WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE RAW

Posted March 25th, 2014 by jshannon

Another new match was added to Wrestlemania and another “Character” went into the Hall of Fame (I’ll explain that 2nd one in a bit).

The show opened with a look back at HHH’s heinous attack on Daniel Bryan, at the end of last week’s Raw.

Going live, Stephanie McMahon strolled out from the back. The crowd was seriously hostile to the “Billion Dollar Princess”. Stephanie said Daniel Bryan wouldn’t be there, tonight. Stephanie said a lot of people thought the attack went too far and she agreed. She explained that it was necessary to keep order and control. She accidentally kick-started a “Yes!” chant by mentioning the Yes Movement. Stephanie said the Fans needed to be led by people with intelligence. Stephanie said she was the only person who could shoulder the burden of leading the fans. She then bragged about her hubby, HHH.

She was cut off by the arrival of Randy Orton. He wasn’t happy that Stephanie was bragging that HHH would become the new WWE World Champion. Randy said he wasn’t out to argue or to disrespect the Authority. Randy said he would not be held responsible for what he was going to do to HHH, if/when HHH beats Daniel Bryan. Stephanie stopped to tell the fans to quit chanting for “Daniel Bryan”. Randy said he would beat HHH and Batista to pulps. Randy said HHH should be satisfied with beating Daniel Bryan and then just pass on the WWE World title match. “Boring!” broke out, which brought out…

Batista. The fans made it clear that his new nickname is definitely “Boo-Tista”. Batista said this was driving him crazy. Batista said everyone was missing the main point, he was going to be the next WWE World Champion. Nothing was going to stop him. “Deal with it”. He was dealing with a defective microphone. Batista said he respects Hunter but HHH has never beaten him. Batista said no one would beat him at Wrestlemania. Batista said it was disgusting how Randy Orton was sucking up to HHH and Stephanie. Batista made some nasty comments about Stephanie’s past. She slapped the glasses off his face. Randy laughed his butt off, which wasn’t a wise move. Spear! Batista picked up both belts and held them high. He then pitched them at Randy and left.

Alberto Del Rio vs Christian vs Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus
Fatal Four Way to determine the Number One Contender to the Intercontinental Title

The bell rang and it all broke loose. Del Rio went after Dolph and Sheamus took the fight (on the floor) to Christian. This is a No DQ match. Slingshot Battering Ram by Sheamus to Del Rio. Dolph with a kick to Sheamus and Sheamus dropped him and hit a Kneedrop. 2 count. Christian and Del Rio rested on the floor. Whip by Sheamus but Dolph with a Dropkick. Christian and Del Rio hit the ring and attacked. Christian took out Sheamus and then flew into a catch by Sheamus. Fallway Slam. Dolph used a Dropkick to send Del Rio t the floor. Sheamus wanted the 10 Beats but had to stop due to Del Rio. Del Rio missed the Enziguri. Dolph with a Dropkick to Del Rio. Big E watched the match, silently. All 4 men ended up on the floor and bodies were all over the place. Raw went to break.

Dolph went wild on Del Rio but he reversed a Whip. Dolph with a rush and Dolph with a Lift Drop. Sheamus tripped Del Rio and pulled him to the outside. Rolling Senton, on the floor, by Sheamus. Sheamus then fought with Christian. Sheamus sent Christians into the post. Top rope Crossbody by Christian but Dolph rolled through. Two count. Christian took Dolph down and got a two count. Sheamus with the Double Sledges and Running Shoulder and Mr. Wrestling II Knee. Irish Curse Backbreaker to Del Rio. Del Rio went to the apron. 10 Beats to Del Rio’s chest. Del Rio fell to the floor.

Sheamus went up top but Dolph nailed a Flying X-Factor from the top rope. 1-2-no. Dolph with a Neckbreaker to Christian and Show Off DDT to Del Rio. Christian snapped Dolph on the top rope. Christian blocked the Famouser and hit a Powerbomb. Del Rio with a Superkick to Christian’s head. Sheamus put Del Rio in the Cloverleaf. Del Rio got to the ropes. Sheamus got ready for the Brogue Kick but who would he nail? Nobody. Del Rio kicked him and locked in the Cross Armbreaker. Sheamus fought to his feet but Dolph planted the duo with a modified Zig Zag. Christian with the KillSwitch to Del Rio.

