Posted May 20th, 2014 by jshannon

Raw hopped the Big Pond, this week. Londoners saw a Beat The Clock Series to find a new Number One Contender for Bad News Barrett’s Intercontinental Title. Plus, a wild return made life difficult for one Diva.

Bray Wyatt and his boys were in the ring. Bray started the “Whole World” sing-a-long. Enough with this crap, already. The crowd really appreciated the False Prophet’s mind games. It was alike a twisted rock concert. Wyatt then began to preach to the masses about travesties that have happened and how dreams turn us into superheroes. Wyatt said we are not the heroes we dream about. Wyatt was ready to fix things in our world. He blathered on about a mean teacher that called him a piece of trash and said Bray would never amount to anything. YAWN! The teacher claimed Bray was evil. Bray said he was the Man of 1000 Troops. He got “Whole World” started, again. Bray did admit that he was evil. He explained that his evil balanced everything out. Bray said his evilness offered hope to the down-trodden. That kicked in a “Cena Sucks!” chant. Bray was certain that he would be the Last Man Standing. Bray said Luke Harper would fight John Cena, later on…

Thankfully, John Cena arrived to shut down Bray’s rant. Luke and Erick jumped out of the ring to face Cena. Cena out-smarted them by sliding in the other side of the ring. He planted Bray with the Attitude Adjustment and then slid out of the ring.

The announcers updated Daniel Bryan’s condition. He did have successful neck surgery. A video ran about last week’s attack on Daniel Bryan, pre-surgery, aired. Stephanie McMahon had called Daniel out about the WWE World title. Kane dragged an unconscious Bryan out and left him on the stage. Brie Bella-Danielson went off on Stephanie, shoving her and telling Stephanie to stay away. No one knows what the status of the WWE World title was. They were hoping to have an answer by the end of the night.

Paul Heyman was in the ring with Cesaro. Whew. We missed almost all of Cesaro’s horrible entrance theme. Paul was offended that the crowd kept interrupting him. Paul reminded the fans that he and Cesaro were the stars and those around them were the Wanna-bes. Paul demanded that the fans worship him. Sigh. Paul had to brag, for the umpteenth time, about how Brock Lesnar beat Undertaker. Give it a break, will you? I re-watched that match, last night, on WWE Network, and it still amazed me that Brock managed to win.

Cesaro vs Sheamus
Non-Title Match

Collar and Elbow and Sheamus pushed out. They then went to the corner. Cesaro with a slap to the face. Sheamus responded with a Clothesline. Cesaro barely escaped the 10 Beats. Paul talked strategy with his client. Chase around the ring led to Cesaro stomping on Sheamus as they slid in the ring. Whip by Cesaro. Sheamus blocked a Hip Toss and hit a Clothesline. Sheamus got his 10 Beats in. Cesaro got out of White Noise and went to the floor. Paul told Cesaro to stick with the game plan. The two fought on the floor. Cesaro snapped Sheamus’ neck on the top rope. Cesaro with wild punches. A “JBL” chant broke out, for no apparent reason. Single Barrel Shotgun Knee by Sheamus into the Battering Ram. “Jerry!” chant was next. Sheamus hit the ropes and tumbled to the floor. A “Cole” chant was rising as the show went to break.

We’re back and the fight had risen to a hotter level. Cesaro with several European Uppercuts. Whip into a Sleeper by the Swiss Superman. Paul was shrieking like the Irish Banshee at Sheamus. Double Sledges by Sheamus. Sheamus charged and struck the ring post. Cesaro brought Sheamus up and over in a wild Superplex. 2 count. Sheamus retreated to the corner. Irish Curse Backbreaker, for two. Sheamus got a wicked grin as he stared at Cesaro. He took Cesaro to the corner and hit the Mr. Wrestling II Running Knee and the Rolling Senton. The ref nearly got taken out. Charles Robinson isn’t a young man, anymore.

Cesaro with a hard Whip after a slug fest. Sheamus with a kick to the knee and chest. Sheamus rolled up the ropes. Sheamus went for the Battering Ram but Cesaro nailed a European Uppercut. Front Face Lock by Cesaro. Sheamus countered with a hard Clothesline. The two men fought on the knees and then to their feet. It was pretty much evenly matched until Sheamus caught Cesaro with a Powerslam. Paul got on the apron. The distraction allowed Cesaro to win with a German Suplex. Seriously?

