WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @WWE RAW

Posted October 7th, 2014 by jshannon

Hell in a Cell is fast approaching. This week, two major were set in place. Plus, Rusev and Lana came face to face with one of the biggest stars in all of WWE History.

The show opened with a look back at Dean Ambrose’s return of the booby-trapped Money in the Bank Briefcase. It exploded with green slime into the chest and face of Seth Rollins.

We then went live in Brooklyn, NY. Seth stormed down to the ring with his briefcase, in hand. Seth demanded that his music be cut off. Seth did not think the stunt, last week, was funny. Seth ordered footage of him Curb Stomping both Dean Ambrose and John Cena, after the main event. Seth screamed that is what happens when he gets disrespected. Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury came out to stop Seth and get him to leave the ring. Seth yelled that he was a Marked Man and had a huge target on his back. Seth loved being on the radar as the center of attention. John Cena rushed the ring and went to attack Seth. Rollins bailed out and took off through the crowd. Seth ran into Dean Ambrose, in the crowd. Dean beat the daylights out of Seth. Rollins rushed down towards the ring and Cena pounded away. Dean jumped the barricade and dropped Seth…and John. Mercury and Noble rushed over to protect Seth, who took off like a scalded dog.

HHH and Stephanie emerged from the back. Stephanie said they would not let the show dissolved into chaos. HHH understood that both Ambrose and Cena wanted to get a piece of Rollins. The Authority is all about opportunity. Stephanie asked the crowd if they wanted to see John Cena and Dean Ambrose get their hands on Seth Rollins. HHH agreed to make the match of Dean Ambrose and John Cena vs Seth Rollins, Kane and Randy Orton in a 3-on-2 Handicap Match. Wow!

Dolph Ziggler and the Usos chatted backstage. It was time for a good, old-fashioned Six Man Tag Team war.

Goldust and Stardust (Cosmic Twins) and Cesaro vs Jimmy and Jey Uso and Dolph Ziggler
Six Man Tag Team Match

The Usos did an Insert video where they mocked the Cosmic Twins. “Bros before Weirdos”. I like it. Grin.

All Hell broke loose. The fight went out to the floor and Gold sent Jey Usos into the ring steps. Star went to attack the injured Jey. Star with a Knee Lift and Bouncing Stomp, off the ropes. Gold took the tag and blasted Jey. Jey fought back but Gold with ah Flying DDT. Tag to Cesaro. European Uppercut by the Swiss Superman. Cesaro boxed away but Jey got free and tagged to Jimmy. Flying Clothesline to drop Cesaro. Jimmy with Knife Edge Chops to light up Cesaro’s chest. Cesaro gave Jimmy a Knife Edge of his own. Rikishi Run by Jimmy. Tag to Star. It broke down into complete chaos as all six men got into it. Raw took a break to restore order, maybe.

Star had Jey in an Arm Bar. Hip Toss by Jimmy. Star with the StarDusting Upperkick. Tag to Cesaro. He mocked Dolph with a gyration and then hit the Jumping Elbow. Slider Dropkick by Cesaro to get a two count. Front Face Lock by Cesaro but Jey with a Small Package for two. Goldust tagged back in and dropped a knee. 1-2-not yet. Gold stood on Jey’s ear. Ouch. Jey punched and chopped away. Tags to Dolph and Cesaro.

Dolph took down Cesaro with a Flying Clothesline. Corner Splash and Sailing Neckbreaker by Dolph. He missed the Famouser but hit an amazing Tilt-a-Whirl Sleeper. Cesaro dropped down to his knees but got up and Back Rushed Dolph into the corner. Famouser but Goldust made the save. The Usos flew out of the ring to lay out the Cosmic Twins. Cesaro with a European Uppercut but one of the Usos prevented the pin. Dolph with a Roll Up. StarDust caught Dolph with Dark Matter but Dolph kicked out at tow. The action outside the ring wa just plain brutal. Jimmy got the tag. Triple Superkick to StarDust. Jimmy with an amazing Frog Splash to take the win.

