FEELING THE IMPACT — COMPLETE IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT (WRITTEN)

Posted May 5th, 2017 by Bill Apter

Feeling the Impact
by Jay and Lottie Shannon

It was a night of Champions…Global Force Champions, that is.

We opened with a review of the Suspension of Jeremy Borash. We then saw the debut of Matt Sydal. Other highlights from last week’s show also aired.

We want to sned out our heartiest congratulations to our dear friend, Luster the Legend (of Reno SCUM). Luster just welcomed the newest member to his family, a baby boy named Mason, on Thursday morning. Mother and son are doing well and the SCUMNation has another member. OI!

Roll the opening montage!

Matt Sydal vs Eddie Edwards

The Finish:

This was one of the strongest opening matches that we have seen on any program, ever! Alisha Edwards was at her man’s side.

Sydal kicked out of a pin. Both men left it all in the ring, on this night. Eddie wanted a Pedigree but Matt blocked it. Code Breaker by Eddie. Matt reversed a Powerbomb into a Rana. 1-2-Kick Out! Josh couldn’t shut up berating Jeremy Borash. Eddie countered a Rana by slipping down the ropes. Jumping Knee Strike by Matt. Sydal nailed the Shooting Star Press to claim victory!

Your Winner: Matt Sydal
Impact Score: 4.5 out of a possible 5

After the match, Matt and Eddie showed massive respect to each other. Matt then left the ring. Angelina Love and Davey Richards did the Pearl Harbor on the Edwardses. Davey did his best to break Eddie’s leg by draping the leg over the barricade and hitting it with a steel chair.Alisha flew off the stage to drop the Richardses. We smell a serious Catfight coming!

Magnus was interviewed by MacKenzie. Magnus bragged about coming in and winning the 8 Man. Magnus knew he had to face Alberto El Patron. Matt Morgan arrived to get up in Magnus’ face. Bruce Prichard rushed in to keep them from tearing each other apart. Bruce ordered Magnus to defend the GFW World Title against Morgan, tongiht.

KM did another bully vignette. I keep waiting for Kelly LeBrock to show up and put him in his place.

Sienna vs Christina Von Eerie
GFW Women’s Championship Match

David Penzar is the new ring announcer, since Rock Star Spud was injured by ‘Swoggle, last week.

KM was at ringside. Sienna hit a High and Tight Suplex, at the bell. Sienna choked Christina on the ropes. 2 count. Sienna clubbed the champion and sent her into the corner. Trip and Broski Boot by Christina. Big Boot by Sienna. 2 count, again. Cravat by Sienna. Knife Edges and a Headbutt by Christina. Sienna dumped the champion to the floor with a modified Samoan Drop.

Sienna went off on Christina with her own chops. Christina kicked Sienna into her cousin. Von Eerie slammed SIenna into the apron. Von Eerie wanted a Pedigree but Sienna converted it into a Back Drop. 2 count as Sienna rolled the champ back in the ring. Von Eerie put on a Sleeper but Sienna Back Ran Von Eerie into the Corner. Sienna hit the Silencer to claim the gold.

Your Winner (and NEW Global Force Women’s Champion): Sienna
Impact Score: 2.0

E-Li Drake came up to introduced himself to Bruce Prichard. Drake was irritated that he was being passed over. Drake wanted to confront Alberto El Patron. Bruce told him to just turn around. Alberto said he would put his title shot, on the line, against Drake. Bruce loved the idea and made the match. Drake smirked as we cut to a Make Impact Great video package with ODB.

Jeremy Borash was in the crowd, taunting Josh Mathews with signs. It really got on Josh’s nerves.

MacKenzie was back to talk with Karen Jarrett. Karen announced that Alisha Edwards would debut, in the ring, against Angelina Love, next week. Sienna came in to aggravate “Mrs. Jarrett”. Karen told Sienna that the new champion has a huge target on her back. Sienna didn’t seem all that concerned.

Ethan Carter III vs John Bollin

Ethan pushed and kicked John. EC3 stomped away, in the corner. Ethan then clubbed the back and Ran the Laces. Ethan choked John in the ropes. Vicious Crossface by Carter. A flying Knee Strike sent John sailing out of the ring. John tried to fight back but Ethan bounced John’s head on the apron, over and over. Ethan paused and then hit a Stinger Splash. TK3! Million Dollar Knee Lift. 1%er!

Your Winner: Ethan Carter III
Impact Score: 2.0

Ethan went off, on the microphone, against the New Regime. Ethan was certain that he was headed to Slammiversary to become the NEW World Champion.

JB was back to tick off Josh. Josh was thrown completely off his game byJB and the signs. “Free JB” rang out.

