FEELING THE IMPACT — COMPLETE IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT

Posted May 25th, 2017 by 1Wrestling News Team

Feeling the Impact: A look at this week’s Impact Wrestling

Hosted by: Jay and Lottie Shannon

This week featured a Triple Threat between “Cowboy” James Storm, Ethan Carter III and Magnus.

We started with a flashback package that set up this week. Ethan attacked Bruce Prichard, after Bruce told EC3 to go find his (Carter’s) b*lls.

Roll the amazing updated opening montage.

Bruce Prichard came out with Tyrus. Bruce was holding his ribs. Bruce explained he was an official for Impact Wrestling. Bruce has hired Tyrus for personal protection. EC3 is now under review and future action will be taken. Bruce then brought out Bobby Lashley.

Lashley came out to help figure out who is the top champion. Bobby mentioned about being the most dominant wrestler in the business. Bobby dissed everyone coming after him. Bobby wanted to know who he would get to beat up at Slammiversary.

Ethan Carter III crashed the party. Ethan had the stick. Ethan made fun of Bruce. Ethan had spoilers to share: He becomes the number one contender and then becomes the next World Champion. Magnus then arrived to share his feelings. Magnus reminded Lashley that they have never faced each other. Magnus then told Ethan to shut up for a few minutes. Magnus went off on Bruce for taking his “Golden Ticket” (GFW Belt) away from him.

Magnus was quieted by the emergence of James Storm. Storm told Lashley to hush and get out the way so the three men could fight. Bruce stopped the violence. The winner of tonight’s match will get Lashley at Slammiversary. Bruce made it a No DQ Match. Bruce warned that if one of the three men struck one of the others, before the official match started, that man would be suspended indefinitely. Off to commercials.

Ethan stated that a Triple Threat was named after him. He knew this was his destiny.

Josh Mathews will reveal his tag partner, later tonight. Grin. (Lottie smacks Jay’s fingers so he doesn’t spoil the surprise).

KM and Kongo Kong (w/Laurel and Sienna) vs Mahabali Shera and Braxton Sutter (w/Allie)

Highlights:

Lottie can’t help but giggle every time she sees Laurel and her ridiculous make-up. I had to explain her to Lot (since she didn’t watch Impact when Laurel had her breakdown). 2 weeks from tonight, Impact will broadcast from India.

Braxton and Kong kicked off this match. Sienna had to calm Laurel down. Braxton ducked and dodged the Islander. Kong popped Sutter as Laurel distracted Braxton. Braxton came back with wild punches and chops. Shera came in and kicked away. Kong blocked a Slam. Kong then nailed the Scoop Slam. KM forced the tag and told Kong to get out. Scoop Slam by Shera. Laurel flirted with Shera. KM jumped Shera from behind. Open Hand Chop and kicks by KM.

Kong took the tag and slapped the fire out of Shera. Knee Strike and Headbutt rocked Shera. Uppercut but Shera would not go down. KM tagged himself back in and hit a nice Suplex. 2 count. Shera punched away but KM dropped the Indian.

Tag by Kong. Double Chops and Snap Mare. Kabuki Klutch by Kong. Rolling Belly to Belly by Kong. Running Senton by Kong. KM made himself legal and hit an Elbow Drop. 2 count only. KM kicked and punched away. Shera tried to fight back but a wild Knee Strike slowed Shera down. Impact headed to break.

Kong pounded Shera ala Missing Lunk style. Sutter got the Hot Tag and Slammed KM. Pump Kick by Braxton led to a Jumping Neckbreaker. Shera took the tag and KM was sent into the ropes with a Double Whip. Double Clothesline by Kong. Kong was sent out to the floor. He dragged Sutter out with him. The two punched away. Laurel kissed Shera. KM nailed a wild shot on Shera. Allie was chased into the ring. Crossbody dropped both Laurel and Sienna. Kong used a huge Headbutt to knock out Shera. KM then rolled up Shera for the win.

Your Winners: KM and Kongo Kong
Impact Score: 2.5 out of a possible 5

The fight went all the way up the ramp and into the back. Sienna and Laurel decided to double team Allie. This was ridiculous to watch. The dastardly duo beat the stuffing out of Allie. That stopped when Rosemary showed up. Who was she there to face? Rosemary took her time and then attacked Sienna with The Mist! Rosie then hit Red Wedding on Laurel. Clothesline to the blinded Sienna. Rosemary then stared at Allie. Rosemary slowly walked close to Allie but didn’t hurt her. What the heck was that? Break time.

