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WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE RAW

Posted December 16th, 2014 by jshannon

Chris Jericho was the Guest General Manager, this week. The opening segment went over 20 minutes and it was all talk. Yep, I’m serious. Jericho came out and welcomed everyone to town. He complained about Fandango taking his Slammy award. Jericho even got bleeped for one of his names for Fandango (ah, so much for Family Friendly). Anyway, he ordered Fanny to come out. Instead, he got Paul Heyman. Paul complained about Seth Rollins. Jericho griped at Paul for still owing him $200. Seth then came out and whined about losing at TLC to Cena. He wanted a rematch, but not tonight. That brought out John Cena. Cena wanted Seth to grow a set and be a man. Cena turned to Jericho, who was in charge, to make the Cena vs Seth rematch. He did that and took it up a notch by making the match a Steel Cage Match. Seth smarted off that Jericho was jealous of him because he couldn’t beat him, Fandango or even…Paul Heyman. Paul was like “Whoa, shut up kid” but Jericho decided to put himself in a match against Heyman. The fans would get to choose the stipulations:

1. Extreme Rules Match
2. No Holds Barred
3. Street Fight

Yeah, they stretched that out to something like 22 ½ minutes.

Luke Harper and Big Show vs Dolph Ziggler and “Big Red” Erick Rowan

The Finish:

This one bridged a commercial break and all 4 men got to shine. Luke with a Slingshot up into the middle rope. That wasn’t nearly as nasty as when Luke did that with a ladder, last night. Dolph and Luke were pretty banged up. Luke missed a charge and Dolph tagged in Rowan. Big Red with Clotheslines on Harper. Full Nelson Uranage by Rowan. Rowan popped Big Show. Back Elbow by Harper and tag to Show. Spin Kick by Rowan. Dolph and Harper went to the floor and over the announce table. In the ring, Big Show nailed the K.O. Punch to take the win.

Your Winners: Luke Harper and Big Show
Raw Ranking: 2.0 out of a possible 5

Backstage, Chris Jericho got up in Fandango’s face. Jericho said he would finish off Heyman and then come to the back to dance all over Fandango.

The announcers discussed Bray Wyatt vs Dean Ambrose. That match was just bizarre. Bray did win the match. An exploding television was the final turning point. I actually did much better than usual with my predictions, this time around.

Renee Young interviewed The New Day (Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods and Big E). Renee asked New Day about negativity from the Cosmic Twins. Xavier started preaching about showing some new things that they had planned for the Cosmic Twins. Kofi joked with Big E to towel off the sweat.

Nikki and Brie Bella vs Alicia Fox and Natalya (w/Tyson Kidd)

Fox went off on Nikki but fell to a Spinebuster. 2 count. Tag to Brie. Double Team by the Bellas. 2 count. Brie with a Side Headlock. Brie with a Flying Clothesline to get a 2 count. Brie with a Rear Chinlock to weaken Fox. Fox fought to her feet and hit a modified Jawbreaker. Tag to Nattie. Snap Mare by the third generation star. Nattie put Brie in the Sharpshooter after Brie slapped her in the face. Tap Out!

Your Winners (by Submission): Natalya and Alicia Fox
Raw Ranking: 1.0

After the match, Kidd got up in the middle of things to pull the attention towards himself. Jeez.

The Highlight Reel:

Chris Jericho brought out Rusev and Lana. Rusev had his huge Russian flag. Rusev was successful against Jack Swagger. I was pretty sure Rusev would retain but the ending I predicted was totally wrong. Darn it. JBL took shots at Jack Swagger for losing, again. If Lana’s dress was any tighter it would be on the inside of her skin. Wicked Grin. Lana crowed about Rusev’s destruction of Swagger. Jericho wanted to know why Lana was always so angry. Jericho said Rusev seemed to have a lot of pent up frustration, as well. Jericho suggested that there were romantically involved. Jericho called them “The US Champ and the Communist Tramp”. Jericho mocked Lana’s “Shut Up” shriek. Too funny. Rusev told Jericho talked too much and he thought he should crush Jericho. Jericho brought out Ryback to fight Rusev, right here and right now! Sweet! Jericho bailed out of the ring as Ry back got right up in Rusev’s face. Now this is a match that I want to see! The two talked trash and Rusev backed down. Jerry Lawler suggested that Rusev was cowering away from Ryback.

