WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Posted July 5th, 2016 by jshannon

Happy 4Th of July, everyone. One of my favorite people in wrestling made a surprise return to Raw, to try and become one of the General Managers when Raw and Smackdown Brand Split. Who would it be?

There was a huge 4th of July party going on, backstage. R-Truth was doing his rap thing as the food flowed. Goldust was up there with Truth. They got hte entire roster in to party. Suddenly, the Vaudevillains rushed in and did a horrible singing version of he Declaration of Indpendence. They got pelted by food. Miz then cae in with Maryse. iz said he would not allow a WWE Holiday Party end up in a food fight. Miz pushed Smackdown going live and moving to Tuesdays. Miz got blasted with chocolate sauce. Maryse then got pelted with food. Suddenly the spirit of John Belushi took over and the vittles went a sailing. BO Dallas got drenched with punch as he tried to dump it on Enzo Amore. Big Show hit Kane with food and it got ugly. Someone got Double Chokeslammed through a table. It was hard to see who it was since the camera was covered in food. Everyone headed out as it was tie to start the show. It turned out to be Heath Slater that got put through the table. Kevin Owens got a Three Stooges-esque pit to the face. He tripped out.

Roll the opening montage!

Raw was live from Columbus, Ohio, tonight. Lilian Garcia, looking very beautiful, sang a touching rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. I had the honor of meeting Lilian, about six years ago at a Kirk White show in Californaia. She defines the term “Lady”. Smile.

Rusev then made his way out to the ring. Rusev was set to defend his United States title.

Rusev vs Titus O’Neil
United States Title Match

Titus pulled an Apollo Creed-like entrance, dressed as Uncle Sam. Raw went to break before the match got rolling.

Titus had Rusev in the corner. They went into a Colalr and Elbow. Knee Strikes and punches by the champ. Hard Whip but Titus Floated OVer. Tilt-a-Whirl Slam by O’Neil. Titus with a monster Biel. Dang. Titus unloaded with Knife Edge Chops and then Bieled him, again. Rusev used a Belly to Back to send Titus tumbling over the top ropes.

Rusev whipped Titus into the ring steps. Rusev slid in the rign as the ref kept counting. He made it back in at 8. Titus punched away by Rusev surprised everyone with a Dropkick. Rusev put Titus in a Rear Chin Lock. Titus powered up to his feet but didn’t stay there long.

Titus finally got up and broke the hold. Knee Strikes by Titus. The two traded vicious punches. Shoulder Tackle by Titus. Big Boot by the challenger. Corner Splash by Titus into a lift. Snap Powerslam by Titus. Clash of the Titus! 1-2-Kick Out!

Titus tried to stay on Rusev but hte ref forced him back. Thrus Kicks by Rusev to the side of Titus’ head. Accolade!Titus refused to tap out. Finally, Titus had to submit when Rusev shifted his weight on Titus’ back. After the match, Rusev applied the ccolade, again.

Your Winner (by Submission): Rusev
Raw Ranking: 3.0 out of a possible 5

Rusev mocked the fans for their celebrations of the U.S.A.. Rusev drew massive heat for his obvious anti-American rant.

Later on, we will see Miz vs Dean Ambrose in a Champion vs champion match.

Raw looked back to Money in the Bank, where The Club ruined the Dream Match between John Cena and A.J. Styles.

We are going to have a 16-man elimination tag team match, later on. Team America vs Team International.

The Bellas are in Latina Magazine, this month. The Bellas are getting a Spin Off to Total Divas.

The Social Outcasts came out dressed like Minute Men. Heath Slater had his arm in a sling, per the old picture. Bo discussed why they were dressed like Minute Men. Ok, maybe not. Ezo and Cass showed up! Enzo did one of his better promo pieces. He was actually able to run down all the Presidents, in order.

Enoz Amore and Colin “Big Cass” Cassidy vs Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas

Enzo and Bo started it out. Axel slid in and stomped away. Bo came back in and they double teamed Enzo. 2 count, early. Heath played a flute, badly. Axel dropped Enzo and then flew off the ropes. He missed his target.

Tag to Big Cass. He exploded on both foes. Bo was legal. Empire Elbow. Axel was tossed out of the ring. Hige boot by Cass. Bada Boom Shaka Laka!

Your Winners: Enzo Amore and Big Cass
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Enzo put on one of the powdered wigs and danced around.

Raw looked at how Charlotte and Dana were attacking Paige, until Sasha Banks returned and kicked everyone’s butts. Sasha wants the Women’s title.