Your Winner: Cesaro
Raw Ranking: 2.75 out of a possible 5

After the match, Sheamus offered a handshake. Cesaro disrespected the Irishman by walking past the handshake. That was not a wise move, Fella.

It was announced that The Shield vs Evolution, at Payback, would now be a No Holds Barred Elimination Match. That led to a highlight package of last week’s Main Event from Raw.

There was a German Announce Team, this week. I have a few acquaintances in Germany and they are class acts. Alex Wright, formally of WCW, has a wrestling school in Germany and has produced some fantastic talents, including a Diva that the WWE should really check out.

Big E vs Ryback
Beat The Clock Challenge Match #1

Ryback is now billed from Las Vegas. Ryback cut an insert video where he claimed time was up for Big E.

Side Headlock Pushoff to open the bout. Ryback tied for a pin at 11 seconds. It failed. Knee Strikes by Big Hungry. Curtis Axel was at ringside. Whip by Ryback but Big E came out with a Clothesline. JBL talked, in German, about spending 2 years there (if my high school German is still working. Irving High School put us kids through French, German and Spanish. I stuck with Spanish, as it is/was the second most popular language in the area.

Ryback stomped at E’s chest. Big E with an Overhead Throw for a 2 at 1:34. “Goldberg” chant broke out. Ryback with a Chop Block and stomps. Suplex by Ryback. Crossfaces by Ryback. Headbutt by Big Hungry. Ryback worked over Big E’s ribs and chest with punches and Knife Edge Chops. 2 count at the 3 minute mark. Ryback pulled Big E into Shoulders. Big E with a Belly to Belly Suplex. Ryback blocked the Big Splash and hit a Spinebuster. 2 count.

Ryback did a King Kong thing and set for the Meat Hook Clothesline. 2 count at 4:15. Big E fell out of a Power Lift. Big E hit Clotheslines on Ryback and then Axel. Big Ending.

Your Winner (at 5:02): Big E
Raw Ranking: 2.0

Raw showed a touching interaction between several of its WWE and NXT stars with some of the young men and women of Special Olympics. My nephew, Robbie, is a Special Needs child and he competed, from time to time. My sister, Bettie, sent me a photo, not too long ago, of Robbie with his medal. It was a proud moment for Uncle Jay. Smile. It takes me back to something I was told a long time ago by a nice lady who was helping me learn to cook after I lost a great deal of my sight. It may sound cheesy but she said “You are NOT disabled, you are simply Differently-Abled”.

Back to the action. R-Truth came out with Naomi and Cameron. I know Tensai is now over on NXT but what happened to Brodus Clay?

R-Truth and one of the Funkadactyls vs Fandango and Layla
Mixed Tag Team Match

I say one of the Funkadactyls because the match never really got started. Fanny played tonsil hockey with Layla and suddenly Summer Rae rushed out to her new music. She got into a mega-Cat Fight with Layla.

Your Winner: Match Never Happened
Raw Ranking: N/A

My Grandson, Tim, gave this “Match” an 11. He is 19, after all. Grin.

Daniel Bryan’s music hit but it was Stephanie McMahon who came out. The fans were not happy to see her, at all. This was the first hour, Hour Turner, segment. Stephanie said Daniel did have successful neck surgery. She talked about the Daniel/Brie wedding which will air on Sunday on Total Divas. Stephanie knew Daniel was the fans’ champion. Stephanie had some Bad News for Daniel but she let Wade Barrett do the Bad News thing, via the Tron. She did a seriously phony British accent. Stephanie said she was considering stripping Daniel of the WWE World title. She mentioned a few people that she was considering giving the title to: Kane, Barrett, Batista, or Triple H. Stephanie said she would not strip him of the title. She did demand that Daniel Bryan come to Raw, next week, and surrender the title…because it was Best for Business.

The Union Jacks (3MB) returned in their British Flag outfits. They came out to a version of Satisfaction. It was just different enough for Creative not to get sued, but it definitely had the Stones feel to it.

Heath Slater vs Rusev

Heath had some fun with the crowd but he was cut off by the arrival of Lana. Yummy. Tim just decided he wanted to go visit Russia. Smile. She rambled on, as usual, about how Russia is great and everyone else is trash. She definitely looks better than the Iron Sheik, who did the same schtick back in the early 1980s.