A promo ran for The Ascension. If you haven’t seen these guys, you are in for a fantastic experience. They have dominated NXT and many are calling them this generation’s Road Warriors. I don’t think I’d go THAT far but they are awesome in the ring. Just wait and see…

The New Day vs The Cosmic Twins

The Finish:

It was Star and Gold Dust s Big E and Xavier Woods. Michael Cole joked about Star Dust’s green paint from TLC. Star and Gold were getting beaten down during the first of the match. They did come back. Star had Big E in a Front Face Lock and hit the Star Strike. Big E Brick Walled Star and went towards Xavier. Both sides made the tags. Xavier dropped both brothers. Running Dropkick and Kip Up by Xavier. Honor Roll for a two count. Snap Powerslam by Gold but it only drew a two. Gold missed a Running Boot but Woods came back with an Enziguri. Woods with a wild Flip Dive onto the Brothers Dust. Big E had tagged in. Tag to Woods. The Midnight Hour struck and Woods took the pin.

Your Winners: Xavier Woods and Big E of the New Day
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Miz and Mizdow were interviewed. Miz took shots at Jimmy Uso. Miz accused Jimmy of spoiling Naomi’s chances at success.

Elsewhere, Adam Rose said he was ready to host the biggest after party after his win on Raw. They Exotic Express ran into Kane. Kane made it clear that he didn’t like Rose or his freaky friends. Bunny tried to play peacemaker. Kane informed Rose that he party was over as Rose would face Kane…Next.

Adam Rose vs Kane

The Exotic Express parted like the Red Sea as Kane came down. Rose ducked and dodged and pounded on Kane. Kane blocked a Whip and threw Rose out of the ring. The Bunny came up to motivate Rose. He bailed as Kane came out to the floor. Rose pounded on Rose but took a Back Elbow. Rose with a Corner Clothesline but Kane didn’t sell it at all. Big Boot. Kane went for a Chokeslam on Rose. The Bunny tried to get involved and both of them got Chokeslammed. Kane then took out The Bunny with a Tombstone Piledriver!

Your Winner: Kane
Raw Ranking: 1.5

JBL was ecstatic that The Bunny got taken out. JBL cackled as he talked about The Bunny getting laid out. The announcers sent it back to the opening segment, where Seth Rollins ended up setting up a match of Paul Heyman vs Chris Jericho. Paul was taping up, in the locker room.

Chris Jericho vs Paul Heyman
Street Fight Rules

That choice just barely won out over the Extreme Rules Match. JBL was seriously against this match. Paul came out in a full body suit of protection. Paul stated he didn’t have any tricks up his sleeve. Paul joked his way down to the ring, though he didn’t find this whole situation funny. Paul knew he was about to get a serious beating. Paul reminded Jericho that he would never be where he is today, had it not been for the break that he got from Paul. Paul couldn’t believe that they were fighting over a 20-year debt of $200. Paul wanted to pay off Jericho to avoid the fight. Paul brought out the checkbook. Jericho didn’t want the possibly bogus check. Jericho wanted to kick Paul’s behind. Paul said he was not the guy that they portray him to be. Paul said Jericho was going to get into a fight…with Brock Lesnar.

The Beast made his return. Brock took his time getting to the ring and got right up in Jericho’s face. Brock sits on his butt for four months and when he finally does show up the announce team makes it sound like the Second Coming. Brock smiled at Jericho. Chris went for the Code Breaker but Brock blocked it and nailed the F5.

Your Winner: No Match
Raw Ranking: N/A
Segment Ranking: 1.5 (Not that much of a surprise)

Fandango and Rosa came out to the ring, after Jericho was taken out. They danced around. It was time for a break.

As we returned, Fandango was ready to speak. Yawn. Fandango held the statuette up high. Fandango mocked Chris Jericho saying “Raw Was Jericho”. He was cut off by the arrival of Roman Reigns. Sweet! Roman came through the crowd to confront Fandango. Roman has and all new “Double R” shirt. Fandango started to smart off to Roman but got popped and Speared! Roman picked up the stick and shared his thoughts with the crowd, who were rabidly chanting his name. Well, he almost did as he was cut off by the entrance of Big Show. Roman warned Show that he would bust Show in the mouth if he came down to the ring. Show was ready to put Roman back on the injured list. Roman clocked Show with the Superman Punch. Show threw the ring steps around but didn’t get in the ring. Show back tracked to avoid Roman’s wrath.

Miz vs Jimmy Uso

The Finish:

Naomi watched from the back. Jey and Damien were also out there to lend moral support. Jimmy punched away but Miz went for the Reality Check. Jimmy fought out of it, at first, but Miz came back to hit the move for a two count. Miz with Full Mount Punches. Miz kicked away and wanted a Whip. He had to settle for a kick. Jimmy with Clotheslines, including a La Bandera version. Jimmy with a Top Rope Plancha. Jimmy with a Top Rope Crossbody for at wo. Miz blocked a Superkick and went for the Figure Four. He didn’t get it and Jimmy hit a Samoan Drop. Damien came in and made the save move. Jey nailed Miz as the ref was distracted. Superfly Splash by Jimmy to win.