Charlotte and Dana were in the ring to chat with the fans. Charlotte Woo’d like her dad. Charlotte talked about everyone being jealous of her, because she always becomes the best. Charlotte said Sasha was the most jealous person around her. Charlotte got the “We Want Sasha!” chant rolling. Charlotte claimed Sasha was all hype.

That brought out “The Boss”. Sasha said Charlotte might be champion but she will never be her (Sasha). My little pup just perked up when she heard the name “Sasha” (her name too). Sasha said the only reason that Charlotte has the belt is due to her daddy’s help. Charlotte felt Sasha was just being delusional about being the champ. Charlotte stated that being the champion for almost a year makes her the true Boss. Next week will be the one year anniversary of Sasha, Becky and Charlotte debuting in the WWE Main Roster. Sasha promised Charlotte that hte reign is almost over. Sasha took out Dana but Charlotte hit a Big Boot. Sasha hit hte Back Stabber and BankStatement. Dana pulled Charlotte out of the ring to protect the champion.

Backstage, Dean Ambrose prepared to fight Miz. That match is on deck.

Smackdown goes live in two weeks!

The Miz (w/Maryse) vs Dean Ambrose
Champion vs Champion, Non-Titles Match

Miz grumled about his suit being ruined at the Food Fight. miz dedicated tonight’s match to his wife, Maryse. They were cut off by the arrival of Dean Ambrose.

Go Behind by Dean. Standing Seitch. Shoulder Tckle by Miz. Universal intoa Dean Hip Tossed and Scoop Slam. Dean pounded away. Dean nailed a La Bandera Clothesline. Dean then flew out of the ring to drop Miz. Dean ran Miz into the barricade. Dean then dropped Miz on the barricade. Maryse shrieked at Dean. Miz Crotched Dean on top of the barricade. Raw went to break.

Miz hd Dean down in a Side Hedlock. Dean kicked free and then pounded and chopped Miz. Miz reversed a Whip and kicked hte hanstring, twice. Dean went down hard. Miz kept stomping on Dean’s knee. Dean into a Sunset Flip for a two count. Knife Edge Chops by Dean. Miz held the ropes to avoid a Dropkick. Figure Four Leglock by Miz. Dean just would not give up. Dean turned to reach the bottom rope. Miz didn’t want to let hte move go. Miz kept stoping on the knee. Dean side stepped Miz and sent him sailing over the ropes.

Miz clocked Miz, several times. Reality Check failed as Dean ran over Miz. Miz reversed a Whip but Dean hit the Flying Clothesline Corner Forearm shot and then MIz went up top. Dean caught him and set for the Superplex. Miz blocked it. Miz jumped off he ropes and Dean rolled up MIz for a two. Rebound Clothesline by Dean. Miz rolled out to the floor. Dean flew out of the ring and tookout Miz.

Dean rolled Miz back in the ring and got up top. Standing Savage Elbow failed. Dean blocked the Skull Crushign Finale. iz came back to hit a Big Boot. Miz missed a Knee Strike but Dean was able to connect with Dirty Deeds!

Your Winner: Dean Ambrose
Raw Ranking: 3.0

Dean was starting to leave when Seth Rollins showed up. Seth smiled at his old running buddy and came down to confront him. They stared each other down and Dean gave Seth a “Way to Go” pat and walked past im. Dean stopped at the top of the ramp and looked back at Seth. He rushed down tot he ring. Dean went in and out of the ring. Dean pulled up a chair to watch Seth’s match. JBL was flipping out as Dean joined hte Spanish Announce Team.

Seth Rolins vs Dolph Ziggler
Special Challnge Match

Dolph asked for thi match so he could fight Seth befoe the Brand Extension. I don’t know who thinks the Brand Extension is a good idea, but it is NOT. This thing was a pain in the keister, the first time around, and it won’t be any better this time. That is just MY opinion.

Seth grumbled about Dean being at ringside. Dolph then made his entrance. They are going to announce Brock Lesnar’s Summer Slam opponent on Smackdown.

The bell rang and Dolph went for the leg. Seth reached the ropes. Back Elbow by Seth. Seth yelled at Dean. Dolph went back after the leg. Go Behind by Dolph. Seth baile dout as Dolph came close to pinning him. Go Behind by Seth. Dolph turned things around and took Seth down for a series of two counts. Seth bailed out of the ring due to his frustration. Seth stopped by the announce desk and yelled at Dean.

