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WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ MAY MAYHEM (TNA IMPACT)

Posted May 26th, 2016 by jshannon

Matt Hardy has completely lost his mind. He manipulated several situations, this week. All to bring down…”Brother Nero”.

Welcome to May Mayhem!

The show opened with a look back at last week’s World Title Match between Bobby Lashley and Drew Galloway. That led to a preview of tonight’s insanity.

Matt Hardy, looking like Elsa Lanchester’s Great Grandson (bonus points if you get THAT reference), came out to the ring. Matt’s voice sounded very odd. Matt was there to block Ethan Carter III’s Road to Redemption. Matt began to sound like one of those scene-chewing actors from the old Hammer Horror films. Smile. Matt was ready to defeat his brother, once and for all. Matt was talking about signing the Full Metal Mayhem match contract.

That brought out Tyrus and Rock Star Spud. Spud was concerned about Matt’s change, over the past few weeks. Spud truly believed in the “Iconic” Matt Hardy. Spud felt he was a better man, since aligning himself with the Matt Hardy Brand. Spud hated the fans for not respecting the Brand. He yelled at the fans to shut up. Spud warned Matt that Hardy was turning into something that was NOT Matt Hardy. Matt countered that he to “Delete Brother Nero”. Tyrus was asked for his thoughts. Tyrus said the feud with Jeff was turning Matt into something…different. Matt offered a 2-on-1 Match Ladder match between Jeff “Brother Nero” Hardy and Spud and Tyrus. If Spud or Tyrus get the contract that Matt would hang, Matt would not fight Jeff at Slammiversary. If Jeff wins, Matt will fight and Spud and Tyrus would be banished from Matt’s side.

Matt Hardy vs Ethan Carter III
Road to Redemption, Final Stage

Ethan had to overcome Matt by way of pinfall or submission.

Collar and Elbow nad Matt worked over Ethan’s back and neck. Ethan came back with Knife Edge Chops and punches. Ethan hit a hard Clothesline. Ethan worked the arm and then hit a Snap Suplex. Ethan sent Matt to the corner but Hardy got the boots up. Matt clubbed Ethan and hit the Funk Neckbreaker. Matt rammed Ethan into the corner and chopped Carter’s chest. Matt stomped away on EC3. He then dropped an elbow. 2 count for Matt.

Matt unloaded with Corner Clotheslines and a Running Bulldog. 2 count. Matt dumped Ethan out of the ring. Matt then came out and rammed Ethan’s face into the ring apron. Ethan returned the favor, in Spades. Knife Edge Chops by Ethan.

Back in the ring, Matt reversed a Whip and hit a Legdrop. Matt cranked away with a Cravat. Ethan punched the ribs. Open Fall Neckbreaker by Matt. Corner Clothesline by Matt but Ethan pushed out of the Bulldog. Ethan nailed a Jawbreaker and watched his foe.

“Miracle” Mike Bennett came out to watch the match. Side Effect by matt but it only scored a two. Mike cheered on Hardy. Ethan blocked the Twist of Fate nad hit a Flapjack. Mike wasn’t enjoying this. Matt avoided the 1%er. Ethan spun around and put Matt in a Kokina Clutch. Mike rushed in and attacked.

Your Winner (By Disqualification): Ethan Carter III
Impact Scorecard: 2.5 out of a possible 5

Interesting twist on this one. Since Ethan did NOT win by pinfall or submission, Carter will NOT get Mike Bennett at Slammiversary. Ethan was taken down. Mike stood over the fallen Carter and mocked him with the news that he would NOT get Bennett at the Pay Per View. That is complete B.S..

Maria Bennett and her apprentice, Allie, walked backstage. Maria had something to say.

Mike Bennett was backstage and happy. Mike was asked to explain his actions. Mike said it wasn’t “action”, it was “Art”. Mike crowed about how brilliant his plan was.

Allie called for everyone to listen to her. She sounds like a poor imitation of Vickie Guerrero. Allie praised her mentor and brought her out to the ring. Whatever. Pope thanked Maria for revolutionizing the Knockouts division.

Maria said she was the Leader of the Knockouts and had an important job…sharing her vision for the division. The fans chanted “We Want Velvet!”. Velvet was fired, last week, thanks to Maria. The fans chanted “Yes, We Do” when Maria mentioned the fans love Velvet. Maria was getting rid of the Knockouts Past to build a better future.

Gail Kim came out to confront “the boss”. Gail was fed up with Maria and her manipulative ways. Maria countered that she wanted Gail to be thrown out. Gail was ticked off that Velvet was dismissed. Maria reminded Gail that Maria is the Leader. Maria explained how she laced up the boots and won the right. Gail threatened to kick Maria’s *ss. Maria mentioned that the two women were not allowed to touch each other. Gail wanted a match with Maria. Maria had a better idea: Gail Kim vs Sienna. If Gail wins, she stays. If Sienna wins, Gail is fired. Sienna Blind Sided Gail. Sienna annihilated Gail and dumped her out at Maria’s feet.

