WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE RAW

Posted April 1st, 2014 by jshannon

The countdown is on for Wrestlemania. The main players all got a chance to shine. Plus, a certified Hall of Fame Legend returned for the night (and this time, it wasn’t Hulk Hogan…but close).

The gong sounded and the lights went out. The Undertaker was in the house! The crowd popped into the ozone when they saw the “Dead Man”. Tonight’s show came from Washington, DC. Taker slowly made his way down to the ring. Taker rose his arms and the lights came back up. Raw looked back at the mind games played by Taker, last week. Brock Lesnar first found an empty casket but then, almost magically, Take rose from the coffin and beat the stuffing out of Brock. A La Bandera Clothesline sent Brock sailing over the coffin.

The fans chanted for Taker as he stared at the “Wrestlemania XXX” sign. Taker talked about the 21 men who stepped up and then fell. Undertaker said he would go further than anyone else to keep “The Streak” alive. Taker said Brock should be worried about what to do when he reaches “The Deep End”. Taker got all cryptic with his water analogy. Taker explained to Brock that no one has returned to shore when facing him. Taker said some are certain that The Streak will be broken. Taker said many more believed in the three things that can’t be broken: Death, Taxes and The Streak. Taker started to warn Brock that he was going to “Rest In Peace” but he was cut off by the arrival of Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman.

Paul said he wasn’t there to disrespect Taker. He knew “his client” did want to disrespect Taker. Paul said Brock understood that Taker felt he could not lose but Brock was ready to deliver the F5 to end it all. Paul was certain that Brock was going to destroy The Streak. Paul said it was a Spoiler for Sunday. They started to leave but stopped short. Brock teased going into the ring, several times. They took their time but eventually came down to the ring. Paul used a chair to distract Taker. That allowed Brock to hit the ring and catch Taker with a huge Clothesline. He then laid out the Iconic One with an F5!

The WWE is rolling towards New Orleans, and so am I. Got “Lil’ Blue” all gassed up, my collection of Kid Rock, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Toby Keith CDs to get me through those Dead Zone areas where there just aren’t any radio stations to speak of. I’ll be rolling into town on Friday morning and heading straight to the Mid-South Reunion Show. I’ll be posting a review of all the goings on there and at Wrestlecon. (and if time permits, I just might find my way to the Ring of Honor show on Friday night).

Big E vs Alberto Del Rio
Non-Title Match

The Finish:

Del Rio put Big E in the Cross Armbreaker, several times, including one over the ropes. Del Rio flew off the Top Rope but got caught in a Backbreaker. Big E Hit Clotheslines with his good arm. Belly to Belly by Big E. He went for the Big Splash but Del Rio got the knees up. Lift Drop by Big E. He couldn’t fully cover Del Rio, due to the bad arm. Back Stabber by Del Rio. 2 count. Del Rio wasted a lot of time. Back Body Drop into the Big Splash by E. He dropped the straps and picked up Del Rio. Flying Arm Bar into the Cross Armbreaker. Big E lifted Del Rio but Del Rip took him back down. Big E with a Dead Lift Powerbomb for a 2. Del Rio grabbed the bottom rope. Big E put Del Rio on the top rope. Del Rio pushed Big E part way down and then Stomped him the rest of the way to the canvas. Ouch! Superkick to the jaw. 1-2-3.

Your Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Raw Ranking: 3.0 our of a possible 5

The fans got to vote which member of The Shield would battle Kane, later on. More on that, in a bit.

Raw looked at the weird attack on John Cena that found John wearing the sheep mask, after a blackout attack. That led to the Wyatts in the darkness. Bray with a typical bizarre diatribe. Bray talked about being born to lead. Bray said “She” said he would change the world. Bray said Cena would be left with nothing after him. Bray began to sing “He’s Got the Whole World”. Creepy.

The announcers talked about the wildness on Total Divas. With all that I’ve had gong on, I haven’t had a chance to check it out. Summer Rae slapped the taste out of Natalya’s mouth.

Summer Rae vs Natalya

Vickie Guerrero was at ringside. She looked very pretty.

