FULL IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT

Posted March 9th, 2017 by 1Wrestling News Team

Some good friends of ours are getting their debut, this week, on Impact. Welcome to the big show…Reno SCUM. They will be joined by several surprise guests on this first edition of the NEW Impact Wrestling.

The world of sports has lost one of its Senior Statesmen. Lou Duva, who participated in Wrestlemania 2, has left us. I got the message through my old friend, Andrew Anderson. Lou was one of the greatest figures in boxing. We want to send our deepest sympathies to the entire Duva family.

Major changes are set to start, this week. Who is in? Who is out? Let’s find out…

The show began with a nifty History Lesson about the company. Impact is poised to redefine themselves, all over again.

New opening montage and cool new graphic.

Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards were fighting up in the crowd. Davey kept yelling “Where we you?”. That was during Davey’s recovery from injury. Davey wanted to strike officials and anyone in his way. Eddie put Davey, crotch first, over the metal railing. Eddie blocked a Suplex to the floor and hit a Crossbody. The officials were totally useless in keeping these two apart. “Let Them Fight!” rang out.

Pope said the new management was here. Josh wondered why there was a third announcer headset at the desk. Jeremy Borash came out to a great pop. Josh kept asking why JB was coming down to ringside. He joined the announce team and Josh sscreamed and yelled at JB.

JB said the new owners wanted more excitement at the announce desk. Josh read him the riot act. JB said the fans didn’t like Josh. JB said Josh has p*ssed off too many people, over the years. JB brought up Mike Tenay! We want him back! JB brought up that Josh was fired from WWE and hired by someone in TNA (who has left) who thought he was a great fit. JB explainedd that Josh didn’t have the b*lls needed. JB had a ton of bombs to drop, tonight.

Cody Rhodes came out and issued the challenge to Moose. JB said a new tag team was about to debut!

The D.C.C. vs the Reno Scum

I have had the honor to ring announce Luster and Adam DeBoor, here in Reno. I am honored to call them friends. This should be good.

Luster and Adam got a decent pop. Bram and Kingston tried to attack but failed. The SCUM hit a modified Poetry in Motion Dropkick. Luster taggd in and hit a Falling Headbutt. The fans chanted for the DCC. Tag back to Adam. Double Back Whip by the Scum. Bram got the tag and pounded away. Adam whipped Bram out to the floor. This broke down into total chaos. The Reno SCUM hit a wild double team Double Stomp. Way to go, boys!

Your Winners (I have been waiting for years to type this): THE RENO SCUM!
Impact Score: 3.25 out of a possible 5

The D.C.C. had somewhat of a meltdown, after the match.

Impact looked back at the foiled wedding of Braxton Sutter and Laurel. All Hell broke loose at the ceremony. Laurel did NOT take it well, to say the least.

Maczenzie wanted to interview Maria but she wasn’t there. Sienna came out to explain that Maria had a nervous breakdown. Sienna sent out a challenge to Allie. Sienna said Allie’s happiness would not last long.

Braxton Sutter (w/Allie) vs Marshe Rockett vs DJZ vs Caleb Connelly

Highlights:

DJZ hit a wild Flip Dive to the outside. Rockett nailed a Spinebuster. Crash Down by Rockett to DJZ. Buckle Bomb by Rockett to Braxton. Inside Cradle but Rockett got free. Triple Dropkick to Rockett as he flew off the ropes. Triple Stomp Down sent Marshe to the floor. Jawbreaker by DJZ. Caleb nailed an Enziguri and a Palm Strike. Tope Suicida by Caleb. High and Tight Suplex by Caleb. ZDT by Ion. Low Bridge and Rockett went to the floor. We are going to get a surprise visitor, in a few. Allie flew off the ropes to take out Rockett. Braxton hit a Twisting Fisherman’s Buster (modified Sister Abigail).

Your Winner: Braxton Sutter
Impact Score: 3.0

Laurel came out in her wedding dress and pointed at the ring.

We went to the Hardy Compound. They were watching monkeys pull Jeff’s hair. Jeff will fight Smokin’ Joe (a kangaroo) shortly. We knew strange things were afoot but not quite THIS strange. Smile.

Sienna vs Rachael Ellering

Yes, this is Paul’s daughter! Sienna didn’t look impressed with the new girl. Lock up and Sienna pushed her away. Roll Up by Ellering for a two. La Magistral Cradle by Rachael. Rachael blasted Sienna, over and over. She dropped her with a wicked Forearm. Josh threatened to whip JB’s *ss. Back Body Drop by Rachael. Boot by Sienna but she took one of her own. Step Up Enziguri by Rachael. Sienna went to the floor. Rachael went up the ropes but Sienna pushed her off. Clothesline by Sienna for a two. Sienna mounted Rachael and blasted her in the face.

Rachael blocked a Suplex so Sienna pounded on the back. Gut Wrench by Ellering. Wild strikes by Rachael. STO by Rachael. Springboard Spinning Leg Drop by Ellering but it only brought a tw.o. Silencer by Sienna.

Your Winner: Sienna
Impact Score: 2.5

Bruce Prichard came out tot he ring. He LOVES us. Smile. Josh was having a meltdown. Bruce pushed his podcast and website. Bruce said Impact Wrestling wasn’t the same as it was when he was here before. He knew that people felt he hurt Impact (I don’t think so). Bruce wants to bring back the Greatness. He said “TNA is dead.” It is now known s Impact Wrestling. The new owners went on a search for some talent that knew a few things about greatness. Bruce did some fun impressions and then called out Bobby Lashley, Walking Armageddon.