Your Winner: Christian
Raw Ranking: 3.5

The Wyatts came on the Tron and Bray started singing. Bray rambled on about John Cena and all his lies and such. Bray wondered if John had really looked at him (Bray). Bray said you can’t harm someone who just can’t feel. Bray said his family was coming to find John Cena.

They ran a promo for the new WWE Scooby Doo movie. I may pick that up before my cross-country trip to New Orleans. Already have a nice group of movies and wrestling stuff to watch on my (borrowed) laptop.

They Mystery Machine drove into the arena to bring Sin Cara to fight. Scooby Doo was with Sin Cara. Michael Cole started to sing the Scooby theme, badly.

Sin Cara (w/Scooby Doo) vs Damien Sandow

Damien rushed Sin to the corner. Damien stomped the mid-section. Sin got flipped ot the apron. Springboard Crossbody and Tilt-a-Whirl Hurancanrana. Backspting Elbow by Sin Cara. 2 count. Jumping Enziguri by Sin Cara. Sin went to the top for a Swanton.

Your Winner: Sin Cara
Raw Ranking: 1.5

Michael Cole looked at the situation of Kane threatening Jerry Lawler with the Shield. After that, Kane got his revenge on The Shield for their disrespect, on Smackdown. Kane came out and attacked Roman Reigns. He brought out the New Age Outlaws to help destroy Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns.

Los Matadores vs Ryback and Curtis Axel

Rybaxle are out of the Battle Royal so they can go after the tag belts at Wrestlemania.

Axel started against Diego, I think. Hurancanrana by Diego. Knife Ede Cop to Axel’s chest. Running Dropkick by Axel. The crowd came alive as The Shield came through the crowd. The stayed on the edge and watched. Roll Up by Diego.

Your Winners: Los Matadores
Raw Ranking: .5

The Shield surrounded Ryback nad Axel. Axel got pulled to the outside. Dean and Seth mugged Ryback. Spear to Ryback by Roman! Sword of Justice Triple Powerbomb to Ryback! Yeah!

Michael Cole brought out Triple H for a little chat. The Game was in his business suit for this interview. They sat on Director’s Chairs. Cole wanted to have their weekly chat, tonight. Cole sent it to the replay of HHH annihilating Daniel Bryan, who was handcuffed. The crowd booed Hunter, big time. Cole wanted to know how HHH could justify his actions. HHH wasn’t sure which one of himself should answer, the executive or the competitor? HHH began discussing being helpless. He said Daniel Bryan hijacked Raw with his Occupy WWE and Yes Movements. HHH said Daniel risked the health of the fans in a foiled coup. HHH said what Daniel did was worse than his attack. HHH said he stepped out of the COO role to bring Daniel Bryan “The Game”. HHH said Daniel and the fans forced his hand.

HHH complained that the fans have changed, not him. HHH said the fans were filled with apathy, soft, pathetic little people with no power or desire. HHH mocked the crying fans. HHH said he couldn’t deal with the changing world so he was ready to create the “Reality Era”. HHH said he was going to end Daniel’s run at the top. He was also going to squash the “Yes Movement!” HHH was then certain that he would be able to stop him. HHH said he had the power to make things happen. HHH promised to walk out of Wrestlemania as the new WWE World Champion.

Fandango vs Cody Rhodes

Summer Rae and Goldust were at ringside. Kind of felt bad for Summer on the most recent Total Divas. She was really getting ridiculed by the other women. Last week, Goldust defeated Fandango in a not-so-great match.

Hammer lock by Cody but Fandango with a Back Elbow. Cody with a Roling Pin for 2. Twisting Float Over by Cody but Fandango stomped free. Springboard Legdrop by Fandango. 2 count. Snap Suplex by Fandango. Kneelift and strikes by Fandango. Cody came back with shots but got thrown onto the apron. Springboard Missile Dropkick by Cody. 2 count. Fandango and Cody collided, near the corner. Goldust mocked Summer Rae and then danced for her. She did too and ended up twisting her ankle. Fandango was distracted and Cody nailed the Disaster Kick.