Your Winner: Jimmy Uso
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Speaking of The Superfly, Jimmy Snuka just confirmed with me that he is going to be a guest at the Miami Comic Con on January 16-18. You can learn more about it by visiting:

http://www.magiccitycomiccon.com/guests/media-guests/jimmy-snuka/

A promo for Tribute to the Troops aired. I have my DVR all set for that great show.

Miz and Mizdow chatted with Naomi. Well, Miz did all the talking. Miz told Naomi she really needed to make a choice between her hubby, Jimmy, and the man who could help her career, The MIz. Miz said Naomi would be his guest on MizTV, on Main Event. Miz didn’t think Jimmy would have an issue with Naomi being on MizTV. Oh yeah, he won’t be ticked off. Miz even suggested that she shouldn’t tell Jimmy. Dig the hole deeper, Miz.

Renee talked with Seth Rollins, backstage. Seth felt this whole situation was ridiculous. Seth whined about having to be in a Steel Cage Match. Seth said the WWE was now a Lawless Region. Seth mentioned Jericho getting attacked, though he thought Chris deserved it. Seth made it clear that The Authority needs to be placed back in power. Seth was ready to teach John Cena a lesson that he would not soon forget. Right. We believe that.

Next week’s Raw General Manager will be…HoHo Hogan! That should be a lot of fun.

Seth Rollins vs John Cena
Steel Cage Match

The fight got going really early. Seth tried to get out but John caught him and pounded away. John blocked a Rush into the cage. Big Kick by Seth. Seth then slammed John into the cage wall. Seth with a Flying Forearm in the corner. Seth talked massive trash to Cena. John with a Slingshot but Seth used it as an advantage to start up the cage. John caught him and planted Seth with a Bulldog off the top rope. 1-2-Not Yet.

John started to climb out but had to stop and rush over to prevent Seth from going out the door. Both men tried to get out the door. It was close but neither could get both feet on the floor. The door was eventually shut and locked. Back Elbow by Seth into a Buffbuster. 2 count, again. Seth started to climb out but John was too quick. Seth went for a Sunset Bomb but had to settle for a Buckle Bomb. 2 count. It was time for another commercial break.

After the break, the fight came back as hot and heavy as it was before learning more about the Chrisley family. (Haven’t they cancelled that show, yet?) Cena went Vintage on Seth. Seth kicked Cena in the head before John could hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Mercury was on the cage and Cena threw Seth into him. Attitude Ajustment but it didn’t bring the 3. Jamie Noble blocked the door so Cena couldn’t get out. Cena climbed between the door and the ropes. He Shouldered Noble off the door. Seth caught John and went up top. Seth kept hitting John, who could have fallen through. Cena flew off the turnbuckles to hit the Legdrop. Another 2 count. Cena tried to escape the cage but Seth grabbed the leg to keep John in the ring. Seth went up but John brought him down. Seth held onto the cage to avoid the AA. Knee Trembler off the ropes by Seth but it was still only a two count.

Seth shook out his leg and talked trash to Cena. Seth said this is what John asked for. Seth threw John into the cage wall. Seth yelled that John has cost him two huge matches and it was time to pay. Seth threw John into another one of the cage walls. John reversed the Whip and Seth struck the cage. John tried to crawl for the exit door. Joey Mercury slammed the cage door into Cena and Seth almost got the pin. Seth set up for the Curb Stomp but missed it. John went into the STF. Seth crawled towards the door. Seth went to the eyes. Cena hooked the leg and pulled him back in. Joey and Jamie tried to pulled Seth out but John would not be denied. Jamie slid the Money in the Bank Briefcase in the ring. Enziguri by Seth brought another 2 count. Jamie and Joey screamed at Seth to use the briefcase. Cena ducked a Briefcase Shot and Clotheslined Seth out of his boots, almost.

John and Seth traded hard fists. Cena lifted Seth for another AA. Seth landed on his feet and cracked John with the briefcase. Could be…might be…Denied! Joey told Seth to climb out of the cage. Cena found a last minute burst of speed. Cena pulled Seth back in, by the hair. Tope Rope Attitude Adjustment! Both men were down and stunned. Hope Seth tucked his chin (smile and nod to my buddy, Doyle, who helped train me – what little training I was able to do).

Brock Lesnar then stormed from the back. Michael Cole screamed that both men were dead meat. Brock entered and looked at both men. Brock with the Rolling Germans to Cena. He hit 3 of them in short order. All the color drained out of Seth’s face as he watched this. F5 to Cena. Brock turned to stare at Seth. Heyman stepped between the two men and offered his hand to Seth. Huh? They shook hands and Paul and Brock stepped out of the ring. The announcers were totally confused by what was going on. Seth sat on the top turnbuckle for quite some time. He got down to Curb Stomp Cena. Seth weighed his options and went over to get his briefcase. He limped towards the door but stopped. Seth eventually worked his way down the steps to take the win.

Your Winner: Seth Rollins
Raw Ranking: 3.0

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

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