WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ IMPACT WRESTLING

Posted August 7th, 2016 by jshannon

The finals of the Bound for Glory Playoff Series went down, this week. I’m writing this one, solo, since my dear Lottie is laid up after a car accident on Wednesday afternoon. She’ll be ok but neeed a few days to recover. Much love, my dear. Let’s get to the action…

The show began with a look at the craziness surrounding the Bound for Glory series. Ethan Carter III took out Matt Hardy to make it tot he finals. Ethan accidentally cracked Drew Galloway. That allowed Mike Bennett to take the other finals spot.

Afer the match, Drew Galloway completely lost it when talking about Ethan. Drew didn’t want any video evidence about what he was going to do to Ethan, later.

In the ring, Mike nad Maria Bennett stared at Ethan Carter III. Mike stepped up to say something real quick. Mike said Ethan only got his spot thanks to his sweet Auntie D (Dixie Carter). Mike whined about how tough it was for him to get to the finals. Mike laughed at Ethan for hitting Drew and elping Ethan win. Mike thanked Ethan for the help. Mike promised there would not be a Happy Ending for EC3, tonight. Mike bragged about being “he Miracle”.

Ethan insulted Mike’s voice and face. Ethan got very graphic about how much he wanted he hurt Mike. Ethan knew this was the “Rubber Match” in their feud. The fans were solidly behind EC3. Mike knew he could do everything Ethan could do but do it better. Mike knew that Ethan would always be 2nd best to him. Ethan didn’t care who Bennett would bring t the ring. Mike swore it would be a one-on-one battle. Mike warned Ethan that if Carter were to lose focuse, he would lose.

Moose came out to join the party. Ethan grinned. As Ethan turned, Mike attacked. Moose came in nad bashed and battered Ethan. It was a nasty double team. SKy High Rope Powerbomb by Moose. Ethan was down nad hurt.

E-Li Drake wanted to take to ya. Drake was confident that he would destroy James Storm, later on.

The whole weird Rosemary story was replayed. She had some kind of weird accident and met a little brother that never existed.

“Cowboy” James Storm vs E-Li Drake
King of he Mountain Title Match

The fight started on the rampway. Storm threw rke back in the ring and hit a Double Sledge. Storm’s persona was on te line in this match. Drake reversed a Whip and hit a ack Elbow and Hot Shot into a Neckbreaker. 1 count only. The fight went to the outside and then back in.

Drake hit Legdrop on the apron. 2 count. Drake slugged his challenger in the face. Storm came back and dropped Drake. Inverted Atomic Drop by torm. Drake flipped Jame onto the apron. Enziguri and Running Neckbeaker. Drake escaped the Eye of the Storm but could not avoid the Spinebuster. Storm went up the ropes but got caught. Storm fought out of he Superplex. Drake flew up the ropes and hit a Superplex Brainbuster. Modified Michinoku Driber by Drake to pull a two. Drake then headed out to the floor nad started to leave. Instead, Drake got in the ring with the belt. Storm hit the Eye of the Storm. 2 count, one more time.

Drake took a swig of beer and accidentally sprayed the ref in the eye. Roll Up by Storm but there was no ref. Drake cracked Storm in the face with the title belt. 1-2-Kick Out! Drake was so frustrated. Both men blocked the finishers. A Back Elbow sent Drake to the apron. Shoulder by Drake. Drake went for a Springboard but took a Last Call SUperkick to the face.

Your Winner (and NEW King of he Mountain Champion): James Storm
Impact Scorecard: 4.0 out of a possible 5

Bobby Lashley came out to rain of Storm’s parade. After a commercial break, Bobby got up in James’s face. Bobby said e would figh him, later. Bobby congratulated Storm on his win. They shook hands all nice. Storm remembered winning the world title, five years ago. Storm talked about beating Kurt Angle for the title in less than a minute. He knew he could take down Bobby in 30 seconds. Bobby knew that there was no one even close to him. Bobby waned to add the King of he Mountain Title to his collection. Storm was not intimidated by Bobby. He promised to kick Bobby’s teeth down Lashley’s throat. Bobby had a little offer to pu t on the table. Bobby wanted to put all the titles on the line. Bobby said he would llow Storm to hand over he title and avoid an *ss Whipping. Storm called Bobby a b*tch and stepped out of the ring. Bobby promised to hurt Storm, real bad.

Allie talked with Gail Kim. Allie had a thought but Maria did not want to hear it. Maria would not tell Gail wo she was fighing, at first. Allie ticked her off and so she set up Allie vs Gail Kim…next.