Your Winner: Cody Rhodes
Raw Ranking: 2.0

They ran a sneak peak of Sabotage, with Arnold. Typical-looking “Blow Crap Up CSI/NCIS kinda drama”. I’ll pass. Arnold’s best movie, as far as I am concerned, was “The Running Man”. It had the legendary Professor Toru Tanaka as “Sub-Zero” and Jesse Ventura as “Captain Freedom”. Recently picked it up on Blu-Ray. My wife and kids hate to hear that movie come on because I can quote darn near every line by heart. Smile. Guess it’s one of the choices going in my DVD case for the New Orleans trip.

Hulk Hogan came out to talk with the fans. He then brought out Arnold Schwarzenegger and Joe Manganiello after a quick talk about the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Arnold discussed putting Bruno into the Hall of Fame. He praised Hulk for being in such good shape. Joe and Arnold were talking about being interested in being part of the Battle Royal (oh, please…keep the darn actors in Hollywood). Miz interrupted the trio in the ring and went off on them. Joe got up in Miz’s face and said he would handle this. Miz seemed to back down but then went for a shot on Joe. Joe punched him in the ribs, Arnold with a pathetic Back Fist and Hogan then threw Miz over the top rope.

Again, please tell me Arnold was joking about being in the Battle Royal. They’ve already screwed up the booking by putting small guys like Miz, Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara, etc… in the Battle Royal. Putting Arnold and Joe in the thing would totally negate it having any meaning.

Updated Battle Royal Competitors:

Big Show, Titus O’Neil, Dolph Ziggler, Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Mark Henry, Jindar Mahal, Drew McIntyre, R-Truth, Heath Slater, Christian, Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, Big E, Damien Sandow, Goldust, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, Miz, Darren Young, Justin Gabriel, and Santino Marella, Still six more spots to go. I have to think they may throw Alexander Rusev and (maybe) Bo Dallas in the mix along with Kevin Nash (who will be in New Orleans) and a few others. As long as it’s not Hornswoggle or El Torito.

Titus O’Neil vs Big Show

Show with monster Open Hand Slaps. Chop Block by Titus after a Big Boot. Titus stomped away on Show. Hogan-like Legdrop by Titus. 2 count. Titus punched and clubbed away. Corner Splashes by Titus. Show reversed a Whip but missed a Corner Splash. Shoulder Tackle by Titus. 2 count. Nice to see this young man getting such a push. Titus blasted Show’s back and punched away. Titus almost knocked Show out of the ring. Big Show Spear. He screamed that he had enough of this. Knockout Punch!

Your Winner: The Big Show
Raw Ranking: 1.75

HHH and Stephanie chatted in the office. The Shield came in to talk to The Authority. Seth and dean wanted to know where they stood with The Authority. HHH said The Shield needed to deal with their own issues with Kane and the New Age Outlaws. Stephanie made a match of The Shield vs the Real Americans.

Elsewhere, John Cena was looking in the mirror and trying to find his own reality. He looked over his shoulder to see if someone was about to jump him. Cena will face Luke Harper, shortly.

Raw looked back at how John Cena beat Harper on last week’s Smackdown.

John Cena vs Luke Harper

I like the new “You Can’t Stop Me” shirt. Kind of my mindset on life. Smile.

The crowd were cheering for Luke, primarily. I like this kid. As I’ve mentioned, he had a Bruiser Brody/Mick Foley feel to him. Shot to the bridge of Cena’s nose. Headbutt and body shot by Harper. Whip by Harper. Uppercut by Luke for a 1 count. Cena started to punch back but Like with a Backbreaker for 2. Double Thrust to Cena’s throat. “Let’s Go Harper” rang out. Cena threw Haper into the corner and punched away. Corner Splash by Cena but Harper dropped him. Pump Handle Back Suplex by Harper. Cena went to the outside. Luke came out and punched away on Cena. “You Can’t Wrestle” broke out but who was it for? Luke with a high Elbow to Cena, as he got back in the ring. Time for a break.

