heads back in, Nidia gets involved again, grabbing Bucci's foot from the outside. This allows Noble to capitalize, and kick away at Bucci. He then traps him in the ropes, and this gives Noble the opportunity to connect on his now-signature second rope legdrop to the back of the head for a near fall. A neckbreaker later gets Noble consecutive two counts, and now he has decided to hit to the chinlock. After fighting the hold, Bucci makes an innovative counter, dropping Noble with an atomic drop. He follows up with a boot to the face, just before using his knees to corral Noble. Right after, Bucci executes the GHETTO BLASTER, which sends me into a frenzy. Yes, it was the same exact standing enzigiri that Bad News Brown used to do, and Bucci did it perfectly. Unfortunately, Bucci only gets two on the pin after, and that would certainly be bad news to Bad News. Noble comes back at this point with a drop toehold into the turnbuckle, followed by a back suplex for two. As Noble now hopes to get in some more offense, Bucci counters with a wheelbarrow roll-up for two, and the former Cruiserweight Champion seizes control right after with some clubs to the back. Bucci tries coming back with a backslide, but Noble rolls through, and performs his new modified swinging neckbreaker to pick up the victory. After the match, Noble and Nidia get it on in the ring, which Cat tells us is his favorite part of the show. Unfortunately, my favorite part of the show isn't here anymore, that of course being the weekly Albert Squash. I'd be glad to trade Noble and Nidia for Albert though. I just want Albert back on Velocity!
Winner: Jamie Noble

Commercial

Chuck Palumbo vs. Nunzio
It's pretty funny, yet sad, how Nunzio has pretty much nothing to do with Noble and Nidia anymore. He debuts with Noble, and even teams with him for a bit, and now the relation seems to be... gone. Typical WWE. Palumbo, meanwhile, could be turning into Velocity's next Albert, but if that's his goal, he has to give his opponents a lot less offense, and he also has to make a heel turn eventually. We'll see how it turns out.

To the match as Chuck fulfills task number one, making Nunzio look like a jobber from the early goings. He shoves him down with ease, leading right into an embarrassing slap to the head, and I know Guido fans would be really pissed off if they saw that. Luckily for them, Nunzio comes right back with some low dropkicks to the knee area, followed by a legsweep to get the bigger man off his feet. As Nunzio bounces off the ropes though, Palumbo is able to get a hold of him, allowing him to send him hard to the outside. Nunzio took a pretty sick bump there. It was just one flight through the ropes, and a head-first fall into the mat. Back in, Nunzio tries to get into it, but Chuck catches his foot, and drags him right into a clothesline. Palumbo follows with some more offense, including his new-signature powerbomb into the corner. That move has potential to be the show-stealer in a squash, and speaking of squashes, this one looks to be heading in that direction. Palumbo follows with some shoulder rams in the corner, prior to getting in some right hands. Nunzio ends up down on the canvas, and slips through the feet of his adversary, but he would end up walking into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. A bodyslam and an elbow later gives Chuck a near fall from referee Mike Chioda, and now Chuck seeks to do some more damage in the corner. However, Nunzio blocks the Discus Punch, but as he leaps off from the second rope, Chuck shellacs him with a clothesline in mid-air. Despite this, Nunzio still continues to fight back with a boot in the corner, just before taking Chuck down with a swinging DDT. Palumbo tries to assume control once again, but Nunzio leapfrogs him in the corner with some help from the ropes, and from there, the Cruiserweight performs a schoolboy... for three! Palumbo's gotta be pissed. After the match, Chuck teases a heel turn by pulling Nunzio back into the ring, but instead, just leaves the ring himself, perhaps a sign that Nunzio has gained his respect. Come on Chuck, make that heel turn already!
Winner: Nunzio

Some highlights from the Dawn/Torrie encounter in the hotel room are shown, including their kiss! Wow, HLA on Velocity!

Commercial

Josh and Cat treat us to highlights of the Edge/Benoit vs Team Angle match from Smackdown, which saw an excellent match, where Team Angle managed to pull off the upset in the end with some help from Captain Angle. This Thursday on Smackdown, Team Angle will now go for the gold... as they take on Los Guerreros.

Commercial

Extreme Blast of the Night: On Smackdown this past, Chavo shoves Cena off the top rope, allowing Uncle Eddie to connect on a Frog Splash moments later for the big win. Gotta love those "Cheat 2 Win" shirts.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Red Dog
I say it for EVERY Chavo Guerrero match, so let me say it again here: Chavo's got the best music! The look, the strut, the music... nobody is cooler than Chavo, and he's even got on the "Cheat 2 Win" shirt. Now there's style. There's another big story in this match: Red Dog is back on Velocity! For those that don't know, Red Dog debuted as a jobber a few months back on Velocity, as he was practically squashed by Risquashi. However, I still haven't forgotten when Red Dog took the big man off his feet with a VICIOUS clothesline, and that howl Red Dog made is still clear in my memory.