Your Winners: The Usos and Dolph Ziggler
Raw Ranking: 3.0 out of a possible 5

Raw showed highlights of John Cena on Today, earlier on Monday. He was pushing Susan G. Komen. Kathy Lee and Hoda were set to show up on Raw, next.

The Exotic Express helped welome Kathy Lee and Hoda to Raw. Adam had the ladies on either arm. Rose had traded in his lime green coat for a well Rose-colored one. Rose welcomed the ladies to the show. They were there to push Susan G. Komen. The fans were bored with the women, rather quickly. Kathy and Hoda toasted the crowd. Get back to wrestling, please. Hoda waned the music cranked up so she could do her Crazy Dance. Naps are a fun thing and I just had one. Jeez. Kathie Lee and Hoda had a Bottle fight to the hineys. Adam came back in and said the girls would fit in, nicely. Lawler suggested there should be a Bottle Royal. Adam, Kathie Lee and Hoda did the Back Surfing thing. They took the women to the back. Thank Heavens for that.

A video promo aired for Luke Harper’s Release into Freedom. Creative so needs to quit splitting up good teams.

Bo Dallas vs Mark Henry

Bo has beaten Mark, twice, in the last week. Mark slowly walked to the ring until he got near the ring. He then rushed after Bo. Bo bailed out of the ring. Bo got back in and the bell rang. Clubbing Blows and Headbutts by Mark. Corner Shoulder, by Mark, nearly cut Bo in half. Bo slid out of the ring, off a Whip. Mark came out to get Bo. Mark slammed Bo’s face into the announce table and then ran him into the ring post. Mark Whipped Bo into the barricade. Mark went to slam Bo on the table but Dallas flipped backwards. Bo made it back into the ring at 9. Mark was a step too slow.

Your Winner (by Count Out): Bo Dallas
Raw Ranking: .5

Raw flashed back to the opening segment.

Dean Ambrose strolled out to the ring. Dean said something was bothering him. Dean didn’t like John Cena getting up in his “space”. Raw looked back to Smackdown, when Cena left Dean to attack Rollins. Dean was double teamed by Randy Orton and Kane. Cena came back, after the damage was done. Dean had warned Cena not to give him a reason to dislike John. Dean was trying, real hard, to get along with Cena. Dean asked John to come out and hash this out with him.

John agreed to come out and chat. Cena thanked the fans for their raucous greeting. John reminded everyone that Dean was unstable. John also talked about how Dean tried to come after him. John said they both understood each other so they were clear. John started to leave but Dean stopped him to say they didn’t give a crap about each other. They also don’t care what others think of them. Dean explained he had no problem dropping Cena where he stood and going against The Authority, solo. John brought up the 5 Week “Vacation” that The Authority gave Dean, via a Curb Stomp on cinder blocks. John appreciated Dean’s attitude but reminded him that John had no problem dropping Dean’s *ss. The two men stared daggers at each other. Dean said he was going to take off for Coney Island. Dean left the ring and just walked to the back. What the heck? John looked completely confused. I know I was…

Raw showed Dean going down to get on the subway (the Q Train). That’s the line that The Warriors took to get home. Just watched that movie, last night. John, on the other hand, walked around until he ran into HHH. HHH poked a stick at the angry dog that was John Cena with shots about Dean taking a hike. HHH didn’t think 3-on-1 sounded fair. Cena wasn’t worried about it. He would go through whatever was necessary to get his hands on Seth. HHH said Seth Rollins would start the match against John Cena, later tonight. I smell a rat.

Brie Bella (arm tied behind her back) vs Summer Rae

Summer threw Brie into the corner and used her long legs to choke Brie. Summer then banged Brie’s head into the corner. Nikki came out to watch this match. Brie punched away with her free arm. Summer dropped Brie and then kicked her. Layla, who was at ringside, taunted Brie. Summer choked Brie with the knee. Brie pulled Summer into Layla. Knee Trembler by Brie.

