WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE’S MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Posted March 22nd, 2016 by jshannon

Mr. McMahon had a new spin to add to his son’s Hell in a Cell match against the Undertaker. Plus, one more great wrestling superstar was announced for the WWE Hall of Fame.

9 Days and counting until I head “home” to Dallas. Looking forward to seeing some old friends and making some new ones at Wrestlecon (www.wrestlecon.com). There are going to be so many WWE Hall of Fame members at that great 2-day event.

The show opened with a tribute to Mary Katherine Stewart.

The show opened with a look back at the Roman vs HHH.

Stephanie McMahon came to the ring. HHH was not there. Steph talked about success until Roman showed up. Roman cut her off. Steph went to slap Roman but he blocked her. He told her off and left.

A.J. Styles vs Kevin Owens
Non-Title Match

Raw looked back at Chris Jericho’s distraction, on Smackdown, to help Kevin Owens beat Styles. After the match, Jericho nailed a Code Breaker and ranted about Styles.

The bell sounded and the two men stalked each other. Side Headlock by KO. Styles worked up to his feet but couldn’t get free. Styles rolled under and worked Kevin’s arm. Back Elbows to force Styles to let go. Kevin went back to the Side Headlock and then took Styles on over. JBL joked about Styles’ hairstyle. Styles blasted Kevin’s ribs and took him to the ropes. Leap Frog into a wicked Dropkick by Styles. Styles and Owens went to the floor and Styles was dropped on the barricade. Raw went to break.

Kevin had Styles on the mat with a Side Headlock. Kevin threw Styles down, once they got to their feet. Standing Leg Scissors and an Enziguri rocked Kevin. The ref started to count. Styles unloaded n Kevin with wild punches and kicks. Stinger Splash by Styles. Styles fought out of a German Sulex and hit a Facebuster Suplex to pull a two. Styles missed the Pele and Kevin hit a Lariat that spun Styles inside out. Kevin then planted Styles with a Flying Cutter for a two count. The “A.J. Styles” chants started. Styles dodged the Cannonball and hit the Fireman’s Carry Neckbreaker. That move is very popular in Japan, right now.

Kevin pounded away on Styles but A.J. was still able to put Kevin up top. Kevin blocked the Hurancanrana. Frog Splash by Owens. 1-2-no. Kevin couldn’t believe that Styles kicked out. Kevin screamed that it was over. Styles held the ropes to avoid the Pop Up Powerbomb. Kevin clocked Styles with a Forearm. The two traded vicious shots at each other. Hockey Fight! Superkick by Owens. Pele by Styles. Raw took another break to let us all catch out breaths.

The two men went to the corner and Kevin blasted Styles in the head. Knife Edge Chops by Kevin to A.J., who was on the top rope. Styles punched back but Kevin would not be stopped. KO went for the Superplex but Styles slid under. Styles put Owens in a Torture Rack and then hit a Spin Plex. 2 count. Dang that was impressive. Styles pulled Kevin towards the corner. A.J. went up top but Kevin caught him. A Knife Edge Chop set Styles up for something but A.J. refused to give up. Kevin lifted Styles up for something wicked but Styles hit a Powerbomb off the ropes. 2 count, again.

Chris Jericho came out to distract Styles, once more. He just kept chanting “A.J. Styles”. Styles rolled into the Calf Crusher but Jericho got on the apron. When Styles released the hold, Owens rolled up A.J. for the win.

Your Winner: Kevin Owens
Raw Ranking: 3.0 out of a possible 5

Styles chased Jericho out of the arena. Kevin got on the stick and screamed at the crowd. He told them all “This is the Kevin Owens Show”. Kevin brought up Wrestlemania. Everyone has been asking Kevin who he would defend the IC title against. He was cut off by the arrival of Dolph Ziggler. Dolph wanted the shot at Owens. Suddenly, The Miz joined the party. He also wanted a shot at the ivory belt. Miz bragged about main eventing Mania. Dolph told Miz that he beat Miz, last week. Sami Zayn then entered the title picture. Sami respected Miz and Dolph and what they have accomplished but he had been waiting for a long time to get ahold of Kevin. Zayn wanted revenge and the title at Mania. Kevin stepped out of the ring and said none of them would get a shot at his IC title. Kevin explained that he would go to The Authority and set up a Triple Threat to find his challenger. Cool idea.