Dolph waited for Seth to get back in the ring. Kick and clubbing blows and stopes by Seth. Seth worked over Dolph’s neck and yelled at Dean, again. Scoop Slam by Seth. Universal into a wicked Dolph Dropkick. Seth bailed out to avoid the Superkick. Dolph chased Seth aroudn the outside. Neck nap by Dolph. umping Enziguri by Seth. Dolph collapsed and Raw took another break.

Dolph bashed and batered Seth as the match continued. Seth pulled DOlph into the corner, face first. Ouch! Seth headed up top but waited. Dolph ran the ropes to hit a Flying X-Facotr. 2 count. Dolph clutched his knee. Seth lifted Dolph for the Buckle Bomb but Dolph got free. Flying Clotheslines and Corner Splash by Dolph. That led to the Swinging Neckbreaker. Heart Stopped Elbow Drop pulled a two count.

Dolph tuned up the band but missed hte Superkick. Seth hit his own Superkick. Roll Up by Dolph Superkick by Seth. 2 plus count, that time. Seth went to the apron and waited. Springboard Flying Knee failed but Seth kept hte pressire on. Dolph hit a Superkick. 1-2-kick out, again. That was so close.

Dolph ducked a Crescent Kick and hit a wild DDT. Seth blocked the Zig Zag and finishe doff Dolph with the Pedigree!

Your Winner: Seth Rollins
Raw Ranking: 3.5

Seth slid out and got up on the Spanish Announce Table. Helled at Dean that that is how it is done. Seth bellowed that he wanted his wins to be without contraversy. Seth yelled that Roman should be removed from the title match, at Battleground. Seth mocked Roman for being such a bad role model. Dean got fed up and stood up on the table. Seth asked Dean what Ambrose wanted. Seth reminded Dean that Ambrose was the lunatic that stole his title. Seth yelled that he was going to take back his title, at Battleground. Dean threw the belt to Seth and then started beating on his upcoming challenger. Dean caught Seth with a Dirty Deeds, ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!

Raw took another look at the John Cena vs The Club feud. This went back to two weeks ago, when John was fighting Karl Anderson.

Suddenly, the feed cut to a Wyatt Family. Bray said New Day came from a place that does not exist, a place of positivity. Bray wante New Day to join them in their environment. Bray said New Day were living a joke and a fairy tale. Bray said the only true reality was Fear.

Raw ran a promotional piece about Baron Corbin. I like this kid. He reminds me of Sycho Sid, who just destroyed everyone in sight, back in the day.

Hot Dang! Vickie Guerrero returned! Dang she looked good. She was there to put her name in the hat to be one of the new General Managers. Vickie said Smackdown needed a woman like her. Vickie struggled a little with her promo but still did a good one. She wanted to start #Vickierunssmackdownlive. Security came out to take Vickie tothe back. JBL praised Vickie for her return.

Backstage, Big SHow didn’t look happy. Show talked with his tammates: Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, Apollo Crews, Zack Ryder, D’Von Dudley, Bubba Ray Dudley and Kane. Show talked about living the dream. Show knew there were 8 men from around the world that wanted to take them down. Show was sure that not all of them would survive but they would not give up. Amen, brudda.

Vickie shrieked as she was ushered out of hte arena. Dolph came up and Vickie begged him to protect her. Dolph stated that he had no idea who she was.

Breezango sat and watched the next match

Simon Gotch and Aiden English (The Vaudevillains) vs Goldust and R-Truth (The Golden Truth)

Truth and Gotch opened up the match. Collar and Elbow and Gotch hit a Knee Strike and hard chops. Leg Lariat by Truth. Tag to Aiden. Goldy also got hte tag. Clothesliens by Goldy. Goldustin Uppercut. Inverted Atomic Drop to Simon. Goldy punched away on Aiden and hithe Snap Powerslam. Simon made the save. Truth and Gotch went to the floor. Tag to Truth. Solid Gold by Golden Truth!

Your Winners: The Golden Truth
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Time for another Life Lesson from “Coach” Bob Backlund. Bob wanted Darren Young to be “Problem Free”. Bob told Darren to make his problems submit to his will. Bob asked Darren what his submisison hold was. Bob gave Darren permission to use the Crossface Chicken Wing! Cool. Bob screamed that he believes in Drren Young.

