Feeling the Impact with Jay and Lottie Shannon
Impact had another week of new faces showing up. Plus, we have a new World champion and new Tag Team Champions…maybe.
Impact kicked off the evening with a typical flashback to all the chaos from last week. Alberto Ell Patron (formerly Alberto Del Rio in WWE) showed up, challenged Bobby Lashley and used some questionable tactics to take the strap.
On to live action and things just got more bizarre. Alberto came out to the ring and stated he gave up the Impact World title because he did not want to win it, that way. Seriously? Was that a slight jab at WWE and their Raw Women’s title? Alberto wanted to fight Lashley, again, to prove he did deserve to hold the belt. Instead, he got Ethan Carter III. Ethan felt it was noble of Alberto to forfeit the strap but El Patron really should have to earn his title shot. Ethan suggests that since he is the number one contender, Alberto should fight him, tonight, to see who will get the shot at Lashley. Alberto smiled and pinched Ethan’s cheek. He reminded Ethan that the fans, not Ethan, make the rules and matches. The fans were solidly behind El Patron. Alberto promised that Ethan would get a title shot, but not right now.
Ethan begins to insult Alberto, suggesting that he has no Cajones (b*lls). That started a cant of “No Cajones” from the crowd. The calm exterior of El Patron semed to crack, just a little. El Patron stated “I came here to fight the Big Dog, not the little B*tch”. Ethan puts his hands in Alberto’s face and the fight was on. Alberto just beat the stuffing out of Ethan until EC3 bailed out and headed up the ramp. Security had to rush out to prevent Alberto from finishing off Ethan. A match was made for later tonight: Alberto El Patron vs Ethan Carter III.
Eddie Edwards cut a promo about how he was going to help “Make Impact Great Again”. (sounds like something Bob Backlund would say).
We headed to the management office, where Dutch Mantel, Bruce Prichard, and others were trying to figure out the tag team situation. Pat Kenney knew Decay claimed that they had beaten the Hardys and Impact should just accept that. The others, in management, didn’t like that idea. After some bickering, Bruce Prichard told everyone that he knew how to fix this and bolted out of the room.
Impact ran a video about the strained relationship between Tyrus and E-Li Drake. That took us to the first match of the night.
E-Li Drake and Tyrus vs Laredo Kid and Garza Junior
Apparently, Kid and Garza Jr. came from the Tijuana promotion where the Harrdys won (and the left with) the tag belts.
Garza got a hot tag but is quickly extinguishd by Drake. Drake then dropped Laredo with a modified Celtic Cross. Drake ordered Tyrus to join him in the ring but Tyrus was still dazed. In the meantime, Garza rolled up Drake to take the win.
Your Winners: Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid
Impact Rating: 2.0 out of a possible 5
Drake and Tyrus are about to go at it but we cut to the announcers, so Borash and Mathews can grumble at each other. Jeremy talked about the new working relationship with Pro Wrestling NOAH He mentioned that Edwards, James Storm and Moose working there, recently. I guess Storm and Edwards forgot to tell Moose which flight to catch, since they were here, last week, but Moose wasn’t.
Brandi Rhodes vs Kayci Quinn
Cody (don’t call me Rhodes) came out and said Impact doesn’t run things, he does. He paid off Quinn and told her to just go stand in the corner. Cody ranted and rambled about Moose and challenged him for the Grand Championship, next week. Cody then ordered his wifey to head to the back.
Your Winner: No Match
Impact Score: N/A
During the break, Rosemary came down and attacked Quinn (guess she DOES have to work for her pay). Quinn put up a feeble offense but was felled by the Red Wedding.
Ethan cut his “Make Impact Great Again” promo. Which led to…
Ethan Carter III vs Alberto El Patron
(Number One Contender Match).
Ethan nailed a pair of TK3s but refused to go for the win. Instead, he went out to the floor to grab a steel chair. Ethan looked ready to bash El Patron in the face with the chair but changed his mind and pitched the chair out to the floor. What the heck? Alberto hit a Double Knee to Ethan’s arm. He followed that up with the Superkick and cinched in the Cross Armbreaker. Ethan fought like Hell to reach the ropes but fell just a little short. He had no choice but to tap out!
Your Winner (by Submission): Alberto El Patron
Impact Ratings: 4.25
Alberto showed just what a class act he can be by praising Ethan for giving him one of the best matches of his long career. We kept waiting for the double cross but it didn’t happen. Alberto shook Ethan’s hand and Carter graciously exited the ring.
McKenzie interviewed our buddies, the Reno Scum. To correct the announcers, from last week, Adam is the bald one and Luster has the mohawk. The Boys made it crystal clear that they are on the hunt…for the World Tag Team Titles.
Ethan had a certified Hissy Fit, out in the parking area. Bruce Prichard tried to calm him down, but failed.
Madison Rayne then did her “Making Impact Great” promo.
Jeremy Borash stated that “She” will be back, next week. Dixie? Karen Jarrett? Maria? ODB? Someone else?
Impact ran a video piece about the return of “Suicide”. For those of you who may not be familiar with this characte it was a character that was created specifically for the TNA Impact Video Game. The character, who has been played by numerous wrestlers, disappeared some time back. When T.J. Perkins played the role, Hulk Hogan converted him over to Manik.
Suicide vs Trevor Lee vs Braxton Sutter vs Andrew Everett
Everett took two really nasty bumps on the apron. Braxton was poised to win this one until his former “forced girlfriend”, Laurel showed up in the crowd to distract. Trevor slipped up on Braxton and used a wicked Palm Strike to bring this match to an end.
Your Winner: Trevor Lee
Impact Rating: 2.75
Sienna, apparently now the “new Maria”, came out and went off on Braxton. She promised that the first time the “Fairy Tale Couple” would sleep together would be in matching hospital beds. Classy. Laurel was digging all this from ringside.
Moose is also going to make Impact great again.
Bruce Prichard came out for the final segment. He stated that titles are won in the ring, not other places or in other ways. Bruce told everyone that, in two weeks, there will be a Four Team Battle to determine the new champs.
That brought out Decay. They talked about how they saved the tag belts from outer space (or some such nonsense) and should be champs. Luster and Adam (the Reno Scum) come out and explain how they shocked the wold by beating the D.C.C. and should be the top team. Laredo Kid and Garza Jr. came out and said something in Spanish. Roughly translated “We want the belts”. The three teams started to go at it until the final team showed up…Homicide and Konnan! They came out to the old LAX music. Two more guys and a girl rush in, from the crowd, and just decimated everyone in sight. Konnan proclaimed that LAX is back! Yeah, baby! I can dig that old shirt out of storage and start wearing it again! Konnan drew a huge lalugh from both of us when he claimed that they were “as serious as a Late Period”. Konnan stated that the White Mafia would not keep his familia down and the tag belts would be coming home to L-A-X!
Peace and Love
–Jay and Lottie Shannon