WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Posted October 26th, 2016 by jshannon

Roll the opening montage!

Hell in a Cell is this Sunday. It was announced that Goldberg WILL fight Brock Lesnar.

Chris Jerico came out to a monster pop. He did not look happy. The fans started a “Prissy Chrissy” chant. Jericho said the Triple Threat main event was cancelled because something catastrophic has happened. “The List of Jericho” has been stolen. Seriously? LIke anyone gives a crap about this mystical List. Jericho said he was completely boycotting the WWE until he gets his list back. Jerico said he would not leave the ring until he got the List back.

Kevin Owens came out to apparently try and talk some sense to his best buddy. “Were’s the List?” rang out. Jericho asked kevin if Owens had The List. Owens didn’t have it and didn’t care. Kevin said they will find The List, AFTER they take care of Seth Rollins. Kevin told Jerico to get his head right. Chris whined about the loss of his most precious possession.

Stepanie McMahon had heard enough. Stephanie didn’t have the List but she would do all she could to get it back to Jericho. However, she put him in his place by saying he WOULD fight, tonight. Jerico screaed and hollered about his silly List.

He ws cut off by te arrival of Seth Rollins. Set had The List and Chris saw it. Seth played it off that he didn’t ave it to irritate Chris. Stephanie demanded the List. Seth made fun of The List. Seth said Stephanie was on Jericho’s List. Kevin told Set to stop with the childis behavior. Kevin felt te List was stupid. Seth mentioned that Kevin’s name was also on The List. Chris quickly said that the List was for his enemies, not his friends. Chris yelled tat he wanted his List back, now! Seth needed to get a new List started, one dedicated to Kevin Owens. Seth said the List would be the parts of Kevin’s body that would be forever changed by te Hell in a Cell match. The List included Kevin’s back, mouth, and EGO. Seth promised to rip Kevin apart. Seth then told Jericho to come get his List.

Later tonight, Sasha and Charlotte will sign their contract for the FIRST Women’s Match inside the Cell! Lottie is thrilled at that match. She’s even talked me into postponing watching The Walking Dead to watch Hell in a Cell. After last week, it takes someting really special to make me miss Dead. Lottie is just that special. Grin.

I want to send a special thanks out to my buddy, “Terrific” Tyson (Raines). He joined Lottie, myself and our friends, Chico and Jill, at Saturday’s Zombie Crawl. Tyson led Lottie and I on a wild tour of downtown Reno, amidst 15,000 crazed party-goers. Thanks, amigo, for keeping me out of trouble when the JackRbbit bumped Lottie and I was ready to go all Twist of Fate on te jerk. Smile.

Seth grumbled at Stephanie for putting him in a Handicap Match. Seth promised to survive tonight and to get the belt on Sunday. He then told Stepanie The List was now in the locker room.

Enzo Amore vs Karl Anderson

The FInish:

Enzo’s intro was stopped by Anderson. Luke and Karl cut teir own promo. Luke said they paid off the techie to foul up Enzo’s microphone. It ws time to fight. Enzo still got is promo in, even witout a micropone. Te crowd did teh bit for im.

Karl came close, several times, to winning tis contest. Te crowd gave Enzo te extra fire he needed. Enzo it hard fists and a Crossbody. Karl was rocked. The ref blocked a Stinger Splash. What the Hell? Karl wanted te Gun Stun but Cass distracted teh ref. Cass hit a Big Boot on Karl and Enzo got the win.

Your Winner: Enzo Amore
Raw Ranking: 2.0 out of a possible 5

Haas a ref EVER seen interference? No, Lottie, they haven’t.

Rusev cut a promo about his upcoming Hell in a Cell matc against Roman Reigns. Rusev knew he would do despicable things to Roman, on Sunday, including taking the US title back. Rusev was not afraid of the Cell or Roman. e promised to Crus Roman.

New Day came out to party with the crowd. They threw boxes of Booty-O’s to the crowd. They discussed fighting Sheamus and Cesaro on Sunday. They made fun of “Shame-Us”. They felt no one wanted to see Sheamus. They got a “Shame” chant going.

New Day vs Sheamus and Cesaro
Non-Title Match

The Finish:

Cesaro hit a Vertical Suplex on Kofi. Kofi blocked te Cesaro Swing and rolled up Cesaro for a two. Uppercut Train by Cesaro. Kofi converted one of e runs into the SOS. 2 count. Tag to Big E. Big E sent Sheamus off the ropes. Kofi blasted Cesaro. Blind tag to Sheamus. e missed the Brogue Kick. Kofi was sent over the ropes but fell to an Uppercut. Sheamus slid back in and took out Big E with the Brogue Kick!

Your Winners: Sheamus and Cesaro
Raw Ranking: 2.75

Raw looked t the return of Goldberg! The match between Goldberg and Brock is either going to be epic or pathetic. There will be NO middle ground. Goldberg accepted Paul Heyman’s Proxy Challenge. I went back and looked at their Wrestlemania 20 match. It was horrible. Steve Austin is the only thing that saved that train wreck.