Bobby shook hands with Bruce. Bobby smiled and thanked Bruce for recognizing his (Bobby’s) greatness. Bobby brought up being Donald Trump’s choice (what, 10 years ago?). Bruce said there was no one in the back to challenge…

Alberto El Patron showed up! Awesome! I have a very special signed photo of Alberto up on the brand new office wall! “Si, Si” rang out as Bruce introduced the second generation star. Bobby warned Alberto not to cater to the fans. Alberto told “El Perro” (the dog) to shut up. Alberto said Bobby hasn’t beaten him.

Ethan Carter III arrived to crash the party. Ethan told Patron he would have to earn a title shot. Ethan claimed he has carried the company for years. Ethan challenged Bobby to a fight, tonight. Bobby ordered Ethan to the back of the line. Bobby then told Alberto to bring it. “Let’s Dance, Bobby” was Alberto’s response. Bruce made the match! Ethan looked confused.

JB was on the phone. Another Legend has arrived. This next star has NEVER been on Impact before. Who could it be?

Maczenie interviewed Eddie Edwards. She asked him if he expected this from Davey Richards. Angelina Love came out and got in Eddie’s face. Angelina showed how jealous she is about Eddie’s fame and the fact that Eddie forgot about Davey Richards when the Lone Wolf was hurt. Angelina slapped the crap out of Edwards. Eddie said Angelina hits harder than her husband did. Ouch!

The annoucers bickered about the Wolves issues. Cody came out for Moose but the big man is in Japan. Cody acted like he didn’t know who JB was. Cody said he was heading to the ring with his Next Gen Title. Cody claimed he was going to hold the show hostage until Moose showed up. Cody slid in the ring and sat down. Cody then headed to the back. JB yelled that Moose was in Japan, again.

There was a video package about Lashley. Bobby wants to take the intensity to higher levels Bobby stated people needed to meet him.

Dutch Mantel came out to the stage. He said he used to be Zeb Colter, in an alternate universe (WWE). Dutch then officially introduced himself. Dutch talked about his 40 years in the business. He ran down his resume, which is quite impressive. Dutch proclaimed his love of wrestling. Dutch was there for a reason. Dutch said Impact Wrestling called him in to make the company great again. Dutch was there, about 8 years back. He never came out on camera. Dutch talked about some of the past greats (Styles, Samoa Joe, Roode, etc…). Dutch said the reason all the guys left was because of a lack of leadership and respect. Dutch then mentioned the fans leaving. “Bring the People Back” was Dutch’s goal. Dutch asked everyone to rise and say “We the People…will make Impact Great!” Can Jack Swagger be far behind?

We are back at the Hardy Compound. Jeff Hardy was ready to fight “Smokin’” Joe Frazier–the Kangaroo. This was just some seriously silly fun. Thankfully, they didn’t hurt the ‘Roo. The Hardys were off for the next encounter for gold.

Backstage, Decay coughed and choked. They picked up the TNA World Title belts. Supposedly, the Broken Hardys were deleted. OK.

Jeremy Borash talked about the birth of TNA/Impact. On July 2, 2017, Slammiversary will be held to celebrate 15 years. Cool! Josh whined and whimpered about JB getting all the big announcements.

Alberto El Patron vs Bobby Lashley
Impact World Title Match

Borash did the official introductions. Brian Hebner was the Zebra in Charge.

Alberto has a new tattoo on his ribs. Coudn’t quite tell what it is.

The bell rang and the two circled each other. Alberto seemed confused by the split chants from the crowd. Collar and Elbow to the corner. The two pushed each other and Alberto sent Bobby to the corner. Bobby bounced Alberto off the corners. Hard Whip by the champion. Bobby stomped away on the Mexican superstar. The fight went to the floor. JB talked about Alberto’s MMA background. (I love trivia like that).

Alberto flew off the top to drop Bobby in mid ring. Cravat by El Patron. Bobby reached the ropes. Corner Mount Punches by El Patron. Bobby hit the Rude Awakening Neckbreaker. Alberto rolled out of the ring.

Bobby whipped Alberto into the ring steps. Bobby tossed Alberto back in the ring. Bobby stood on Alberto’s throat and then went to the Rear Chin Lock. Leap Frog and Clothesline by Bobby. Vertical Stall Suplex by Bobby. Lashley set for the spear but took a Dropkick to the face. The ref started to count them down.

The two got up and traded hard punches. Bobby put Alberto up on the ropes. Cross Armbreaker in the ropes by El Patron. Sidewalk Slam by Bobby brought a two count.

Ethan Carter III strolled out to watch the match. Bobby punched us into commercial land.

We’re back and Bobby was standing tall. El Patron hit a wild set of Cltheslines. Back Stabber by Alberto to pull a two. Bobby blocked the Cross Armbreaker. Roll Up f a two count. Bobby kept looking up at Ethan.The ref got blasted by Bobby, by accident. Cross Armbreaker by Alberto but there was no ref. Brian Siffler rushed down to see if Bobby would tap out. Bobby rolled over to lift Alberto and hit a Powerbomb. 1-2-kick out.

Bobby rushed the corner. Double Stomp by El Patron for a two plus. Bobby lifted Alberto but couldn’t hold him. Spinebuster by Bobby brought another two count. Snap DDT by El Patron. The ref got laid out by a Superkick.

Spinebuster by Bobby. No ref! Alberto bashed Bobby in the face with the title belt. One of the refs made the official count.

Your Winner (and NEW Impact World Champion): Alberto El Patron
Impact Score: 4.25

The refs were discussing what just happened. A bunch of officials got in the ring. They all talked with Jeremy Borash. I guess the decision will stand.

Peace and Love

-Jay and Lottie Shannon
JayCShannon@gmail.com

Category: Wrestling.

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