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WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ IMPACT WRESTLING

Posted March 29th, 2015 by jshannon

This week’s episode was titled Hardy’s Revenge. Jeff Hardy wanted revenge against The Revolution. Plus, Drew Galloway had a counter plan for the Beat Down Clan.

The six sides of steel were in place around the hexagon ring. Khoya and James Storm came from the back. Khoya was carried a flag. Storm laughed at the idea of Jeff getting revenge against them. Storm claimed Jeff wasn’t even in the building. Storm stated that he had crippled Jeff Hardy and put out Matt, as well. Storm was certain that Jeff was still in a hospital. Storm was cut off by Jeff Hardy and his new music. I like it so much better.

Hardy admitted that Storm did things that no one has ever done. Jeff knew he wasn’t walking right but he was still able to kick Storm’s *ss. Jeff made it clear that the cage was set up by Jeff’s request. Jeff was jumped by Manik, from behind. Storm yelled at Manik to break Jeff’s arm. Jeff nailed the Twist of Fate. Abyss rushed down and jumped Hardy. Abyss slammed Hardy’s ’ace into the cage. Jeff kicked Abyss and then walloped him with a steel chair. Hardy said none of the Revolution would be able to help Storm. Jeff asked for the top of the age to be lowered. The top had tons of weapons attached. Jeff started chanting “Hardy’s Revenge”.

Impact looked back at the Austin Aries vs Samoa Joe match. Low Ki got involved Aries took him out. Rock Star Spud rushed down, cashed in his Feast or Fired briefcase, hit the Underdog (Acid Drop) and became the new X-Division Title. Backstage, the BDC discussed the loss of the title and how it was time to get back to business.

Somewhere backstage, James Storm shrieked at Khoya. Storm was ticked that Abyss and Manik failed him. He ordered Khoya to go eliminate Hardy. Storm warned that if Khoya did not dispose of Hardy, Storm would dispose of Khoya.

Low Ki vs Rock Star Spud
X-Division Title Rematch

The bell sounded and the two men scouted each other. Kick to the shin by Low Ki. Front Face Lock by Low Ki allowed him to kick Spud. Low Ki then hit a brutal Knife Edge Chop. Go Behind by Low Ki. He took Spud down and did a modified Alligator Roll before kicking away. Spud blasted the ribs but ate a European Uppercut. Spud with Knife Edge Chops and hard punches. Ki dropped Spud hard. Spud rocked Ki with punches and chops.

Spud blasted Low Ki but Ki sent Spud to the ropes. Sunset Flip by Spud failed. The ref started counting Spud down but Spud got up in time. Spud used his speed to duck and dodge. He two went back and forth with kicks and punches. Enziguri by Spud. Tilt-a-Whirl DDT by the champ. The BDC tried to get involved but Drew Galloway came out to counter them. Low Ki allowed Drew to distract him. Small Package.

Your Winner: Rock Star Spud
Impact Scorecard: 2.5 out of a possible 5

The BDC were irate at how they were treated in the last segment. MVP threatened to go out and slap around some of the fans. Drew came out and said he had a plan for the BDC. Drew was ready to Stand Up and take down the BDC. Drew surveyed the fans to find out what they were thinking. The fans said they loved wrestling but were sick of the BDC. Drew said he had a special movement…The Rising! MVP didn’t think he had anyone to stand with him. Kenny King compared Drew to the main character of Braveheart, who died at the end. Low Ki screamed at Drew to get in the ring and fight him. Drew got in the ring but he brought back up. The Rising absolutely destroyed the BDC.

A promo about Awesome Kong aired. She is ready to destroy every other female in the division.

THE BDC didn’t know how to handle what just went down. MVP was cool. He had someone to call because it was time. Who would be Samoa Joe’s replacement?

Brooke vs Awesome Kong

Brooke jumped Kong but her shots had almost no effect. Brooke kicked at the thighs but got Brick Walled. Kong with a hard Whip but she missed a Corner Splash. Brooke with Full Mount Corner Punches but Kong shoved her away. Brooke tried for a Crossbody but Kong caught and dropped her. Kong stood on Brooke’s hair and pulled up the arms. Kong sent Brooke down hard. Kong clubbed Brooke’s back. Kong then choked Brooke on the middle rope. Brooke still kicked away but her kicks and Forearms didn’t make much of an impact (pun fully intended). Kong kicked Brooke and then hit a Falling Powerbomb. Kong took more of the move than Brooke did. Brooke headed up to the top and nailed the Savage Elbow. 2 count. Brooke flew off the ropes and got caught. Chokeslam led to the Impact Buster.

