Posted May 13th, 2014 by jshannon

The Evolution vs The Shield war stepped up to a new level as the Battle of the Beasts saw Batista face Roman Reigns. Plus, Daniel Bryan had a huge announcement. Let’s check it out…

The show opened with a look back at Dean Ambrose getting screwed out of his US title, by way of a 20-Man Battle Royal. Sheamus took out Dean with a Brogue Kick and threw him out to claim the red, white and blue shielded (pun fully intended) strap. The Shield then ended up fighting the Wyatts…and Evolution. The Shield managed to hold their own against the six but Roman ended up pinned after Bray caught him with Sister Abigail.

Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns were in the ring and ready for war. Dean admitted that they got the crap kicked out of them, last week. Dean then said the Shield had risen and weren’t planning to go down again, any time soon. Dean demanded Evolution. Seth took over and said The Shield were chasing Evolution. Seth said his brothers and he were ready to run through Evolution. Seth said The Shield were planning to hunt down HHH, Randy Orton and Batista, tonight. Seth said Evolution WERE good, in the past, but they can’t evolve into a force that can beat The Shield. Roman was pacing and unable to speak, at first. He was so angry. Roman got a monster pop, from the crowd. Roman took an RKO, Pedigree and Triple Powerbomb. Roman wondered if that was all Evolution had. Wow!

A limo pulled in and the trio of HHH, Orton and Batista stepped out. Roman, Dean and Seth rushed to the back to meet with their bitter rivals. HHH was signing some papers and then started to move on. They got jumped by the rogue group. .Security and refs moved The Shield members back. Evolution was definitely rocked. Cool opening segment. This feud is actually one of the better ones in recent history.

Rob Van Dam vs Jack Swagger

Man, RVD has the best ring gear. The introductions bridged the first break. Zeb was in the ring, spouting off about how he has now added Adam Rose to his Deportation List (Adam is from the Bahamas). Zeb whined about Rose interrupting him, last week. He did manage to get a Rocky Horror Picture Show reference in. Bonus Points as RHPS is my all-time favorite movie.

The bell rang but the Exotic Express showed up to distract Swagger. I really like this kid Rose. Normally, this kind of character would irritate me but there is just something fun about the guy. Rose did the Mosh Pit Back Dive into his buddies. They danced around the ring as JBL brought up the Oddities and Kurrigan. If any of you wonder what Kurrigan is doing, these days, he is working in films. He is a key player in the Jimmy Hart movie, Monster Brawl. My autographed copy sits right here in The Sanctuary’s display wall. Smile.

Jack kept looking at the crazy crew. He forgot about RVD. RVD with a Thrust Kick and the Five Star Frog Splash!

Your Winner: Rob Van Dam
Raw Ranking: 2.0 (Bonus Points for the Exotic Express Experience)

JBL really doesn’t care for the Bunny in Rose’s entourage. Michael Cole sent it to a video highlight package about Paige. She is the youngest Divas champ, ever.

Even though this will post on Tuesday, Raw ran on a very special day…my youngest grandson’s 19th birthday. Damn, I feel old. Tim has been a multi-sport high school athlete and is just a few months away from heading into the Army to support the country he so truly loves. While he may, at times, be a pain in the butt (what 19-year old isn’t, at least sometimes?), he has been my favorite of the 3 boys since they came into my life 6 years ago. Happy Birthday, Timmer.

It was time for another of those great Bo-Lieve promos. Can’t wait for this kid to show up on Raw for his 2nd run.

Paige vs Alicia Fox
Non-Title Match

Fox had the stick and had something to say to the new championette. Fox said Paige has alienated every Diva in the locker room. She told Paige that she didn’t fit in. Fox then attacked Paige. She was stunned and somewhat hurt. The ref kept Fox back as he checked on the champ. The ref checked on Paige, who was stumbling, a bit. Fox screamed to ask Paige if she was ready to go. She said yes and the bell rang.

Fox jumped on Paige and threw hard knees. Scoop Backbreaker by Fox. She then dumped Paige out onto the floor, through the ropes. Fox came out and ran Paige’s back into the apron. Back in the ring, Fox stomped away on the champ and pulled Paige into Shoulder Blocks. Bridging Suplex by Fox for two. Rear Chin Lock by Fox.

