WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ IMPACT WRESTLING

Posted July 6th, 2016 by jshannon

The Hardy Brothers brought their feud to an end with “The Final Decision” match. It was to be held in the Hardy Compound. Be prepared for pain and injury.

The show opened with a Do Not Try this at Home thing, in Spanish. That led to Matt and Reby at a Fiesta. I guess he guy is related to Reby. They were sharing presents for Maxell’s birthday. Matt rambled on that he would purge Jeff aka Brother Nero from the Hardy family. Matt said the Final Deletion would happen at sunset. This is like a bad Spaghetti Western. Smile.

Maria Bennett came out to push her hubby, “Miracle” Mike Bennett. The X-Division champion retained his title, last week, thanks to help from Gregory Shane Helms. The announcers explained that the X-Title was just a stepping stone for Bennett. If he still holds the X-Title at Destination X, he can utilize Option C and cash it in for a shot at the World title. Mike ordered the fans to stand and take notice of the greatest X-Division Champion of all time (Amazing Red is in the house?)Mike wanted to cash in Option C, tonight, not next week. Mike needed to be the hero for the fans. Mike askd someone to come down and get the belt so he oculd have the title shot.

He got…Dixie Carter. She so reminds me of my boss lady, Samantha. She’s adorable too. Smile. Mike went off on Dixie about slapping his wife, Maria, a couple weeks back. Dixie accused Mike of disrespecting the title and then men who have held it. Dixie said Mike would have to defend the X-Strap, one more time, before taking advantage of Option C. Dixie put MIke against the entire X-Division Roster in the infamous Ultimate X Match! Sweet!

Mike Bennett vs the X-Division
Ultimate X Match

The ring was filled with wresetlers as Impact returned from break. Eddie went right after Mike. Mike and Eddie went out to the floor. Seveeral stars headed up the structure. Mandrews was thrown ontothe apron. DJZ flew off Trevor Lee’s bck and took out Bennett and Eddie. Rock Star Spud was the first to go across the wires. Braxton Sutter stopped him. Spud ticked off Sutter, who hit a huge Big Boot. Spud seemed to be spitting up blood. He was taken out of the match. Mike hit a Cutter on Braxton. Mike nailed an Enziguri. DJZ flipepd Trevor out of the ring. Andrew took out DJZ but couldn’t get rid of andrews. Mike did it. Flying Cutter by Braxton.

Three men started across the ropes. Eddie was knocked off the ropes. Andrew took DJZ down and hit a wicked German. Andrew helped Trevor to move across the ropes. Mike threw Andrew out. Lee fell off the roeps and went off with Europeans on Mike. Bennett nailed a Spinebuster. Mike looked up and tried to jump for the belt. He fell way too short. Mike didn’t like the idea of scooting across the ropes. Mike started across but fell quickly. Eddie hit a Flying Boot to Mike, who was on the turnbuckles. Eddie got the ropes and used them to set up a Hurancanrana. Andrew rushed in an d blasted Eddie. Eddie hit the Suicide Dive and took out Lee and Helms. Springboard Tristign Dive by Andrew. Braxton then nailed a Top Rope Flip Dive. DJZ was left alone in the ring. Step Up Flip Dive by DJZ. Maria urged her man to get back in and claim his belt.

Mandrews and Trevor Lee fought on the turnbuckles. Mandrews wanted to cross the ropes but had to fight off Everett. Mandrews hit a Oh Holy Crap Moonsault off the structure…almost at the very top! Mike Bennett slid back in the ring. Mike pulled Mandrews off the turnbuckles. Mike was so frustrated that he coulud not get the belt. Mike went under the ring to find a ladder. Eddie Dropkicked the ladder into Mike’s chest. The fans were going wild for the Lone Wolf, Eddie Edwards. Eddie was so close but Mike set up the ladder. Eddie kicked the ladder and made Mike fall. Eddie got the belt!

Your Winner (and NEW X-Division Champion): Eddie Edwards
Scorecard: 4.0 out of a possible 5

You just know Mike is going to be upset about this.

Both Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway have been suspended, due to their post-match altercation, last week. They will still face off..only it will be in an interview. That will happen, later on tonight.

E-Li Drake vs “Cowboy” James Storm
King of the Mountain Title Match

Drake tried to jump Storm before the bell. It backfired and Drake ended up laid out. Huge Back Body Drop by Storm. Corner Mount Punches by Storm. Drake hid in the ropes until he could go to Storm’s eye. Drake drove his elbow into Storm’s chest. Rope Choke by the champ. The ref forced him back. Awkward Leg Drop on the apron by Drake. Drake kicked away at Storm’s ribs as the fans chanted “Dummy” at Drake. Storm kicke dout after a Suplex.

Storm punched away but Drake nailed a Powerslam and Jumping Elbow Drop. 2 count. Drake grabbed his title belt and brought it into the ring. The ref went to take it away from Drake. This gave Storm tons of time to recover. Storm unloaded with wild punches and a Flying Forearm. Storm followed up with Clotheslines nad an Enziguri from the apron. Sling Blade aka Calf Wrangler by Storm. Drake kicked Storm in the chest. Code Breaker by Strom. Storm set for his finisher, the Last Call Superkick. He hit it and Drake tumbled out of the ring. The ref started to count out the champ. Go get him, Storm. Storm broke up the count. Drake grabbed the title belt nad bashed Storm with it.

