WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Posted September 1st, 2016 by jshannon

Wrestling’s newest Dream Team (and hottest new couple), Jay and Lottie, are back to watch the crowning of tlhe new Universal Champion.

The show opened with an “In Memory Of” for Mr. Fuji. We lost this great talent over the weekend. There will be more about his life and career, a little later on.

The opening segment had Roman Reigns, Big Cass, Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens sitting in the ring. Corey Graves did his best to interview these volatile competitors. Corey is just so darn good on the microphone. Corey was cut off by Seth Rollins. Seth took credit for the injury to Finn Balor’s shoulder. Seth knew he was the favorite to win the title. Seth decided to donate his speaking time to Kevin Owens. Kevin thanked him and pushed Corey for having a great show on the WWENetwork. Corey asked Kevin about his thoughts on the match. The fans began to chant “Fight Kevin Fight”. Seth took credit for putting Sami Zayn out of the picture. Kevin knew the Universal title is the biggest prize that the Prize Fighter could go after. Kevin joked about how Enzo usually speaks for Big Cass. Cass came back and said Jericho was writing for Owens. Cass knew that everyone was betting against him. Cass claimed he was the biggest dog in this fight. Cass got a Size Does Matter shot in on Seth. That ticked off Seth. Roman started to laugh. Seth promised to eliminate Cass, first, and then Owens. Seth asked Roman how Reigns was going to change his game plan to beat Seth. Roman waited adn then stood up. Instead of speaking, Roman clocked Owens. All Hell broke loose as Roman and Cass stared each other down. Superman Punch to Seth! Roman stared at the Crimson and Gold of the U-Title.

Neville vs Chris Jericho

The Finish:

Jericho’s chest and crotch flew into the corner. Dead Lift German was countered into an attempt of the Walls of Jericho. Neville twisted into a Roll Up. Neville blocked the Code Breaker and hit a Superkick. Neville went up top for the Red Arrow. Jericho moved. Jericho turned a Hurancanrana into the Walls of Jericho. TAP OUT!

Your Winner (by Submission): Chris Jericho
Raw Ranking: 3.0 out of a possible 5

Backstage, Bayley ran into the New Day. Dana Brooke cae in and told Baylet that she didn’t belong. New Day mocked Dana for losing, last week, to Baylet. Dana was ready to join up with Gallows and nderson. So, we are about to have a six person mixed tag team match. Sweet.

Nia Jax vs Ion

The smaller girl is from Houston. Nia nailed a monster Clothesline. Jax just clubbed away and threw the girl down. Elbow Drop by Nia. Jax ran her foe into the corner nad threw wicked Shoulders. Hair Slung by Jax. This was painful to watch. Rikishi Run by Jax. Fireman’s Carry into a Powerbomb to end this massacre.

Your Winner: Nia Jax
Raw Ranking: 1.0d

Gallows and Anderson now calim that they are into the retirement industry. Their institue is called O.L.D. F.A.R.T.. Gallows and Anderson, along with Dana Brooke, are ready to take out New Day and Bylet.

Raw ran a promo for Seth Rollins.

Jinday Mahal vs Sami Zayn

Nice to see Jinday back with us.

THe Finish:

Jindar hit a Running Back Elbow. Sami and Jindar fought into the corner. Jindar went after the ankle but settled for a shot to the face. 1 count. Rear Chin Lock by Jindar. Sami escaped a Knee Strike and Scoop SLam. Huge Clothesline by Sami. Exploder, intot he corner, by Sami. Helluva Kick!

Your Winner: Sami Zayn
Raw Ranking: 2.0

Lita interviewed Sasha Banks. Sasha was ticked off that Charlotte was trying to end Banks’ career. Sasha said she would come bck strnger than ever. Michael Cole asked Charlotte about Sasha’s “coward” comments. Charlotte explained that she beat Sasha without her father or Dana.

New Day and Bayley vs Karl Anderson, Luke Gallows and Dana Brooke
Six Person Mixed Tag Team Match

The FInish:

Kofi hit a wicked Backwards FLip Dive to take out Anderson, on the floor. Dana tried to School Girl Bayley but only pulled a two. Bayley spun Dana around and nailed the ayley to Belly.

Your Winners: Bayley, Kofi Kingston and Big E
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Big Cass was profiled.

Sheamus vs Cesaro
Best of Seven SEries Match, Match #2

Lottie’s favorie wrestler came out in all his Casper-the-ghost Brillance. (Smack). Sorry, honey. Sheamus said Cesaro was nervous about facing Sheamus and coming up short. Sheamus knew Cesaro has spent his whole life trying to get a WWE title. Sheamus wondered how Cesro would feel when he found out that Sheamus was truly beter than the Swiss Superman.

The Finish:

Csaro pulled Sheamus off the ropes for a Backfly Powerbomb. Cesaro hit several European Uppercuts. Sheamus tried ot use the ropesfor the pin but the ref caught him. Cesaro hit a slew of Uppercuts. Uppercut Train!. Cesaro put Sheamus on the top turnbuckle and hit a Standing Dropkick. They went tot he floor. Bck Body Drop into the ring post. Cesaro was in severe agony. The ref checke don him. Sheamus threw him back in the ring and locked in the Cloberleaf!