Your Winner: Awesome Kong
Impact Scorecard: 2.0

After the match, Kong hit a 2nd Impact Buster. Kong left the ring and looked under it. She brought out a table. Kong set up the table but didn’t get to use it. Taryn Terrell rushed down and went off on Kong. Kong turned her focus on the Knockout Champion. Taryn threw a ton of Forearms and a Dropkick. Kong shrugged them off. A Missile Dropkick dropped Kong. An enraged Kong rushed and Taryn Low Bridged her. Kong threw Taryn into the ring steps. Kong Powerbombed Taryn through the table. Kong then left the scene of complete carnage.

A highlight reel of Kurt Angle vs Lashley aired. Kurt got Lashley to tap out to the Angle Lock.

Austin Aries said he knew Kurt was having a celebration tonight. He wondered if maybe there should be double celebration. He held up the Feast or Fired Briefcase. Hmm…

Jeff Hardy was cutting a promo until Khoya attacked. Jeff absolutely destroyed the big Indian. Jeff rammed a ladder into Khoya and then smashed beer bottles over his head, twice. Jeff dared Khoya to get up. When he did, Jeff unloaded with a couple more bottles and screamed at Khoya to stay down. Khoya had no choice as he was out cold.

Kurt Angle came out with his new title belt. Kurt thanked the fans for their support. Kurt gave credit to the fans for his return to the top. Kurt said the past 3 ½ years was the longest amount of time that he has gone without a title. Kurt said this was the proudest moment of his career, so far.

Ethan Carter III cut off Kurt’s promo. Tyrus was at EC3’s side. Ethan mocked Kurt for his inspirational words. Ethan gave Kurt credit for beating Lashley, which seemed impossible. Ethan reminded everyone that he has defeated every member of the TNA Hall of Fame, including Kurt. Ethan said he would be the man who would topple Kurt from his throne. As Kurt started to respond to EC3, Bobby Roode joined he party. Bobby said his name should be included in the title picture. Bobby complained that his title was stolen from him. Bobby offered to de-teeth Ethan if he didn’t shut his mouth. Ethan backed off. Bobby admitted that he has massive respect for Kurt but he still wanted the title.

Eric Young, complete with new music, came out to throw his hat in the ring. Eric yelled that he was going to stop Bobby Roode. Eric took credit for stealing the title from Bobby, because he could. Roode yelled at Eric that he has beaten Young, over and over. Eric promised that Bobby Roode would never hold the World Title again. Eric was shut down by the arrival of Austin Aries. Aries knew a lot of people wanted the World title. Aries showed off his briefcase and said everyone was being rude to Angle. Aries said Kurt deserved this time of celebrations. Aries got a shot in at Ethan for not winning the World Title. Aries opened his briefcase and brought out a bottle of champagne. Aries suggested he might cash in his title shot. Kurt told him to do it. Kurt issued open challenges to anyone who wanted to step up and face him. As Kurt started to leave, Lashley came out to throw his cap in the ring. Lashley felt he should be first in line to get a shot. Kurt was ready to go, right away, in the title rematch. The refs and executives rushed down to keep them apart. The men in and around the ring began fighting. EC3 and Tyrus went after Aries, while Roode and Young threw down. Ken Anderson rushed down and stomped away on Tyrus. Break Time.

Ethan Carter III, Tyrus and Eric Young vs Austin Aries, Ken Anderson and Bobby Roode
Six-Man Tag Team Match

The previous segment led to a wild match. Aries worked over Ethan’s arm. Bobby took the tag and hit an Ax Bomber to the arm. Front Drop Suplex and tag to Aries. Miz/Morrison Double Team to EC3. Tag to Anderson. He continued to work over Ethan’s arm. Arm Drag into Knee Drops into the extended arm. Eric Kneed Bobby in the back. Roode spun around and blasted Young. Tyrus got a shot in as the ref was distracted. Tag to Tyrus. Corner Splash by Tyrus. Thrust to Bobby’s throat brought Tyrus a 2 count. Bobby was sent to the corner but Roode got the boots up. Bobby jumped off the ropes but got caught and launched with a Fallaway Slam. Eric took the tag and tried for a quick tag. Eric with a Whip and Clothesline. 2 count. Tag by Ethan. EC3 clubbed the back and choked Bobby on the ropes. Ethan lost his arm protection device. Eric kicked Bobby in the skull. Ethan stomped away.

