WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE’S MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Posted March 29th, 2016 by jshannon

WWE rolled out all the major players for this week’s lead-in to Wrestlemania. They had one more induction to the Hall of Fame, in the Celebrity Wing (Sad Face). We were live from Brooklyn, NY.

The lights went down and Undertaker’s music brought the fans to a crescendo of glee. Taker slowly worked his way through the blue-purple fog and flames to make his way to the ring. This Sunday, Taker will battle Shane McMahon. If Taker loses at Mania, he will be gone, for good, from Wrestlemania. The fans were almost unanimously in support of the “Dead Man”. Taker said this would NOT be his last Wrestlemania. Taker made it clear that he bears no responsibility for what would happen to Shane. Taker suggested that Vince McMahon may well give up some of his blood to Undertaker.

Taker stated “Wrestlemania is My Yard. Hell in a Cell is My House”. He said Shane would “Rest in Peace”.

Out came Shane-O Mac. Shane said he was fighting to win and Undertaker was fighting…not to lose. Shane was certain he would crawl into the ring, next Monday night, to take control of Monday Night Raw. Shane realized he might have to destroy Taker’s legacy to cement his. Taker warned Shane not to discuss Taker’s legacy. Shane walked straight down to the ring. The fans couldn’t believe Shane got up in Taker’s face. Shane brought up the loss, two years ago, to Brock Lesnar. Poke the angry dog with a BIG verbal stick, Shane-O. Taker said Shane was just like his “old man”. He called Shane “Your Daddy’s B*tch”. Shane tore into Taker but Taker covered up. Taker threw Shane up and over the ropes. Taker came out and began to dismantle Shane. Taker took apart the announce table. Shane did try to fight back. “This is Awesome” rang out. Taker went for the Last Ride but Shane got free. Back Kick and punches by Shane. Shane cracked Taker in the face with a monitor. Shane bashed Taker in the face with the monitor and then stared up at the corner. Shane rolled back I the ring and scaled the ropes. Savage Elbow to the announce table! Holy S**T! rang out from the Brooklyn crowd (and from me, as well)! “You still got it” was the next chant to ring out. Shane used the ring steps to get to his feet. Damn!

Shane started to walk off but Undertaker just sat up, old school style. Taker did the Throat Slice but Shane just pointed at the Wrestlemania sign. This match may well be one of the best of the night.

Zack Ryder vs Chris Jericho

Jericho got into it with Zack Ryder, before the show started. Jericho was determined that both Ryder and A.J. Styles would NOT have a Mania Moment. A.J. Styles came out before the match got rolling. Styles clarified that Jericho refused to face him at Wrestlemania. Styles couldn’t believe Chris would rather sit out Mania than face him. Styles said he would not leave until he got the match he wanted. Styles pulled up a seat to watch the match.

Zack rolled up Jericho and almost pinned him. Chris flipped Zack out to the floor. Basement Dropkick by Y2J. Chris screamed at Styles and continued to abuse Zack. Ryder came back with Forearms but Jericho stopped him cold. Double Boots and Missile Dropkick by Zack. Flying Forearm by Ryder. Jericho went for the Walls of Jericho but A.J. started the “Y-2-Jackass” chant. Zack rolled up the distracted Jericho for the win!

Your Winner: Zack Ryder
Raw Ranking: 1.5 out of a possible 5

Code Breaker to Ryder. Jericho snapped and bashed the ring post with a steel chair. Chris demanded a house mic. He yelled at the fans to shut up. Jericho called Styles “a stupid idiot”. Jericho accepted the match against A.J. Styles. Sweet! Jericho called Styles “a Rookie”. Jericho guaranteed that Sunday would be Styles’ LAST Wrestlemania. Jericho promised that Sunday would be the worst night of Styles’ life.

Sasha Banks was sitting at ringside for the next match.

Becky Lynch vs Charlotte (w/Ric Flair)
Non-Title Match

The bell rang and the two women pushed each other. Becky ducked Charlotte and threw her around with Deep Arm Drags. Charlotte kneed Becky. Becky reversed a Whip and Charlotte did the Flair Flop. Charlotte dropped Becky and she poised to taunt Sasha. Break time.

Charlotte tore into Becky with vicious Knee Strikes. Becky flipped Charlotte forward. Charlotte came back to strike Becky. Lynch came off the ropes to drop the Divas champ. Becky then hit a Corner Splash and BeckPlex. 2 count. Charlotte blocked the Dis-Armer and almost pinned the Dublin Darling. Flair Chop by Charlotte. Springboard Thrust Kick by Becky. Sasha stood up and got up in Charlotte’s face. Becky chased Charlotte around the ring. Becky kicked Ric away. Natural Selection! (Rolling Necksnap).

