SMACKDOWN GOES THROUGH 'THE WR
By: Michael LeBlanc
1/23/2004 1:42:00 PM
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I just about had the
laugh of my life the other night listening to the Internet/radio show Between the Ropes (with Brian Fritz, Dickerman & Vito).
They started making fun of Howard Dean’s concession speech after he had
lost the Iowa caucus, comparing it to a wrestling promo.
I was laughing so hard I was crying!
Great, great stuff – if you didn’t catch it, you can access the
archive at betweentheropes.com.
I knew as soon as I
heard about them, that those pre-show meetings WWE was holding would break down
within weeks. Very quickly
they’ve come down to Vince ranting and raving against the Evil Empire known as
the Internet, and critiquing matches like Mark
Henry’s!? How about
critiquing his eating habits? Or
teaching him how to be led to a good match?
And the Internet is breaking the illusion?
How about performers coming back from accidents that would kill
any normal person after a week or two? How
about nonsensical, illogical, written-by-the-company-owners writing?
Those things don’t break the illusion?
Right. I’ve come to
believe that Vince won’t believe his company is going down until the ratings
become non-existent, or someone in
that company grows some cojones and
tells him what’s what…and makes him
believe it!
Whew! Enough of that…let’s get to Smackdown!
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SMACKDOWN RUMBLES – JANUARY 23, 2004
Did anyone else see
the “Jarrett” sign in the crowd?
Since when do Puritans
go around beating each other up for entertainment?
Did Big Show imply
that if the winner of the Rumble is a Smackdown talent, he’d face the
Smackdown champion for the WWE Title? And
why the hell is Creative having him still wrestle in a neck brace?
Is it a small comfort
that A-Train shaved off some of his
hair?
Has Dawn Marie found
her niche?
Has Heyman become a
one-man PTC?
Does the phrase,
“coming back to fight” kind of sum up Bob Holly’s personal
character as well as his wrestling character?
Why would Heyman have
his special chair set up within reaching distance of the ring?
Why didn’t Brock
have cops accompanying him this week for enforcement of the restraining order?
And why wasn’t Holly arrested after his attack on Brock?
Shouldn’t the fans
decide what the number one career moment is for Billy Gunn…if any?
And how fitting is it that the number one moment ended up to be a fake
gay wedding?!
When JR said that the
Dudleys were “very familiar with Philadelphia”, how many of you had ECW
flashbacks?
Doesn’t playing any
sport involve emotions to some level?
Would UPN shown utter
stupidity if they hadn’t renewed Smackdown, their highest-rated show?
And how ironic is it that wrestling
helped saved them from utter obscurity?
FINAL NOTES:
I enjoyed Smackdown this week quite a bit.
I really liked the handicapped match, and the main event was good as
well. Again, it was all about the
pay-per-view, and they’ve managed to set up this one quite well. We’ll see if they can deliver!
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ROYAL RUMBLE PREDICTIONS – WRINGER STYLE
Rey Mysterio vs. Jaime Noble –
Mysterio retains the title when, in a shocking twist, Nidia reveals that she can
see, by thwarting Noble’s attempt to once again use her as a shield.
She leaves the arena with Mysterio, and the next night on Raw, tells the
world that she had been suffering from hysterical blindness, which cleared up
almost immediately. Testing
Noble’s love for her, she faked being blind, but could put up with his
despicable behavior no longer.
Dudley Boys vs. Ric Flair & Batista –
Flair & Batista win Randy Orton runs in and accidentally bumps Flair while
helping Batista deliver the fall through the table.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero –
In a stunning upset, Chavo gets the victory, when Kurt Angle (who accompanied
Eddie to ringside) would not run
in-ring interference on Eddie’s behalf, as Eddie wanted him to.
Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H –
Hunter retains the title, because, well, he just can’t manage to give it up,
even to his buddy Shawn.
Brock Lesnar vs. Bob Holly –
In another shocking development, Bob Holly becomes the WWE Champion.
Brock attempts to re-break Holly’s neck, but the move is reversed by
Holly, and he gets the pin. In a
not-too-surprising turn, Holly’s merchandise sales plummet, due to an
indifferent public, and Brock regains the title before WrestleMania.
Royal Rumble Match –
Kane is eliminated late in the match when the Undertaker makes a dramatic return
as the Dead Man and distracts Kane long enough to be thrown out.
The final three are Randy Orton, Chris Benoit and John Cena. Cena is eliminated by Benoit, and after heated back-and-forth
ring action, Benoit eliminates Orton, to set up Triple H vs. Benoit for Mania.
Post-match, Mick Foley (who had arrived just before the Rumble match
started, and had confrontations with Bischoff, and brief talks with Austin &
Michaels), is shown backstage, attempting to get to the ring to attack Orton,
but is halted and attacked by Flair & Batista.
You
can send all comments, praise, and hate mail to me at: ritingfool@cox.net.
Please include the word
“Raw”, “Smackdown” or “Wringer” in the subject line.
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