Grado and Mahabali Shera discussed their feud with Al Snow. Grado was set to battle Snow, later on. Grado was ready to fight Snow with weapons. Grado had a turkey leg and a chain (The Equalizer). Shera chomped away on the turkey leg as Grado rambled about getting revenge.

Robbie E and Jessie Godderz chatted on the phone. They were right next to each other but neither one knew it. Robbie wanted to take them to the next level. Robbie said he has found a Secret Guru that would take them to the tag belts for the third time. Robbie said the Guru is going to work.

Gail was asked about putting her career on the line. Gail was tired about the way that Maria has messed up the division. Gail would not be run off.

The Al Snow feud with Grado and Mahabali Shera was explored. Snow was offended by the new kids that were coming into the business. Snow said he was going to close the Open Door of wrestling. He was slamming it shut on Grado, tonight.

Grado vs Al Snow
Street Fight Rules Match

Snow couldn’t believe Grado was stupid enough to challenge “The Crown Prince of Hardcore” to this kind of match. Snow was not going to play that game. He would use his fists as the weapons of choice. Snow called himself “Your Mom’s favorite wrestler”. Snow stood to the side and waited for Grado to enter. Snow did the Pearl Harbor thing for the UK Kid Snow choked Grado and threw him down the ramp. Grado grabbed his recently broken arm. Snow slammed Grado into the ring steps nad punched away.

Snow slammed Grado’s hand onto the ring steps. Snow pitched Grado back in the ring and the match became official. Snow stomped away on Grado. Snow connected with a solid punch to the jaw. Scoop Slam by Snow. Snow went up on the ropes and went for the Moonsault. He totally missed.

Snow went into his tights to find some powder. Grado kicked the stuff up into Snow’s face. Running Boot by Grado. Shera came out with some toys for his buddy, Grado. Trash Can Lid to Snow’s back and butt. Shera threw in the Turkey Leg. He drove it into Snow’s nethers. Bionic Elbow by Grado. Shera then handed the chain to Grado. Grado cracked Snow in the face. Two mysterious guys rushed out. They were both wearing “France” shirts. Grado yelled at the two guys. Snow took advantaged and hit the Snow Plow, after cracking Grado with a can lid. The two guys in the blue sweat shirts rushed in to hug Snow.

Your Winner: Al Snow
Impact Scorecard: 1.25

Snow faked the super emotional crying bit. Yawn. I have no idea who these kids are but I would have to imagine they are Snow’s students. We will learn more, soon enough.

Reby Sky-Hardy came up to try and talk to her husband. Reby explained that she, Tyrus and Spud were just trying to help. Reby said to forget this feud with Jeff and move on. Matt would not hear it. Reby said she and Maxell were Matt’s family. Matt just got up and walked away.

Jeremy Borash was in the ring to discuss last week’s World Title match. There was no conclusive winner and he was about to explain the decision reached by the TNA Board. He was cut off by the arrival of Bobby Lashley. Bobby ordered JB to get out of his ring. Bobby felt that he should be given the World title. He felt that the “20 idiots” cost him the match.

Drew Galloway had heard enough. Drew mocked Bobby for intimidating ring announcers and such. Drew knew Bobby has a “Killer Instinct”. Drew saw fear in Bobby’s eyes, last week. Drew said he survived all that Bobby threw at him. Lashley said he would have destroyed Drew, if not for the Lumberjacks. Drew admitted he was impatient. Drew said there was nothing between them but ropes and air. Drew was ready to fight, right away.

This anarchistic mess was stopped cold by Dixie Carter. Dixie said Lumberjacks didn’t work, so they needed a new plan of action. Dixie put the two of them against each other, at Slammiversary. The match would be “Tap Out or Knock Out”. Interesting concept.

Drew started to leave and bobby told him to walk away “Like a little b*tch”. Drew rushed in and kicked the crap out of Bobby. Claymore and Drew punched away. All kinds of security rushed down and got laid out. Drew pitched Bobby and the security forces out of his ring. Spear by Lashley. Bobby punched away on the World champ. More security rushed in and got their butts handed to them. Bobby Speared Brian Stiffler. Bobby then went after Drew to choke out the Scotland native. The carnage was incredible. Bobby raised his arms to signal his dominance.

Impact ran a highlight video about the X Division and Ultimate X.

