WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ IMPACT WRESTLING

Posted August 3rd, 2016 by jshannon

The Bound For Glory Playoff Series continued, this week.

Matt Hardy came out and ramble don about how his “Obsolete Mule, Brother Nero” (Jeff Hardy) had betrayed him. Jeff had to come out to that ridiculous new theme, complete with Reby Sky-Hardy yelling “Obsolete”. Jeez. Matt old his brother that Brother Nero was only there to make sure Matt defeated EC3. Jeff told Matt to do it on his own. Matt ordered his brother to follow his orders. Matt screamed that he was going to win.

That brought out Ethan Carter III. Ethan mocked “Broken Matt”. Ethan discussed kicking Matt’s *ss. Ethan cut off Matt when he tried to interrupt him. Ethan said Jeff was both “relevant” and a “creature”. Ethan warned Jeff not to get involved in the match. Matt said he would eat Ethan AND his cats. That, comically, set off Ethan. Which led to…

Ethan Carter III vs Matt Hardy
Bound for Glory Semi-Final Match #1

The Finish:

Reby threw a hammer to Jeff. Brother Nero slid it in the ring. Both men, in the ring, went for the hammer. Matt bit Ethan’s ankle as Carter stood on the hammer. Ethan hit the 1%er on Matt to advance to the finals!

Your Winner: Ethan Carter III
Impact Scorecard: 3.0 out of a possible 5

Allie talked with Madison Rayne about what Rayne did, last week. Madison made it clear that what she did, last week, was for her…not Maria or anyone. Madison wanted to know what was in it for her, if she were to beat Gail Kim. Maria said Madison would have to wait and see.

Matt screamed at Jeff that he was going to punish him. Matt hinted that Jeff was going to be “replaced” at the next big show.

TNA looked at how Madison Rayne attacked Gail Kim, last week. That led to…

Madison Rayne vs Gail Kim
Gail must win to continue towards the Knockout Title.

The Finish:

Victory Roll by Gail but Madison kicked out. Gail went for the Warrior’s Way but Maddie got the feet up. Brain Check by Madison but Gail was too close to the ropes. Eat da Feet!

Your Winner: Gail Kim
Impact Scorecard: 3.0

Mike Bennett and Moose did a dual promo about how they were planning to dominate TNA. Moose said he would crush, smash and hit the Game Breaker to be dominant.

Rosemary and Bram did a weird promo. Rosie explained what has turned her psycho. It had to do with a sick cat. The cat died and Rosie was turned inside out. This was like a bad Stephen King tele-movie. Jeez. She started about her “little brother”. Shouldn’t Bray Wyatt get royalties for this segment? I’m just saying… Bram was seriously confused by all this. Rosemary brought Bram out to a special place to tell him what happened inside…

More later…

Moose (w/Mike Bennett) vs Devon Starr

Moose ran Starr intothe corner. Knife Edge Chops by Moose. Moose put Starr up top and Dropkicked him. Starr tumbled out to the floor. Moose shrugged off Dropkicks and then caught Starr as he went for the Suicide Dive. Modified Pup Up Powerbomb onto the apron. Game Breaker (Rainmaker Clothesline).

Your Winner: Moose
Impact Scorecard: 1.0

Mike Bennett was pushing just how big and bad Moose is. That brought out Bobby Lashley. TNA went to break before anything happened.

Moose and Lashley were standing nose-to-nose. Mike told everyone to calm down. Mike knew everyone wanted to see Moose vs Lashley, right now, but it will not happen. Mike demanded that Moose have his back in the Bound For Glory Playoff match. Moose did not want to leave the ring. Lashley mocked Moose for walking off like a little b*tch. Lashley warned Moose “You don’t want this (Lashley)”. Bobby said he wanted to win every single title available. Lashley wanted to destroy the entire roster.

DJZ was next to come out to face Lashley. DJZ wasn’t going to try and Stop Lashley, he wanted to beat him. DJZ said Bobby was not an X-Competitor. DJ challenged Lashley, right now. Lashley gave DJZ the option to choose the match of his choice and Lashley would whip his *ss. DJZ went for the Ladder Match. Bobby said “Let’s Do It!”.

DJZ vs Bobby Lashley
Ladder Match for the X-Division Title

The Finish:

DJZ nailed a DDT on Lashley. DJZ then set up the ladder and started to climb. Bobby met him up top and they punched away. Bobby dropped DJZ with an evil Gorilla Press Drop. Bobby easily reached up and got the X-Belt.

Your Winner: Bobby Lashley
Impact Scorecard: 1.5

Drew Galloway and Ethan Carter III talked backstage. Ethan offered to be in Drew’s corner to counter Moose. Drew rejected it and said he wanted to win this on his own. Drew wanted to face Ethan in the finals.

Rosemary shared a creepy story about a lost love, Johnny. Bram didn’t care about the guy but was there for her to explain what she needed to share. Rosie needed Bram to go with her to “the exact spot” so the ghosts could tell him everything. DON’T Do IT!”

Fact of Life w/Eli Drake

Drake grumbled about a crooked ref costing him a shot at Bound for Glory. Drake mentioned how Lashley claimed he was going to have all the gold. Drake thought it would be a great idea for him to do it, first. Drake felt no one had the stones to come take the King of the Mountain title off him.

Enter “Cowboy” James Storm. Storm told Drake that if James was sober, he would be slapping the p*ss out of Drake. Storm wanted the King of the Mountain title to get in line for the World Title. Storm handed Drake a beer but E-Li rejected it. Storm was irritated that Drake was drinking water. Storm made fun of Drake’s look and then asked for one more match. Drake didn’t feel Storm deserved another chance. Drake tried to dismiss Storm, like that was going to happen. Storm made a remark about Drake’s mom that set E-Li off. Drake said he would fight Storm but if Storm loses, he has to give up beer, the boozer cruiser, country music, etc… Storm accepted.

The two got into it and Drake hit the BFT (Blunt Force Trauma). Drake taunted the knocked out Storm.

Decay and BroMans started fighting in the back.

BroMans (Jessie Godderz and Robbie E) vs Decay (Abyss and Crazzy Steve)
Monster’s Ball Match for the World Tag Team Titles

The Finish:

Abyss pushed Jessie off the top rope and down through a table. Abyss then went and found Janice (his spike-studded 2×4). Raquel (BroMan’s manager/Valet/guru) rushed in nad Low Blowed Abyss. Robbie picked up Janice and threw it at Crazzy Steve. That allowed Abyss to slightly recover and Chokeslam Robbie in onto a board laced with barbed wire and pin him.

Your Winners: Decay
Impact Scorecard: 2.5

“Miracle” Mike Bennett vs Drew Galloway
Bound for Glory Playoff Match #2

The Finish:

Mike went for the Rainmaker Clothesline but accidentally punched the ref. In all the confusion, Moose rushed down to the ring. Moose planted Drew with a Sky High Powerbomb off the top rope. Mike crawled over and went for the pin. 2 count, only. EC3 ran down and got into it with Moose. Moose charged Ethan, only to run into the ring steps.

Ethan saw Maria hand Mike Bennett a kendo stick. Ethan rushed in and took the stick. He swung at Mike but accidentally hit…you saw this coming…Drew Galloway. Drew clutched at his shoulder. Ethan rolled out to the floor and fell to Moose’s Game Breaker. In the ring, Mike took out Drew with his M.I.P. (Miracle in Progress) version of a Sit Out Michinoku Driver.

Your Winner: “Miracle” Mike Bennett
Impact Scorecard: 3.0

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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