WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE’S MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Posted May 17th, 2016 by jshannon

Dean Ambrose and Chris Jericho took the feud to an even higher level, this week. All this and more as we head to Sunday’s Extreme Rules PPV.

Roll the Opening Montage!

A.J Styles strolled from the back. He’s getting such great crowd reactions. Thank the stars that WWE Creative didn’t bury him like they do most guys that come in from “other places”. Raw looked back at The Club vs The Family, from last week. Styles and Roman Reigns will square off, Sunday, in an Extreme Rules Match.

Styles took his time before he spoke. Styles wanted to set the record straight. He was tired of Roman calling him a liar. Styles had heard it from all over the place, as well. Styles said he, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows were NOT putting together some kind of “Master Plan” to get the world title for A.J.. Styles showed off a bunch of Social Media posts. Styles said this kind of stuff was not new to him. He bragged about his time in Japan and all the titles that he has won, over the years. Styles let it be known that he got to where he is all by himse—

Roman Reigns cut him short. Roman brandished the World Title Belt. Roman slowly walked down to the ring. Roman took a microphone and stared down his challenger. Roman parroted back what Styles just said about winning titles, all around the world. He said none of that matters if you don’t win THE championship, the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. The fans began to chant for Seth Rollins. Roman barely acknowledged the chants. Roman said he would be in the corner when The Usos fought Anderson and Gallows, in the Main Event. Styles said he would be there, as well. Styles mocked Roman’s “The Guy” catchphrase and said he would be “The Guy” on Sunday. Roman warned Styles what might happen at Extreme Rules. Roman talked all tough about how much pain and damage he would unleash on Sunday. The fans were so hostile towards Roman. Reigns said The Usos would be in his corner on Sunday. Styles talked about taking a steel chair to Roman’s head.

Karl Anderson and Luke “Doc” Gallows made their way out. The Usos rushed in to protect their cousin, Roman. Luke and Karl held A.J. back. This little powder keg just didn’t quite explode…at least not yet.

The MIz came out to watch our opening contest. Maryse was with her hubby. She is a very lovely lady, even though I’m not particularly drawn to blondes. Raw went to break before the first match.

Cesaro vs Sami Zayn

Kevin Owens also came out to watch this match. Owens, Cesaro, Miz and Zayn will be involved in a Fatal Four Way for the Intercontinental Title. Miz and Owens got into a War of Words. Owens started talking French to Maryse. No idea what the heck he said. I speak a bit of a few languages but I haven’t spoken French since Junior High/Middle School.

Cesaro Powerslamemd Zayn. Zayn came off the ropes and hit a Hurancanrana that sent Cesaro out to the floor. Zayn faked a Suicide Dive. Cesaro hopped up on the barricade to kick back. Kevin Owens decided this match was boring him. He start to leave but stopped to attack Miz. Owens picked up the IC strap and started to leave. Miz jumped him. Miz and Owens got in the ring and all Hell broke Loose.

Your Winner: Match Thrown Out
Raw Ranking: N/A

Shane McMahon came from the back. Shane put Miz and Owens vs Zayn and Cesaro, tonight. Stephanie then came out to join her brother. JBL was just ga-ga about how great Stephanie looked. Stephanie wanted Miz and Cesaro vs Owens and Zayn. Interesting. Shane agreed that his sister had a better idea. Stephanie warned Owens that if he walked out of tonight’s match, he would be removed from the IC Title Match, Sunday.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn vs The Miz and Cesaro

The fight was already going strong. Cesaro Clotheslined Owens. Kevin went to the ropes to avoid the Cesaro Swing. Sami laughed at Kevin. Owens forced the tag and told Sami to do better. Collar and Elbow and Sami worked on the arm. Cesaro did a ton of Kip Ups and took Sami down with an Arm Drag. Float Over and Deep Arm Drag by Sami. Zayn held on to the arm. Scoop Throw by Cesaro. Cesaro hit the Running European Uppercut. Miz tagged himself in and worked over Sami. Miz hit a Suplex to pull a two count. Sami and Miz both reversed Whips. Kevin took the tag and hit a Backsplash Senton on Miz. Owens talked trash to Sami and almost lost to a Miz Roll Up. Tag to Sami.

Sami hit a wicked Knife Edge Chop on the IC Champ. Hard Whip by Sami. Miz flipped Zayn onto the apron. Maryse distracted Sami and Miz knocked him off the apron. Time for a break.