Your Winner: Charlotte
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Renee Young interviewed Mr. McMahon. Renee wondered if Vince was surprised at what Shane did, earlier in the night. He wasn’t. Vince felt Shane was afraid of Taker so Shane was ready to do everything to destroy Taker, before the match. Vince also knew that Shane wanted everything in WWE and would do everything possible to get control. Vince loved that Shane has angered Taker.

Shane walked up to his dad and said it was a good thing he wasn’t Vince. Shane taunted his father for Vince’s arrogance. Shane said he was going to take 40 years of pent up frustrations and unleash it on Undertaker. Shane made it clear “You (Vince) stole this company from YOUR father. I’m taking it from mine”.

So, I was scanning through Facebook and learned that someone that I highly admired has passed. Mother Angelica (from EWTN) died this past week. When I went through my major health crisis, way back in 2001, it was Mother Angelica that was on my TV to bring me the message of love and peace from Heavenly Father. I hope she rests well and finds the highest of honors on the other side. God Bless, dear lady, and thank you for helping me to find my lost faith.

Raw looked at Shawn Michaels vs Ric Flair from several years ago. That match was epic. Shawn ended Ric’s career with Sweet Chin Music.

The announcers then began to discuss the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. The Social Outcasts were ready to cut promos but they were shut down by the arrival of Big Show. Kane quickly followed Show to the ring.

Kane and The Big Show vs Curtis Axel and heath SLater

Kane pushed Axel away. Today would have been Curt Hennig’s birthday (Axel wished him a happy birthday). The ring quickly filled up and an impromptu Battle Royal got rolling.

Your Winner: Match Thrown Out
Raw Ranking: N/A

Show and Kane threw out everyone else, except Mark Henry. Double Chokeslam to Mark! Bo Dallas rushed Show and got caught. Quad Chokeslams to every member of the Social Outcasts by Kane and Big Show.

Raw flashed back to last week, when Roman Reigns jumped HHH. Roman tore into HHH until the champ could get in the limo and run away.

Triple H made his way out for the first Hour Turner segment. Stephanie McMahon was at his side. They walked down to the ring, together. Stephanie went off on the audience and told them to pay proper respect to the 14 time World Champ.

HHH took over and said only six days stood between him and Wrestlemania. HHH knew everyone was watching to see him defend the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. HHH was certain that each and every fan has had the dream to hold the World title high in victory. HHH then brought up Roman Reigns, who was a 1-in-a-Million athletes that could become champion. HHH then mocked Roman for losing his first title in 5:15. Sunday will be HHH’s 20th Wrestlemania appearance. HHH admitted that he has been obsessed with fame, power and money that come with being the champ. HHH claimed to be the most successful WWE Superstar of all time. HHH thought he had retired the obsession but it was still there. HHH credited/blamed Roman for bringing back the fire of HHH’s obsession. HHH didn’t like being forgotten about by the fans. He also was offended that Roman would dare to put his hands on the champ. HHH alerted Roman that Reigns has already lost on Sunday because he ignited HHH’s passion, once more. HHH promised to walk out of the title match, still the champion. Stephanie echoed her husband’s sentiment.

Enter Roman Reigns. Roman didn’t come through the crowd but down the ramp. He ran to the ring. HHH stomped away on the big Samoan but Roman kept coming. Uppercut by Roman. HHH tried to bash Roman, only to get decked. Stephanie quickly backed off the challenger to her hubby’s title. The fans were actually hostile towards Roman. Raw cut the segment short.

USA will do the Kick Off Show for Wrestlemania, this year.

A video ran about training that was a promo for Tap Out.

HHH and Stephanie walked in the back.

New Day came out to the ring. Raw looked back at how The League of Nations decimated New Day, recently. New Day got a decent pop from the crowd. The pushed Booty-O’s, which got its own chant. Big E said the League would never have their own Booty-O’s.

Kofi Kingston vs Alberto Del Rio

The full League was at ringside, as was Big E and Xavier Woods of New Day. There was almost a gang fight before the bell.

Del Rio sent Kofi to the ropes. Del Rio missed the Skidmark. Woods played “La Cucaracha” on the trombone. Too funny. Kofi laid out Del Rio off the distraction. Inverted Superplex sent Kofi out to the floor. Raw went to break.