Your Winner: Brie Bella
Raw Ranking: 1.0

In the office, there was a fruit basket. Miz and Miz-dow came in and Miz aid it was a gift to The Authority as way of an apology. Miz-Dow mimicked Miz. Kane said they didn’t want apologies or fruit. Knae scheduled Miz to fight Sheamus, tonight. Miz-Dow took the fruit basket as he and Miz left.

Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) vs Tyson Kidd (w/Natalya)

Tyson and Nattie have been having issues, as of late. Jack charged Tyson, at the bell. Side Headlock and Float Over by Kidd. Shoulder Tackle by Jack. Whip by Jack but Tyson slid out to the floor. Jack came to get the guy but Tyson used Nattie as a shield. That ticked off Nattie. Kidd kicked Jack in the face. He tried to High Five Nattie but she just grumbled at her hubby.

Back in the ring, Thson choked Jack with the boot. Funk Neckbreaker by Tyson got the Canadian a two count. Rear Chin Lock by Tyson. Spin Kick by Tyson but Jack came back with a huge Biel. Swagger Bomb! Tyson with a School Boy. Tyson tried to go for a Sharpshooter but almost fell to the Patriot Lock. Tyson went up top and Jack pulled him down and applied the Patriot Lock. Jack dragged Tyson to mid-ring and Kidd tapped out.

Your Winner: Jack Swagger
Raw Ranking: 1.5

Tyson was not happy at his spouse for helping him.

Edge and Christian were set to be on the WWE Network to do a Highlight Reel…err…Cutting Edge…uhm Peep Show about the history of Smackdown.

Michael Cole was talking via satellite with Roman Reigns. Roman got a huge pop from the crowd. Cole asked for an update. Roman was counting the days until he could return to action. Roman was keeping a positive attitude about coming back sooner rather than later.

Raw then looked back at Night of Champions, when Seth Rollins spoiled John Cena’s shot at the WWE World Title.

El Torito vs Mini-Gator (sigh)

Poor Hornswoggle went from being a leprechaun through being a diminutive rock star (Mini-Slate) to this stupid gator thing. At least it’s a paycheck, I guess.

MG talked with Titus and Heath. Torito stomped and Gator went down to all floors. Torito kept jumping out of the way. Torito jumped on Gator’s back and covered him up with a cape. This was to calm down a Gator. Jeez. “This is Stupid!” rang out. Gator got uncovered by Heath and Gator Rolled Slater. The fans booed like Hell, as they should. Torito Gored Titus off the apron. Gator crashed into the corner. Toritocanrana.

Your Winner: El Torito
Raw Ranking: .25 (only got that high a rating because they ticked off the Brooklyn crowd)

Rusev and Lana came out to discuss what Big Show had done to their Russian flag, last week. Big Show is undergoing Sensitivity Training, in the back. Lana said Monday was Vladimir Putin’s birthday (big deal). Lana told everyone that Big Show has been suspended for his actions towards the Russian flag. A “USA” chant rose from the crowd. Lana handed the microphone to Rusev. He started babbling away in Bulgarian or Russian or whatever it is he speaks. He switched to English to say America was nothing and Big Show was afraid of him. Rusev called out Big Show, who was not allowed to come out. Rusev yelled that Big Show was a coward and so are the fans. He kept yelling and screaming until…

THE ROCK RETURNED!

Rock came out in a Brooklyn jacket. The place absolutely exploded. Rock strolled down to the ring to confront the Russian duo. Rock grinned at the crowd before he began to speak. There was a deafening “Holy S**t” chant. Even USA didn’t edit that one out. Rock wanted Rusev and Lana to Know your Role and Shut your Mouth. Rock ran down his day’s agenda. Rock joked about Rusev having his tights riding so high. Rock then ran down all the burrows that he visited, earlier today. Rock got a great “Derek Jeter” chant going. “Finally, the Rock has come back to Brooklyn”.