The Finish:

Nattie walked up Summer’s back and hit a Dropkick. Nattie with a pair of hard Suplexes. Slap by Summer Rae. Discus Clothesline and Slap by Nattie. Nattie wanted the Sharpshooter but Summer kicked out. Summer with a weak0looking kick to Natalya’s head. 1-2-3. Really? That was a kick equivalent of a “Popcorn Punch”. Jeez.

Your Winner: Summer Rae
Raw Ranking: .5

Stephanie and HHH came out to the ring to chat. Stephanie said they were there to bid a fond farewell to the “Yes Movement!”. HHH said the fans really didn’t have loyalty. They just wanted them to be part of something that they didn’t have to do any work with. They made fun of how the Fandango craze has faded to nothingness. HHH said Fandango was a solid performer. Stephanie asked if anyone wanted to see Daniel Bryan. She and Hunter mocked the fans for their sheep-like mentality. HHH said the “Yes Movement” was a fallacy. HHH talked about how well he married. HHH said his power came from dominance, in the ring, not in family relations. HHH sent it to a video package of all the men that were seen as unique, which have since faded from (WWE) Glory. Stephanie was providing the voice over for this video package. It showed all the men being destroyed by Hunter. She finished by calling Daniel Bryan a “Sacrificial Lamb”.

Back to live action and Stephanie cooed about her hubby’s abilities. HHH went into “The Game” mode and said he was that man more than ever. HHH said he was going to beat Daniel Bryan and then move forward to take the WWE World Title.

They started to leave but were stopped by Batista’s arrival. The hometown crowd still didn’t cheer Boo-Tista. Batista said he loved the cute thing that they were doing. Batista noticed he wasn’t in the video package because HHH hasn’t ever beaten him. HHH joked about Dave losing his glasses, last week, when Stephanie slapped him. Batista said HHH would likely not even make it to the WWE World title match. He cracked wise about Stephanie being the brawn of The Authority.

Randy Orton came out to watch Batista get Slapped silly. Randy said he wanted to beat respect into “Big Dave”. Randy accepted that a Triple Threat Match was what was Best for Business. Randy said he would be honored to battle HHH for the titles but he wanted to see HHH reconsider this decision. HHH accused Randy of *ss-Kissing to try and get out of the match. HHH said Randy would have to become “The Viper” to survive. HHH wasn’t sure if he could beat “The Viper”. HHH converted the Batista vs Orton match into a No-DQ battle. Randy wasn’t happy but Batista was all smiles.

Monday was the 29th anniversary of the original Wrestlemania. Roddy Piper would be in the house to hold a special Piper’s Pit.

Los Matadores and the Usos vs The Real Americans and Rybaxle
8-Man Tag Team Match

The Finish:

Samoan Drop to Curtis Axel by one of the Usos. Rikishi Run. 2 count but Ryback made the save. Thrust Kick to Ryback. Axel with a Rollup but Kick Out. Axel was taken out with a Thrust Kick. Jack Swagger, who had blind Tagged in hit a Big Boot. Los Matadores denied the Cesaro Swing (huge boo). Jack went for the Patriot Lock but Uso with a Spin Kick. Jack caught Diego in the Patriot Lock but Fernando did the Twin Magic thing and rolled up Swagger.

The Winners: The Usos and Los Matadores
Raw Ranking: 2.5

There is another Ultimate Warrior DVD coming out. This is Warrior telling “His Story”. Should be interesting to compare it to the old Self-Destruction DVD (That one MIGHT be on the WWE Network…I need to check).

Fandango and Damien Sandow vs The Brotherhood (Goldust and Cody Rhodes)

Hammerlock by Cody but Damien took him to the corner. Brutal shots but Cody got a boot up. Cody went up top but Damien slid out of the ring. Tag to Fandango. Dang, I like those bright pink and black tights. Fandango with a tag to Damien. Headbutt by Sandow. Stomps by Sandow. Cody went to the floor and Damien went after him. Back in the ring, Fandango took a tag. Snap Suplex by Fandango. Tag to Damien. Hard kick and Snap Mare by Damien. Kneedrop for a two. Coy punched away but fell to a Drop Toe Hold Damien wanted the Sharpshooter but couldn’t get it.