Rear Chin Lock by Ethan. Bobby got to his feet and the two traded hard punches. Double Collision in the middle of the ring. Tag to Eric. Elbow Drop by Young. Eric set for the Piledriver but took too long. Back Body Drop by Bobby. Aries took the tag and went after all three foes. Eric flipped DA Double onto the apron but Aries came back in swinging. Bell Ringer sent Eric flying over the top rope. Tyrus decked Aries but Ken laid him out. Ethan pitched Ken out. Discus Forearm by Aries. Suicide Dive to take out Tyrus and Ethan. Eric went up top but fell to a Rocket Launcher. Hesitation Dropkick into the Double R Spinebuster on Young. Aries went up top but missed the 450 S plash. Eric applied the Figure Four and Aries tapped out.

Your Winners: Eric Young, Tyrus and Ethan Carter III
Impact Scorecard: 3.5

Bram strolled out from the back. Actually, he kind of limped out. Impact looked back to how Magnus nearly destroyed Bram, last week. Bram kept calling Magnus a coward. Bram accused Magnus of hiding behind his family. Bram felt that Mickie was more of a man than Magnus would ever be. Bram went one step too far when he went to bring up Magnus’ baby son. Magnus and Mickie came out and threatened to do things to Bram that would bring the police. Magnus said Bram talked too much. Bram invited Magnus to come down to fight him. Magnus wanted a Falls Count Anywhere Match against his former friend. Bram loved the idea. Mickie stepped in and said she was ready to see her man (Magnus) rip the beard off Bram’s face. Bram made an inapproriae comment about a relationship with Mickie.

Magnus rushed down and Bram hit a Low Blow and Leg Lariat. Bram went and found his truty turnbuckle. Bram dropped it and dragged Mickie into the ring. She demanded that Mickie kiss his boot. He changed his mind and asked for a big sloppy kiss. Magnus hit a German Suplex and began to pound away on Bran’s skull. Magnus grabbed the turnbuckle and weigh-layed him with it. Mickie rushed in the ring and went to town on Bram with wild punches.

A profile of some of Jeff Hardy’s most daring, high-flying moves ran. Jeff took out several Hall of Famers with various moves. The main event was on deck.

Kurt Angle did a quick promo about facing Lashley, next week. Kurt felt he was at the best he has ever been and he was determined to beat Lashley.

James Storm vs Jeff Hardy
1-on-1 Lethal Lockdown Match

Strom and Hardy stared daggers at each other and yelled trash. Storm immediately cracked Jeff in the face with a trash can. Storm taunted the downed Hardy. Hard punch by Storm as James yelled at his opponent. Hardy rebounded off the ropes and decked storm. Jeff bounced Storm off the turnbuckles and hit a Hurancanrana. Jeff set up a chair and used it for solo Poetry in Motion. Hardy crashed into the cage, by accident. Storm tripped Hardy as he headed up the ropes. Impact took a quick break.

Storm was throwing punches and Hardy fell into a trash can. Storm wedged a steel chair in one of the corners. Jeff blocked a Whip and hit the Reverse Mule Kick. Storm nailed a Clothesline. Storm shrieked at the fans. Sling Blade by Jeff. Storm with a Whip but Jeff came back with a Flying Forearm. Typical Hardy Dropkick/Legdrop combo. 2 count. Twist of Fate by Jeff. Hardy headed up the ropes and went for the Swanton. Storm got the knees up. Eye of the Storm by James. 1-2-no. Storm with aa Side Russian Leg Sweep, X Factor and a Lung Blower. Last Call Superkick but Hardy still kicked out. Storm retrieved his rope and cow bell. Storm waited and went to hit the move. Jeff avoided the cow bell and sent Storm into the chair and hit the Swanton. 2 count, yet again.

Jeff ripped off his shirt and went back on the offensive. Low Blow by Storm. Storm rattled the cage door to try and escape. Storm went up for more weapons. Hardy cracked Storm in the back and then the stomach of Storm. Jeff held onto the top of the cage to hit several kicks. Top Rope Hurancanrana for a two plus. Jeff got the can lid and stood by. He smacked Storm right between the eyes with it. Jeff picked it up and smashed him in the face, again. Jeff then grabbed the cow bell and blasted Storm in the face. Twist of Fate! Jeff climbed back up the rope and monkeyed across the cage to hit a wild Crossbody Drop to take the win.

Your Winner Jeff Hardy
Impact Scorecard: 3.75

Jeff dropped the rope and bell across Storm’s upper body to make a serious final statement.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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