Your Winner (by Disqualification): James Storm
Scorecard: 3.5

Drake came in and hit the B.F.T. Blunt Force Trauna). Drake took time to mock James Storm.

Eddie Edwards gave his thoughts about being the new X-Champion. Eddie was thinking about Option C and he would decidd later if he wanted to cash in.

Marti Belle vs Jade
Street Fight Match

Jade rushed down nad the fight was good to go. Jade jumped Marti and bashed her in the chest. Marti ran Jade into the ring post. Marti pitched Jde into the ring. Marti then went for the “Toys”. Marti took a cookie sheet and went to bash Jade with it. She had to wait, as Jade used a Double Trip to put Jade on the mat. Marti waffled Jade withthe shtt and then stomped it into Jade’s chest. Marti found a steel chai. Jade kicked her before she got to use it. Marti used a Bulldog to drive a trash can lid into Jade’s throat.

Marti went out and got a few more “Toys”. Marti threw a can lid to Jade and hit a Bicycle Kick to drive it home. Jade blew off the kendo stick shots. Jade hit a wild Headbutt and then went ape with a kendo stick. Jade put a trash can over Marti’s head and bashed it with the singapore cane. Jade moved arti tot he corner nad Jde hit a Dropkick into the can. 2 count.

Jade launched Marti with a Gut Wrench. Marti blocked a Pedigreee and sent Jade into a trash can with a Back Body Drop. Marti found her trusty baton. Jade found some nun chakus. Jade took Marti to town with the sticks o’ doom. Bruce Lee would be so proud. Grin.Jade hit a running Dropkick. Jade placed the steel chair in the middle of the ring. Package Piledriver onto the chair!

Your Winner: Jade
Scorecard: 2.75

Impact took a look at Jeff Hardy’s estate. The yead is really cool with all kinds of designs mowed into the grass. Jeff was being watched by Matt. A drone came up to Jeff’s door and then a bunch of them flew in the house. Jeff bashed them all with his guirar. This was just getting too weird. Matt challenged Jeff to meet him at the property line so they could have the “Final Deletion”. Jeff yelled “Oh Hell No”. That’s what I’m saying about this silly feud. Matt drove a mower to destroy the manicured lawn. Jeez.

Mike Bennett was in the ring and he was not a happy camper. Bennett said no one in TNA deserved him. Bennett screamed he was what TNA needed to survive. Mike was tired of all the stupid jokes, at his expense. Maria said the fans should beg Mike to stay in TNA. Maria orderd Dixie to come out to the ring.

Instead, she got Billy Corgan. Maria was sure Billy could fix this. Maria sucked up to Billy to get him on their side. She wanted Billy to ignore the fans and make HER the TNA President! Seriously? Mria put out the final challenge: Dixie or Maria.

That brought out Dixie Carter. Billy tried to calm down Mike and Maria. Maria moved Mike and Billy between her and Dixie. Marai wanted an answer: You or Me? Maria just couldn’t calm down. Dixie called Maria’s bluff. Dixie promised she was not going anywhere. Dixie was tired of the manipulations. Dixie considered that Mikea nd Maria have turned things into a joke. Mike said if he was not put in the Main Event of Destination X…no, she was just going to put him in. Mike threatened to walk if he didn’t get what he waned. Bye Bye. Billy did what he could to shut Maria up. Billy just screamed at her to Shut Up. Billy said he was fond of both Bennetts but they were acting like spoiled children. Billy said Mike had it all and blew it. Billy said he was going to stand by Dixie and clean this crap up. Billy said if MIke and Maria wanted to walk out the door, he would hold it open for them. Mike then tried to put hte spin on it and said they would not quit, because everyone wants it. Mike promised to ruin Destination X. Huh?

Matt Hrdy waned the Battlefield prepared for Massacre. Senor Bemjamin set up things as he was asked to do. Reby was getting nervous at what was about to happen.

Bobby Lashley was asked about Eddie Edwards’ win. Bobby congratulated Eddie for taking the X-Belt. Bobby warned Eddie that he should keep his title, since Eddie was NOT ready for The Drestroyer.

Raquel, Robbie E and Jessie Godderz vs Abyss, Crazzy Steve and Rosemary
Six Person Tag Team Match

Jessie wanted the creepy music to stop. Jessie pushed Big Brother After Dark. Jessie wanted everyone to look at the monitor. Bram was playing Tonsil Hockey with Bram. Raquel jumped Rosemary and beat her silly. Steve made te tag and then Robbie came in. Double Team by the BroMans male members. Jessie hit a Dropkick to Abyss but Steve dropped Jessie with a Clothesline. Hard Crossfaces by Stve. Rosemary tagged in and worked over Jessie. Abyss then made the tag. Jessie kicked away at Abyss but it had very little effect.