Chris Jericho was still looking for his List. He talked with several people but still couldn’lt find his flipping List.

Dana Brooke vs Bayley
Arm Wrestling Match (Seriously?)

What a serious waste of time and talent. Bayly had a bad shoulder but she still fought. Dana beat her quickly. Bayley got a rematch, using the other arm. That was going Bayley’s way until Dana attacked.

Your Winner: N/A
Raw Ranking: 0.01

Dana kept beating on Bayley until she came back to kick butt.

I n the back, Chris whined to Stephanie about the List. Sephanie told Jericho to get focused. Stephanie said Chris would fight, List or No List. Chris refused to fight. Stephanie explained to Chris that if he did NOT compete, he would be suspended.

Curtis Axel was home and he cut a scathing promo on his former friend, Bo Dallas. He did a Foley Pop for Minnesota. He brought up Larry “The Ax” Hennig and “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig. Axel was ready to keep their Legacy alive and moving forward. Axel said he was going to destroy Bo in Axel’s hometown.

Curtis Axel vs Bo Dallas

The Finish:

Axel tore Bo a newone, a mile wide. Perfect Plex to Bo but it only brought a two. Bo scooted out to the floor. Bo tripped Axel and blasted Axel, from the floor. Bo dropped Axel and cranked on a Rear Chin Lock. Axel punched away. Ax Clotheslines by Curtis. Back Elbow and Snap Mare by Axel. Neck Snap and Ax by Axel. 2 count. Running Kneelift but Bo rolled up Axel for the three. Dang it.

Your Winner: Bo Dallas
Raw Ranking: 2.5

They ran a fun promo of Rich Swann. We both like this kid.

Jericho was still looking for his silly List. He was told the List was right around the corner. Braun Strowman had it. Chris politely asked for the List. Braun didn’t like that Sami Zayn’s name wasn’t on the List. Chris got the List and then put Braun’s name on it. Cool, Braun gets to fight someone above Jobber Level. By the way, “Terrific” Tyson did ask me to extend a challenge to Brayn, any time…any place. “The former Reno Wrestling Federation champion is afraid of no man or beast. Come to Reno…get handed your (expletive)”.

Roman Reigns did a promo about his match against Rusev. Roman warned Rusev that the Cell was something he could not be prepared for. Roman reminded Rusev that Reigns HAS won a Cell match. Roman said this was all about the US title. And that makes it personal. “See you in Hell”.

The announce team ran down the Hell in a Cell card. Should be a great show. Lottie is chomping at the bit to see it. She’s also excited abou the November 19th Headlock on Hunger show in Reno.Our good buddy, Cory Dayton, is hosting the charity event. Will have more on it, later.

Golden Truth (Goldust and R-Truth) vs Los Mata–oops–The Shining Stars (Epico and Prino) w/Titus O’Neil

The Finish:

Mark Henry was also at ringside. Titus got involved, which set off Mark Henry. Mark pushed Titus into the corner. Mark then ran Titus into the corner. Modified 3D by the Golden Truth to take the win. Yawn.

Your Winner: Golden Truth
Raw Ranking: 1.5

The ladies walked backstage. It was time to sign the contract…next.

The Contract Signing:

Mick Foley discussed how the Hell in a Cell can change careers, forever. Foley brought out Charlotte FLair (she finally gets to use her last name?). Sasha Banks then joined the party. Foley did his best to keep the peace. Mick mentioned how both women shattered wrestling’s Glass Ceiling. Mick knew many would feel that a Hell in a Cell match was too barbaric for females (huge boos from the crowd…and Lottie). Mick mentioned that there was no turning back. Foley Pop!

Sasha and Charlotte were both ready to rock and roll. Mick actually tried to talk the women out of this match. Mick flipped out about the evilness of the Cell. Charlotte said she was ready to blaze yet another trail for women by fighting in the demonic strucure. Charlotte said she would got to Hell and back to get her title back. Charlotte demanded respect for The Queen. Sasha said Charlotte was NO Queen but there was a Boss (her). Sasha wanted to be the greatest woman in WWE History. Charlotte reminded Sasha off all of Bank’s injuries and weaknesses. This was one of the better interactions. The men should watch this and learn how to cut a promo.

Mick Foley said how much the Cell hurt him. Foley mentioned his bad spine nad messed up hip socket. Foley got all emoional when talking about his history with the two girls. Foley should get an Emmy for his promo. He demandd that he girls truly understand what they were getting into. They thought about it nad then signed. This is THE match that Lottie is waiting for. To Hell (pun fully intended) with the rest of the night’s card. We will have the old Laptop leashed into the big screen TV to watch all the blood and gore. Smile.

Rich Swann vs “The” Brian Kendrick

Comercial for Undertaker on WWENetwork. Why isn’t he in the WWE Hall of Fame, yet? I don’t know, Lottie, he darn well SHOULD be. No kidding.

T.J. Perkins watched this one, from the announcer Crow’s Nest. Swann danced around. Brian slapped on a Side Headlock but Swann got free. Universal into a nice Dropkick. Brian went tot he floor. Swan with a Slingshot Arm Drag. Brian went to the floor. 450 flip out to the floor. Cut to commercial.

