CRYSTAL BALL: EXTREME RULES 2016

Posted May 21st, 2016 by jshannon

Crystal Ball: Extreme Rules 2016

Jay Shannon draws upon all his predictive skills to figure out the winners and losers of an upcoming major wrestling event.

It’s time to get extreme. This show will be packed solid with “gimmick matches”. I’m actually ok with that. WWE spices things up, a bit, with “toys” and wild stipulations. I have the day off to watch it and I’m going to truly enjoy going a bit off the beaten path with this craziness. Let’s take a look at the card…

The Club (karl Anderson and Luke “Doc” Gallows) vs The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso)
Texas Tornado Rules
Predictions:

This was a last minute addition. All four men will be in the ring at the same time. Thinking this one through, it’s obviously that the Usos are slipping into the role of Talent Enhancers. They are much better than that but WWE is going with newer teams and such. Since The Club is getting ready to be this generation’s D-X, there is just no way in Hell that Karl and Doc won’t take this one.

Predicted Winner: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson
Predicted Grade: 2.5

Baron Corbin vs Dolph Ziggler
No Disqualification Match

Predictions:

Ok, I will honestly admit that I am bored to tears with this feud. It feels like the Brooklyn Brawler feuding with Duane “Gillberg” Gill, amusing in the short term but stale after 2-3 matches. Baron and Dolph have been going back and forth in a most meaningless contest of One-Upmanship. Dolph is winding down his active career while Baron is just getting really started as a WWE Superstar. I’m going to guess that Baron hits his End of Days thing and sends Dolph to the showers.

Predicted Winner: Baron Corbin
Predicted Grade: 2.0

Kalisto vs Rusev
United States Title Match

Predictions:

This one has me puzzled. I understand the whole David vs Goliath thing but I was thinking the next step was going to be Kalisto vs Sin Cara. Since Creative went with this scenario, I have to think if they are getting ready to reunite the Lucha Dragons and put them back, full time, in the tag team scene. The tag team division is getting somewhat over-populated, right now, so I would normally say Kalisto keeps the strap. With Enzo and Big Cass sidelined due to Enzo’s concussion, I’m going to go with Rusev to take the title and (after recovering his vicious beating) Kalisto goes back into the tag division.

Your Winner (and NEW United States Champion): Rusev
Predicted Grade: 2.0 (because it will be so lop-sided)

Dean Ambrose vs Chris Jericho
Asylum Match

Predictions:

The Asylum cage is so much like the Lethal Lockdown set-up that WWE should pay royalties to Dixie and her crew. Smile. Dean and Chris go in a cage that has all kinds of weapons up top. Get a weapon…get to use it. Since this is “Dean’s” design, it makes sense that he will win.

Predicted Winner: Dean Ambrose
Predicted Grade: 3.0

The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston and/or Xavier Woods) vs The Vaudevillains (Simon Gotch and Aiden English)
Tag Team Title Match

Predictions:

I want Gotch and English to win. The belts need to change hands to keep them relevant and fresh. I just don’t think it’s going to happen. I’m thinking Creative is getting ready to move the belts to Anderson and Gallows. It would make no sense to have two Heel teams feud. I know The Club are Stone Cold-like Tweeners but it would help elevate their heelness to take out the most popular team in the company. So, New Day retains and then drops the belt (probably on Raw episode 1200) to The Club.

Predicted Winners: New Day
Predicted Grade: 3.25

The Miz vs Sami Zayn vs Cesaro vs Kevin Owens
Fatal Four Way for the Intercontinental Title

Predictions:

There are so darn many options with this one. Miz has needed a boost to his career, since all his film work kept him away from the ring. Cesaro should have held gold way before now (singles gold, I mean). Owens is a solid performer that deserves another run with the strap. Sami Zayn is right there, ready to break through to the top level. I just have the feeling that the fans are going to be so disappointed at the end of this one. Miz will weasel around for most of the match and then just pick the bones to retain.

Predicted Winner: The Miz
Predicted Grade: 2.75

Charlotte vs Natalya
Submission Match for the Women’s title
(If Ric Flair comes to ringside, Charlotte will be striped of the title)

Predictions:

I want Nattie to win but she won’t. Ric will pull some kind of stunt. I’m thinking the possible return of the infamous Black Scorpion. Smile. This match will be an excellent contest but will have a crappy ending. I’d just about bet the farm on that one.

Predicted Winner: Charlotte
Predicted Grade: 3.75

Roman Reigns vs A.J. Styles
Extreme Rules Match for the World Title

Predictions:

Ok, let’s be brutally honest….this is going to be a chaotic mess. I’m expecting Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, as well as The Usos, to get involved. Since Seth Rollins is just about ready to return, he is also going to get involved. I’m expecting the massive swerve of Seth coming out and attacking Styles! The follow-up interview, on Raw, will have Seth explaining that HE wants to be the one to end Roman’s title run and regain the championship that he was never beaten for. That will set up a brief feud between Styles and Rollins, leading to a possible Triple Threat at SummerSlam.

Predicted Winner: Roman Reigns
Predicted Grade: 4.0

In Conclusion:

This show should be a decent presentation. We aren’t going to get Steamboat vs Savage but that’s ok. It will be a great representation of what it is billed to be…semi-controlled anarchy. There won’t be any Match of the Year candidates but the fans (myself included) will go home happy.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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