WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE RAW

Posted July 8th, 2015 by jshannon

Brock Lesnar was brutalized by The Authority, a few weeks back. You know he will not go gentle into that good night.

Raw opened with a look back at the presents that Seth Rollins gave to his Authority comrades. Apple Watches, a Hawaiian vacation and a fancy Cadillac.

We are in Chi Town (Chicago) for this week’s show. Shout out to my great friend, Chicago Ed. Smile. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman came out to address the previous beat down. Paul introduced himself and Brock to the crowd. They chanted along with him. Paul really ripped Seth a new one about “lucking” his way into the World Title. Paul said Brock was “a God of violent retribution”. Paul said Brock would destroy Seth and all who stand with him. Paul brought up “The Streak” and John Cena’s trip to “Suplex City”. L warned that the Suplexes would begin…tonight…at the Altar of the Beast. The fans began to chant for “Suplex City”. Paul grinned at the chant. Paul let everyone know that Brock was waiting for Seth Rollins.

They showed some silly photos of Kane in Hawaii. Then they talked about J and J’s Road Trip.

Big Show vs Ryback
Non-Title Match

The Finish:

Miz screamed at Big Show to continue to torture Ryback with a Leg Lock. Show let go and Ryback tried to Slam Show. He couldn’t hold up the Giant’s weight. Show got a two count. Show worked the ribs and then hit a Whip. Ryback clipped the knee and then they started throwing bombs at each other. Shoulder Tackles didn’t drop Show, at first. Miz kept screaming at both wrestlers. Meat Hook Clothesline and Splash to earn a two count. Ryback missed the Frog Splash. Chokeslam by Big Show. Show then headed up the ropes. Savage Elbow and Miz rushed in and attacked Show.

Your Winner: Match Thrown Out
Raw Ranking: 2.0 out of a possible 5

Show recovered, as did Ryback. Miz tried to leave the ring but Big Show and Big Hungry weren’t letting him leave. Shell Shocked by Ryback and then a Chokeslam by Big Show. Ryback then decked Show with the Meat Hook Clothesline.

J and J were at Wrigley Field. Jamie and Joey talked serious trash about the stadium and the Cubs. Yeah, they know how to draw the cheapest of heat.

Brie Bella vs Paige

The Finish:

Paige wanted the PTO but couldn’t lock it in. Brie missed the Missile Dropkick. Nikki got on the apron and Brie threw Brie into her. Paige then kicked Alicia Fox off the apron. X-Factor by Brie to take the win.

Your Winner: Brie Bella
Raw Ranking: 1.0

Alicia Fox and Nikki Bella jumped Paige. Rack Attack by the Divas Champion.

The Roman Reigns/Bray Wyatt feud was analyzed.

Roman Reigns vs Sheamus

The Finish:

Sheamus battled out of the Samoan Drop. Roman kicked away to escape the Cloverleaf. Rising Sun Dropkick led to a Samoan Drop. Roman loaded up for the Superman Punch but Sheamus countered it. Irish Curse Backbreaker brought Sheamus a two. Sheamus dug at Roman’s face and threw him into the corner. Roman came back with Haymakers to rock the Irishman. Sheamus hit a Kneelift and came off the top…right into the Superman Punch.

Bray Wyatt’s music hit as the Master of the Fireflies came from the back. Roman ran out of the ring and hit the Superman Punch. It turns out that it wasn’t actually Bray that Roman took out. The ref had been counting all this time.

Your Winner (by Count Out): Sheamus
Raw Ranking: 2.25

Following the match, Randy Orton rushed down to the ring and took the fight to Sheamus. Randy unloaded with punches and kicks. Sheamus tried to head for higher ground but The Viper wouldn’t allow it. RKO, completely out of the blue.

HHH was on the phone as the rest of The Authority entered the building. HHH talked about the fancy car that Jamie and Joey were driving around. HHH asked Joey and Jamie to leave so he could talk to Seth. Rollins asked for advice. HHH said Seth should walk out of Battleground as the champ. HHH warned Seth to avoid Brock until the PPV. HHH said Seth SHOULD provoke the Beast. Seth understood that he had to Call Out Brock. No one expected Seth would go there. Seth psyched himself up for his suicide mission.