Raw did a video about Dean being out on the town. He was talking with Terry Funk. Awesome. Funk had something to give Dean. He gave him the old Chainsaw Charlie chainsaw. Dean used the chainsaw to cut into a table, several times.

Kevin Owens came in to talk with Stephanie McMahon. He wanted a High Profile match at Mania. Kevin wanted to set up the Triple Threat Match and Stephanie was cool with it. Kevin asked Stephanie to say hi to HHH from him.

Michael Cole sent it to a video package abou the Shane McMahon vs Undertaker match. Several Hall of Famers and Legends gave their input on this situation.

New Day danced their way down the hall. Big E was about to battle, next.

Big E vs Rusev

League of Nations were united in the ring. New Day will battle “The Lads” at Mania. The four men ranted about what they would do to the Unicorn Squad at the Biggest Stage of them all. Sheamus felt New Day were not in the same league as they are. Sheamus sent it to video of the tag team title match, last week. The League lost but then destroyed all three members of the New Day. King Barrett took the stick and said they were truly about positivity. Alberto Del Rio tried to get a “New Day Sucks” chant but was cut off. The New Day came out for this wild match.

Big E said the League may have put hands on them but New Day does not and has never sucked. New Day called the League of Nations members “Trash”. Kofi made fun of Rusev’s nasty feet, prior to putting on boots. He then went off on Del Rio for not having styles, anymore. He mentioned the limos and personal ring announcers that are now gone. They talked about how disappointing Barrett was as a “King”. They did their best to Shame Barrett. They then mentioned that Shame was part of Sheamus’ name. Get to the wrestling, already! Sigh, they pushed Booty-O’s again. Wrapped up in my nice thermal blankie and I was about to nod off until all Hell broke loose.

New Day jumped The League. It threw the four Lads off their game. Big E with the Unicorn Stomp as Xavier tooted on the trombone. Big E choked Rusev with the boot. Frog Splash, on the apron, by Big E. Raw cut to commercial.

Rusev had Big E laid out on the canvas. Rusev nailed a Dropkick. Woods and Kofi were laid out, ringside. They were beaten down, during the break. Slider Elbow Drop by Rusev to a stunned Big E. Seated Rear Chin Lock by Rusev. Rolling Belly to Booty Suplex by Big E. Booty to Belly Throws by Big E. Rusev got the knees up on the Big Splash. Jumping Spin Kick by Rusev. 2 count. Corner Splash by Rusev but he missed the Thrust Kick. Rusev escaped the Big Endign but fell to the Uranage Slam. 2 count. Big E charged but ate a knee. Thrust Kick by Rusev. Big E barely kicked out at two. Sheamus urged his teammate on to keep the pressure on Big E. Back Body Drop into the Big Splash by Big E. 2 count.

Barrett distracted Big E. Rusev Thrust Kicked his foe. Woods attacked Del Rio and Barrett, on the floor. Sheamus took out Woods and then got on the apron. Rusev stomped the back of his foe nad went for the Accolade. Big E turned it into the Electric Chair Drop. Big E couldn’t follow up. Sheamus got back up on the apron. Big E Speared Sheamus off the apron. Kofi blasted Rusev. Big Ending!

Your Winner: Big E
Raw Ranking: 3.5

Bray Wyatt cut one of his cryptic promos. It was getting a new beginning by sacrificing another. The other members of the Wyatt Family cut promos to go along with their leader. Braun Strowman said he would sacrifice Dean Ambrose. Bray was ready to ascend to his throne. Whatever.

The announcers brought up the 3rd annual Andre The Giant Battle Royal. Big Show came out to talk about winning it, last year. Show thanked the fans for being honest with their feelings. Show said the greatest Giant of all time was Andre the Giant. Big Show waned to repeat as the winner of the Battle Royal.