Fox dropped Paige and pointed to members of the crowd. Whip into a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker by Fox. Fox paraded around and drew heat from the crowd. 2 count. Bow and Arrow into a Flying Surfboard. Fox dropped Paige, who hit hard on the face. Fox slammed Paige’s face, over and over. Fox went back to the Rear Chin Lock. Pagie tried to fight back but Fox kept up the pressure. Out of nowhere, Paige caught Fox with the Paige-Turner. 1-2-3!

Your Winner: Paige
Raw Ranking: 2.5 (decent match)

After the match, Fox had a serious meltdown. She tore up everything in sight and stole JBL’s Stetson. I haven’t seen a Temper Tantrum like that since the kid at Wal-Mart didn’t get the toy he wanted.

A highlight package aired of the situation between Daniel Bryan and Kane. Daniel Bryan had something to share with the WWE Universe…

Daniel came out to a huge pop. Daniel kept looking over his shoulder as he began to talk. Daniel talked about all the people that he has had to face, in recent months. Daniel admitted that he beat the odds to take the unified title at Wrestlemania. Daniel talked about he brutal beating that he took, a few weeks back. That beating led to a severe neck injury that is now going to require neck surgery. He didn’t come out and say that he was going to have to forfeit the title but I figure that may be coming. Neck surgery may well keep him out of action for quite a long time. Daniel discussed the people who will be thrilled to hear that his career might be over. Daniel acknowledged that there was a chance that he might have to retire, However, Daniel was determined to come back from this. I hope that he does have enough sense to really consider his options before rushing back to action. I truly hope that he will recover and return but I’d hate to think of him doing something rash and ending up crippled like some others from the past.

Michael Cole sent it to a package about the John Cena vs Bray Wyatt feud. Cena lost at Extreme Rules due to the appearance of a small child, singing an audio-warped version of “Whole World in his Hands”. It freaked out Cena, which allowed Bray to defeat Cena. Bray now claims that he is doing all this for the children and for the WWE Universe. This one is getting really disturbing and that seems to be the general attitude of the dozens of people that have written me, recently. I know of at least a couple of people who have turned off WWE programming until this sacrilegious storyline runs its course. I applaud the Creative Team for coming up with something that has garnered such attention but I have to say I, as a somewhat religious person, am offended that the WWE is pushing the whole Cult Religion aspect of this. I enjoy WWE and have since the early 80s, when cable first came to the Shannon household in Irving, Texas but this could turn me against it.

John Cena and the usos vs The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Erick Rowan and luke Harper)
Six-Man Tag Team Match

The introductions and such bridged a commercial break. Luke Harper started against Jey Uso. It is so hard to tell the twins apart since they updated their tattoos. Luke rushed Jey into the corner and hit a Double Thrust. He then ran Jey into another corner. Jey with a Thrust Kick and Rollup. 2 count. Dropkick by Luke. Uppercut by Like and tag to Erick Rowan. JBL and Cole compared Rowan and Harper to (Frank “Bruiser”) Brody and (Stan) Hansen.

Tag to Bray. John pointed at the wild leader of the demented family. Bray clocked Jey and then tagged back out to Luke. Elbow Smashes to Jey’s neck and a a few kicks. Hammer Throw by Luke. Jey so needed a tag. Luke with the Knife Edge Chop and Whip. Luke missed a Corner Rush and Jimmy Uso got the tag. Uppercut by the Samoan. Samoan Drop and Corner Mount Punches. Spinning Moonsault off the top rope by Jimmy. Uso went after Rowan and Wyatt but ate a Big Boot. 2 count, again.