The WWE Rewind showed Lana kicking Summer Rae’s butt, last wee

Rusev and Summer Rae were in the ring. The fans quickly started the “USA” chant. Rusev said Summer Rae was his new woman. The fans broke out with the “We Want Lana” chant. Rusev said he wanted to apologize…for wasting a year of his life with Lana. Rusev said Dolph was nowhere near his level. Summer took the stick and demanded respect for Rusev. Rusev kissed Summer’s hand and asked her not to waste her words.

Dolph and Lana came out to confront the big Bulgarian. Dolph wondered if Rusev’s brain was broken. Dolph stated that Lana was the person that got Rusev everything. Dolph said Lana was gone from Rusev and Dolph found her. They played a bit of Tonsil Hockey and Summer just about lost it. Lana and Summer kicked out of their shoes but Rusev would not let them fight. Rusev then attacked Dolph with his crutch. Apparently, the Bulgarian Brute is ready to get back in the ring. Superkick by Rusev.. Rusev’s foot still had a cast on it. Rusev unbuckled the restrictive cast and removed it. The cast was thrown at the announce table. Summer pitched Lana out to the floor. Rusev stomped away on Dolph and then pounded away. Rusev got the other crutch and stalked Dolph. Rusev drove the crutch up into Dolph’s throat. Refs rushed out to try and protect Dolph. Rusev kept striking Dolph with the crutch as medics tried to pull Ziggler out of the ring. Break time.

Bo Dallas felt what happened to Dolph was horrible. “Bad things happen to Bad people and Good Things happen to Good People…like Me”. He wanted everyone to Bo-Lieve.

Bo Dallas vs Dean Ambrose

The Finish:

Bo hit a big Clothesline and jogged around. Dean came back with wild punches and Double Thrusts. Corner Clothesline and Bulldog by Dean. Dean headed up top and hit the Standing Savage Elbow. Rebound Clothesline led to Dirty Deeds.

Your Winner: Dean Ambrose
Raw Ranking: 2.25

Another clip of J and J’s Road Trip around Chicago.

R-Truth vs King Barrett

The Finish:

Truth almost pinned Barrett with a Crucifix Backslide. Barrett kicked Truth in a questionable way and then set up for the Royal Bull Hammer. Truth ducked it and rolled up Barrett for a two. Truth kicked Barrett in the face. Truth flew off the ropes and took a Royal Bull Hammer to the face.

Yoru Winner: King Barrett
Raw Ranking: 1.75

Seth Rollins, Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury came out to the ring. Jamie and Joey drove out their 55K Caddy. The car was totally Redneck Pimped Out. All three men were carrying Ax Handles. Seth admired his weapon and then mentioned that HHH and Stephanie McMahon knew that Seth was “The Man” and the future of WWE. Seth crowed about reuniting The Authority and the demolition of Brock Lesnar, two weeks back. Seth was determined to burn Suplex City to the ground. Seth was sure that Brock could not “hang” with a Thinking Man’s Champion. The fans chanted Suplex City, over and over. Seth bragged about all he has done, over the last year or so. Seth felt he was the only man on Planet Earth that could beat Brock Lesnar.

Seth called out Brock and questioned if Brock really was “The Beast”. The “Justin Bieber” chant rose from the Chi-Towners. He called Brock “Paul Heyman’s B*tch”. Really? Seth was confident that Brock would not come out…he was wrong.

Brock thought about getting in the ring but held back, just a bit. Brock backed up the ramp. He called for Paul to bring him something. It was a push crate filled with fire extinguishers…and fire axes. Brock snapped and completely destroyed the Caddy! Joey and Jamie ran down to protect their ride. Brock snapped Jamie’s arm with the Kimura Lock. Joey got repeatedly Suplexed and Bieled onto the damaged car. Seth stood frozen in the ring. Seth spun the ax handle and invited Brock to get in the ring. Seth took off and Brock chased after him. Seth forgot his World title belt and Brock found it. He held it high and then left the ring with one of the ax handles. He drove it through the driver’s side window.

Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara y Kalisto) vs New Day

The Prime Time Players were at the announce table.

The Finish:

Kofi hit a Jawbreaker on Sin Cara. Bridging Suplex by Sin Cara but Big E broke it up. Sin Cara sent both members of New Day to the floor. The Lucha Dragons went for Double Suicide Dives. Big E caught and Belly to Belly Suplexed Kalisto. Braking Dawn to Sin Cara.

Your Winners: Kofi Kingston and Big E
Raw Ranking: 2.5

A cool promo aired for WWE2K16. Who was on the cover? “Stone Cold” Steve Austin! I hope it comes out for PS3, since I finally have one. Smile. I know 2K14 was somewhat of a disappointment.

John Cena came out for the Main Event…his US Open Challenge. Kevin Owens, no longer the NXT Champ, didn’t want to wait until Battleground to fight for the title. Before the match could get rolling, Cesaro came out and said he was robbed of the US title shot by Owens. Raw switched gears and showed how Owens lost the NXT title, in Japan. Owens backed out of the match and allowed Cesaro to face Cena.

John Cena vs Cesaro
US Open Challenge, Title Match

The Finish:

This one was off the freaking charts. After two breaks, the match drew to a close. Cesaro caught a flying Cena snd hit a Backbreaker to earn a two count. Cena with the Protobomb and went for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Instead, he had to hit a second Protobomb. When John went for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Ceasro turned it into the Crippler Crossface. Cena fought out of the move and slapped on the STF. Cesaro dragged himself to the bottom rope. Cesaro hit a Back Elbow but John came back with a Back Body Drop and Fist Drop. Cesrao hit multiple Gut Wrench Suplexes to John…three in total.

John kicked out of the pin and waited in the corner. Running Europeans Uppercuts by Cesaro. Cesaro Swing was blocked as John powered up and nailed the DDT. 1-2-no. Byron Saxton talked about all the new moves that John has added to his arsenal. John climbed up the ropes but took a long time to get there. Cesaro Dropkicked John off the ropes. Cesaro went out after John. Running European Uppercut, on the floor. Cesaro didn’t get all of it. Cesaro flew off the ropes but John rolled through and went for the AA. . Cena hit a Hurancanra off a Pop Up Powerbomb. Modified Winds of Change by Cena to garner a two count.

John lifted Cesaro but Cesaro fought out. Springboard Spinning European Uppercut by Cesraro. Dang! Cesaro hit the Dead Lift Superplex, almost. He had to fight after John countered. Fallawaya Slam, on the floor, by Cesaro. John flipped Cesaro into the Bullpen. John then got Ceasro and pitched him back into the ring. John went up top but Cesaro hit the European Uppercut. John blocked the Superplex. John nailed several Headbutts and then hit the Leg Drop from the top. 1-2 not quite yet.

John wanted the AA but Cesaro held the ropes. Flying European Uppercut. Cesaro could not believe John kicked out. Cesaro hit the chest more than under the chin. Cesaro called for the Cesaro Swing but John converted it, quickly, into an AA. Could be…might be…Denied! Cesaro finally go the Cesaro Swing. Cesaro then stepped through to apply the Sharpshooter. Cena would not tap out. Cesaro switched to the Crippler Crossface. John broke the hold and applied the STF, again. Cesaro lifted John and hit a wicked Suplex to get another 2 count.

Springboard Stunner mostly missed and Cesaro hit the Neutralizer. 2 count. Cesaro blocked a Tornado DDT and went right back to the Crippler Crpssface. John used the last of his strength to reach the ropes. Dead Lift Superplex by Cesaro. 2 count, one more time. John planted Cesaro with a Sit Out Powerbomb. 2 count. John didn’t get a good cover due to getting tangled up with Cesaro’s legs.

John unloaded with solid punches and lifted Cesaro for a Super Attitude Adjustment. Cesaro battled back but John would not be denied. John did have to break out of a Super Neutralizer. 1-2-3!

Your Winner: John Cena
Raw Ranking: 4.5

Kevin Owens attacked John, after the match. John avoided the Pop Up Powerbomb and hit an AA to Owens.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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