Matt Morgan vs Magnus
GFW World Title Match

The Finish:

Magnus focused on Matt’s knee. Morgan was in bad shape. Cloverleaf was blocked. Magnus returned to kick the injured knee and then drop his own knee on Matt’s. Matt punched away but Magnus applied a Figure Four. Matt would not give up. Matt rolled over to reverse the pain. Magnus got the ropes to force a break. Matt kicked out of another Figure Four. Matt punched the ribs. Clotheslines and Back Elbows by Matt. Machine Gun Back Elbows by Matt. Corner Splash and Sidewalk Slam by Matt. Goozle but Magnus kicked the knee to escape. Matt caught a flying Magnus and Chokeslammed him. 1-2-foot on the rope. Matt was so frustrated, at this point. Carbon Footpprint but Matt couldn’t follow up. Magnus rolled out to the floor. Magnus got hte title belt but the ref stopped him from using it. Low Blow and Michinoku Driver. Savage Elbow by Magnus to retain his title.

Your Winner: Magnus
Impact Score: 3.0

Bobby Lashley was interviewed. Lashley ran down the contenders that have already failed. Bobby headed to training.

Josh kept whining about JB being at ringside.

Impact went to an LAX video package.

James Storm did a Make Impact Great, Again video.

We saw an upgrade on Rock Star Spud.Spud is now in a wheelchair due to a destroyed knee. He’s also wearing a neck brace. Spud stared at a photo of Swoggle, the man who injured him.

Kongo Kong vs William Weeks

Laurel was with the big Islander. She looked so pathetic with the smeared makeup. Laurel flirted with Weeks, who pushed her away. She freaked out and ordered Kong to kill. Headbutts by Kong. Weeks was thrown into the corner and Kong stomped away. Straight fist to Weeks. Corner Splash. Running Clothesline by Kong. Laurel got in the ring but didn’t do anything. Chokeslam Backbreaker by Kong. Kong pulled up his victim. Another Chokeslam Backbreaker. Laurel called for a third one and she got it. Kong Fishhookedd Weeks and pulled the poor kid to the corner. Kong Splash! Laurel wanted more damage. Kong positioned Weeks and headed up top. Frog Splash! Count to 100, this is over.

Your Winner: Kongo Kong
Impact Score: 2.0

The celebration was cut short by the arrival of Braxton Sutter and Allie. Sutter took the fight to Kong and rocked the big man with hard Chops. Sutter used a La Bandera to send Kong over the ropes. Laurel stopped her man and shrieked “Not Now!”

E-Li Drake did his Make Impact Great video.

Sonjay Dutt talked about his eye injury. He wasn’t sure if it was an accident or intentional. Low Ki said it was a harsh environment to work in. Low Ki said Dutt was always a bridesmaid and never the bride. Dutt has NEVER held the X-Title. Low Ki felt Dutt didn’t have what it takes to become X-Champion.

E-Li Drake vs Alberto El Patron
Number One Contender Match

Tyrus was at Drake’s side. The winner of this match will get Magnus, next week.

The FInish:

Drake definitely showed well in this one. The figh went all over the ringside area. El Patron kicked away at Drake. High Back Elbow by E-Li. Drake caught Alberto with a Back Drop Suplex, on the ring apron. Drake choked Alberto after spitting water on El Patron.

Back in the ring, Drake took a Side Headlock. Drake put El Patron up top and punched away. Cross Armbreaker, in the ropes, by Alberto. Drake hit a Flying Neckbreaker to pull a deuce. Drake choked Alberto on the bottom rope. Leg Drop by Drake. 2 count yet again.

Drake focused on the neck. El Patron dropped back to stun Drake. Alberto missed the Skidmark. Drake jumped off the apron to attack the neck of his opponent.

They got back in the ring and Alberto reversed a hard Whip. Step Up Enziguri by Alberto. The two slugged it out. Drake used a Knee Strike to gain the advantage. Clotheslines by Alberto. Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker to give Alberto a two. Drake dodged the Superkick and hit a Reverse TKO. 2 count. Flying Arm Bar by Alberto, followed by a Superkick. Could be…might be…Denied! Alberto was somewhat frustratedd by things. Drake reversed the Cross Armbreaker and hit a Spinning Under Slam. Drake put Alberto on the top rope and punched away. Alberto punched out of the Superplex and Drake fell into the Sullivan Tree of Woe. Drake pitched El Patron off the ropes. Drake hit a Springboard Moonsault to get another two count. Alberto countered the Celtic Cross. Cross Armbreaker but Drake blocked at least part of it. Drake busted Alberto in the mouth. Drake missed a Corner Rush. Double Stomp by El Patron to finish this one off.

Your Winner: Alberto El Patron
Impact Score: 4.0

Peace and Love

–Jay and Lottie Shannon
JayCShannon@Gmail.com

Category: Wrestling.

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