Posted April 27th, 2017 by Bill Apter

Feeling the Impact
by Jay and Lottie Shannon

The show opened with a flashback package of all the action from last week.

Roll the Opening Montage.

Josh Mathews came out with representatives of Impact Wrestling. Jeremy Borash was suspended for attacking Josh, last week. Josh compared JB to JBL. This was just absurd.

Trevor Lee (w/G.S. Helms)vs Matt Sydal

The Finish:

Lee was in control for much of the match. Spinning Kick and Standing Moonsault but Helms dtracted the ref. Matt got in Helms’ face. Enziguri by Sydal. Jumping Knee Strike led to the Shooting Star Press!

Your Winner: Matt Sydal
Impact Score: 3.5 out of a possible 5

Sienna confronted Karen Jarrett. Sienna wanted to see the GFW Women;s Champion, if there really was one. Karen said Sienna would see her shortly…and face her, next week.

Ethan Carter III came out to explain his actions. He rambled on about carrying the company for the past 3 years. Eventually, James Storm came out to deal with the man that cost him the World title. Storm had no problem with what Ethan did, since Storm understood that EC3 was simply jealous of him. It broke down into a fight that went nowhere.

KM was showcased in a vignette where he bullied a waiter. KM did his best impression of the older brother from Weird Science. Jeez.

Impact ran a promo package for Christina von Eerie. She’s an old acquaintance that I’ve known for about 6 years. She is also from Reno.

Christina von Eerie vs Ava
GFW Women’s Title Match

The Finish:

von Eerie took Ava to the corner. She then hit a wicked Cross Tie Lung Blower to retain.

Your Winner: Christina von Eerie
Impact Score: 1.75

Low Ki cut a promo about taking the X-Dvision to the next level.

Eddie Edwards and the destruction of The Wolves was highlighted.

Alberto El Patron was interviewed. He knew he was next in line for the Impact World title. Magnus came in and said his GFW title was the Golden Ticket. The two grumbled at each other. Karen Jarrett came in to solve this one. Karen stated that, in two weeks, Alberto will go against Magnus for the GFW title.

Impact ran apackage about Moose. He walked away from football to become a wrestler.

Moose vs Davey Richards (wAngelina Love)
Grand Championship Title Match

Round One:

Moose came out with a few of his football buddies. They were there to watch Moose’s back. Impact took a quick break before the match got rolling.

Davey kicked the hamstrings but it had little effect. Knife Edge by Moose took Davey down. Hard Whip but Davey moved to avoid Moose’s charge. Moose went up the ropes but Davey Superkicked the backs of the knees. Dragon Screw Leg Whip, in the ropes, by Davey. Richards got all passionate with his wife. Leg Lock Slam by Davey. Moose kicked Davey away. Knife Edge by Moose. Low Dropkick to Moose’s knee. Figure Four by Davey! Moose refused to surrender but was seriously hurting. The time ran out, whcih saved him.

Round One Goes to Davey Richards

Round Two:

Davey watched and then jumped Moose. He stomped away, in the corner. Davey went up top and yelled at the Gridiron Guys. Pop Up Powerbomb and Senton by Moose. Davey barely kicked out. Angelina was losing her cool at ringside.

Knife Edgs by Moose. Spin Kick by Davey that was questionably low. Moose reversed a Whip. Spingboard Back Elbow was blocked. Moose put down Davey but couldn’t make the final pin. Time was running town. Moose missed the Game Changer. Chops and Kicks from both sides. Both men were down and stunned.

Round Two went to Moose

Round Three:

Moose limped towards Davey. He Dropkicked Davey off the ropes and Richards hit the floor. Angelina checked on her hubby. Rope Shoulder by Davey. Moose smacked Davey on the ropes. Moose climbed up and prepared for a Superplex. Davey punched like mad to avoid the move. Davey hit a RollingPowerbomb but Davey couldn’t make the pin. Creeping Death Kick by Davey. Primal Howl by the Lone Wolf. Double Stomp. 1-2-Kick Out! Ankle Lock by Davey! Eddie Edwards ran down and attacked Davey! Security took out Eddie The match was thrown out!

Your Winner: No Winner
Impact Score: 3.0

Davey backed into the football guys. Davey pushed one of them and got put on his butt for his trouble. Davey rushed and the other dude Scoop Slammed him. Gary and D’Angelo, the football players, really embarrassed Davey. Moose kept the belt since the match was tossed out.