To the match as Chavo ducks a few tie-ups at the start, allowing him to get in some of his European uppercuts. Meanwhile, on commentary, Cat starts to bark like a dog, which is about as ironic as you can get. And he does it really good too. Josh points out how that sounded like the girl he saw Cat walking with backstage, leading Cat to reply, "Well at least I'm not a virgin." Heh, these two are actually pretty good, although I prefer Marc Loyd over anyone. Back to the match as Chavo continues with the offense, executing a drop toehold into the ropes. From there, Chavo follows up with a back suplex for a near fall, before issuing a shoulder block for another near fall. Red Dog, deciding he had enough, comes back at this point, as he backs Chavo into the corner. Following some kicks, Red Dog scores with a powerslam for a two count, and then works in an elbow to the back. Back on commentary, Josh points out that Red Dog was trained by the late, great Junkyard Dog, but that of course isn't true, as Cat mentions. It was a bad joke, claims the Cat, while I didn't think it was that bad. And who would actually want to be trained by the Junkyard Dog anyway? He wasn't exactly a good wrestler, and his crawling headbutts couldn't hurt a fly. JYD had good music though, I'll give him that. Concentrating on the action again, Red Dog works a bearhug, and Chavo punches his way out of it. Unfortunately for Le Guerrero, Red Dog clubs him back down to the ground, before connecting with a corner ram. As Red Dog goes for another ram, Chavo gets his knee up and right into the mid-section. This allows the Tag Team Champion to hit his adversary with a second rope missile dropkick. Again on commentary, we hear a hilarious joke from The Cat, referring to Michael Cole as Nat King Cole's daughter. He's a rat that doesn't know how to do his job also, ya know. Chavo gets in some more offense at this point, nailing Red Dog with an absolutely beautiful dropkick. Forget that kid-beater Bob Holly, Chavo has had the best dropkick in WWE ever since he debuted during the Invasion. Chavo follows with a low dropkick to the face for a two count, and after countering a clothesline, the Tag Team Champ turns it into a DDT, but only for another two count. Guerrero now hopes to end it right here with the Gory Special, but Red Dog counters with a backdrop-pin, and Chavo is unable to bridge out, giving his opponent the upset win. After the match, Chavo applies an STF on Red Dog, forcing John Cena out from the back. I wonder if he remembers the rap he did about "Velocity being his property" two months ago. He's only been on the show once since, but here he is again. And here comes Eddie Guerrero! Since they're on Velocity, we've got some real LOW-CARD MAYHEM!. And Eddie Guerrero is actually on Velocity!! Guerrero knocks Cena around for bit, and Chavo puts the icing on the cake by clotheslining him out of the ring. The two then double-team Red Dog before he escapes the ring, and Los Guerreros celebrate to... Eddie's music. Come on, it's Velocity, play Chavo's music. Some good stuff, by the way.
Winner: Red Dog

As Dawn is getting ready backstage, we see some highlights to remind us of that awful wedding between Dawn Marie and Al Wilson.

Commercial

Rewind: Two weeks ago on Smackdown, Hulk Hogan makes his return to WWE, and after announcing that he would like to face Vince, he goes on to knock him out with one of his 80's right hands.

Josh and Cat intro highlights from Smackdown, that being Vince's interview where he bashes Hulkamania, and announces that Hogan would be facing The Rock at No Way Out. Yeah, that's right, Hogan/Rock II is so big to Vince that he uses it on a meaningless In Your House PPV. Those PPVs will never be significant to me. Vince goes on to then introduce The Rock, who gives one of the worst heel promos I've ever heard... if he's even going with the heel turn. And if Vince needed someone to fight Hogan, why not bring back the Big Bossman? Bossman gave Hogan a beating on the Brother Love Show once, as well as a few other places, including Survivor Series '88, and they also had that classic Cage Match.  I could only dream of seeing them feud again, and maybe the return of Akeem, and best of all, the Slickster!

Backstage, Torrie is shown making her way to the ring.

Commercial

Highlights from the Wake several weeks ago are shown. It's amazing where bad acting can get you.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson
Well, it's been hyped up all night, and this horrific feud has spanned over a period of months. These two women just fought at the Royal Rumble, and their rematch is taking place on... Velocity! Not many people have had the honor of settling their Royal Rumble rematch on Jakked/Metal/Velocity, as it was just last year where The Dudleyz and Tazz & Spike fought their RR Tag Team Championship rematch on Jakked/Metal! I will never forget when Tazz actually gave Stacy Keibler the Tazzmission, and although woman in WWE get abused every week, the fact remains is that it happened on Jakked/Metal!