The Social Outcasts came out to interrupt Show. The members said they were going to throw out Show. Axel talked about being like Voltron (a robot made up of several individual pieces). Show just didn’t know which Hash Tagger he would knock out first. The Social Outcasts tried to destroy Big Show but Kane came out to stop this insanity. Kane just decimated the mid carders and tossed them all out over the top rope. Big Show hugged Kane and praised his friend. Show got up on the ropes and Kane attacked. Chokeslam by the Big Red Monster.

Fifth Harmony will open Wrestlemania. Honestly, I never heard of them.

It was time to announce the newest member of the Hall of Fame…Stan “The Lariat” Hansen. JBL admitted that his Clothesline From Hell was a tribute to Hansen.

Fandango vs Chris Jericho

Jericho yelled that Fandango never beat him at Mania. Jericho called Fandango a Stupid Man and slapped him. Fandango fought back with Clotheslines and punches. Leg Lariat by Fandango to drop Chris. Jericho threw Fandango onto the apron. Neck Snap on the top roep sent Jericho sailing backwards. Fandango went for the Perfect 10 Legdrop but missed. Walls of Jericho was interrupted by a “Y-2-Jackass” chant from A. J. Styles. Roll Up by Fandango for two. Code Breaker.

Your Winner: Chris Jericho
Raw Ranking: 1.0

Styles rushed at Jericho but Chris high-tailed it out of harm’s way. Styles mocked Jericho for his claim of being the best in the world at what he does. Styles said he had never worked a Wrestlemania show. Styles knew Jericho was jealous because he felt the fans chose Styles over Jericho. Styles challenged Jericho to another match, at Mania. Styles got his own “A.J. Styles” chant going , just to twist the knife on Jericho.

More people gave opinions about Shane vs Undertaker. I SO smell a swerve coming.

There was another segment about Shane vs Undertaker, inside Hell in a Cell. The video also showed Shane’s MMA training.

Vince has a major announcement, coming in just a few minutes.

Kevin Owens was in the ring to announce the next match. Kevin brought out Stardust. Huh? Then he introduced Sin Cara. Who’s next, R-Truth? No, it was Zack Ryder. Oh, Puh-lease.

Sin Cara vs Star Dust vs Zack Ryder
Triple Threat Match to determine the Number One Contender to the IC Title.

Star took the early advantage. Zack Dropkicked Sin Cara but Star Dust threw Zack out of the ring. Star stomped away on Sin Cara. Star then blasted Zack, who was trying to get in the ring. Universal into a Springboard Arm Drag by Sin Cara. Hurancanrana by Sin Cara. Star Dust Drop Up Kick. Zack tripped Star and pulled him out to the floor. Sin Cara with a Moonsault off the ropes, to the floor. Sami Zayn walked down, as did Dolph Ziggler. Miz was also out there to get on Kevin’s case for ducking them. Star Dust was flipped out to the feet of Kevin. Owens attacked Zack Ryder. It turned into total chaos. Kevin threw Sin Cara into Sami. All Hell broke loose. 7 Man Ladder Match?

Your Winner: Match Thrown Out
Raw Ranking: 1.5

Stephanie was ready to leave because she had a bad feeling about the night. Kevin Owens rushed in and complained about what just happened. Kevin didn’t feel any of the men out there deserved a shot. Stephanie made it a Suicide Seven Match. Yep, she made it a Ladder Match! Stephanie then stormed off.

Stephanie headed towards the exit. Her limo was waiting. HHH was there to welcome his wife into his arms. The door opened but Roman Reigns was standing there to block their path. Roman came down and jumped HHH. Roman threw HHH into the limo and HHH tried to run away. He finally got in the limo and they drove away.

Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks were waiting to watch the next match. Raw looked back at the Face to Face to Face. Charlotte discussed the Four Horsewomen that she tried to put together. She apologized to her dad for disgracing the legacy of the Horseman with that mess. Becky and Sasha got into a shoving match and then they turned to kick Charlotte’s butt. Charlotte, Becky and Sasha will fight for the Butterfly Belt in 13 nights.