Miz nailed the Full Body Clothesline, in the corner. Miz then connected with an Ax Bomber. Cesaro then became legal and sent Zayn into the corner. Cesaro missed a Corner Splash. Ax Bomber by Cesaro to get a two. Miz tagged himself back in. Cesaro ws about tired of Miz’s shenanigans. Snap Mare and Running Boot by Miz. Miz turned and clocked Owens. Sami rolled up Miz for a two. Miz sent Sami into the corner. Sami knocked Cesaro off the apron. Sami flipped out and Kevin took the tag. Owens went to town on both opponents. Missile Dropkick and Corner Clothesline set up the Cannonball. 1-2-no.

Cesaro took the tag and pulled the Uppercut Train out of the Station. I like that Owens now has the Canadian Flag on his ring gear. Sami got the tag and rocked Cesaro. Flying Crossbody but Cesaro rolled through. Blind Tag by Miz. Backbreaker by Cesaro. Miz threw Cesaro out of the ring to go for the Miz Swing. Cesaro hit a Skull Crushing Finale on Miz! Owens pulled Cesaro out of the ring. Sami nailed his finisher kick to pull the win.

Your Winners: Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens
Raw Ranking: 3.0 out of a possible 5

Owens came in and kicked the daylights out of his partner, Sami. Owens ordered the ref to raise his hand in victory.

Renee Young interviewed Chris Jericho, backstage. She wondered if he knew what Dean Ambrose would want to talk about. Jericho whined and complained about Dean destroying his $ 15,000 Lite Brite Jacket. Chris was willing to give Dean one chance to apologize.

The Shining Stars (Epico y Primo) were ready to re-debut.

Raw ran a video package about Apollo Crews. I love his Crews Control Sit Out Spinning Powerbomb.

The Shining Stars (Epico y Primo) vame out to the ring. They spoke in a mix of English and Spanish. Yawn. Primo said the ring was their little corner of Puerto Rico.

Primo y Epico vs Scott Jackson and Brian Kennedy.

I never thought I would miss Los Matadores but Damn I want them back. Primo opened with Scott Jackson. Epico hit a Clothesline. Epico nailed a Brainbuster. Tag to Scott’s partner, Brian Kennedy. Double Underhook Gutbuster. Tag to Primo. Shining Star Finisher to Brian.

Your Winners: The Shining Stars
Raw Ranking: 1.0

The Shining Star Finisher is a modified High/Lo combination. After the match, Epico and Primo started rambling on about Puerto Rico. Not on my list of places to go, to be honest. I did find out this past week that I’ll be heading to Ireland and England, early next year. Going to see a few old friends that live in London and Leeds. Go Rhinos!

John Cena will be back in 2 weeks. I believe that will be on episode 1200, if my count is correct.

Dean Ambrose came out to chat with Chris Jericho. This was your first Hour Turner segment. Raw showed Chris slamming Mitch, the potted plant, into Dean’s head. Last week, Dean ripped up Jericho’s beloved lighted jacket. On Smackdown, Jericho put Dean in a Straight jacket and hit a Code Breaker. Hmmm…Straight Jacket Match?

Dean knew people questioned his stability. Dean felt like he was in jail or in an asylum when Jericho strapped him in the jacket. That made something snap in Dean and he ordered Jericho to get out there and talk to him. Jericho took his sweet time coming from the back.

Jericho told Dean to shut his mouth and listen to him. Chris demanded an apology from Dean for destroying the Lite Brite Jacket. Jericho wanted his $15 Grand back. Chris screamed at Dean to give him the money and an apology. Chris told the crowd to be quiet so Dean could do what he was told to do. Dean said an apology wasn’t happening. Dean challenged Chris to a match at Extreme Rules. Chris wasn’t surprised that he wasn’t getting the apology. Chris blindly accepted the match. Dean wanted to make sure that Chris understood that this was Extreme Rules. Chris said he was the true Lanatic in the company. Dean just nodded as Chris rambled on. Jericho said he was scared FOR Dean, not of him. Jericho swore he would have no remorse for what would happen on Sunday. Jericho struck the Raven Pose. Dean had a gift for Chris.

A cage lowered from the ceiling. Dean welcomed Jericho to an ASYLUM MATCH! This was similar to TNA’s Lethal Lockdown format. There were all kinds of “Toys” hanging from the top of the cage. Dean explained this would not be Extreme Rules but, no, it was No Rules. Dean said there was no escape from the Asylum. Dean promised that Chris would scream, cry and beg for mercy. Dean promised that Jericho would never, EVER be the same…Again! Chris was on the verge of freaking out as he saw the craziness that he was facing.