‘Swoggle came out to hassle Rock Star Spud. ‘Swoggle stole Spud’s notes and Spud took the small guys’ pants.

Matt Sigmund vs Kongo Kong (w/Laurel, Sienna and KM)

Welcome back to the era of Squash Matches. Sigmund bailed out as the fans complained that “Josh is Boring”. Kong jumped Sigmund on the floor. Matt tried a few pathetic moves but took a vidiious Dropkick to the face. Corner Splash by Kong. Matt punched away and hit a Jawbreaker. That seemed to amuse Kong. Kong caught Sigmund and planted the guy with a Spinning Slam. Kong Krusher (Rolling Cannonball). Kong headed up top and nailed a Frog Splash.

Your Winner: Kongo Kong
Impact Score: 1.5

Fallah Bahh and Mario Bokara vs Veterans of War (Wilcox and Mayweather fka Crimson)


Mayweather is just covred in ink. VoW are seriously ripped. Mayweather stalked his foe. Tie Up and Mayweather threw Mario across the ring. Fallah tagged in as did Wilcox. Wilcox lifted Fallah for a Samoan Drop, which was darn impressive. Ping Pong by VoW to Fallah. Tag back to Mayweather. Huge USA chant. Total Elimination by VoW but Mario made the save. Headbutt by Fallah. Mario reluctantly took the tag. Double Suplex to Mayweather but Mayweather No Sold It. Mario fell to an Inverted Magic Killer.

Your Winners: Veterans of War
Impact Score: 2.0

The tag division is really at top speed, now. The VoW had something to say. Mayweather took the stick and intrduced himself and Wilcox. Mayweather said the team name was a way of life, not just a gimmick. Both men had served in the military and saw combat. Mayweather said they served because it was what they felt they should do. Mayweather thanked the US Military for giving them the chance to serve. Mayweather put it out there that they have their sights set on the tag titles.

Swoggle attacked Spud, during the break, with a hammer. That was just stupid. The midget tried to attack security, as well. Swoggle got seriously booed out of the building.

Backstage, E-Li Drake rambled to Tyrus about being left off last week’s live show. Drake was ticked off that all these new guys were pushing them out. Tyrus knew Drake was jealous. E-Li corrected him that he just didn’t want to be ignored. He headed out to do something about it.

Decay vs LAX
Street Fight for the Tag Team Titles


All Hell broke loose as the bell rang. Santana took the fight to Abyss with Knife Edges. He ended up dumped over the top. Steve went wild on Ortiz with Corner Clotheslines. Steve decked Ortiz with a Running Clotheline. Superkick by Santana to Abyss, on the floor. Satana and Steve traded Knife Edges. Ortiz hit an Inverted Overhead Slam. Double Team on Abyss failed. Steve and Abyss went looking for “toys”. Steve found a table and Abyss got the barbed wire board. Break time.

Steve threw Ortiz into Abyss. Homicide got involved to prevent Abyss sending his associate through a table. Ortiz drove a chair into Abyss’ throat. Steve stopped him but ended up sent hard into the corner. Ortiz bashed Steve and Abyss with a trash can. Santana grabbed the chair and choked Abyss.

Ortiz waffled Steve with a can lid and then choked him with a kendo stick. Ortiz bashed both challengers with the Singapore Cane. Someone found the Black Bag o’ Doom. Abyss pulled LAX off Steve and the Crazzy One flew onto the champs.

Abyss choked Santana with the kendo stick. Steve wedged a can in the corner. Steve punched Ortiz but ended up flipped to the floor. Abyss threw a chair into Ortiz’s face. Damn. Rosemary went to Mist Ortiz but Abyss was hit. Abyss was sent through the Barbed wire board. Sandwich Street Sweeper. Steve came back with a Corner DVD. 1-2-Konnan pulled the ref out. Steve got the bag of thumbtacks and showered them down onto Ortiz, who was on a table. Steve threw the can out of the way and went up top. Homiide and Santana attacked Steve. LAX Dual Blo:ckbuster to put Steve through the tack-laden table!

Your Winners: L-A-X
Impact Score: 3.25

Peace and Love

–Jay and Lottie Shannon

Category: Wrestling.

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