John Cena came out to discuss The Club. The crowd was mixed in their reaction to John. John felt the crowd was not as enthusiastic as normal. He tried to ramp up the crowd, but it barely made a difference. John felt the fans might be disappointed. “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” rose from the crowd. John fed off of it. John mentioned the energy he felt when he battled A.J. Styles. John dismissed A.J. for leaning on his buddies, instead of standing on his own. John realized that he has to watch out for The Club, each and every week. John sent it tot he video where The Club cost him a shot at the World title. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows hit a Magic Killer on the stage. John has to constantly look over his shoulder and he was sick of it. He challenged them to Come Get Some.

The Club came out to Styles’ music. Styles expected something patriotic not pathetic. Styles mocked John for whinig about things being unfair. Styles griped about John Cena getting the push in Japan. Styles knew The Powers never wanted him there but they know Styles is real, now. Styles would not allow John to bury him. Styles said Karl and Luke enjoy beating up John almost as much as A.J. does. Styles warned John that Cena has no backup. Styles said John had only himself to blame. John had put himself so high up on a pedistal that no one wanted to approach his level. Styles said The Club were the only ones with B*lls big enough to go afer Cena. Styles promised a weekly beating for John. The Club got ready to beat up John Cena. It was a Triple Team Beat Down. Styles just pounded John’s face into chopped meat. Karla nd Luke took turns stomping away. Suddenly….Enzo and Cass came out!

Enzo and Css rushed down nad took the fight to The Club. The Club was cleared out of the ring. Hell, Yeah!

The Colons were back to push Puerto Rico.

Summer Rae vs Becky Lynch

This match was supposed to happen, last week, but Becky attacked Natalaya (who was at ringside). Raw showed how the feud between Becky and Natalya got started.

Becky and Natalya will fight at Battleground. The bell rang and the two women pushed each othe. Enziguri by Becky hat Summer over-sold. Becky missed a Corner Splash. Summer stomped away at Natalya looked on, from the back. Boot CHoke by Summer. Leg Lariat by Summer brought Summer a two count. Shuni Numaki by Summer. Summer wanted the ref to check for a submission. Becky wasn’t giving up. Summer threw Becky down by her bright orange hair. Bad Suplex botch caused Becky to land on her head. This match was just so sloppy. Small Package by Becky. Clotheslines and Leg Lariat by Becky. Flying Forearm into the Becksploder. 2 count.

Summer kicked through the ropes and Becky put SUmmer in the Dis-Armer!

Your Winner (by Submission): Becky Lynch
Raw Ranking: 1.0 (way too amateurish of a match)

The International Team talked backstage. Chris Jericho was the captain. THe Multinational Alliance was: Jericho, Kalisto, Sin Cara, Alberto Del Rio, Zami Zayn, Sheamus, Cesaro and Kevin Owens. Owens got tired of the bickering and just wanted the team to work together to beat the hell out of some stupid Americans. Kevin then stormed off. They all started towards the ring.

Enzo and Cass did a fun promo for Sonic. It was all about the Bada Boom $5 box.

New Day came out to have some fun. Smile. Michael Cole mentioned the growing feud between New Day and the Wyatt Family. The Wyatts will be on Coach’s ESPN show, tomorrow night. I have to admit that I have yet to catch that show.

Kofi began by talking about the Wyatt Family. They mocked them for being Hillbillies. Big E said they would be bringing a big ol’ bowl of Booty O’s to the Wyatts.

They were all cut off by the arrival of Erick Rowan, by way of the Tron. Braun Strowman also joined in and discussed Screams being music to his ears. Bray said it would be Positivity vs Fear. Bray invited New Day to come face truth in his world. Bray explained that the Wyatts would finish what New Day began. Video out. Xavier Woods looked seriously scared. Kofi accepted the challenge to go to the Wyatt Compound. Big E was also thrilled with the idea. Woods did not want to deal with this. Woods knew that Wyatta nd his family were dangerous. Woods was worreid that New Day would not be able to survive the threat of Bray and the Wyatts. Woods dropped the stick and walked to the back. Big E and Kofi just stood there, stunned.

Just added to Battleground: John Cena, Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs The Club!

Team U.S.A. (Big Show, Kane, D’Von Dudley, Bubba Ray Dudley, Mark Henry, Apollo Crews, Zack Ryder and Jack Swagger) vs the Multi-National Alliance (Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Sin Cara, Kalisto, Sheamus, ALberto Del Rio, Sami Zayn and Cesaro)
16-Man Elimination Tag Team Match

The Multi-National Alliance members came out to their various contry anthems (Canada, Switzerland, Ireland, and Mexico). Team U.S.A. came out to Stars and Stripes Forever. I remember, almost 30 years ago, playing an entire morning of Sousa marches at KNTU FM. 88.1. Smile.