Dana Brooke and Becky Lynch were hanging out, backstage. Dana insulted some backstage guy. She so reminds me of a few girls that I knew back in school.

Sending out best wishes for a speedy recovery to Emma. She is dealing with an injured back. Emma introduced Dana Brooke.

Becky Lynch vs Dana Brooke

Athletic little minx that Dana. Becky was ready to whip Dana’s arse. The two women went to the corner and the ref ordered the break. Knee to Becky’s ribs. Shoulder Tackle by the Irish Lass Kicker. Becky mocked Dana. Dana went to the floor and threatened to leave. Becky flew off the apron but Dana moved. Dana threw Becky into the barricade and then back into the ring. Dana just wailed on the orange-haired battler.

Dana put Becky in a weird Pretzel Twist submission move. Becky used her free leg to kick the crap out of Dana. Becky went to town on Dana but Brooke came back with a Tilt-a-Whirl Slam. Becky kicked out at two. Becky hit a Back Elbow and tried for a Roll Up. She had to settle for Clotheslines and a Dropkick. Dana rolled to the corner. Flying Forearm to the corner and kick by Becky. Becksploder gave Lynch a two count. Dana tripped Becky on the top. Becky went for a Sunset Flip but Dana sat down.

Your Winner: Dana Brooke
Raw Ranking: 2.0

Raw looked back at the Chi-Town Screwjob of Natalya by Charles Robinson and the Flairs. There will be a contract signing, later on. You know those things just NEVER go well.

Bob Backlund and Darren Young talked. Bob was super tough on his new protégé. Backlund just didn’t get new technology. It was a fun way to “Make Darren Young Great Again”.

Stephanie and Shane chatted in the office. Stephanie didn’t understand why Shane didn’t run the Asylum Match by her before booking it. Someone wa at the door. It was the Dudley Boyz. Bubba Ray said they were there to help the McMahon Kids. D’Von said they wanted to show off the Attitude Era to the New Era guys. Stephanie didn’t want to give the Dudleys a couple of little guys. Shane talked brought up Big Cass. Shane told the Dudleys to figure out whether Bubba Ray or D’Von would take out Colin Cassidy.

The Golden Truth was ready to debut. A highlight reel of their journey ran. I know Goldust was on Facebook, a little earlier today, to push the #GoldenTruth thing. They had some growing pains but things now seem to be worked out.

Golden Truth (Goldust and R-Truth) vs Tyler Breeze and Fandango

Goldy danced oddly as Truth did his rap thing. Truth looked ready to bust up laughing. Raw went to break before the match got rolling.

Golden Truth worked over Tyler. Fandango got the tag and chopped away at Truth. Double Clothesline took Truth and Fanny down. Tag on both sides. Goldy dropped Tyler and hit the Inverted Atomic Drop. Fandango came in and got blasted. Goldustin Uppercut to Tyler. Spinebuster but Fandango made the save. Truth accidentally Clotheslined Goldust.

Your Winners: Breezango (Tyler Breeze and Fandango)
Raw Ranking: 1.0

Golden Truth had a little dissention, after the match, but things will get better. Maybe.

R-Truth tried to patch things up with Goldust, backstage. Truth asked Goldy not to be “like that’. Truth said they just needed to work out the kinks. Truth knew the WWE Universe wanted the Golden Truth. Truth wanted the Golden Truth and knew that Goldy wanted it, as well. Fandango came in and called Truth and Goldy the “Golden Girls”. That was enough to put Goldyi n the right mindset. Big hugs by both men.

New Day came out for one of their fun segments. There was something in the ring, covered by a black cloth. New Day have been tag champs since last year’s Summerslam. They pushed Booty-Os. They talked about the Vaudevillains. They removed th tarp to reveal an empty refrigerator box and a sticky keyboard. Woods claimed it was a time machine. Oh dear Lord. Woods told the guys to get inside the time machine. The lights did weird stuff and sounded like an old episode of Lost in Space. Kofi came out to his old SOS theme music. He suddenly had his old Jamaican accent. They went back in a d the bad sound effects kicked in, again. The screen suddenly went to black and white. Kofi said the By Gone Era…sucks.

Suddenly, Simon and Aiden hit the ring and took the fight o the members of New Day. They threw Woods into the “Time Machine”. Gotch and English stood dominant over their fallen foes.

Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows (w/A.J. Styles) vs Jimmy and Jey Uso (w/Roman Reigns)

All six men stared each other down. The ref did his best to restore order. Karl began the battle against Jimmy. Karl took Jimmy over with the Side Headlock Takeover. Karl went into the Universal but jimmy hit a variation of the Sling Blade. Tag to Jey. Corner Flying Forearm by Jey. Knife Edge Chops by Jey. Jey nailed a wicked Uppercut. Anderson got sent over the top. Luke then got nailed. The Club got together to talk strategy.

Luke took the tag and stalked Jey. Jey dodged Luke and hit several hard shots. Luke hit a hard Scoop Slam after sending Jey to the ropes. Elbow Drops by Luke helped him get a two count. Headbutt by Luke and tag to Karl. Gallows left with a cheap shot to Jey. Karl choked Jey on the middle rope. Jumping Kick by Karl to pull a two. Tag back to Luke.

Gallows clamped on a Rear Chin Lock, off the Legdrop. Uppercut by Luke but he missed the Legdrop. Jimmy got the tag and worked over both Club members. Jimmy measured and clocked Luke. Jimmy hit a Corkscrew Moonsault and almost got the pin. Dang. Luke was thrown out of the ring. Jimmy flew off the ring steps and dropped Luke. Jimmy tossed Luke on the apron but stopped to jaw jack with Styles. Roman then came over as Luke decked J Jimmy. Cut to commercial.

We’re back and Jimmy went off on Karl with Knife Edge Chops. Karl came back with a brutal Clothesline. Tag to Luke. “Doc” punched the ribs on Uso. Jimmy fought out of the corner but only by a few feet. Karl took the tag and went after Jimmy> Uso flipped Karl up and over the top rope. Tag to Jey. He flew out of the ring and started to punch away on both Clubbers. Karl was thrown back in the ring. Crossboody off the top to pull an Uso two. Samoan Drop by Uso. Rikishi Run gave the Usos another two. Roman and Styles screamed at their respective men. Karl ran the ropes and kicked Jey in the face. Karl screamed at Jey and went for a Top Rope Superplex. Jey blocked the move. Jey pushed Karl off the ropes and then jumped down. Anderson Spinebuster to give Karl a near fall. Karl couldn’t believe that Jey kicked out.

Karl hita Rocket Kick to launch Jey across the ropes. Superkick by Jey but Luke made the save. Jey was tossed into the corner. Superkicks to Luke. They then hit one to Karl. Jey went up top and hailed the Superfly Splash.

Your Winners: The Usos
Raw Ranking: 3.75

Styles and Roman stared each other down. L uke Gallows jumped Roman. That brought the Usos back in. The fight spilled out to the floor. Styles picked up the steel chair but never got to use it. Roman clocked Styles and dropped hi. Roman then grabbed the chair. He waffled Styles’ back. Luke came in to fight but a Superman Punch laid him out and then one took out Karl. Styles worked over Roman with the steel chair. Styles pulled Roman in for the Styles Clash…on the chair!

Raw reviewed what just happened during the 2nd Hour Turner segment.

Big Cass (Colin Cassidy) vs D’Von Dudley

Colin took the stick and did a promo about having a problem with the Dudley Boyz. He called D’Von the “Steve Urkel of wrestling”. Cass then called Bubba Ray the “Fred Flintstone of pro wrestling”. Cass didn’t care which Dudley he would get. The Dudleys intro music cut him off.

D’Von and Bubba Ray were both ready to fight Cass.

“How ya Doin’?” rang out. D’Von left the ring and Dudley found a table. D’Von jumped the distracted Cass. D’Von worked over Cass and threw him down by the hair. The ref read D’Von the riot act. Cass kicked D’Von into Bubba Ray. East River Crossing by Big Cass.

Dang.

Your Winner: Big Cass
Raw Ranking: 1.25

Cass then finished his “S-A-W-F-T” promo.

Raw looked at how Ric Flair rushed down to the ring during the Charlotte vs Paige match, last week> Shane came out and had the refs ready to get rid of Ric. Paige rolled up Charlotte for the shock win.

Raw took a look at why John Cena has been gone for several months. He is on his way back. We need him back, since so many are out with injuries.

Kalisto vs Alberto Del Rio
Non-Title Match

Raw looked at how Kalisto helped Sin Cara beat Rusev, last week.