Eddie Edwards vs DJZ vs Trevor Lee vs Andrew Everett
Ultimate X for the X Division Title

DJZ and Eddie took the fight to the Helms Dynasty. DJZ was the first to go after the X Belt. Eddie took him off the ropes. Both men clocked each other. Lee pulled Eddie out of the ring. All four men ended up on the floor. DJZ was the first one to get back in the ring. A German Suplex stopped him cold. Everett went after the belt. Lee pulled his partner down and they yelled at each other. Gregory Shane Helms did his best to calm his win down. Lee got help from Everett to get to the belt. DJZ took out Andrew with a Jawbreaker and then brought down Lee. DJZ took both Dynasty members out. DJZ was sent into the Ultimate X structure. Eddie took out both Dynasty members. Top Rope Double Hurancanrana by Eddie.

Eddie was the only man standing and he set his sights on the X Strap. Lee stopped Eddie from reaching the belt. Lee rocked Eddie with a knee to the jaw. CJZ with a Super DDT to Trevor Lee. Damn. DJZ went to cross the ropes to get to the prize. Lee hit a Springboard Dropkick to DJZ’s ribs. It was then Eddie’s turn to go for the belt. He pushed Andrew away. Eddie got the belt but Trevor yanked it out of Eddie’s hands. The ref didn’t see what happened and gave the win to Trevor. Huh? That was a stupid ending to a way too short match.

Your Winner: Trevor Lee
Impact Scorecard: 2.0

Maria talked with her followers, backstage. Maria knew Sienna had a job to do. Sienna knew they were classy ladies and it was time to rip the heart out of the old guard, which means getting rid of Gail Kim.

Ethan Carter Iii was interviewed backstage. He was asked what was next for him. Ethan said Mike reneged on their deal. Ethan said he was about to become Bobby Fischer (greatest Chessmaster of all time). Ethan said he had a phone call to make and it would totally change Mike’s life.

Sienna vs Gail Kim
Career Threatening Match

Gail ripped into Sienna with had punches. Flying Clothesline by Gail. Sienna reversed a Whip but took a boot to the chest. Gail hit a Top Rope Crossbody for a two. Knife Edge Chops by Gail. Gail used her legs to flip Sienna out of the ring. Gail clocked Maria but Sienan jumped Gail. Sienna hit a Hot Shot to send Gail into the metal railing.

Back in the ring, Sienna choked Gail. Sienna nailed a Samoan Drop to pull a two. Hammer Throw by Sienna. Maria grinned at her lackey’s handiwork. Sienna launched Gail with another Hammer Throw. Gail nailed a Reverse DDT. Gail went up the ropes and Maria got involved. She pulled Gail off the ropes. Maria then tossed Gail back into the ring. Gail fought out of Sienna’s finisher and rolled up Sienna to keep her job. Maria was so angry.

Your Winenr: Gail Kim
Impact Scorecard: 2.0

Maria got in the ring and Gail started to kick her butt. Sienna took down Gail and Maria attacked. This was ridiculous.

Spud talked strategy with Tyrus. Spud wanted Tyrus to hang onto Jeff so Spud could scoot up the ladder and get the contract. Reby came in and told the guys to fix this and give her back her husband. Spud wanted Matt back to normal.

The BroMans were ready to meet their Secret Guru. She turned out to be a serious babe. Her name is Raquel. She knew she could help them regain what they wanted. Jessie wasn’t sure how a girl would help them. I did a quick bit of research on this girl. She was trained by Lita, Booker T and Billy Gunn. She put the BroMans through a serious work out.

Next week, Bobby Lashley and Drew Galloway will get to “Pick Your Poison”. That means each man chooses the opponent for the other.

Jeff Hardy vs Rock Star Spud and Tyrus
2-on-1 Handicap Ladder Match

Spud jumped Jeff on the entrance way. Tyrus then took over beating on Jeff. Hardy had been looking for a ladder, at the time. Tyrus rushed and hit the ring post. Jeff found the ladder that he wanted. TNA took a quick break.

Jeff hit the Inverted Atomic Drop/Leg Drop on Spud. Tyrus fought with Jeff for a ladder. Tyrus bashed Jeff with it and then went to work on Jeff’s legs. Spud was directing traffic. Scoop Slam by Tyrus. Top Rope Elbow Drop by Spud. Tyrus told Spud to go get a ladder. Tyrus held Jeff and punished him, in the corner. Spud slid the ladder in the ring and then stopped to kick away on Jeff. Tyrus accidentally laid out Spud with a Corner Splash that went wrong. Jeff then went to town on the Man Dinosaur. Tyrus rebounded to drop Jeff. Tyrus was determined to climb the ladder and get the contract. Tyrus tried to climb but the rungs of the ladder broke under his weight. “You’re Too Fat!” rang out. Jeff laughed at Tyrus and hit a Twist of Fate. Spud went up the ladder but couldn’t reach the contract. Jeff fought Spud on the ladder. Jeff just brutalized Spud with punches. Twist of Fate on the top of the ladder! Jeff set the ladder back up and scooted up to get the contract!

Your Winner: Jeff Hardy
Impact Scorecard: 2.5

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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