Fallah and Mario vs Mayweather and Wilcox (Veterans of War)
Tag Tournament Semi-Finals Match

Highlights:

If you happen to be asking yourself if Mayweather used to work in Impact before, he did (as Crimson). Wilcox tossed Mario across the ring. Double Team by VoW. Mayweather was legal, now. Falcon Arrow by Mayweather to pull a two count. Back Elbows by Maywesther and Wilcox tagged in. Maro escaped a Slam and dove for his corner. He didn’t make it. Exploder by Mayweather. Fallah made the save.

Double Thrust to Mayweather’s throat. Fallah made the tag. Double Thrust by Mayweather. Corner Splash by Fallah led to a Samoan Drop. Fallah looks like he could be related to Yokozuna and the other members of the Anoi’a family.

Mario tagged back in and dropped Mayweather. 1-2-no. Fallah came back in. Leg Drop as Mario held the leg. Pope noticed the Yokozuna look alikeness. Palm Strikes by Fallah. Mayweather avoided a Corner Splash. Tag to Wilcox. Mario took the tag, as well. Wilcox with a huge Clothesline (that honestly missed but Mario sold it). Overhead Throw by Wilcox Fallah tagged in and attacked. Fallah went outside and Maywether hit a huge Dropkick. Tag to Mayweather. M-O-A-B by V.o.W.

That will set V.o.W. vs L.A.X. in the finals, next week.

Your Winners: Veterans of War
Impact Score: 3.25

Josh Mathews was on his way out to announce his tag partner for the match at Slammiversary.

Magnus was interviewed, backstage. He was asked for his strategy. “Forget Bruce Prichard and focus on the match”. Magnus felt he was the most cerebral and that would help him win.

Josh came out to a new graphic and weird music. JB was ready for this. The fans gave Josh Hell and wanted to see him get the Hell out of there. “Josh, You Suck!” rang out. Josh talked about the 15th anniversary of Slammiversary. “J.B.’s Better!” broke out. Josh asked JB to join him in the ring. This might not be a good thing.The fans chanted for JB to shut Josh up. Josh said he apologized to Penzar and Tenay and Shark Boy. Josh said he actually loved Jim Ross. Josh admitted he was a Vice President of Impact Wrestling. “Waste of Money” was the next chant. Josh’s voice cracked as he apologized and admitted that he was jealous of Borash. “He’s a Liar” grew from the fans. Josh offered his hand but JB wasn’t quite sure if it was legit. He was stopped by Joseph Park coming from the back. Please tell be we are NOT going to see Park vs Abyss! “Be my Lawyer” was the next chant. Park told JB not to shake Josh’s hand. Park talked about the history between Josh and Jeremy. Park reminded Josh that JB put Josh on his *ss. Josh said he wanted both men out of his life. JB demanded to know who the partner was going to be. Josh would not say who it was. Josh then exploded on Park. Joseph was ready to fight. Park asked JB to get out of the ring.

Joseph Park vs Josh Mathews

Holy Crap! Scott Steiner showed up as Josh’s Partner! Honestly, Lottie and I had a heads up, weeks ago, from our buddy, Luster the Legend. Park took off like a scared rabbit. Steiner tore up the barricade and headed after Park. Scott took out a fan. That’s just wrong. Josh caught Park with a Low blow and called for Scott to take out Park. Steiner Recliner! Scott went after JB but Borash was protected by the fans. Josh made it official: Scott Steiner and Josh Mathews vs Joseph Park and Jeremy Borash at Slammiversary.

Josh was now at the announce desk. Josh asked for the video to air, again.

We then went to a profile video of Moose and the Grand Championship. Moose wants to hold the title all the way to Slammiversary.

E-Li Drake was asked about his actions towards Moose. Drake said he was misunderstood. Drake was ready to “make a noise”. Moose tried to attack but security held him back. Drake wanted a title shot, next week. Moose gave him what he wanted. Chris Adonis joined the fight and it was a double team.

Davey Richards and Angelina Love-Richards vs Eddie aand Alisha Edwards
Mixed Tag Team Match

Highlights:

The fight started before the bell. They went fast and furious on the floor. The Edwards Family took an early advantage. Eddie banged Davey’s head on the apron. The men got in the ring and punched it out. Danielson Kick by Davey. Davey tore at Eddie’s face. Davey was sent to the outside and Eddie hit the Suicide Dive. Knife Edge Chops by Eddie. Alisha went in the ring. Angelina tore into Eddie’s eyes. Alisha headed up top and flew out to the floor! Quick Break.