The two locked up and Kalisto sent Del Rio to the roep. Shoulder Tackle but Kalisto kicked away, once he got to his feet. . Del Rio put Kalisto on the top rope and tried to rip off the mask of the Luchadore. Del Rio put Kalisto in the Sullivan Tree of Woe and kicked away. Sin Cara watched from the back. Rear Chin Lock by Delr Rio.

Kalisto spun up to his feet and got punched by Del Rio. Del Rio sent Kalisto to the ropes. Tilt-a-Whirl head Scissors by Kalisto. Del Rio was sent over to the apron. Kalisto kicked the knees and then went for a Hurancanrana off the apron. Del Rio caught Kalisto and spun him into the barricade. Break time.

Del Rio had Kalisto trapped in the Rear Chin Lock. Kalisto got free and kicked away. Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker by Alberto. Alberto got on the ropes and flexed. Del Rio flew off the middle rope to drop Kalisto. 2 count. Del Rio sent Kalisto into the corner, shoulder first. In the back, Rusev attacked Sin Cara. The video aired on the Tron and Del Rio made Kalisto watch this. Rusev dragged Sin Cara from the back.

Del Rio hit a kick and Dropkick. Both men were down and stunned. Kalisto rushed and hit the ring post. Charles Robinson checked to see if Kalisto needed to stop. Del Rio worked over the kidneys of his masked foe. Kalisto was hung up in the ropes. Del Rio went up the ropes but took way too long. Kalisto tripped Alberto, who fell into the turnbuckles. Unziguri set up the top Rope Rana. Neither man could follow up.

Rusev brought out Sin Cara and continued to brutalize Kalisto’s partner. Kalisto planted Alberto Del Rio and got the two. Rusev yelled at Sin Cara in Bulgarian. He threw Sin Cara into the ring post, over and over. Back Stabber by Del Rio.

Your Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Raw Ranking: 2.25

Rusev got in the ring and kicked Kalisto in the back of the head. Rusev bellowed that he was going to Crush. Accolade to Kalisto. Kalisto shrieked in pure agony. Robinson called for more help. The refs couldn’t make Rusev release the hold. Finally, when Rusev was ready, he let go of Kalisto. Rusev went over and got eh US title belt. He yelled at Kalisto and threw the title belt onto the current champion.

Dolph Ziggler vs Baron Corbin in a No DQ Match has been added to the Kick Off Show.

The McMahons came out to the ring.

Women’s Title Contract Signing

The siblings discussed the Women’s title match, as well as a few other battles. The Women’s title will be contested in a Submission Match. Stephanie introduced Charlotte but Ric Flair came out, instead. Ric did the honors of introducing his beloved daughter, Charlotte. JBL did a quick history lesson about Greensboro. Michael Cole chimed in about Flair’s first match, which was in Greensboro, against the man who became Big John Studd. I have that match, I think, on the great DVD collection that Jim Cornette made available.

Shane then brought in Natalya. Nattie shook hadns with the McMahon kids. She thanked Stephanie and Shane and then wanted to get something off her chest. Nattie wanted to know what happened to Charlotte. Nattie called Ric “Creepy”. Natalya waned to face the old Charlotte but that version is long gone. Shane asked Nattie to sign the contract. She was more than happy to do just that.

Charlotte mocked Nattie for her comments. Charlotte said Nattie was delusional. Charlotte said the North Carolina crowd was a group of “Her People”. She drew serious heat when she tried to make herself better than them. He called herself a “Goddess”. Charlotte would not allow them to boo a Flair. The two Flairs Woo’d. Charlotte made her dad stop trying to compete with her for attention. Charlotte taunted Nattie for being a Hart that would just Tap Tap Tap. Shane felt it was time for Charlotte to sign. Charlotte didn’t like being interrupted. Charlotte and Ric looked over the contract. They found something that they didn’t like. Shane explained if Ric came out to ringside, in any way, Charlotte would have the Women’s title stripped from her. Shane called Security to come down and join them. Stephanie warned Charlotte that if she refused to sign the contract, she would immediately forfeit the Women’s title. Charlotte signed it. Ric went off on Stephanie until Shane stepped in and asked Ric to back down. Ric threatened to get into it with Shane. Charlotte told Ric to calm down. Shane asked Ric to not do this. Shane did have respect for Ric but he would not back up from Flair. Stephanie pushed Shane back. Stephanie stepped up and slapped the taste out of Ric’s mouth. Yeah! Security ushered Ric to the back. Nattie tripped Charlotte and put her in the Sharpshooter. Charlotte tapped out! Nattie finally let her go and Nattie’s music hit.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@gmail.com

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