Tag to Goldust. Goldustin Uppercut into a Spinebuster. Fandango flew and took a shot in a very sensitive spot. Crossboy by Goldust on both guys. Dropkick by Cody. Final Cut by Goldust to Damien.

Your Winners: The Brotherhood
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Raw looked at the repeated attacks on The Shield, in recent weeks. This came about when The Shield wouldn’t attack Jerry Lawler. Kane has enlisted the New Age Outlaws to aid him. The Shield cut a quick promo. Seth said he almost felt sorry for Kane, almost. Dean said Kane and the Outlaws disrespected them. Roman put the final stamp on it by saying The Shield was not to be messed with.

Bray Wyatt lit the hurricane lamp and told everyone “We’re Here!”

Bray Wyatt vs R-Truth

Luke Harper and Erick Rowan were at ringside, as usual. Bray with a hard Clotheslien. Xavier Woods also watched the carnage. Headbutt by Bray. Bray nailed an Uppercut and pushed Truth’s face into the top rope. Punches. Truth with the Cartwheel and Ax Kick. Flying Forearm. Steam Roller by Bray. Dropping Headbutts by Bray. Headbutt, again, by Bray. He choked Truth over the middle rope.

Bray dropped his weight on Truth’s lower back and pulled on the haw. Truth tried to fight back but Bray piched him to the outside. Truth slid in and punched away. Bray with a hard kick and clubbing blows to the back of the head. The ref had to pull him off. Spinning Gutbuster by Bray. Uppercut by Bray and a series of Headbutts. Corner Splash by Bray. He did the Upside Down thing. Sister Abigail!

Your Winner: Bray Wyatt
Raw Ranking: 1.5

Xavier Woods was taken out, after the match. The Wyatts struck their pose as the lights dimmed. Suddenly another person walked up in a sheep mask and black jumpsuit. Everyone looked surprised to see this person. He took off the mask and it was…John Cen.a. Attitude Adjustment to Roan and almost to Bray. The Wyatts headed for higher gound.

Raw showed how Vickie Guerrero put A.J. Lee against every single Diva on the roster at Wrestlemania. I still wonder what happened to JoJo. I hope she is ok.

A.J. Lee vs Naomi
LumberJILL Match

The LumberJills kept throwing Lee back in the ring. The girls took their time going after Naomi. She was ticked off. Lee threw her back in and then the Jills attacked. Kicks by Naomi. Back Elbow by Naomi into a Slide. Spin Kick by Lee for two. Vickie Guerrero watched the chaos. Lee stomped away on Naomi. Lee went for the Black Widow but didn’t quite have it totally locked in. Naomi did go down to one knee. She then broke the move. Lee with a Knee Strike and Funk Neckbreaker for two. Jumping Enziguri by Naomi. Dropkick by Naomi into a Bubba Bomb. 2 count. Split Legged Moonsault abandoned. Tamina tried to protect Lee but failed. Naomi and Lee got back in the ring and Naomi connected with the Rear View.

Your Winner: Naomi
Raw Ranking: 1.0

Renee Young interviewed John Cena. The fans were somewhat hostile towards him. Cena said it was desperate times. Cena said he could dangerous things when forced to fight. Cena promised to see rage and hell and a Monster. Cena admitted that he was afraid but not afraid to face the fear. Cena said his career would not end at the hands of Bray Wyatt.

Raw did a The Story so Far… kind of look back at the night’s events.

Kane vs ?

Jerry Lawler brought up the results. Roman Reigns got the landslide victory with 80% of the vote!