Lana cut Rock off and tried to read him the riot act. Rock was almost amused. She dared to tell Rock to Shut Up. Click. Click. Boom. He told Lana to quit dressing like a Soviet Street Walker. Rusev took the stick but couldn’t say a word, at first. He called Rock an American Piece of Garbage. Rusev threatened to Crush Rock. Rock mocked Rusev for such a lame retort. He said Rusev’s breath smelled like “Chewbacca’s hairy bean bag”. Rock talked about hot smokin’ Lana looked. (I have to agree). He did say she looked like someone had shoved a Smirnoff Bottle up her Putin. Rock told Rusev it didn’t matter what Rusev thinks. Rock wanted to share a fact with Rusev. The fans didn’t boo Rusev because he support Russian, they boo them because they are “a couple of World Class A-Holes”. That helped the crowd launch a full blown “A**h*les” chant.

Lana started talking about Putin, again. She told Rock that Rusev, like a wolf, is hungry. Rusev took off his fancy medal and got ready to fight. Rock quoted Jay-Z, which led atypical Rock quote before Rock opened up on Rusev. Rock punched Rusev up and over the top rope. Sweet! Rusev was ticked as Rock did his “If you Smell what the Rock is cooking!”

Serment Grade: 4.80

Rock came around to shake hands with the crowd and the announce team. Rock went over the barricade to hug a couple of kids in the front row. That was cool.

Raw looked back at Dean’s departure from earlier.

Paige and Alicia Fox vs Emma and A.J. Fox

A.J. did not want to work with Emma. Lee stated, earlier, that she was stuck with Emma, as a partner. Lee opened the match against Fox. Spin Kick by Lee and then Lee threw Fox into Paige. A.J. rammed Paige into the announce table. Paige ran for the hills. Emma begged for the tag and got it. Fox hit a Running Knee and threw Emma to the outside. Kick by Emma into a Emmamite Sandwich, which failed. Fox threw Emma into the corner which led to the Dil-Emma (Tarantula). Emmemite Sandwick (Slider Crossbody) but Emma stopped to dance. That ticked off A.J. who left. Emma asked Lee to come back. Paige just waited and hit a Thrust Kick. Paige took out Emma with the Ram-Paige.

Your Winners: Paige and Alicia Fox
Raw Ranking: .5

Amazing promo by Rock and a ton of mediocre, at best, matches.

Time for a promotional video about Erick Rowan being released. The end of the segment saw a pregnant woman’s belly with the words “It’s Coming” magically showing up on the skin. Bizarre.

Not only was Monday Putin’s birthday but it was the 79th birthday of the legendary Bruno Sammertino. God Bless ya, Champ.

The Miz vs Sheamus
Non-Title Match

Damien Miz-Dow was, of course, at ringside as Miz’s Stunt Double. Sheamus ran Miz to the corner. Miz got free and warned Sheamus not to go after his face. Sheamus rushed after Miz after the A-Lister slapped the Irishman. Sheamus reversed a Whip and hit a Back Elbow. Miz with a Back Elbow and clubbing shots and knee lifts. Running Scoop Slam by Sheamus. Sheamus went up the ropes but Miz rolled out of the ring. Miz snapped Sheamus over the top rope. Miz flew off the top and got blasted in the ribs. Sheamus blocked the Skull Crushing Finale. MIz dodged the Brogue Kick, as Raw went to break.