Bray took the tag and kneed Jimmy, in the corner. Uppercut off a Whip by Bray. Tag to Luke. Elbow Drop to Jimmy’s neck. Alligator Roll by Harper. Harper moved into a Side Headlock from the seated position. Harper blasted Jimmy and tagged out to Rowan. Knee Drop by Rowan. Rowan lifted Jimmy and nailed a Backbreaker. Incredible power. Bray tagged back in and stomped away. Jimmy with a Thrust. The two went back and forth with punches and kicks. Bray with a Corner Splash. Jimmy got in a lucky shot and started towards his corner. Cena got the tag and went off on Rowan, who had also tagged. Vintage Time! Harper blocked the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Rowan held the ropes to avoid the Protobomb. Harper with a wild Spin Slam. Uranage by Gray on Jey. Jimmy with the Spinning Enziguri. Rowan with the Stone Wall on Jimmy. Cena caught Rowan in the SRF but Bray with the Backsplash Senton to break it up. Bray waned Sister Abigail but he Usos with Superkicks to Bray. Jimmy and Jey flew over to take out Harper and Bray. Cena with the Attitude Adjustment to Erick Rowan. Could be…Might be…It Is!

Your Winners: Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso and John Cena
Raw Ranking: 3.25

Bray got on the microphone and thanked John Cena for helping me to realize what he had to do. “Follow the Buzzards!” Zap out!

Evolution came out to face The Shield. After a recap of the earlier attack, Randy Orton said it was time to kick The Shield’s collective *sses. Randy wanted to put down the Hounds of Justice. Batista agreed. HHH said it was time to finish this thing with The Shield. HHH admitted that he created and grew The Shield. He felt that The Shield had got to big for their own good. HHH said their would be a rematch at Payback. HHH promised to dismantle the group, one by one. HHH said they would humble Dean, first. Then HHH would take down Seth Rollins. HHH said Evolution was going to make an example out of Roman. HHH said Roman would not come back from Payback. The Shield snuck in and jumped Evolution. No one saw them coming. Evolution took a back step to avoid a fight. Batista screamed that he wanted Reigns, tonight. Roman looked ready to go, right now.

The Total Divas class was around ringside. Interesting, Summer Rae wasn’t there. She hasn’t been seen in quite some time. I wonder if she has ended up like JoJo and has disappeared into oblivion?

Nikki Bella vs Natalya

I think it sucked the way that everyone made fun of Nattie’s paintings. They weren’t all that great but it wasn’t all that bad. Tacky cows insulted her.

The bell rang and the girls hooked up. Hip Toss and Nattie mounted Nikki. 2 count. Monkey Flip by Nikki. The girls from Total Divas were grading the match as it went along. Flip Drop Toe Hold by Nattie. JBL really trash talked Nattie’s art. Jackass. Nikki rocked Nattie after Natalya took her over with a rolling move. Knee Strikes by Nattie. Springboard Enziguri by Nikki. Slap Fest! Nattie slapped on a modified Inverted Abdominal Stretch. Nikki reversed the move. Hip Toss by Nattie that put Nikki in the ropes. Nattie tore into Nikki with Forearms to the neck. Drop Toe Hold by Nikki. Running Thrusts and Pushes on both sides. Roll Up by Nikki for a two. Jackknife Pin by Nattie. 2 count. Wheelbarrow pin backfired as Nikki held Natalya’s legs and pinned her.

Your Winner: Nikki Bella
Raw Ranking: 1.0

Nikki patted Natalya on the head. Nattie came out and went off on the girls. She so deserves better than this treatment. She should go to TNA, where they appreciate women wrestlers.

Raw showed how Sheamus won the US title, last week.

Rybaxle came out to their patchwork theme. It’s ok but not as good as the Rhodes Brothers mix. Curtis and Ryback tried to figure out who would face the new US champ. They flipped a coin and Axel won/lost.

Sheamus vs Curtis Axel
Non-Title Match

Sheamus and Axel in the Collar nad Elbow. Sheamus took Axel over from the Collar and Elbow. Axel bashed away but Sheamus came back. 2 count for Sheamus. European Uppercut by Sheamus. Axel reversed a Whip. Axel with a Kneelift. 2 count. Axel stomped away on the pale destroyer. The fans were bored with the match, early. Dropkick by Axel. Sheamus with he Rolling Senton. Corner High Knee by Sheamus. Axel tripped Sheamus and hit the Neckbreaker from the ropes. 1-2no. Sheamus escaped the Fisherman’s Suplex aka PerfectPlex. Sheamus caught Axel with the Cloverleaf! Tap Out.