Kane vs Roman Reigns

Kane took Roman to the corner but the big Samoan blasted him. Kane with a Big Boot. Kane with hard punches. Kane clubbed the big man and nailed a Back Elbow. 2 count. Whip by Kane into a Corner Clothesline. Sidewalk Slam by the Big Corporate Monster. Goozle but Roman powered out. Kick and punches by Roman. Kane reversed a Whip. Flying Clothesline and Corner Clothesline by Roman. Floor to Ring Dropkick by Roman. That move so needs a name. Roman prepped for the Superman Punch but was distracted by the arrival of Billy Gunn and Road Dogg. Dean and Seth rushed down to counter them. Kane went for some kind of Pearl Harbor but Roman with the Superman Punch. Seth and Dean got in the ring and it was a Triple Team.

Your Winner (by Disqualification): Kane
Raw Ranking: 2..0

The New Age Outlaws protected Kane from going into the Sword of Justice Triple Powerbomb.

Piper’s Pit:

Piper started talking about Wrestlemania and Andre the Giant. He mentioned that he was not the one who got pinned at Wrestlemania I. As Piper discussed Andre and the Battle Royal, he was interrupted by Miz. Piper was about to give is choice as the favorite when Miz interrupted him. Miz felt he is the favorite. They got into a “Really” war. Miz was cut off by the arrival of Sheamus. He was followed out by Titus O’Neil. Dolph Ziggler also crashed the party. Piper poked Miz in the eyes which kick started a good fight. Several others rushed the ring. They were all participants in the Battle Royal. Rey Mysterio came late but he still got him some. This was wild and crazy. Rey with a Hurancanrana and 619 on Sin Cara. Sheamus started unleashing Brogue Kicks until Big Show came out form the back. Everyone jumped Big Show but the Giant unleaded on everyone in sight. Double Chokeslam to Zack Ryder and Dolph Ziggler. Show then pitched Rey to the outside after Rey hit a 619 to the tummy of the ginormous one. Roddy held Big Show’s arm high.

Randy Orton vs Batista
No Disqualification Match

Raw looked back at how Batista got slapped silly by Stephanie, last week.

The Authority came out to watch the match. Stephanie and Hunter joined the announce team. The bell rang and Randy kicked The Animal and threw him into the post. Randy rammed Batista’s face into the ring aprn. Batista came back and hit a Clothesline. Batista rammed Randy into the barrier and he got tangled up in the wires. Randy stomped away on Batista when they got back in the ring. They went back to the floor. Whip by Randy.

La Bandera Clothesline sent Batista into the Bullpen. Batista with a chair shot to Randy’s ribs and back. Batista hit the ring post, which gave Randy a momentary advantage. Back Drop to the barrier, by Randy. Randy then whacked Batista’s back, big time, with a chair. Batista and Randy fought, back in the ring. La Bandera sent Randy to the floor. The fans were screaming “Boring”! HHH cheerlead both men. Batista with a Spinebuster to the apron. Randy with a wicked series of Kendo Stick shots. Batista sent Randy into the ring steps.

Back in the ring, Batista nailed a Spinebuster. Animal did his Ultimate Warrior imitation and then did the Thumbs Down. Randy escaped the Batista Bomb and caught Dave with the Twisted Sister Backbrekaer. Randy called for the Rope Assisted DDT.

Out of nowhere, Daniel Bryan jumped the barrier and attacked HHH. Randy Orton tried to pull him off but Daniel would not be denied. Randy went back to help. He threw Daniel into the ring steps. Randy told Stephanie to check on HHH. Randy pitched Daniel into the ring. Batista Speared Randy. Dragon’s Fang Knee to Batista, by Daniel. Suicide Dive, by Daniel, to take out HHH. The two fought around ringside. Daniel got the kendo stick and beat HHH like a Red-Headed Stepchild. Dropkick to Randy, on the apron, by the American Dragon.

Your Winner: Match Thrown Out
Raw Ranking: 2.5

The crowd got into a massive “Yes!” chant.

Well, my friends, it’s time to call it a night. I hope to see you down in New Orleans. I’m there to celebrate 10 years with this wonderful site and 16 years writing about he sport that I so admire and respect. For any of you coming in to New Orleans, please be safe on the roads or in the air. And remember 2 things…

Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez
(Let the Good Times Roll)
And, of course…

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com
Twitter.com/jayshannonnv

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