Miz with the Side Headlock to contain the US Champ. Sheamus stomped on the foot and then punched away. Miz started to do the Reality Check but chose to send Sheamus into the corner. He stomped away at Sheamus. Miz choked Sheamus with the boot and then dragged Sheamus out for a pin attempt. The fans screamed “We want Sandow”. Damien nailed a Cheap Shot which got a great reaction from the crowd. Miz jumped on Sheamus’ back and got a two count. Arm Bar and shots to Sheamus’ ribs. Miz switched to a Rear Chin Lock. The fans were getting to Miz with their cheers for Sandow. Double Sledges by Sheamus. Shotgun Knnes into a Bulldog Bounce Powerslam, by Sheamus. Sheamus prepped for the Brogue Kick. The fans actually booed Sheamus. Damien pulled Miz to the outside. SHeamus took out Damien. Miz with a cheap shot and ran Sheamus into the barricade. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick to Damien but Miz with a Roll Up to take the surprise win.

Your Winner: The Miz
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Sheamus, chair in hand, chased Miz and Damien to the back.

Michael Cole talked about Susan G. Komen. He sent it to a flashback to Hulk Hogan’s speech from last week. Hogan wore pink to the ring, in support. Too cool.

Joan Lunden came out to speak about her battle against cancer. Jerry Lawler identified some breast cancer survivors in the crowd. Hey got a standing ovation. Lawler then brought out Joan Lunden. Joan is currently battling breast cancer. The fans showed serious respect to Lunden, which was so nice to see. Her talk was so inspiring. She thanked the fans for making her and other braver and stronger with their support. Lunden then identified the survivors in the crowd. I was fighting back the tears as the fans showed their love to these valiant warrior princesses. My mom is a 2-time breast cancer survivor and so this cause is so close to my heart.

Oh, dear. One of the Real Housewives is coming to Raw, next week. Why? Edge and Christian were back to promote their show on WWE Network.

John Cena vs Seth Rollins, Kane and Randy Orton
3-on-1 Handicap Match

Seth stalked Cena, or so it seemed. He strolled over and tagged out to Kane. Cena blasted Kane and then took a shot at Seth. Kane dropped John and stomped away. Kane tagged out to Randy. Corner Clothesline by Randy. He stomped on John’s hand. Randy with measured punches but John came back with a few shots. Snap Powerslam by Randy. 2 count. Kane took the tag and sent John to the corner. Hard Clothesline with a tag to Seth.

Seth bounced around like Ali and boxed John. This is the home of the great Boxing Champ, Riddick Bowe. Shotgun Knees by Seth. John unleashed with a few hard shots but Seth with a Buffbuster. 2 count. Seth taunted John and pushed John around. Seth choked John in the ropes. Randy clocked John. Cena with a Clothslien to Seth and shots to Kane and Randy. John went Vintage on Seth. Five Knuckle Shuffle but he couldn’t hit the AA. Kane rushed in and hit the Big Boot. The ref called for the DQ. Really? CHokeslam by Kane. That was a pitiful ending to this match.

Your Winner (by Disqualification): John Cena
Raw Ranking: 1.25

Dean Ambrose returned with a Hot Dog Cart. Dean brought he cart down to the middle of the ramp. Dean chewed away on a hot dog. It was the old west as Dean brought up ketchup and mustard from a pair of holsters. Dean sprayed Rany with mustard and Kane with ketchup. Dean ran the cart into Randy and Kane and then rushed the ring. Seth took a serious beating. AA to Orton. And Flying Clothesline to Kane. Dean with a Suicide Dive to Seth. Dean then dumped sauerkraut and hot dog buns and relish all over Seth. Dean got the tongs and hit a Testicular Claw. Ouch!. Kane came to Seth’s aid. Kane, however, felt an AA for his troubles.

HHH and Stephanie strolled out from the back. HHH felt it was quite a mess. HHH understood that both John and Dean still wanted to fight Seth. Before that happens, John Cena and Dean Ambrose will fight each other at Hell in a Cell. The winner of that match will get Seth, inside Hell in a Cell! John and Dean looked at each other. Dean planted Cena with the Cactus Jack Double Underhook DDT!

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com
Twitter.com/jayshannonnv

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