Luke with a Side Headlock that John powered out of. Cena went for the Vintage Combo but Luke with an Inverted Atomic Drop and Big Boot. European Uppercuts by Harper. Cena with German Suplex. Harper escaped the Attitude Adjustment and hit a Thrust Kick from Hell. Cena with the Protobomb after dodging the Discus Clothesline. Cena grinned but got punched in the face. Scoop Driver by Harper for a two.

Cena converted a Powerbomb into his own Hurancanrana. Luke kicked out of the SRG and sent Cena to the floor. Suicide Dive by Luke. Luke threw Cena back in the ring and turned to get advice from Bray Wyatt. STF by Cena but Luke raked the eyes. DDT by Luke. 1-2-not yet. Harper punched John in the chest and sat him on the top turnbuckle. Luke punched Cena off the ropes. Luke wanted the Double Underhook Superplex but John powered out. John with straight rights that sent Luke tumbling. Flying Guillotine Legdrop by Cena. Luke kicked out at two. Cena with the Protobomb and Five Knuckle Shuffle. Luke escaped the AA and hit a wild Front Drop Suplex. 2 count. Cena with a massive Clothesline that amazed everyone. JBL was in shock. Cena shook out his sore arm after that one. The lights went out as Cena went for the AA. There was all kinds of battle sounds. When the lights came up, Cena was trapped in the ropes and wearing the Sheep Mask.

Your Winner (by Disqualification: John Cena
Raw Ranking; 3.5

Naomi vs A.J> Lee
Divas Title Match

If you didn’t see Total Divas, Cameron went really sleaze ball by showing off some pictures of a young Eva Marie that made her miserable. It was a crappy thing to do and there was no excuse for it. Lost all respect for her after that.

A.J. mocked Naomi’s eye injury. Naomi with a Dropkick. Naomi with a huge kick. Lee dodged the Rear View. A.J. said she didn’t need this. Lee started to walk off as the ref counted. The ref reached 10.

Your Winner (by countout): Naomi
Raw Ranking: .25

Vickie Guerrero came out and chided Lee for making negative comments about her on Smackdown. Vickie announced that she had made a title match against the “Real B*tch”. A.J. will compete in the Vickei Guerrero Divas Invitational. She will face: Naomi, Cameron, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Natalya, Eva Marie, Emma, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Summer Rae, Layla, Rosa Mendes and…Tamina! Tamina turned and smiled. So looking forward to meet her dad in a couple weeks. Lee had a serious meltdown at the news.

Raw looked at Undertaker’s confrontation with Paul Heyman at last week’s Main Event. Taker took Paul to his knees. He told Paul to take a message to Brock Lesnar. Taker said he was going to “Slay the Beast!”

Nest up…the next inductee into the Hall of Fame.

There had been rumors and spoilers flying that Scott Hall was going into the Hall of Fame. Well, sort of… It was his alter-ego, Razor Ramon. They ran a great video piece about “The Bad Guy”. I absolutely loved that character. I grew up around guys like Razor back in the old neighborhood.

Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose (w/Roman Reigns) vs Cesaro and Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter)
Special Challenge Match

Raw went back to last Friday when the Outlaws and Kane took out The Shield. After the break, the party got started.

The battle broke out on the floor. The four men slugged away. Dean tore into Cesaro and Seth took off after Jack. Dean with a Knife Edge Chop. Dean threw Cesaro into the ring. Dean with hard punches as the bell officially rang. Dean and Cesaro kept trading blows. Dean went wild with punches and kicks. Dean ran Cesaro’s face on the rope. Hart Attack by The Shield. 2 count. Seth had tagged in. Cesaro blasted Seth’s ribs. He tagged to Jack. Seth punched both men. Snap Suplexes ala Eddie Guerrero. The third part of the Three Amigos was a Double Team. It was Jack Swagger’s birthday and he got his birthday Beatings for the next for years. Dean with a hesitation Dropkick. Tag to Seth. He also nailed a Hesitation Dropkick for a two count. Knife Edge Chops by Seth. Dean with the tag. Dean with a Short Arm Clothesline for two. Indian Death Lock Variation by Dean. Dean had to break for pulling the hair. Gut Wrench Slam by Swagger.

