Welcome to The Sanctuary, my new office. Today’s recap comes via the laptop as I sit here checking out weeks worth of painting and remodeling. During a brief break, I popped a DVD recording of this week’s Ring of Honor in the Gateway and it’s time to see what happened, this week.
Roll the opening montage!
We’re still in New Orleans for this week’s show. The Briscoes will work with Kevin Steen against Michael Bennett, Adam Cole and Matt Hardy. Let’s get to the action…
Mike Posey vs R.D. Evans (w/Veda Scott and the Sign Dude)
Evans is supposedly at 99-0 on his Ultimate Streak. The fans got going with a Streak chant. Ok, Sign Dude is Ramone. Veda had her knee braced up, yet she was still wearing killer stiletto heels. It was obvious that this was taped Prior to Wrestlemania as Steve Corino said “Anyone could be at 22-0 (Undertaker), but it takes something special to reach 100-0).
Code of Honor Handshake. Posey tried to kick Evans but ended up getting slapped, several times, in the face. Posey bailed out to the floor. Posey did some stretching. Posey snapped Evans over the ropes. Posey missed a Springboard Legdrop. Evans with the Inverted Atomic Drop. Evans charged the corner but the well was dry. Corner Boot Choke by Posey. Posey ran Rvans into the corners and then hit a Faceplant. Posey missed a Legdrop. Rolling Neckbreaker by Posey. Cravat by Posey. Drop Toe Hold by Posey. Posey miss another Lgdrop. Evans went Foley on Posey with a dive off the apron. Evans with a Battering Ram off the top rope. Running Back Bump by Evans. Evans with a Big Boot. Spear by Evans. Evans was ready to finish this one off. Throat Slice into a Small Package. 1-2-kick out. Evans put Posey on the top turnbuckle. Posey blocked the Superplex. Evans fell off the ropes. Alabama Jam Leg Drop brought Posey a 2 Plus. Evans with a School Boy for two. Hangman’s Neckbreaker by Evans. Evans went to the top but took way too long. He did still nail the Legdrop. 100-0! Yeas!
Your Winner: R.D. Evans
Honor Roll Ranking: 2.75
Evans held up the 100-0 sign and the party was off and running. Ramone threw streamers and such. Evans didn’t want to drink the alcohol so Ramone handed him something a little more “Family Friendly”. Smile. The fans were really into the “Streak” chant.
The Fish Tank (hosted by Bobby Fish and Kyle O’Reilly)
Yep, another talk show segment. Sigh. When we promoters realize that this crap is just so boring. It hasn’t been good since the Hot Rod did the almost-original. (Buddy Rogers did one a few months before Piper did…a little trivia for my buddy).
Bobby Fish was introduced. Bobby said it was a special Live edition of the Fish Tank. They both screwed up what city they were in. Kyle said that ReDRagon will face the Young Bucks for the World Tag Titles at the Hammerstein Ballroom. That is one of those places that I am determined to see a wrestling card, someday.
Michael Elgin was then brought out to chat. Elgin is now wearing a t-shirt that is such a rip-off of the “Respect the Beard” Daniel Bryan shirt. It says “Fear the Mullet”. ReDRagon started asking stupid questions. Elgin was so not in the mood for this doofuses (or would that be doofi?). Elgin snatched the microphone and asked Kyle if he helped Bobby fit into the pants he was wearing. Elgin took a shot with ReDRagon losing the tag belts. Elgin was done talking. E;gin said Nigel McGuinness said Elgin could fight with Elgin. Bobby called for a ref as Kyle taped up. That fight would start next.
The Briscoes cut a promo. They were ready to destroy Matt hardy for taking Jay’s title belt and renaming it.
Michael Elgin vs Kyle O’Reilly and Bobby Fish (ReDRagon)
2-on-1 Handicap Match
Elgin stopped the ref from checking him. He changed gears and said he wasn’t the one that was going to fight. They would face War Machine (Rowe and Hanson)…
ReDRagon vs War Machine
Oh, crap. Rowe and Hanson looked like a couple of Vikings stalking their prey. Speaking of Vikings, be sure to check out my buddy, Andy Anderson, on upcoming episodes of that great show. Back to the action…
Bobby and Kyle looked like they had seen ghosts. Rowe caught Bobby and hit a Rolling Belly to Belly. On the floor, Hanson nailed Kyle with a Spinning Powerslam. Wicked German by Rowe. Kyle held Hanson and ended up getting dropped on his back. Bobby got decked by a High Knee by Rowe. Bobby bailed out of the ring when he was whipped across the ring. Bobby jogged around the ring. Kyle with a Sleeper, but Rowe ignored it and kept pounding on Bobby. Rowe tossed Kyle off his back and tagged in Hanson. Kyle dropped the suspenders and went fro a Flying Front Face Lock. Hanson totally blew off the move. Tag to Bobby. Cartwheel and Clotheslines to both members of ReDRagon.