Kevin Owens took the fight To Zack Ryder. D’VOn got the tag as did Sin Cra. Springboard Crossbody but D’VOn kicke dout. Springboard Back Elbow and Springboard Moonsault by Sin Cara. Tag to Bubba. 3D!

Sin Cara– Eliminated

Kalisto hit a Springboard on Bubba after Sheamus hit a Brogue Kick.

Bubba Ray Didley–Eliminated

Break Time!

Cesaro almost elimated D’Von. D’Von bashed Cesaro but Cesaro came back to hit the Cesaro Swing on D’Von. Sharpshooter by Cesaro. D’Von tapped out.

D’Von Dudley–Eliminated

Jack Swagger offered a handshake to his old partner. They did the “We the People” chatn. Amateur takedowns by Jack and then one by Swagger. Patriot Lock. Cesaro roleld through and put Jack into a Sharpshooter, almost. Tag to Jericho. Jack laid out Chris with a Running Clothesline. Jack punched away but Jericho roleld through and tried for the Walls of Jericho. He didn’t get it. Jack caught aFlying Jericho and hit a Rolling Belly to Belly. 2 count.

Jack whipped Chris tothe corner nad hit a Corner SPlash. Swagger Bomb but Jericho got hte knees up. Code Breaker.

Jack Swagger–Eliminated

Kane slid in the ring and waited for Jericho. Goozle to Chris and Kalisto. It all broke odwn into complete choas. Of course, Raw took that exact moment to cut to commercial. Sigh.

Apollo was woring over Del Rio. Back Stabber by Del Rio but he only got a two count. Apollo flipped Del Rio onto the apron. Del Rio came off the top and got Dropkicked! Tag to Mark Henry. He ran over Del Rio, several times. Del RIo kicked away and tagged out to Kalisto. Springboard into the World’s Strongest Slam.

Kalisto–Eliminated

Kevin Owens hit a Pop Up Powerbomb to Mark Henry!

Mark Henry–Eliminated

Zack Ryder rushed in and got Scoop Slammed. Backsplash Senton by Owens. Kevin yelled at Sami to “Do your part’> SUperkick by Kevin. 2 count. Sami rushed in and a Hocky Fight broke out. Sami threw Kevin out of the ring. Kane dropped Sami. Kevin bashed Sami in the back with a chair.

Kevin Owens –Eliminated by disqualifiction.

Kevin hit Kane with the chair. Kane bashed Owens with the chair.

Kane–Eliminated by Disqualification. Huh?

Kane Chokeslammed Sami and then lfet the ring. Apollo hit a Standing Moonsault.

Sami Zayn–Eliminated

Sheamus blasted Apollo.

Apollo Crews–Eliminated

Jericho came in to fight Zack Ryder. Jericho kicked and stomped on Long I sland Iced-Z. Tag to Sheamus. Tag to Del Rio. Alberto kicked away and then sent Zack tothe corner. DDT by Del Rio and tag to Jericho. Lax cover by Chris. Jericho bashed Zack. Cesaro tagged himself into the match. Chris pushed away on Cesaro and Cesaro took all he was going to take. He unloade don his team witht he Uppercut Train. Neutralizer got reversed by Zack.

Cesaro –Eliminated

Jericho jumped Ryder. Chris took Zack tothe enemy corner nad Zack got brutalized. Sheamus took the tag and stood over hte New Yorker. Zack came out of a SUplex to hit a Neckbreaker. Tag to Big Show. He went off on all of the Multi-National team. Show hit a Double Corner Splash on Chris and Alberto. KO PUnch to Jericho.

Chris Jericho–Eliminated

Big SHow Chokeslammed Del Rio.

Albeto Del Rio–Eliminated

Sheamus got up on the aprona dn stared at Big Show. Sheamus said he would not deal with this. Show grabbed Sheamus by the Mohawk and dragged him into the ring. Skillet Slaps to Sheamus’ chest. Corner Butt Bump by Show. Vicious Knee Strikes by Show. Sheamus avoided the Chokeslame and Dropkicked Show’s knee. Zack took the tag and tore into Sheamus. Spinning Powerslam by Zack kicked out at tow. Sheamus rushed SHow and got Goozled. Show shoved Sheamus towards Zack Ryder. Rough Ryder!

Your Winners: Big Show and Zack Ryder of Team USA
Raw Ranking: 3.0

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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