The fight started on the floor. Heath came over the top but Rusev just annihilated him. He also took out the other Jacks. Rusev pitched heath into the ring. The bell sounded. Heath with a hard kick and punches. Stone Wall by Rusev. Bulgarian Bounce to Heath. Accolade! Tap Out!

Your Winner (by Submission): Rusev
Raw Ranking: 1.0

The Shield cut a promo about Evolution. Dean accused Evolution of being afraid of The Shield. Dean wanted a team that wanted to fight them. Roman said he took 9 stitches and wondered if that was all Evolution had. Roman said they didn’t stop. Seth stepped in and discussed making a mistake against Batista, a couple weeks ago. Seth was hot that Boo-Tista tried to end his career. Seth was certain that he would not make any mistakes, tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs Rob Van Dam
Beat The Clock Challenge Match #2
Time to Beat: 5:02

Del Rio did an Insert Video saying that he needed to win the title to be a Role Model for the children. Ok, What-the-heck-ever.

Collar and Elbow into a Del Rio Go Behind. School Boy and Small Package by RVD. Rolling Leg Scissors by RVD. ADR with a hard kick. ADR cracked RVD in the skull. 2 count. Big E watched, from the back. Del Rio with a Suplex for two. Whip into the Monkey Flip by RVD. ADR hit the floor but got caught. Superkick by ADR as RVD tried to enter the ring. 2 count for ADR at 3:23 to go.

Rear Chin Lock by ADR. RVD got to his feet and punched away. Clotheslines by RVD. Thrust Kick by RVD into a wicked Leg/Butt Drop. Back Stabber by ADR. RVD reversed the Cross Arm Breaker and hit a modified Rolling Thunder. RVD went to the corner and flew. He missed the Five Star Frog Splash and almost got pinned.

Step Up Enziguri by ADR as the clock hit the final minute mark. ADR sent for the Superkick but RVD with a Roll up with 47 seconds left on the clock.

Your Winner: Rob Van Dam
Raw Ranking: 3.0
New Time to Beat: 4:15

The announcers discussed NXT. It’s a great show over on the WWE Network. I so enjoy just pulling that up on the laptop, placing the headphones on and tuning out the rest of the world.

Renee Young interviewed John Cena. She asked him if he had a game plan for the Wyatts. Cena would have the Usos in his corner to keep things even. Cena said he would have to face a hostile crowd at Payback. Cena talked about having the heart of a champion. They did a weird musical number.

Elsewhere, Evolution talked strategy. Randy said it was time to take out the Shield, one by one, at Payback. HHH told Batista to take out Seth Rollins, all by himself (wink wink).

Seth Rollins vs Batista

Supposedly everyone was banned from ringside, except the two performers and any assigned personnel. HHH came out as the Special Guest Ring Announcer. He announced Randy Orton as the Guest Timekeeper. Seth was ready for this baloney and introduced the Special Guest Commentators…Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. Supposedly, Brad Maddox (Raw’s General Manager) made the decision to have Dean and Roman at the announce desk. Of course, they DID have to “influence” his decision, a bit. HHH was seriously hot about this swerve.

The bell rang and Batista got into the ring. Batista kicked and pounded on Seth. Whip into a Clothesline by Batista. Shoulder Thrusts by Batista. Knife Edge Chops by Seth. Corner Mount Punches by Seth. Batista pulled Seth to the outside. Scoop by Batista but Seth slid out and hit an Enziguri. Break time.

The fight was on the floor as the show returned. Batista ran Seth over the steps. Batista bounced Seth’s head off the steps. Batista snapped Seth’s neck on the top rope. Slider Dropkick by Batista. HHH got real close to Seth but didn’t get involved. Batista took Seth back in and clamped on a Rear Chin Lock. Batista beat Seth in the skull, over and over. Batista with a modified Kokina Clutch. Seth with a Jawbreaker. Knife Edge Chops by Seth. Batista reversed a Whip and hit an Inside Out Back Elbow. 2 count.