Your Winner: Sheamus
Raw Ranking: 2.0

Sheamus jumped the Irishman and called for a match…

Sheamus vs Ryback
Non-Title Match

Rear Chin Lock by Ryback. Powerslam by Ryback. 2 count. Ryback kicked away at Sheamus, more as an insult than to injure. Scoop Slam by Ryback. Sheamus got the knees up to counter the Big Splash. Sheamus began to punch away at Big Hungry. Corner Mount Punches. Double Sledges by the Celtic Warrior. Mr. Wrestling II High Running Knee. Sheamus with the 10 Beats. Sheamus went for the Springboard Battering Ram but got caught. Clutch Jawbreaker by Ryback. 2 count. Ryback wasted a ton of time, showing off. Ryback loaded up the Meat Hook but fe White Noise. 2 count, yet again. Curtis Axel with the cheerleader bit. Ryback escaped the Cloverleaf and the Brogue Kick. Spinebuster brought Ryback the two count. Ryback with hard punches to the face of the US champ. Bulldog Bounce Powerslam by Sheamus. 2 count. Sheamus looked so tired. Sheamus psyched himself up. Meat Hook Clothesline by Ryback. Sheamus escaped Shell Shocked and nailed the Brogue Kick!

Your Winner: Sheamus
Raw Ranking: 2.25

Stephanie McMahon strolled out to the ring. She kinda looked like she was pregnant but maybe that was just the cut of her jacket. Stephanie mocked Daniel’s earlier promo. Stephanie said Daniel just wasn’t an A+ Player. She said she has been trying to protect Daniel but he would not listen. Stephanie asked Daniel to come to the ring (most likely to surrender the title belts). He didn’t come out.

Suddenly, Kane’s music hit and he dragged out an unconscious Daniel Bryan! Stephanie looked semi-shocked at the sight. Kane left Daniel on the ramp and then strolled to the back. Daniel’s shirt was all ripped and his forehead looked ready to start pouring blood. The EMTs came out with a stretcher. Brie Bella rushed out to check on her hubby. Stephanie wanted to know if Daniel was conscious or not. The fans began to chant for Daniel. They put Daniel on a backboard. Daniel was lifted onto the stretcher and strapped into place. Daniel was then wheeled to the back as Raw went to break.

After the break, Stephanie kept saying she was sorry. Brie looked ready to take Stephanie’s head off. She pushed her and told her to stay away. Stephanie’s facial expression seemed to morph into that Evil McMahon Look.

Dolph Ziggler vs Fandango (w/Layla)

Fandango used to have a thing with Summer Rae but he dropped her to play kissie-face with Layla aka Tango with Tongues.

After all the dancing and such, it was time to get down to business. Collar and Elbow into a Go Behind by Fandango. Side Headlock by Dolph into a Shoulder Tackle. Shimmy by Dolph. Universal into Deep Arm Drags by Fandango. Dolph got flipped up and over the top rope. He landed hard. Fandango came out to get Dolph. He pitched Dolph back in the ring and got a two count. Elbow Drops to Dolph’s chest. European Uppercut by Fandango. Kitchen Sink-like knee and Snap Suplex by Fandango. Layla just smoldered as she watched Fanny do his thing. Jawbreaker by Dolph. Corner Splash and Corner Mount Punches by Dolph. Funk Neckbreaker by Ziggler. Dolph seemed to have an injured neck. Dolph missed the Famouser. Fandango planted Dolph with a Spinning Michinoku Driver. Fandango went up top for the Perfect 10 but Dolph came up. Fanouser by Dolph for a two. Layla got on the apron and distracted he ref. Dolph argued with Layla. Flying Leg Lariat by Fandango for a two count. Layla got tangled up in the apron. Zig Zag!

Your Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Raw Ranking: 2.75

The announcers figured Fandango was going to go off on Layla. Instead, he proclaimed his love for the former Divas/Women’s Champion. They then went for another round of Tonsil Hockey. Whatever.