Kofi kicked out of a pin, as Raw returned. Rear Chin Lock by Del Rio. Woods worke over Del Rio’s ribs. Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker by Del Rio. Del Rio locked Kofi in the Sullivan Tree of Woe. He bashed and battered the tag champ. Del Rio went up top but missed the Double Stomp. Kofi pulled himself up and hit a Turning Ax Bomber. SOS by Kofi brought a two count. Back Stabber by Del Rio. Thesz Press by Kofi for a two plus. Kofi missed a Corner Slash. Double Stomp, in the corner, by Del Rio. Del Rio took way too long, posing. Kofi countered the Cross Armbreaker and rolled up Del Rio for the win.

Your Winner: Kofi Kingston
Raw Ranking: 2.5

The Coach made his way from the back. Coach praised New Day for being his favorite guests. Coach announced that Sports Center will be at Wrestlemania. Coach danced with New Day.

The announcers ran down the lineup on WWENetwork, this week. I am interested in NXT. I hear that a certain fantastic import from Japan will make his debut.

The cameras focused on the locker room of Brock Lesnar. He will be out, soon.

The announcers announced the next Warrior’s Award winner…Joan Lunden. John Cena broke the news, earlier today. Joan has been doing so much to help Susan G. Komen. She most certainly deserves this great award. She isn’t the person I was talking about in my opening paragraph. He will be announced in a bit.

Raw went back to the opening segment to watch the fight between Shane McMahon and Undertaker.

Roman Reigns was interviewed by Renee. The interviewed was broken up by the arrival of Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba told Roman to come finish what they started, last week. D’Von walked up to join his “brother”. Roman tor e into both Dudleys. HHH then came out of nowhere to Triple Tam Roman. Bubba talked trash and HHH kept punching away. Bubba threw Roman into a wall. They all kept saying that Roman wasn’t all that tough. HHH told Roman that Reigns would never get the strap. He smacked him, once more, and walked away.

Kalisto vs Konnor
Non-Title Match

Viktor was at ringside. Kalisto tried to roll around but Konnor clocked him. Seated Rear Chin Lock by the Ascension member. Kalisto punched loose. Hard Whip but Konnor missed the Slash into the corner. Enziguri and Drop the Dime by the US Champ> Corscrew Back Elbow by Kalisto. Konnor blocked the Hurancanrana. Solena Del Sol by Kalisto.

Your Winner: Kalisto
Raw Ranking: 1.25

Viktor wanted to attack but Kalisto sent him flying. Ryback charged down to the ring. Ryback will challenge Kalisto, on Sunday, for the US title. Kalisto refused to back down from the Big Guy. Ryback shrieked at Kalisto and then left the ring.

Paul Heyman came to get his Beast (Brock Lesnar). Brock will be out for the 2nd Hour Turner segment, next.

Brock Lesnar got a monster pop from the New York crowd. Paul did his typical intro. Paul insulted the daylights out of Dean Ambrose. Paul knew Dean was a lot smarter than people think. Paul made sure to mention that “Weapons” would be a part of the Brock v Dean match. Paul gave a prediction that Brock would…

Be cut off by the arrival of Dean Ambrose. Dean had a big red wagon that he pulled to the ring. It had stuff inside but we couldn’t see, at first, what the Toys were. Dean began to pull out stuff like a crowbar, baseball bat, Barbie, Charlie 9the chainsaw), a fire extinguisher, a pipe, nun-chakus, Brock was almost amused as Dean loaded up the cart, which already had some stuff in it. Dean even put the ring steps in his little red wagon. Brock had his own kendo stick. Dean struggled to take the wagon up the ramp.

The Authority will return, shortly, to finish their promo from earlier.

Paige (w/Team Total Divas) vs Emma (w/Bad and Blonde)

There will be a 10-Diva tag team match at Mania. Go Behind by Emma. She pounded on Paige and flipped her over. Emma pulled on the arms of her foe. Slider Dropkick by Emma brought a two count. Emma stomped away on Paige. Slider Crossobdy, in the corner, by Emma. Paige went off on Emma with Thrust Kicks. 2 count. Fallaway Slam by Paige. The groups got into it. Lana took out Paige with a Thrust Kick. The ref didn’t see a thing.

Your Winner: Emma
Raw Ranking: .5

Brie and Lana tore into each other. That expanded into a 9 girl Cat Fight. Suddenly, Eva Marie became the 10th member to get involved. She went right after Lana. Guess Team Total Divas has a full roster, now.