Hammer Throw by Batista. HHH taunted Seth from the floor. Batista choked Seth on the middle rope. Batista put Seth on the top turnbuckle and punched away. Batista wanted a Superplex by Seth wasn’t ready to go. Seth rocked Batista with a pair of Headbutts. Buffbuster by Seth. I love that move. Batista got the boots up to stun Seth. Batista with a Whip but Seth with a kick and Flying Spin Neckbreaker. Awesome.

Flying Forearms by Seth. Seth blocked a German Suplex and later escaped. Seth hit a Dropkick that sent Batista sailing out through the ropes. Suicide Dive by Rollins. That kid so deserves gold. Seth threw Batista back in. Orton went to get involved and distracted Seth. That brought out Dean and Roman. Seth missed a Springboard move. Batista nailed the Spinebuster. Batista waited and charged for the Spear. Seth with a boot and the Springboard Knee Trembler for two plus. The fans were 100% behind Rollins. HHH pushed Seth off the ropes and Dean tore into The Fame. Randy jumped Dean and threw him over the German Announce Table. Roman then jumped randy. Orton blasted Roman with a steel chair. Dean Ambrose went across the announce table. HHH took out Dean and then blasted Seth in the face. Dean blocked the Pedigree. . Roman caught Batista with the Spear! The Shield stood strong. Batista barely escaped the Triple Powerbomb.

Your Winner: Match Thrown Out
Raw Ranking: 3.25

The WWE Slam of the Week featured Paige defeating Alicia Fox. After the match, Fox had a meltdown.

Alicia Fox vs Paige
Non-Title Match

OK, Tim is now seriously in-lust with Paige. He joked about liking older women. 2 years, jeez.

Fox went right after Paige with hard kicks. Paige came back with Headbutts and a pair of Hair Biels. Fox shrieked in anger. Paige almost ripped the shorts off Fox. Fox ran Paige into the barricade and then pushed her off to hit the floor. 2 count as they got back in the ring. Paige was stunned. Scoop Backbreaker by Fox for a two count. Fox worked over Paige’s arm and threw her into the corner, several times. Paige Turner but Fox kicked out, this time. Fox with a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker. Fox then ran Paige into the ring post, through the top and middle rope. Fox dragged Paige into mid ring and pinned her!

Your Winner: Alicia Fox
Raw Ranking: 1.0

Fox went wild, out around the announce table. She took Lawler’s crown and strolled around calling herself the Queen. She danced on the ring barrier and dumped a cup of soda on herself.

The Cena/Wyatt opening segment was revisited.

Luke Harper said that the Little Mouse (Cena) was playing a dangerous game. Bray came in and talked about Cena bringing others to the party. Bray said all three would eventually fall. Erick simple said “Run.”

Just a reminder that Tuesday evening, the finals of Season 4 of Ink Master will air. I am keeping my fingers crossed for Sausage. He is a decent guy with fantastic skills that just happens to be from Nevada, like me. Smile.

Mark Henry vs Dolph Ziggler
Beat The Clock Challenge Match #3
Time to Beat: 4:15

Dolph did an Insert Video where he admitted liking this type of match, because he was given the chance to Show Off.

The bell rang and Dolph started pounding on Mark. Henry came back with a hard, clubbing blow. Shoulder Tackle by Mark. Powerslam by the World’s Strongest Man. Mark Hip Tossed Dolph over the ropes into the ring. RVD watched the match on the monitor. Mark wasted far too much time waiting for Dolph to get back in the ring. Whip by Mark but Dolph with a Back Elbow. Odd version of the Famouser but Mark still kicked out at two. Dolph ended up on the floor. Dolph slid back in the ring at 1:45 left. Dropkick by Dolph. Dolph gathered his breath and nailed a 2nd Dropkick. 2 count at 1:05. Dolph climbed up the ropes and flew. Mark caught him and hit a Bulldog Bounce Powerslam. 1-2-Kick Out. Mark looked lost as he reached the last 20 seconds. Dolph hit the Zig Zag but didn’t have enough time to get the three count.

Your Winner: Time Limit Draw
Raw Ranking: 2.0

RVD came out to see the Tron with his image on it. RVD gets Bad News Barrett in 2 weeks. Barrett came out of nowhere to nail the Bull Hammer Elbow. The Brit fans loved it and love his “I’ve got some Bad News for ya” catchphrase. Barrett took the Foley Pop to all new heights with his talk of how the British set the time for the World. Barrett said he would not lose to a “Bloody Yank”. Biggest Pop of the Night! Hail Brittania! Rang out through the speakers. Gets me so in the mood to raid my video wall for some good stuff like Mr. Bean, Benny Hill or Fawlty Towers.