European Uppercuts at warp speed by Cesaro, after the tag. “We the People” chant rose like an Ocean Swell. Jack with the tag and a Belly to Belly. Swagger Bomb into the Leap Frog Stomp. 2 count. Rear Chin Lock by Cesaro. Dean got to his feet and broke free. Hammer Throw to send Dean to the corner. Tag to Jack. Stomps to the chest. Dean countered the Swagger Bomb with the Double Boots. Morningstar Elbow by Dean. Tag to Cesaro. He dropped Seth with a Running Boot. Back Body Drop by Dean but Cesaro turned it into the Cesaro Swing. Dang, that makes me so dizzy. The crowd exploded. Seth made the save. The ref tried to stop the craziness. Dean was sent fling off the apron. The Real Americans with a Swing to send Dean into the barrier. Time for another break.

Dean kicked free and Cesaro tagged in. Front Face Lock by Dean. Dean fought to his feet as a “Let’s Go Shield” chant broke out. Backslide by Ambrose for two. Cesaro with a hard kick and slap. Dean began to “Hulk Up”. Dean exploded on Cesaso but Cesaro with a huge boot. Dean bounced off the ropes and nearly took Cesaro’s head off with a monster Clothesline.

Tag on both sides. Seth went ballistic on Jack. Corner Forearm and Corner Faceplant for 2. Cesaro rushed in and found himself on the floor. Seth with a La Bandera Clothesline, a Suicide Dive and a Flip Dive in less than 30 seconds. Damn. A “Holy Sh*t” chant went loud and proud. Dean came in and went wild on Cesaro. Cesaro threw Dean out with an Exploder Suplex. Jack caught the with the Patriot Lock but Seth reached the ropes. Seth was pulled off the ropes but landed on his feet. Peace of Mind by Seth. 1-2-3.

Your Winners: Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose
Raw Ranking: 3.75

After the match, it broke down into total chaos. Superman Punch, from Roman, to Cesaro. He then Speared Cesaro on the floor. The Shield took apart the announce table and looked for their chosen victim. It was Cesaro. Sword of Justice put Cesaro through the table. Awesome reaction for The Shield.

Kane said he and the New Age Outlaws would battle The Shield. Kane, Road Dogg and Billy Gunn were all in fancy suits. That is going to be an awesome war.

Brock Lesnar was on his way to the ring (with Paul Heyman).

Brock and Heyman came out to talk. Brock has a new shirt that reads “Eat, Sleep Break the Streak” (not going to happen). I’ll have my predictions ready before I head to the Big Easy.

Paul began to discuss Undertaker and his Streak. Paul said it was an “Undefeated Streak”. Paul said Brock’s win would not diminish Undertaker’s incredible feat. Paul talked about all the men who couldn’t go 21-0. Paul grumbled about Undertaker’s attacks but Brock grabbed the stick…

“Enough Paul!” Brock said he was there to fight. He called out Undertaker to fight…now! He shrieked like a 5-year old girl when he demanded the fight.

The arena darkened as chanting music began to fill the arena. The sapphire smoke drifted down to the ring. Druids ushered an ebony casket to the ring. This was drawn out a little long but what the heck. Brock eventually opened the coffin and it was empty. Brock got all cranky as he felt Taker was trying to play mind games. In a tribute to Harry Houdini (who was also born on March 24th, Undertaker suddenly rose from the coffin (after it had been closed again). Paul tripped out, big time. Taker crawled into the ring as Paul screamed for Brock to get out of the ring. Brock mustered up a little courage and tried to strike. Taker beat the crap out of the loud0mouth. La Bandera Clothesline sent Brock sailing over the Coffin. Taker looked better than he has in a long time. Brock pointed to the Mania sign and so did Taker. Taker then did the Throat Slice as Taker’s real music rose.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com
Twitter.com/jayshannonnv

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