Charlotte (w/Ric Flair) vs Natalya
Non-Title Match

Natalya rolled up Charlotte for a quick 2. Huge Knife Edge Chops by Nattie. Charlotte tried to kick Nattie but Natalya held the foot. Surfboard by Natalya. Step Up Step Down by Nattie. Charlotte came out to trash talk Sasha and Becky. Nattie hit a Discus Clothesline. Back in the ring, Charlotte sent Nattie flying. Knife Edge Chops by Charlotte. Charlotte stomped at Nattie’s chest. Natalya kicked out of a pin attempt. Corner Mount Punches by the Divas Champ. Charlotte got distracted and Nattie nailed a Powerbomb. 2 count. Natalya applied the Sharpshooter. Charlotte inched to the corner. Charlotte kicked out of the Sharpshooter and hit Natural Selection (Seated Blockbuster) to seal the deal.

Your Winner: Charlotte
Raw Ranking; 2.25

Bubba Ray Dudley vs R-Truth

Bubba talked trash to Truth before the match. D’Von distracted and Bubba jumped Truth. He pounded away on the former NWA World Champion (Yes, R-Truth held that prestigious title, once upon a time). Bubba stomped away on Truth and kept dissing him and Goldust. Truth Detector by Truth that rocked Bubba. Jumping Heel Kick by Truth. D’Von got knocked off the apron but Bubba hit a Big Boot to finish this boring match.

Your Winner: Bubba Ray Dudley
Raw Ranking: 1.0

Goldust came out to help his buddy, R-Truth. Goldy worked over both Dudleys. He fell to the Inverted 3D. The Usos then ran down to clean house. Jimmy and Jey laid out the Dudleys with Superkicks. The Usos went looking for lumber…as in a table! The twins put the table in the ring and set it up. D’Von was placed on the table. Both Usos went up top. Bubba rushed in and tipped over the table. The Dudleys headed for the hills.

Mr. McMahon was in the house! Vince talked about his “Former Son” fighting against Undertaker, in Hell in a Cell. Vince said that IF Shane were to win, it might be the last time we would see Vince. Vince sent it back, 7 days, to when Undertaker and Shane got into it. He was thrilled that Taker Chokeslammed his former kid. Vince warned that Undertaker BETTER win since he was Vince’s B*tch. Vince threatened that IF Undertaker loses, this will be his very last Wrestlemania. Wow!

Dean Ambrose vs Braun Strowman

Paul Heyman watched this contest, from the announce desk. Paul mentioned that Brock still had issues with the Wyatt Family. Braun stepped over the top rope to start the match. Dean ducked and dodged the huge man. Dean popped Braun in the face and then rushed around. Dean kept sticking and moving. Braun hit a huge Shoulder Block. Low Bridge sent Braun to the floor. Dropkick to Braun’s knee. Suicide Dive sent Braun into the barricade. Dean went for a 2nd Suicide Dive but got blasted in the face. Braun pulled Dean out to the floor.

Braun threw Dean into the barricade wall and then tossed him back in the ring. Kabuki Claw to the neck by Braun. Dean tore at Braun’s beard. Jaawbreaker by Dean but Braun came right back with a Clothesline. Biel sent Dean sailing across the ring. Braun choked Dean on the bottom rope. Short Arm Clothesline stunned Dean. The fans began to chant for Dean. Dean cinched in a Sleeper on Braun. Dean had it like an Octopus. Bray screamed at Braun to motivate him. Corner Shoulder by Braun. Bray demanded that Braun punish Dean. Braun went back to work on Dean’s taps. Braun stood over his fallen foe and then lifted Dean. Ambrose slipped free. Braun put Dean on the top rope but Ambrose hit a Dropkick off the ropes. Braun blocked Dirty Deeds. Braun charged and struck the ring post. Dean grabbed a chair and bashed Braun with it.

Your Winner (by Disqualification): Braun Strowman
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Rebound Clothesline by Dean. Dirty Deeds onto a folding chair. Dean slid out of the ring and Paul got very nervous. Dean got up in Paul’s face and yelled at him.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@gmail.com

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