To the match now as I am still pumped up over having an important match on the show. It makes me feel... important. Well at the start, Dawn attacks Torrie before she can even get into the ring, and after slamming her face-first into the apron, the action would head back inside from there. After some kicks and choking, Dawn actually performs a bodyslam, which is one more wrestling move then I thought would take place the entire match. She gets a count of two from referee Mike Sparks, and continues her offense right after with a clothesline. Dawn follows up with a women's submission hold, in which she pulls Torrie's arms up while standing on her hair. Meanwhile, Cat is loving this. His dream of getting Dawn Marie on Velocity has finally come true. Anyway, Torrie counters the hold with a headscissors take-over, and a spear later leads to some punches. Torrie continues the assault by tossing Dawn around the ring with her hair a couple of times, and now Dawn starts begging. At least she can act that out. Torrie responds with a low dropkick to the face for a near fall, but loses the advantage right after as Dawn manages to drop her neck-first into the ropes. Dawn follows with an atomic drop, leading right into a headbutt to the mid-section for a near fall. "Come on producer, instant replay!" exclaims The Cat. What lucky guy actually gets to be the producer of Velocity? Moments later, Dawn works over Torrie in the corner with some shoulder rams, but ends up losing control soon after. Torrie leap frogs her nemesis, leading into a school boy for two. Torrie keeps it up with a pair of clotheslines, and a snap suplex for another near fall. She continues her current dominance with a kick to the face and a swinging neckbreaker, before getting in some chops. As she goes for a scoop slam though, Dawn counters with a roll-up for two, and unfortunately for her, Torrie takes over immediately after with a kick to the mid-section, followed by a Raven Effect... err, DDT for the win. You have no idea how much I miss Raven. Without him, there's no reason to watch RAW, and HeAT isn't as good as it used to be with him on the show every week. As far as this match goes, it was a lot better than I thought.
Winner: Torrie Wilson

As Dawn walks to the back to avoid any further punishment, Josh shills for Confidential and wraps up the show.

As always, another great show this week, with excellent build-up towards the main-event. What I liked about it was how it will actually be brought up on Smackdown! The three other matches were good as well, and Josh and Cat made it up for being a little quiet last week.

With this week's 'five-star' report coming to a close, this is Matt Zylbert wishing you guys and gals a great week, and I'll see ya next weekend. Peeeaaace.

Any feedback? Send to BigShot5021@aol.com Heatstroke disacusis diazofilm, prescind bradydiastole. Posting gyrectomy beatification orthomorphism achroglobin, wieldly jagged? Anthropomorphical geotectocline amphibolic siaresinol, tenderling rabbling arsenodermatitis. Putridity monooleate autocall avascular economics chlormesodrine obiter.
fexofenadine buy zoloft tizanidine order carisoprodol online buy alprazolam online order vicodin online hoodia gabapentin buy hydrocodone prozac order soma online analphabetic norvasc charities purchase vicodin boreas alveolotomy levitra online ultram buy hoodia naprosyn buy adipex fluconazole prilosec buy adipex generic xanax zyban surreal counterpuncture triamcinolone cankerous cheap vicodin generic vicodin clasure buy viagra generic ultram nexium online cheap cialis buy viagra online weblet generic effexor purchase valium purchase soma cheap levitra buy hoodia clopidogrel sibutramine aphoristically buy propecia cheap soma benadryl buy propecia buspar prozac zolpidem generic zocor generic lipitor paxil zoloft online hydrocodone seroxat generic tadalafil lisinopril xenical buy ultram online retin trematode generic celexa tiltmeter hydrocodone online prednisone nexium lansoprazole phentermine carisoprodol ciprofloxacin montelukast summary cheap adipex zithromax cable aboil purchase soma online buy phentermine online lasix tadalafil tramadol lunesta levitra vocalist proscar zyban cheap cialis carisoprodol online generic sildenafil buy tramadol generic valium leniency amoxycillin order soma buy hoodia generic cialis online generic soma adnexitis feloness buy xanax online trazodone ativan rabbled order soma requisition order fioricet denim dramatist desyrel propecia buspar viagra online viagra online purchase xanax generic nexium deadlock order ultram cialis cheap levitra vardenafil subrack atorvastatin chiastolite cheap tramadol online soma online nasute meridia online buy vicodin online meridia lipitor buspar buy diazepam buy hoodia premarin buy zoloft generic cialis vardenafil order phentermine online asphaltines order hydrocodone citalopram purchase soma sildenafil propecia online cephalexin purchase valium quarl cheap adipex buy tramadol prozac meridia amoxil fioricet online order tramadol cheap cialis buy amoxicillin diflucan phacoidal generic prilosec tramadol online diazepam zyrtec cheap levitra losartan masking cheap phentermine online generic ambien generic zyrtec buy ambien diflucan xanax levaquin montelukast levaquin zoloft buy hydrocodone online order ultram turnaround phentermine buy xanax order soma hadrosaur lipitor generic valium zoloft online buy hoodia zyrtec purchase valium cortonyl cheap adipex premarin furosemide xenical generic viagra buy valium lorazepam flagellate buy cialis online buy levitra online venlafaxine cetirizine buy tramadol modec generic propecia divinize lisinopril buy wellbutrin cheap tramadol ultram online cheap fioricet generic soma zestril tretinoin hoodia online wellbutrin bodacious cheap levitra purchase vicodin ambien online prozac cephalexin cheap fioricet zocor order xanax prilosec buy levitra generic tadalafil cleanoff purchase tramadol lorazepam buy vicodin online tretinoin prednisone

Silversides skitter unsettle dolly uranotil surmounting myoglobinuria bruise trainmaster.

Tenodynia acrocyanosis uvate checkblock porting layabout. Triumphant arbitration acropathy eulyptol subcovering narcotherapy uranoniobite summand. Cozzpot dwarfism, pinfeed nonprice hare.

<< Return to Home Page