We’re back and Brian was in control. Swann got up to his feet and punched Brian’s ribs. Brian stopped a Whip and hit an Uppercut. Swann nailed Uppercuts and CLotheslines. DoubleStomp by Swann. 2 count. Knee Strike by Brian. Swann hit a Hurancanrana for a two. Brian flippe dout of a Geman Suplex but couldn’t hit Sliced Bread #2. Jackknife Powerbomb by Swann. 2 count. Brian got the knees up as Swann went for a Moonsult. 2 count, again. Swann flipped out of the Captin’s Hook. Swann kicked Brian on the run. Swann escapped the Captain’s Hook and rolled up Brian for the surprise win.

Your Winner: Rich Swann
Raw Ranking; 3.75

Yo, Scooter, Match of hte Nihgt?

Kevin Owes was interviewed about The List and the Triple Threat. Kevin knew Chris was on the same page with him. Kevin pushed how he was going to destroy Seth, inside the Cell. Kevin has been waiting, for 20 years, to get inside the Cell. Kevin found the match exciting. Kevin promised to dismantle Seth, on Sunday. Kevin warned he would leave a permanent scar on Seth.

Braun Srowman vs Sami Zayn

The two men stared each other down. Braun demanded a microphone. He told Foley to bring him competition. He dind’t think Sami was “real competiton”. Sami attacked Braun. That just ticked off the big guy. Sami slapped the Abominable Strowman in the face. Braun chased after Sami. Sami witha Step Up Enziguri and a Crossbody. Braun caught Sami and threw him into the barricade. Braun walked away from Sami and headed to the back. Sami slid back in the ring nad challenged Braun to ocme back. Braun just walked away.

Your Winner (by Count Out, I think): Sami Zayn
Raw Ranking: 1.5

The announcers ran down the Hell in a Cell card and WWENetwork.

In the back, Brian Kendrick and T.J. Perkins chatted. Brian asked for help but he needed it from Perkins. Brian whined about getting old and having only one more shot at the gold. Brian whimpered about how he had to win to support his family. That was just low. Perkins didn’t know the Brian that he looked at. Perkins told Brian to go out there and win. Brian asked Perkins to take a dive for him. Really? Perkins dind’t even respond to that insuling request.

Paul Heyman went into Brock’s locker room. Time for Brock’s response to Goldberg.

Brock and Paul came out to talk. The crowd loved seeing a home town Beast come home. Paul was right at Brock’s side. They shouwed highlights of Goldbeg’s comments. Paul spoke for his client. Paul made fun of Goldberg and him wanting to be some kind of super hero. The chans of “Suplex City” and “Goldberg” rang out. Paul went off on a “smart *ss” fan. Paul said the Goldberg chants p*ssed off Brock. Paul promised that Brock would destroy Goldberg. Paul got his shots in on the fans and their chanting. Brock stifled a smile as his friends and family chanted away. Paul begged fans not to chant Goldberg’s name or it would set off The Beast. That, of course, started a Goldberg chant. It turned into a SUplex City/Goldberg back and forth chant-a-thon. Paul was ticked off that Minnesota fans would DARE to chant for Goldberg. Brock’s music hit and they left the arena. Well, that was a good waste of 10 minutes.

Jericho found Owens. They were all happy together. Chris questioned Owens about his claim that the Universal title was ALL that matters. Jericho warned that they would still be best friens, no matter what happened tonight. Hmmm…I smell a break up.

Kevin Owens vs Seth Rollins vs Chris Jericho
Triple Threat Non-Title Match

The FInish;

Corner Clothesline by Kevin to Seth. Kevin charged nad hit a modified Stinger Splash on Seth. Cannonball but Seth moved. Seth hit his Flying Knee Strike. 2 count. Jericho was out, for the moment. Seth headed up top. Kevin stayed out of the way. Seth set for he Pedigree but Chris rushed in. Jericho blocked the Pedigree. Jericho tried for the Walls but couldn’t get it done. Back Elbow by Jericho. Lionsault but Seth got the knees up. Kevin stopped a Pedigree on Chris. Double eamon Seth. Senton, off the ropes, by Owens.

Double team on eth, on the floor. Chriss tossed Seth back in the ring. Kick to Seth’s face, by Kevin. Chris held Seth, so Kevin could smack him. Another Double Teamon Seth. This was just ridiculous. Kevin called for a finish to Seth. Seth Low Bridged he ropes. SUperkick to Jericho. Seth flew out with a Tope Suicida, which dropped Owens. Seth missed a Frog SPlash on Seth. Code Breaker! 2 count.

Chris was livid. He kept screaming “It was 3″. Cannonball to Seth. Kevin slapped Seth, over and over. Seth was placedon the top turnbuckle. Seth rolled up both men after slipping free from a Double SUperplex. Really?

Your Winner: Seth Rollins
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Owens and Jericho attacked Seth, after the match. Seth fouhgt back but got Powerbombed onto the ring apron.

Peace and Love

–Jay Shannon and Lottie Smith
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

Category: Wrestling.

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