Renee Young brought out Adam Rose and the Rose-Buds. I so love this silliness. JBL just did not like the Bunny or some of the other characters. I did like Mr. Flibble (the Penguin). Yep, it’s a Red Dwarf reference that only a few would get. There was one guy in a straightjacket. Young looked for his “Cheeseburger” Ethan. He joked about Ethan having Sesame Seeds on his buns. Renee asked Adam what it meant to be a Rose-Bud. It means not to be a sour puss lemon. The fans started singing Adam’s theme music. Renee brought up Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter. Adam wanted Jackie and Zebbie to have a little fun. Adam had the Gunny dance. Tim and I both wanted to be the Bunny.

Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger crashed the party. Zeb questioned Adam’s morals. Zeb said he had a bone to pick with Rose. Jack and Zeb got in the ring. Zeb asked Jack to step back and let him handle this. Zeb said Adam and the Vernum (I think he meant Vermin) were a problem in Zeb’s country. The Rose theme went off, yet again. Zeb wondered about what germs were in the ring. Zeb was tired of being embarrassed. Zeb challenged Adam to a fight! Seriously? Adam didn’t want to fight such an old man. Jack with a Cheap Shot to Rose. Jack stomped away and screamed at Adam and his crew. “You’re a Lemon!” grew from the crowd. Rose exploded on Swagger. Jack bailed out. Adam clocked Jack when Swagger got up on the apron. The music rose as Adam told Renee that sometimes you have to fight but it was now Party Time!

Another great Bo-Lieve segment aired. Bo Dallas returns to Smackdown, this Friday. Hulk Hogan will also be on Smackdown, this week.

John Cena (with the Usos) vs Luke Harper (w/Erick Rowan and Bray Wyatt)

The Wyatts got the bigger pop in this one. Luke rushed John to the corner and blasted him with punches and Uppercuts. Hammer Throw by Luke. John reversed a Whip into a Bulldog and Running Boot. 2 count. John missed a Corner Rush, following a Whip. Luke with a Gut Wrench German. 2 count, again. Raw went to break.

Luke looked to Bray for inspiration. He punched Cena and went back to the ropes. Cena started to go Vintage but Luke nailed a Big Boot. Suplex by Harper for a two count. Cena with a Hell Pick but Luke didn’t fall for the STF. Protombomb. German Suplex by Luke. 2 count. Luke missed a Big Boot and ended up on the floor. Luke rushed back in the ting and got nailed with another Protobomb and Five Knuckle Shuffle. Luke powered out of the Attitude Adjustment to hit a Power Faceplant. Back Body Drop by Cena. Luke with a Running Hurancanrana and a dropkick that sent John to the floor. Suicide Dive by Harper.

Luke pitched John back into the ring. Luke asked for support and guidance. Back Elbow by Cena. Flying Tornado DDT, for a two. “Fruity Pebbles” rang out from the crowd. Cena with a Jumping Hurancanrana but Luke almost No Sold it and hit a Superkick. 2 count. Luke put John on the top turnbuckle and took him up into a Torture Rack. Running Neckbreaker. Wow! 2 count. Harper just went up a dozen notches with me and I was already very positive on this kid. Cena came back with a monster Clothesline. Sunset Flip by Harper but John moved into the STF. Harper dragged himself, and Cena, to the ropes. The Usos got involved to counter the Wyatt.s. Bray hit Sister Abigails to both Usos. Luke with his Michinoku Driver but only got a two. John hit the AA but Erick rushed the ring to draw the DQ.

Your Winner (by Disqualification): John Cena
Raw Ranking: 3.0

Bray got in the ring to attack John. Cena fought back but fell to Sister Abigail. The crowd starting singing “Whole World in his Hands”. Creepy. Erick and Luke pushed John to the outside. Erick and Luke took turns punishing Cena. Luke sent John into Erick. Erick sent Cena flying with the Fallaway Slam. Bray with Sister Abigail…on the stage! Bray started to sing as Luke counted to 10.The fans were seriously digging this whole thing.


–Jay Shannon

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