THE GONZO SHARK’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT

Posted July 6th, 2018 by Bill Apter

GONZO SHARK’S IMPACT Wrestling REPORT – JULY 5, 2018

Before the show begins we see a video package highlighting the events from last week.

This episode kicks off with Rich Swann dancing his way to the ring to take on Fenix. As always, we are welcomed by the commentary team of Josh Mathews and Don Callis. Fenix grabs his back and gets him down and Swann reverses to take the arm of his opponent. The two men trade off in ridiculous acrobatic displays as they try to upstage each other and trade holds. Swann misses a hurricanrana and Fenix misses a moonsault before the two men trade a few punches. They seem to realize each others skill and stare down before they fight to the outside. Swann hits a huge front flip off the ring onto Fenix and rolls him into the ring. Swann misses from the top and Fenix gets him to the outside. He performs a suicide dive over the top rope that completely wipes out Swann, seemingly at his own expense as well. He rolls Swann in and misses a moonsault from the top. He manages to to land on his feet and drops Swann with a cutter. As they attempt a few more acrobatic tricks they manage to wipe each other out with a double neckbreaker type of move. They begin to trade chops and slaps to the chest that culminates in them eventually trading devastating kicks. Swann hits a huge 450 splash that Fenix somehow kicks out of! That battle at the top rope and Fenix launches Swann across the ring with a hurricanrana and follows it up with an incredibly crippling Piledriver – but Swann amazingly kicks out at the last second! Rich gets back to his feet just in time to drop Fenix with a superkick as he’s running in and climbs to the top. This proves to be a huge error as Fenix manages to scoop him and flatten him with the Muscle Buster. He gets the 1-2-3 pinfall and both men are laid out in pain and exhaustion. All of a sudden the Crist Brothers come running into the ring out of nowhere and commence an assault on the two beaten and battered men. They try to rip the mask from Fenix’s face but Pentagon Jr. hits the ring at the last second to save his brother and his mask! Pentagon shockingly kicks Fenix in the crotch and flattens him with a Piledriver – the mask comes off and he reveals himself as Sami Calihan and OVE has pulled off a nice bit of trickery. The brothers hold Fenix down as Calihan rips the mask off Fenix’s face. The REAL Pentagon Jr. comes running down and OVE retreats from the ring, but that doesn’t stop Pentagon as he launches himself over the top rope and wipes out the entire faction on the floor!

–Fenix defeated Rich Swann by pinfall.

Tonight we will hear from Austin Aries, we will see a Knockout’s tag team match between the team of Allie and Madison Rayne against Su Yung and one of her Undead Bridesmaids! Also, TONIGHT we will see the debut of Killer Kross! We will also have a truly LARGER THAN LIFE Main Event as “The Monster” Kongo Kong will go one-on-one against “The Machine” Brian Cage!

We cut to Fallah Bahh in the back who hasn’t been around since he was attacked by Killer Kross a few weeks ago. KM comes up and apologizes and tells Bahh that he screwed up and he is committed to the team and he will prove it tonight. Killer Kross is shown somewhere else in the back preparing for his match by throwing elbows at the concrete wall! His debut is up next!

After returning from commercial, Allie and Madison are in the back for an interview and are asked how they can prepare for this match. Madison is unsure, but Allie has faced Yung before. Allie claims that she has faced the darkness that is Yung and it has brought out another part of her that is much more intense and passionate!

Fallah Bahh comes out with KM and he will face Killer Kross. Bahh immediately tris to mow over Kross with a shoulder block and it barely moves him. Bahh tries to chop him down but it’s obvious that Kross is just becoming more angry. Bahh charges him in the corner and he bursts out of there with a crushing clothesline! Bahh gets back up and Kross begins to challenge him to punch him in the face – and with every hit that Bahh connects with, Kross begins to laugh harder and become more intense! He grabs Bahh and drops him with a huge suplex as the rage boils in his eyes! He grabs Fallah and methodically synches in a rear-naked choke that renders Bahh unconscious! The referee runs from the ring in fear and Kross jumps on Bahh’s back and begins reigning elbows down on his head. KM tries to save his friend but Kross locks in that choke him. Petey Williams comes running down, grabs a steel chair and smashes Kross in the back! Another shot! And no effect again! He manages to throw the chair into the manic’s face he falls out of the ring. Kross walks away as if he’s plotting to completely obliterate Williams!

–KIller Kross defeated Fallah Bahh by submission.

We return from commercial and Jimmy Jacobs is in the back With Kongo Kong having an interview. He claims he is not a bad guy and he doesn’t lie, but assures us all that Brian Cage in the bad guy. He says maybe Cage is not machine but he’s actually a man. Kong sniffs the girl that was doing the interview before he walks off!

The Desi Hit Squad is in the back with their leader Gama Singh. He slaps them and tells them that they will win the tag titles and bring them back to their great nation of India – by any means necessary!