“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan came out to push Legends House. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a lot of fun. He was pushing the show when Lana came out to ridicule him. She then brought out her man, Rusev. I guess they are moving away from using his first name. She and Rusev went to the ring and she tried to get Duggan to beg for mercy. That wasn’t going to happen. She then ordered the Bulgarian Brute to Crush. Rusev took the 2 by 4 and broke it over his knee. Really? Before he could do anything, Big E rushed down to fight the big Bulgarian. Rusev jumped Big E and hit a wicked Thrust Kick. Big E went to the floor. Now THIS is going to be a brutal feud. Duggan checked on Big E, who had rolled out to the floor. JBL pushed how vicious Rusev is. The announcers didn’t know how anyone was going to stop the Bulgarian.

Damien Sandow vs Cody Rhodes (w/Goldust)

Sandow rambled on about how people are afraid of what he had to say. He was cut off by the arrival of The Brotherhood. Michael Cole talked about how Cody couldn’t catch a break.

The bell rang and the two former tag partners went at it. Fireman’s Carry by Cody. It seems my grandson, Tim, shares a birthday with Doug Basham and Yogi Berra. (No, Tim, not Yogi Bear!) Jeez.

Damien smacked Cody and sent him to the corner. Rolling Sunset Flip for a one count. Cody slammed Damien into the corner. Cody with a kick off the Whip. Damien avoided the Disaster Kick. Damien took out Cody’s legs. Damien screamed at his former best friend. Cody kicked out of a pin attempt. Rear Chin Lock by Damien. Jackknife Pin by Cody then a Small Package but only two counts on each. Drop Toe Hold sent Cody into the ropes. Damien pounded away and then threw his hip into Cody. Side Russian Leg Sweep into the Elbow of Distain attempt. He missed the Elbow. Damien cracked Cody in the neck and then went off with a modified Elbow of Distain, on the apron. 2 count.

Rear Chin Lock by Damien. Cody with a Flying Clothesline and Goldustin Uppercut. Springboard Missile Dropkick and Holly Up Kick. Damien blocked CrossRhoes and threw Shoulders, in the corner. Cody with the Disaster Kick (after a rake of the eyes) to get the long-deserved win. The slump may be over.

Your Winner: Cody Rhodes
Raw Ranking: 2.25

The Wyatts came on the screen after a Daniel Bryan recap. Bray said all humans were flawed by lust, greed and such. Bray said John Cena was just like everyone else. Bray said he wanted to face John in a “Last Man Standing Match” at Payback. Get the duct tape ready. Grin. He started singing again and I tuned him out.

Roman Reigns vs Batista
Special Challenge Match

All six men were at ringside (or in the ring). Front Face Lock by roman but they ended up in the corner. Collar and Elbow saw Batista with a Knee Strike and Corner Shoulders. Roman traded places and kept Batista in the corner for Shoulders. Hammer Throw by Roman. Batista tripped Roman and pulled him to the outside. They fought on the floor and then got back in the ring. Roman missed a Corner Splash. Whip by Batista into a Corner Clothesline. Batista threw Roman into the ring post. Snap Mare into a 2 count pin. Running Boot by Boo-Tista, as the chant started. Whip by Roman but Dave with a hard kick. Roman exploded out of the corner with a huge Clothesline. HHH and randy got on the apron. So did Seth and Dean. The two threw hard shots at each other. Roman with a Corner Clothesline. Roman wanted his Rising Sun Dropkick but had to wait until Dean and Seth took out HHH and Randy. All Hell broke loose and the ref just threw out the match, I think.

Your Winner: Match Thrown Out
Raw Ranking: 2.0

Seth, Dean and Roman brutalized Evolution. Suddenly, Stephanie sent about a dozen guys down to attack The Shield. Believe it or not, The Shield eventually came back from the Mega Mugging to clear house. HHH went for a chair before that and returned to destroy Roman. Roman got free and Speared HHH. This is when Shield cleaned house. Dean and Seth used chairs like musicians playing a concert. Fandango got sent into a chair with the Worst Case Scenario (1%er). Seth with the Curb Stomp and Roman with the Superman Punch. Roman Speared Ryback into the next zip code. Triple Powerbomb to Big Hungry!


–Jay Shannon

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