Bram and Rosemary were in the barn. Rosie looked hot yet creepy. Rosemary had something special to tell Bram. We will see it later.

Gail Kim vs Allie

Allie had that “Deer in the Headlighs” thing going on. Before the match, Maria came out to announce that Gail would have a 2nd opponent…

Gail Kim vs Allie and Sienna
Handicap Match

Allie squeaked at Gail. Sienna attacked Gail, from behind. Sienna demanded that Allie get in and fight Gail. Allie threw pathetic kicks to Gail. Gail caught hte foot and Back Heel Tripped her. Sienna kneed the back and tagged in. Sienna bashed Gail and hit a Running Samoan Drop. Allie wanted to tag in. God, shut that wench up.

Allie got in one shot and tagged out. Gail began to fight back but Sienna hit the Fallaway Slam. Allie wanted a tag .She raked hte back and tagged out. Back Elbow by Gail. Wheelbarrow Sup lex by Gail. I so had to mute this to not have to listen to Allie. Allie went for a Bodyslam but couldn’t lift Gail. Kim fell onto Allie. Allie went tot he eyes. Sienna tossed Allie to the corner nad forced the ag. Sienna nad Gail punched away on each other. Corner Splash by Sienna. Tag to Allie. Allie missed a corner rush. Double Clothesline in mid-ring. Gail knocked Sienna off the apron. Gail tore into Allie with Forearms and Shoulders. Corner Splash by Gail. Cross Tie Neckbreaker by Gail. Sienna stopped Eat Da Feet. AK47 by Sienna. Allie went for the pin. 1-2-Kick out!

Gail kicked Aliie away. Silencer to Allie, by mistake. Gail kicked Sienna out of the ring. She covered the knocked out knockout, Allie.

Your Winner: Gail Kim
Impact Scorecard: 2.0

Matt Hardy whimpered about how his brother cost him his place in Bound for Glory. I hate Matt’s newer promos. Matt had a plan for Brother Nero.

Impact will be live, next week. All three major singles (men) titles will be on the line as Bobby Lashley will fight James Storm.

Reby Sky-Hardy came out to introduce her Broken husband. Matt forced Jaeff “Brother Nero” Hardy to come ot the ring. Reby kept screaming that Jeff was Obsolete. Damm, I thought Allie was annoying to listen to. Matt said his brother embarrassed him, last week. Matt did a Smothers Brothers “Mom/The Fans loved you best” thing. Ancient, flashback moment. Matt kept alking about al the betrayals by Jeff. Matt wanted Jeff to atone for his sins. Matt said they were to get the tag team titles but Jeff would fight alone. Matt said Jeff was not allowed to jump off he top rope. Matt asked Senor Ryder (Bob) to send out a ref.

Jeff Hardy vs Chuck Tayor and J. T. Dunn
Handicap Match

Dunn worked over Jeff’s neck. Floa Over by Dunn. Jeff ramed Dunn into the corner, over and over. Jeff stomped away on his challenger. Splash by Jeff but Taylor made the save. Flying Arm bar by Dunn. Tag to Taylor. Double team on Jeff. Splash by Taylor but it only brought a 1. Tayor looked like a young JBL. Dunn and Taylor kept up the double team. Knee Strike and Discus Forearm but Jeff kicked out at two. Arm Bar by Taylor. Matt attacked a fan and bit he poor dude. The guy was bleeding and Matt let the blood cover his lips. This is just stupid.

Taylor put Jeff down. Matt took a microphone nad yelled into i.t Sling Blad by Jeff. Taylor and Jeff punched away. Jeff hit a Flying Forearm to both men. Double Leg Drop to get a 2. Twist of Fates but Dunn got the tag. Back Body Drop by Jeff. Twist fo Fate blocked. Superkick by Dunn. This kid looks like Seth Rollins’ twin brother. Twist of Fate!Jeff headed up the ropes but Matt got in his way. Meatt Swentoned over Matt. Twist of Fate by Matt!Matt took the tag.

Your Winners; Matt and Jeff Hardy (so I guess it was a tag match, not a handicap one)
Impact Scorecard: 2.5

“Coach” Al Snow chatted with his Mortal Combatants of The Tribunal, Baraka and Dax. They showed recent attacks on Shera nad Grado. Snow said it was about to be 3-on-2. Snow was ready to destroy their mortal enemies.