Su Yung makes her entrance with the Undead Bridesmaids and she chooses one to fight the match with her. Madison and Allie make their entrance and rush the ring and all four women start brawling in the ring. Allie and Rayne hit double Lou Thesz presses and start throwing down shots on Yung and her partner. Allie starts smashing the bridesmaid and drops her with a clothesline to russian leg sweep combo. With an assist from Yung on the apron, the bridesmaid regains control and hits a double team backbreaker and neckbreaker combo. Now that Yung has been tagged in she starts mauling Allie and locks her into a unique submission. Allie fights out of it and drops Yung and is able to make the tag. Yung tags out and Rayne drops the bridesmaid with a ripcord cutter. Allie has to dive to the outside to wipe out the entire party of bridesmaids after they began to insert themselves into the match behind the referee’s back. Yung goes for her finisher and knocks the ref down accidentally which allows Rayne to reverse and drop her with the Cross Rayne. She can’t make the pin because the ref is down and Tessa Blanchard runs down and completely destroys Rayne with punches! Allie comes in and tosses Blanchard out of the ring and then smashes her into the guardrail with extreme force. As all this chaos is going on outside the ring, Rayne hits a Cross Rayne on the Undead Bridesmaid for the pinfall victory.

–Allie and Madison Rayne defeated Su Yung and the Undead Bridesmaid by pinfall.

We cut to LAX in the back with King, who is talking a lot of trash about Konnan. He claims his loyalty hasn’t changed and Konnan definitely disrespected him. They try to tell him to chill out but he wants to see proof from Konnan of the previous accusations. He smashes his fist on the table and screams that “he’s taken Konnan’s spot” because everything evolves!

We see some more footage of Gama Singh training the Hit Squad in a very radical and ruthless way! He wants those Tag Team Championship belts! Sami Calihan and the Crist Brothers are going to have a six-man tag match against Pentagon, Fenix and Rich Swann next week. Calihan claims that he will take both masks next week and Rich Swann’s face!

Austin Aries has a video package where he talks about how wrestling was his destiny and it wasn’t Moose’s. He comes from a place where they told him everything to do… the NFL. Austin says Moose just isn’t on his level and he doesn’t care what Moose does because he will never match up to him mentally. He says that hopefully the XFL will need a shitty offensive linemen after he’s through with the big man!

We cut to Konnan on the phone and he claims that he is going to expose King tonight for the fraud that he is!

We see a video of Tommy Dreamer from after Eddie Edwards beat him with the kendo stick at the House of Hardcore. Dreamer is bloody and irate over Edward’s obsession with Sami Calihan. He stares into the camera and tell Edwards that he now has an obsession with him because nobody does what Eddie did to him on his own show! Josh Mathews then tells us that Dreamer will take on Edwards in a House of Hardcore match at Slammiversary!

Next week, DeAngelo Williams will return to IMPACT and have an update on his friend Moose.

Katarina makes her return to action and comes out with her boyfriend Moose to take on Rebel. The two quickly exchange holds but Katarina takes control with a leg scissor takeover. Rebel comes back with a faceplant slam and then an overhead type of slam.  She misses Katarina in the corner and succumbs to a tornado DDT. Katarina hits a nasty backbreaker out of nowhere shortly after for the pinfall victory.

–Katarina defeated Rebel by pinfall.

We see Brian Cage in the back curling an enormous piece of truss as he prepares to take on “The Monster” Kongo Kong! We come back from commercial and Katarina is in the back with Grado and she claims she has a surprise and he needs to close his eyes. The surprise is the Joe Hendry, and Grado seems curious as to how Katrina knows him.

Kongo Kong makes his entrance with “The Princess” Jimmy Jacobs. Brian Cages comes out next and he means business. Kong quickly knocks Cage down but he retaliates with a huge dropkick and a hurricanrana that sends Kong to the outside in retreat. “The Machine” then defies all laws of physics as the near-300 pounder performs a somersault front flip over the top rope onto Kong and completely wiped him out! Kong manages to land a huge belly-to-belly suplex back in the ring and he works Cage in to corner. Cage tries to pick him up in a Powerbomb but get dropped on his head with a hurricanrana. Back on the feet he manages to catch Kong in mid-air and deliver a huge powerslam. The two men exchange blows, but then Cage hits a 619 and a German Suplex. Kong is somehow able to smash Cage with a big headbutt and a gigantic chokeslam! The two fight in the corner and Cage manages to drop Kong with a superplex! He then hoists him up on his shoulder and delivers a vicious F-5 for the pinfall win!

–Brian Cage defeated Kongo Kong by pinfall.

Konnan comes out and the entire place starts chanting “LAX” frantically! He grabs a mic and calls out King. He gets in King’s face and tells him that he knows that he put a hit out on him. It pisses him off because he helped King when he was 8 years old and getting bullied. He also bailed him out of jail and helped him make his first 100,000 dollars – he gave him the nickname “King!” Konnan says that King lied about phone calls that he claimed to have made to him in the hospital. King freaks out and tells K-Dogg that he did put the hit out on him because his time is up! He tries to make Santana and Ortiz side with him and they flip him off! Homicide and Hernandez come running in from behind and completely ambush Konnan, Ortiz and Santana! King grabs the mic and tells everyone that if you come at him, you’d better not miss!

Category: Wrestling.

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