Alisha chopped Davey as Impact returned. Eddie was holding Davey, at the time. Angelina popped Eddie in the back. Davey went to work on Eddie’s bad knee with multiple Dragon Screw Leg Whips. Figure Four by Davey. Angelina pulled on her hubby’s hands to increase the pain and pressure.

The women screamed at their men to keep going. Eddie spun over to reverse the Figure Four. Davey yelled at the crowd. Eddie hit a Clothesline. Angelina yanked Alisha off the arpon. Josh sent out Impact’s best to those in Machester. We do, as well.

Overhead Belly to Belly by Eddie. Davey crashed into the corner The women got tags and the Cat Fight was on!. Alisha missed a Top Rope Crossbody. Alisha dodged the Botox Injection and rolled up Angelina to PIN Love-Richards!

Your Winner: Eddie and Alisha Edwards
Impact Score: 3.0

The Richardsed jumped Eddie and Alisha. Eddie was handcuffed to the bottom rope. Davey was sent out to find a table. Davey forced Eddie to watch as Angelina Powerbombed Alisha through the table!

Rock Star Spud cut another video message. Spud needed one more week to rehab before coming after ‘Swoggle. Spud told his mum to Kayfabe it. Reminds me so much of Jay’s best friend, Darren Antola. Grin.

Magnus vs Ethan Carter III vs “Cowboy” James Storm
Triple Threat Match to determine the Number One Contender to the Impact World Title (No Disqualification Rules)

Highlights:

All three men stared at each other. Ethan bailed out to avoid Storm. Hockey Fight between Storm and Carter. Magnus tried to jump Storm but failed. Thesz Press by Storm. Calf Wrangler by Storm to Magnus.

Clothesline to EC3. Uppercut by Storm to Magnus. Ethan was sent off the apron. Magnus attacked. Ribs shot by Storm. Storm was sent over the ropes. Storm bashed Ethan in the face with a questionable liquid. Storm wth a Skillet Slap to Ethan’s chest.

Ethan’s chest was blood red. Storm wanted a Suplex but Magnus stopped it. Double Suplex to Storm, on the ramp, to send us to another break.

Ethan punched away on Storm and hit a Knife Edge Chop. No more commercials from this point on. Chairs sailed into the ring, thanks to Magnus. Ethan choked Storm on the ropes and Magnus drove a chair into the ribs. Ethan wedged a chair in the corner and found a kendo stick. He shared it with Magnus to wear out Storm. Ethan accidentally hit Magnus with the Singapore Cane. Ethan held Storm and Magnus cracked Ethan with the stick. Near Fall for Magnus on Storm. Double Clotheslines by Magnus and Ethan. Magnus rolled out to the floor.

Storm and Ethan tore into each other. Enziguri by Storm to Ethan. DDT Neckbreaker to Ethan and Magnus. 2 counts. Storm got a steel chair and wore out both foes. Storm got a trash can and placed it in the crotch of Magnus. He used a chair to drive the can into Magnus’ nethers.

TK3 to Storm. 2 count only. Stinger Splash failed Ethan. Magnus put Ethan on the top. Hangman’s DDT by Storm, on the apron, to EC3. Double Leg and Magnus cinched in the Cloverleaf! Ethan made the save. 1%er to Magnus to pull the deuce.

Code Breaker to Ethan! A chair was involved in that move. Magnus stopped Storm, up top. Magnus fell into the Sullivan Tree of Woe but he came back to throw Ethan and Storm. Magnus went up top but Ethan prevented the Savage Elbow. Front Drop Suplex to Ethan. Storm sent Ethan into the chair. Savage Elbow. 1-2-Kick Out! Storm escaped a Fireman’s Carry. Last Call. Ethan sent Storm out of the ring and picked the bones to earn his spot at Slammiversary!

Your Winner: Ethan Carter III
Impact Score: 4.5

Just a reminder, we will be taking next week off—due to Lottie’s surgery. We want to thank each and every one of you that have sent your good wishes.

Peace and Love

–Jay and Lottie Shannon
JayCShannon@gmail.com

Category: Wrestling.

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