Abyss beat down Jessie with Body Shots. Hard Whip by Abysss into a Corner Splash. Snap Mare and Neck Wrench by Abyss. Jessie started punching away on The Monster. Back Elbow and Spear by Jessie.

Robbie and Steve got tages. Robbie explodedon Steve. Boom Drop by Robbie. Dang. Tag to Jessie. Jessie Dropkicked Abyss. Adonis Lock on Steve. Rosemary jumped on Jessie’s back. Raquel hit a Dropkick and Crossbody onto Rosie. Steve had Abyss CHokeslam him but he hit on the canvas not Robbie. BroDown! 1-2-3!

Your Winners; Robbie E, Jessie Godderz and Raquel
Scorecard: 3.0

Eddie Edwards was in the ring. It was time for him to decide if he would take advantage of Option C. Jeremy Borash ran down Eddie’s resume in TNA. J.B. asked Eddie if he would cash in for a shot at the World title. The fans chanted “No!” over and over. Eddie was proud to be the True X-Division Champion. Eddie knew he had a decision to make. Just as Eddie was about to make his decision…

Bobby Lashley came out to confront The Lone Wolf, Eddie Edwards. Bobby wanted to make Eddie’s decision a lot easier. Bobby said he liked Eddie, just like everyone else. Bobby reminded Eddie that he was the most dominant performer in the business, today. Eddie wasn’t scared of Bobby. Eddie ran down just how tough he is. Eddie warned Bobby to keep his hand off him. Bobby threatened to end Eddie’s career. Bobby told Eddie not to forfeit the title. He preferred a Title vs Title match. The winner will hold BOTH titles at the end of Destination X. Bobby gave Eddie the option to go home and keep his little belt. Bobby said he wouldn’t bother Eddie and Eddie wouldn’t bother him. Eddie knew the smart move was to take his belt nad go home. His heart, however, told him quite the opposite.Bobby and Eddie both agreed to the Title vs Title Match. That is going to be EPIC! Bobby took a cheap shot on Eddie. Eddie then rushed Bobby. Belly to Belly to launch Eddie. Eddie hithe Boston Knee Party as Bobby went for the Spear. Oh, Hell, this one is going to be a definite Match of the Year candidate (if Mike Bennett doesn’t foul it up).

Ethan and Drew were asked to act like gentlemen. Ethan accused Drewof being a “hothead”. Ethan said Drew keeps blaming Ethan for costing him the World title. Drew knew he and Ethan had a lot of similarities but Drew was much more of a wrestler than Ethan. Drew told Ethan that Carter was stnding in his way. Ethan retorted that he has kicked every *ss in the company. Drew said Ethan kept screwing up Drew’s path to get the title belt. Drew challenged Ethan to a fight and Ethan eagerly accepted. Ethan said he wanted a Street Fight against Drew. Ethan promised to kick Drew’s *ss at Destination X.

The ref arrived at a weird spectacle of a ring. Matt ordered the ref to count the pin or accept the submission. The ref was told he will never be allowed to stop things. Matt played a horrible violin piece to summon Jeff.

Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy
Final Deletion Match

The two brothers stood in the darkened ring. The bell sounded and the two slapped and punched away. Matt threw Jeff into the corner. Big Boot by Matt but Jeff bashed Matt on the top. Superplex by Jeff. Flying Headbutt brought Jeff a two count. Jeff went out to finnd a wodden room divider. He Bieled Matt into it and almost got the three. Twist of Hate by Matt. 2 count. Mtt worked over Jeff with a kendo stick. Matt went out o find more things. He brought in a steel ladder and used it to choke his brother. He kept yellign “delete”. Matt bit at Jeff’s fingers. Jeff fought out of a Side Effect and tore off his shirt. Swanton!. 2 count.

Jeff put the ladder between the ropes and hit a Twist of Fate. M att bounced up onto the ladder. Jeff went up and climbed the ladder that put him way up in a tree. Matt moved and Jeff Swantoned the ladder. He did get part of Matt, apparently. 2 count for Jeff. Matt bashed Jeff with a steel chair. Matt then found a Roman Candle! Seriously? Cool effec but damn that is just stupid. You could hardly see due tothe smoke. The crickets were chirping as Matt went looking for his brother.

Mtt screamed “Oh Sh**” as Jeff found his own Roman Candle. Matt hid behind a metal boat. The two siblings punched away. Sleeper by Matt and they fell back into the water. Matt came up but Jeff did not. Willow rose from the river and he choked Matt with the umbrella. Senor Benjamin tried to use a taser on Jeff/Willow but it didn’t work.

Matt found Willow, laid out. Matt scored the 3 count…on Senor Benjamin! Matt kept searching for his brother. Jeff came out of nowhere to attack his brother. Jeff just clubbed away and dragged his brother around. Jeff clampd on a seriously deep Sleeper. Matt appeared to pass out and then Jeff went up top of hte Hardy Structure. Reby handed the candle to Matt. The structure caught fire and Jeff fell off. Matt pulled his brother from the fire and pinned him.

Your Winner: Matt Hardy
Scorecard: 3.0

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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