Your Winner (By Submission): Sheamus
Raw Ranking: 2.75

Raw did a beautiful tribute to Mr. Fuji. He was always one of our favorites. The skits were so great with Mr. Fuji and Don Muraco. God Bless you, Harry F ujiwara. You were and always will be a class act that made wrestling beyond enjoyable.

Kevin Owens was the next to be profiled.

Americo vs Braun Strowman

Americo was about to be interviewed when the big man came from the bck. Americo suddenly went silent. Brayn threw Americo into the corner and hit wild Knee Strikes. Running Reverse Slams into the corners. He dumped the masked man int he middle of the ring. Alley Oop Slam by Braun. Braun then pinned the kid and ripped off his mask.

Your Winner; Braun Strowman
Raw Ranking: .5

Give him someone worth a darn to fight.

Stephanie headed towards the ring. She was going to confront Paul Heyman, next.

Smackdown is getting their own Women’s championship. Sigh. Could be worse, it could be the Women’s Championsip and the Divas Championship.

Tommaso Ciampa was profiled. He hs kicked butt in the Cruiserweight Classic. Cedric Alexander was also profiled. WWE has really taken the best of Ring of Honor. Johnny Gargano was another man showcased. The Cruiserweights will be on Raw, in just three weeks.

Stephanie McMahon strolled down to the ring. She was seriously poued into her dark dress. Raw showed how Brock Lesnar hit an F5 on Shane McMahon. Stephanie wasn’t happy at what she saw. She pushed the “very first” Universal Champion. Wait, did she forget about Finn Balor? tephanie said she had to deal wit the Brock Lesnar situation. Stephanie said no one messes with her family.

Paul Heyman cut her off. He did his introduction. Paul waned Stephanie to indulge him but that was not happening. Stephanie mockd the fans for chanting “ECW”, the company she bought from Paul, years go. “C.M. Punk” was the next chant. It was totally ignored. Paul said Brock’s win was a win for Raw. Paul understood that Brock corssed the line when he went after Shane. Pau wane dto pay a $500 fine. Paul pulled out a ton of $1 bills to pay her. I could be tacky right now but Lottie reminded me this is a family-friendly site. Grin.

Stephanie wondered what Paul had to offer to Raw. Stephanie warned Paul that there was a storm coming Paul’s way. Paul countered that Brock Lesnar is the Storm! Paul had an apology for Stephanie. Paul and Brock knew that they put Stephanie in a difficult position. Paul started talk down to Stephanie and she cut him off at the knees. Paul said he and Brock knew that Stephanie was the only Heir Apparent to the McMahon Legacy, Power and Fortune. Paul begged Stephanie the $500 and the apology. Stephanie thought it over and did acccept it. She then left he ring. Shane is NOT going to be happy about this.

Michael Cole updated us on F inn Balor’s shoulder surgery. He will be out for six monhs or so.

Roman Reigns was the final Universal competitor to be profiled.

Titus ONeil vs Darren Young (w/Bob Backlund)

The Finish:

Titus flipped Darren over the ropes. He then went out to abuse his former tag team partner. Scoop Slam by Titus. Titus screamed at Bob that Darren “owed him”. Titus slapped away on Titus and applied a modified Stimp Puller. Bob shrieked at his protege. Darren nailedDarren began to fight back but Titus hit a Pump Handle Spin Slam. Darren suffered through another Stump Puller. Titus said he would get ll his money from Darren. Big Boot when Darren tried to fight out. PUll Up SHort Arm Clothesline. 2 count. Crucifix Seated Back SLide by Darren. Dreen got hte pin and then threw Titus out of the ring.

Your Winner: Darren Young
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Titus attacked both Darrena nd Bob, after the match. Clashof the Titus on Darren.

Mick Foley chatted with Stephanie, in the back. Mick felt bad about not being out there for Stephanie. Mick felt that no tag partner or friends should be allowed at ringside for the Universal title. Seth Rollins came up and said he would win the Unviersal title for Stephanie. Stephanie promised this would be Seth’s night.

Roman Reigns vs Kevin Owens vs Big Cass vs Seth Rollins
Fout Way Elimination Match for the vacated Universal title

Highlights and FInish:

The match went for close to 20 minuts before Roman hit a Superman Punch to the head of Big Cass. Cass had Seth up with the Throwaway Sling. Roman hit the post. Superkick by Setht o almost eliminated Cass. Bull Frog Splash by Owens to eliminate Big Cass.

Big Cass–Eliminated

Fast forward and Triple H came out of nowhere to attack Roman Reigns! Pedigree to Roman. Roman threw Roman int the ring and then Seth. Seth pinned Roman!

Roman Reigns– Eliminated

It looked so obvious that Seth was about to take the crimson and gold. HHH went around and got Owens. He pitched Kevin into the ring. HHH took off his jacket and went to get Owens. Suddenly, TRIPLE H HIT A PEDIGREE ON SETH ROLLINS!

Your Winner (and NEW Universal Champion): Kevin Owens
Raw Ranking: 4.0

Both Lottie nad I just let loose with a WTF scream HHH helped Owens ot his feet nad handed him the U-Title. HHH then lifted Owens’ hand in victory.

Peace and Love

–Jay Shannon and Lottie Smith
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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