Al Snow, Baraka and Dax vs Grado and Mahabali Shera
3-on-2 Handicap Match

Baraka and Dax jumped Shera and Grado. Grado fought out of te enemy corner but Baraka took him down. Tag to Baron Dax. Knee Srikes nd punches by the Tribunal member. Grado kicked Dax and hit a hard Clothesline. Baraka knocked Shera off the ropes and tagged out to Snow. Snap Mare and cover by Snow but it only brought a two. Snow taunted Shera with a tag. Shera was knocked off he apron. Crossbody by Grado. Tag to Bsile Baraka. He dropped an Elbow and hit a Suplex. Tag back to Snow. Hard punch and Scoop Slam. Shera wanted in the match but Grado was too far away. Snow hit another Scoop Slam.

Inside Cradle by Grado but the ref was out of position, big time. Grado tried to reach his corner nad finally did. Shera was ready to fight all three opponents. Shera hit Scoop Slams to all 3. Baraka and Dax attacked but Shera laid them both out. Grado came in to hit the Flip Flop and Fly on Snow. He dropped the straps. Whip Cannonball into Snow. Stereo World’s Srongest Slams. Snow put brass knucks on but Shera caught hte hand nad nailed hte Sky High Powerbomb.

Your Winners: Mahabali Shera and Grado
Impact Scorecard: 2.5

Rosemary was back to talk about making Johnny’s blood run black. What-the-Hell-ever. Bram was ready to leave but Rosie wanted him to stay. Bram told Rosemary to get over it. She flipped out and shrieked. Rosemary was ready to attack Bram but Crazzy Steve and Abyss jumped him. They dragged Bram over and threw him in a car trunk. Weird crap.

TNA ran a profile piece on Ethan Carter III. Ethan then said he didn’t care who Bennett brought, he would beat him.

Commercial by The Fixer, Tyrus.

“Miracle” Mike Bennett vs Ethan Crter III
Bound for Glory Series Playoff Finals

Maria introduced her hubby to the crowd. J.B. did the official introductions. Ethan was deling with bad ribs and an injured arm. The bell rang and they went into a Collar and Elbow. They danced around the ropes. Mike went right tothe ribs. Ethan backed away at warp speed. Mike kicked the ribs and they went into a Universal. Shoulder Tackle by Ethan. Ethan worked the arm and hit a Knife Edge Chop. Mike kicke the ribs. Ethan rebounded with another Knfe Edge Chop. Side Headlock by EC2. Kitchen Sink to Ethan’s ribs. Hard Whip by Mike led to a Running Boot. 2 count.

Mike kicked Ethan but Ethan came back with a Clothesline. Gorilla Press Slam by EC2. Mike ot the knees up as Ethan went for a Splash. Hard Whip and Ethan crashed hard. TNA was ready for another break.

Mike drov his knee into Ethan’s back and ribs. Flapjack brought a two to Mike. Mike stomped the damaged ribs. Abdominal Stretch by Mike. Mike used the ropes for extr leverage. Maria also held Mike’s hand. The ref was out of position. Ethan did come back but fell to a Spinebuster.

Ethan wit the School Boy for a two. Both men hit Crossbody Blocks. Ethan took the worst of that impact, pun fully intended. The two began to slug it out. Ethan almost got the advantage but a kick slowed Ethan. Jawbreaker by Ethan. Ethan missed the Stinger Splash. Mike went into Hat Trick German Supexes but Ethan blocked the third one. Back Elbow and Standing Switc by Carter. Release German by Ethan. Ethan hit the Flapjack and went for the 1%er. Bennett blocked it. Lift Up Powerbomb by Ethan. 2 count. Mike escaped the TK3. Side Russian Leg Sweep by Ethan into the turnbuckles. Ethan headed up the ropes. Mike popped Ethan in the face, several times over. Top Rope Cutter by Bennett. 2 count, only!

Maria found a kendo stick under the ring. Brian Hebner prevented it from being used. Maria got up in Brian’s face and he ejected her.

Maria fought all the way to the back. Mike missed with a kendo stick swing. Ethan nailed the 1%er but Mike kicked out. Moose came down to get involved by Eddie Edwads flipped over the ropes to take the former NFL player out. Kendo shot by Mike into the M.I.P.. Could be…might be…DENIED!

Mike went for his own 1%er but Ethan went into a Sleeper. Mike tried to use the ropes to flip back like he did when he beat Ethan. They kept blocking finishers until Etan connected with the 1%er!

Your Winner: Ethan Crter III
Impact Scorecard: 4.5

Peace

–Jay Shannon (and the recovering Lottie)
WordSlingerJay@gmail.com

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