THE PLANCHA WEEKLY: LIVE THOUG
By: Joe DeProspero
1/13/2004 12:19:00 PM
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The night started with a
desperate search for the elusive and not-so-evident Armory building on Main St.,
Woodbridge, and ended with a spectacular 4-way involving some of the greatest
workers in the business today.
When I finally put up the white flag, stopped,
and asked for directions to this building, I discovered I was about 100 yards
from my destination, but the place was so poorly land-marked and lit up that
you’d need night vision and a compass to find it on the first shot. But I
settled in my seat regardless and awaited the night of action.
Before the opening bell sounded, there were
sounds of chair shots coming from the backstage area. Then, in what seemed very
shoot-like to many in the crowd, a bunch of guys sprawled out from behind the
curtain, erupting in a giant brawl. It was capped off by a face-to-face
encounter between Balls Mahoney and the man he’d be facing for the ROH title
later that night, Samoa Joe. It was a good way to the get the crowd going early
in the show. And for those of you who don’t attend indy shows, there’s
always a very thin line between work and shoot, where you find yourself
wondering whether or not everything is “really a part of the show” or not.
At least that’s the feel I get from these types of shows. This opening scene
was one of those things. Of course, when it becomes evident that the punches
being thrown aren’t “real” punches, you get the picture.
The opening bout saw the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
go over Dunn and Marcos- who look like the 2004 version of the Rockers, with
fringed pants and all. This match included some offense not likely to be seen on
Monday or Thursday nights. In fact, my friend Andrew, who had never been to
anything but WWE shows, turned to me and said, “Wow! That move’s from No
Mercy!” (referring to the Nintendo 64 wrestling game) It became obvious early
that innovative action was new to him.
Ruckus went over Derek Wylde in a decent match
that ended with somewhat of a botched finish, resulting in an anticlimactic
ending. But, these things happen, and I am not a big fan of people chanting
“You f’ed up” after something like this happens. Give the guy a break!
The tag match including Devito (formerly of
ECW’s Baldies fame), along with Trent Acid facing Johnny Kashmere and HC Loc
was an entertaining one. Devito is funny as hell and the crowd ate up his act,
as he butted heads with his partner for the night, Trent Acid. Trent starting
dancing in the ring, to which Devito yelled out to the audience, “You gonna
pop for this guy shakin’ his ass?” Since both teams (Backseat Boyz &
Carnage Crew) had swapped tag partners for the night, it made for an
interesting, and often humorous situation. Devito and Acid came out on top.
The 6-man scramble match featuring Insane Dragon,
Jay Lethal and Azriel taking on Special K’s Lit, Deranged and Dixie was solid,
Anytime you have a bunch of cruisers flying to and fro while including a couple
of dragon suplexes and ground submissions, I’m a happy guy. Fans who don’t
get enough cruiserweight action by watching WWE (and who does?) would have been
very happy to see this one. The friend who I brought to the show was popping
like a bag of buttery popcorn.
It probably wasn’t a good idea to follow this
match (I think this is in sequential order) with Shane Douglas. No sooner did
Shane come out to the ring to face Justin Credible than he was being viciously
booed. And anyone in attendance that night will probably remember a particularly
loud individual who was ripping Douglas apart verbally. Well, that guy was, of
course, directly behind me. He was shouting things like: “You haven’t been a
decent worker in 10 years!” “Of course, five minutes is an iron man match
for him!” (said when Douglas started to head back to the showers prematurely)
I’d include more of his tirade, but I simply can’t do that because of the
language restrictions. However, Douglas did have his revenge as he got the crowd
to chant “Penis-head” at him (he was bald). Later in the card, he ripped on
CM Punk and was greeted with a “Shut the F up” chant from the crowd. Word to
the wise- if you’re going to make a point, make it. Just don’t overstay your
welcome or the crowd will turn on you in a HURRY. I guess this guy figured that
out. Anyway, the match itself was mediocre to fair. Justin Credible sustained a
nasty hand injury, as his palm was sliced open after a bump into the security
wall. Shane finished Justin off with a horrible-looking belly-to-belly suplex.
The crowd capped it off with a “Don’t come back” chant directed at
Douglas. Yes, it’s safe to say he isn’t an Internet favorite.
In the lone women’s match on the card, April
Hunter beat Sumie Sakai with a neckbreaker variation. The crowd was starting to
get burnt out by the time this match hit, as everyone was generally waiting for
what was sure to be match of the night, the 4-way between Styles, Daniels,
Walters, and Punk. But Sakai and Hunter did a good job of keeping the crowd into
it. Hunter did an impressive top-rope submission move, as she leaned upside down
out of the ring, exhibiting more cleavage than you could shake a stick at. So,
it was a solid women’s match with some T&A on the side, or at least some
T.
Samoa Joe went over Balls Mahoney to retain the
ROH world title. The crowd wavered between the two as “Balls” chants were
followed almost immediately by “Joe” chants. My first thought was, “This
crowd seems torn.” My second thought was, “Wow, these people LOVE me!” But
the match was a typical big man match, with Balls showing off some of his
wrestling skills in the process. Samoa Joe is built like a tank. He isn’t the
most obvious looking world champ, but he’s stronger than anything, I can say
that much.
Danny Maff went over Slyk Wagner Brown with a
burning hammer, which is quite simply the most dangerous wrestling move I’ve
seen since Shane Helms’ Vertebreaker finisher. The guy taking it must be a man
of faith if he’s able to let his head plummet to the mat the way it does with
that move. I pity any man (or woman) who is fated to suffer that maneuver.
The 4-way between AJ Styles, “Fallen Angel”
Christopher Daniels, John Walters, and CM Punk was simply the reason why people
should check out indy shows. It wasn’t the greatest match I’ve seen any of
them in, but my WWE-obsessed friend walked away from the match with a newfound
appreciation for what a wrestling match can be. By the time the match started,
it was already after 11:00 pm, but those of us who came to see these four go at
it weren’t let down. The ending with the Styles Clash, followed by Daniels’
double springboard moonsault was awesome. It was definitely the match people
wanted to see, and for good reason.
As the show ended, and the clock was about to
strike midnight, I figured I’d seen about three good to great matches. And
when I go to any show, that’s all I can hope for. It wasn’t the greatest
show I’ve ever been to, and they would’ve been well advised to cut about 30
minutes off the show. But I still recommend Ring of Honor or Jersey All Pro for
anybody looking for an alternative to WWE. I met up with 1Wrestling writers Buck
Woodward, Mike Johnson, and Joe Mistretta. And there’s a reason we all go to
these things. Yes, for some of us it’s our job, but it’s a completely
different experience than WWE as you not only get usually twice the amount of
wrestling, but the interaction between wrestlers and the audience makes for a
unique experience no matter how you slice it.
So that does it for me this week. Last week I
asked you guys what your favorite moments of 2003 were. A lot of you said the
Brock Lesnar/Kurt Angle feud, specifically the iron man match. And just as many
of you disagreed with my choice to end the brand extension. And you all backed
up your case, too. You guys make me proud!
I’m open for discussion this week. Anything on
your mind? Got a topic you’d like to see written about? Want to discuss the
difference between “definitely” and “indefinitely”? Well what are you
waiting for?
Feedback should be sent to SKAJOE@aol.com.
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