Tag to Rowe. Both members of ReDRagon bailed out of the ring, saying we are done with this. Michael Elgin chased them back to the ring. Bobby and Kyle took off through the crowd as the ref reached 20.
Your Winners (by Count Out): War Machine
Honor Roll Ranking: 2.0
Michael Bennett, Adam Cole and Maria discussed their upcoming opponents.
Highlights of Ladder Wars aired. Adam Cole defeated Jay Briscoe to unify the two versions of he World Title. Adam gave Jay’s belt to Matt Hardy, who renamed it the Iconic Title. Whatever.
Michael Bennett, Adam Cole and Matt Hardy vs Jay Briscoe, Mark Briscoe and Kevin Steen
Six Man Tag Team Match
Matt Hardy now has his face plastered on Jay Briscoe’s former World title belt. That is the stupidest thing that I’ve seen since his brother, Jeff, debuted the Power Rangers title belt in TNA. Jay had Dead Eyes for Matt Hardy as he entered the arena.
The Briscoes and Steen jumped their opponents, before the bell. The action spilled out to the floor. Jay with a hard Heeadbutt to Hardy. Mark with a Kangaroo Drop (Elbow Drop while using a blow up kangaroo…I can’t make this stuff up). Bennett’s crotch hit the ring post. Jay gnawed away on Hardy. Steen took Cole into the ring. Hardy was sent into the barricade. Universal into a Steen Back Elbow. Steen ran Cole into the corner and threw massive Shoulder Thrusts.
Knife Edge Chop by Steen. Steen rocked the champ with a massive Headbutt. Jawbreaker by Cole. Steen fought out of the enemy corner. Cole with an Enziguir. Bennett took the tag and threw hard fists with Steen. Hardy tagged in and choked Steen over the middle ropes. Running Leg Lariat and Side Effect by Hardy.
Mark Briscoe came in and unloaded with Redneck Kung Fu. Sweet! Float Over by Mark into a Rolling Belly to Belly. Mark went to the top but Bennett pushed him off. It broke down into chaos so RoH went to break.
We are back and Bennett and Mark were going hot and heavy. Dropkick by Bennett. Tag to Cole. He stomped away on Mark. Mark with wild Chops. Cole with the Attitude Neckbreaker for two. Tag to Hardy. Legdrop by Hardy to get a 2. Bennett took a tag. Whip by Bennett into a Clothesline. Cole tagged back in and dropped on Mark. Gold stars to the cameraman for the best shot of Maria’s backside…ever! Rolling Senton by Mark but he was exhausted. Jay took the tag and went off on Bennett with Clotheslines. Monster Back Body Drop. Jay then took out Cole and Hardy. Jay with psycho punches on Hardy. Steen tagged in and Cannonballed Bennett. Falcon Arrow by Jay Briscoe. 2 count.
Jay called for the Doomsday Device. He tagged Mark. Cole went after Mark. Double Doomsday! (thanks to Steen’s help. Twist of Fate to Steen. Matt pulled Jay to the outside. They threw bombs up the ramp. They disappeared up into the backstage area. Mark went wild on Bennett with chops. Superkick by Cole to Mark. Florida Keys Back Suplex by Adam Cole.
Your Winners: Adam Cole, Michael Bennett and Matt Hardy
Honor Roll Ranking: 3.25
Steen got back in the ring nad went after Bennett. Cole used a Superkick to stop Steen. Cole got the title belt but Mark held Cole. Matt got his belt and accidentally clocked Bennett. Cole missed a title shot and ate a Pop Up Powerbomb! Kill Steen Kill! Powerbomb on the apron. Steen then destroyed the kangaroo. Steen Powerbombed Cole on the announce table, twice. The table didn’t break. Steen went and got the World title belt.
I want to send out a special Happy Mother’s Day to my own mom, Doris, and all the moms in wrestling…Marti Funk, Stephanie and Linda McMahon, Madison Rayne, Vickie Guerrero, etc… Mothers always have been and always will be the cornerstone of our society.
Turning off the neon cactus over my desk and closing down the Sanctuary for another day.