Posted July 14th, 2017 by 1Wrestling News Team

Feeling the Impact: A look at this week’s (Global) Impact Wrestling.

Joseph Park and Grado showed up to kick off the show with some comedy. They were driving a beat up old Volkswagon bug. Park was determined to keep Grado from getting deported.

LAX came out to the ring to introduce Alberto El Patron as their newest member. Alberto came out and confronted Konnan aka Carlos. El Patron let it be known he was NOT in LAX. Konnan got all nostlagic about how Alberto’s father and uncle were done wrong by gringo promoters, as well as how the Guerreros, Rey Mysterio and others were mistreated. When Alberto flatly refused to join LAX, he was attacked by the entire group. Bobby Lashley rushed down to make the save and then handed the World title belt to the champion.

ACH and Andrew Everett talked about the Super X Cup.

ACH vs Andrew Everett
Super X Cup, Opening Round Match

The Finish:

ACH Double Stomped Andrew’s back. Andrew bailed out to the floor but ACH hit a Suicide Dive to lay him out. Back in the ring, ACH nailed a Flip Clothesline after a Snap German. Andrew countered wiith a Pele Kick and Falcon Arrow. Andrew seemed to have it won with a Superkick but ACh came back to nail a Brainbuster to advance.

Your Winner: ACH
Impact Score: 2.75 out of a possible 5

Gail Kim has a special announcement to share. Jeremy Borash introduced the Knockout Pioneer. Gail thanked the fans as she mentioned her injury. She has decided to retire at the end of the year. And she is announcing it now?

Chris Adonis came out and got into it with some guys in the crowd. That led to a posedown. Ok.

Octagoncito vs Deimos

Yep, it is a minis match. Octagoncito sent Deimos sailing all around and then out to the floor. Octy hit a Corkscrew Plancha to the floor. Back in the ring, Deimos nailed a Pop Up Powerslam to earn a 2 count. Deimos followed it up with a Pop Up Spinebuster. Octy survived both moves and sent Deimos out to the floor. Springboard Moonsault by Octy. Octy sent Deimos back in the ring and spun his opponent around to pin Deimos.

Your Winer: Octagoncito
Impact Score: 2.5

Grado is in search of a bride to sray in the country. Suddenly, I think of Shemp Howard from the Brideless Groom. Just saying… Park has a plan to help Grado. Sigh.

Matt Sydal talked about his history with Impact.

Ethan Carter III came down to watch the next match.

Moose vs Naomichi Marufuji
Grand Championship Match

The Finish:

This was a pretty good match until Ethan Carter III rushed in and attacked the challenger with the ring bell. He also took out Moose.

Your Winner (by DQ): Marufuji
Impact Score: 2.0

Moose used a Bicycle Kick to send EC3 sailing out of the ring.

We are off to the LAX clubhouse. Konnan wants Street Justice for the traitor, Alberto, and his buddy, Lashley.

After a break, Trevor Lee came out to discuss being the X-Division Champion. He scoured the world to find his opponent tonight, William Weeks.

Trevor Lee vs William Weeks

Sonjay Dutt had to be restrained, backstage. Lee just brutalized Weeks before using the Jumping Double Stomp to end this massacre.

Your Winner: Trevor Lee
Impact Score: 1.5

Dutt finally got free from security and rushed the ring. He beat on Lee until Trevor ran away.

Eva Stone vs Laurel van Ness

The Finish:

The fight went to the floor and Laurel surprised Eva with a Draping DDT as they headed back in the ring. Laurel ran around like she was demented but stopped long enough to deliver the Curb Stomp.

Your Winner: Laurel van Ness
Impact Score: 1.0

Grado aka Graeme rushed out and wooed the crazed Knockout, Laurel. He talked all knids of sweet nothings to the jilted bride until Kongo Kong came from the back. Grado and Park headed for safer territory.

Bobby Lashley and Alberto El Patron vs Ortiz and Santana (LAX)
World Tag Team Non-Title Match

The Finish:

Alberto hit Step Up Enziguris to both opponents. Lungblower to Santana. Santana was placed in the Sullivan Tree of Woe. Ortiz was double teamed and neutralized. Santana was then put down with a Double Stomp/Neckbreaker Combo.

Your Winners: Alberto El Patron and Bobby Lashley
Impact Score: 3.0

After the match, it was all hugs and handshakes for the victorious duo. Lashley headed up the ramp as LAX jumped Alberto. They decimated Alberto as Lashley just watched and shrugged.

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