Backstage, Goldust was confronted by R-Truth. Truth mentioned he couldn’t have Goldy’s back in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Goldy kept telling Truth that they were not a team. Truth blew his nose on part of Goldy’s costume.

Snoop Dogg will go into the Celebrity Wing of the WWE. WHY? Joan Rivers, Motorhead, and several others would have been so much more worthy. Hell, even the Muppets would be better than Dogg.

Kevin Owens, Miz and Stardust vs Sin Cara, Dolph Ziggler and Sami Zayn
Six Man Tag Team Match

Sami and Miz opened the match. Miz worked Sami’s arm. Sami rolled back and forth to reverse things. Sami with a Float Over and Leg Lariat. Tag to Kevin and he immediately tagged out to Star. Deep Arm Drag by Sami. Tag to Dolph. The fans weren’t really all that into Dolph. Star got rolled backwards. Dolph rolled up Star but only got a two. The fans were so bored with this match. Star and Dolph went to the corner. Knee Strikes and clubbing blows by Star Dust. Star bashed Dolph in the face and talked trash. Dolhp hit a Dropkick and went for a Superkick. Dolph ended up doing to to Miz, instead. Raw went to break.

Dropkick by Dolph to Star. Tag out to Sin Cara. Ax Bomber by Sin Cara. Shoulder Tackle by Sin. Universal by Star and Sin led to a Springboard Arm Drag. Star went up top but got Dropkicked on the way down. Star popped Sin in the face. Tag to Miz because Kevin wouldn’t take the tag. Miz was ticked. Roll Up by Sin. 2 count. Springboard Crossbody by Miz. Tag to Sami.

Sami flew off the ropes and then Dropkicked Miz’s back. Sami Elbowed Miz and stared at Kevin. Miz tagged Star back in. Dust stomped away and genuflected to the crowd. Sami Suplexed Star and rolled to his corner. Dolph took the tag and went off on Star with a huge Corner Slash and Swinging Neckbreaker. Heart Stopper Elbow Drop to Dust’s chest. Miz hit a cheap shot on Dolph. Miz tagged back in. He stomped away on Dolph. Kevin still avoided getting in the match. Star tagged back in. The fans started chanting for “RVD’ (not sure why).

Str stomped the chest of Dolph and brought Miz back into the match. Kevin FINALLY got involved. He kicked Dolph…and tagged back out. Jeez. Star came back in and continued to punish Dolph. Measure Punch to Dolph’s face. Kick by Star. Star blocked a Superkick and nailed a Side Effect. 2 count. Cut to commercial, for no reason at all.

Star asked for a tag and Miz took it. Dolph was just about spent, at this point. The fans were really super vocal. Dolph fought up to his feet and punched away. The fans got into a “New Day Rocks” chant, which had absolutely nothing to do with this match. Dolph hit a Famouser to Miz and tried to get to his corner. Sin Cara and Sami were enthusiastically asking for a tag. Tag to Sami and tag to Star. Sami sent Dust into the ropes. Sami worked over all three enemies. Flip Dive, by Sami, onto Kevin. Sin Cara and Star Dust were fighting it out. Senton Bomb but Star got the knees up. Sami and Miz both got tags. Miz caught Sami but Sami reversed into a Roll Up. Skull Crushing Finale. Zig Zag. Queen’s Crossbow. Sin Cara hit a Moonsault, to the floor. Kevin was the last man left standing. Kevin tagged himself in and went after his former friend and partner. Sami hit a Dropkick off the Pop Up Powerbomb. Miz and Star Dust both refused to tag Kevin. Kevin was totally confused. Sami waited for Kevin to turn. Sami with a wicked Tornado DDT. Running Corner Kick by Sami.

Your Winners: Sami Zayn, Sin Cara and Dolph Ziggler
Raw Ranking: 2.5

The Authority returned to finish what they started, earlier in the evening. Stephanie mocked the fans for trying to live impossible dreams. Roman interrupted HHH’s rant, once again. The two began to fight on the ramp. HHH worked over the already weakened Roman. HHH was sent into the barricade and then launched into the Bullpen. Stephanie called out several wrestlers to attack Roman. HHH waited until Roman was held and then he tore into Roman. The Usos and several other stars rushed down to even things up. Roman broke free and exploded on HHH. Trip went in the ring but got pulled to safety by the Dudleys. The Usos joined their cousin in the ring. HHH rushed towards the ring but was blocked. Suicide Dive by Roman! HHH stood at the top of the ramp and brandished his beloved title belt.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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