WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ (TNA) IMPACT WRESTLING

Posted March 22nd, 2014 by jshannon

Multiple titles were on the line as TNA moved closer to Slammiversary.

The show opened with a recap of the Magnus/Samoa Joe/Abyss situation. Joe got screwed over at Lockdown. Abyss drove Janice into Joe’s ribs so Magnus could put out Joe. This week, Eric Young said he would be chained to Abyss to neutralize “The Monster”.

Bully Ray got called to the headquarters of TNA, earlier.

In the back, Eric Young was being decimated by Abyss. ODB went after Abyss but he No Sold the attack. Eric cracked Abyss with a trash can and punched away. Abyss fought back and clubbed his former friend. Abyss choked out Eric with a pipe. ODB screamed for help as Abyss continued to destroy Eric. EY tried to fight back but he was no match for the former Joseph Park. Abyss flung Eric into a bunch of chair in the catering area. Abyss got a chain but didn’t get to use it. Eric whipped Abyss with the chain and then cracked him in the skull and arm with it. They ended up fighting out into the main arena. Eric continued to whip Abyss with the chain. Eric clubbed the back with the links. Kneelift by Abyss. Straight punch to Eric’s head. Abyss threw Eric into the ring. Eric with a Baseball Slide Dropkick and Suicide Dive. Eric missed with a chair shot and Abyss pitched him into the ring steps. Abyss punched the skull of Eric, unmercifully.

Abyss went and got a chair. The Monster stalked his nearly-helpless foe. Abyss set up the chair but Eric fought back before Abyss could do anything. Abyss Faceplanted Eric into the edge of the chair. Abyss choked Eric with something that I couldn’t’ see. Abyss punched away on Eric as the fans chanted “Joseph!”. Abyss choked Eric with the chain but Eric bit the Monster in the head. Eric with wild Haymakers. Black Hole Slam by Abyss. Abyss got the chain and choked Eric in the ropes. Abyss sat down to choke him even further. Eric collapsed after turning blood red. Abyss stepped out and ODB checked on her hubby.

Ethan Carter III strolled out from the back. Ethan was having to face the newest member of the TNA roster…Bobby Lashley!

Ethan Carter III vs Bobby Lashley

Ethan took the fight to Bobby. Universal into a Clothesline by Bobby. Whip by Bobby into a Corner Rush. Ethan blasted Bobby. Bobby with a nice Stall Suplex. Bobby threw Ethan in the corner and stomped away. Huge Biel by Bobby. Bobby went for the Spear but Ethan bailed out of the ring. Ethan rammed Bobby into the ring apron. The two traded wild shots and then Ethan pitched Bobby back in the ring. Ethan went up but fell to a Rocket Launcher.

Ethan pulled Bobby into the corner and drove the knee into Bobby’s face. Ethan climbed the corner and punched bobby in the head. Ethan with a Double Sledge. Front Face Lock by EC3. Ethan cracked the neck, over and over. Spinebuster by Bobby. Ethan charged but Ethan bailed out. Bobby chased him out and hit a Clothesline. Bobby threw Ethan back in and charged the corner. Corner Clothesline and stomps by Lashley. Ethan tried to reverse a Whip but it failed. Back Low Kick to the nethers. Ethan bailed out to the floor. He tried to take off but ran into…Willow! Crap! I hate this idiotic character. The reborn Jeff Hardy whipped Ethan into the steps, over and over. Willow pulled out another ladder and set it in place. Willow slid a chair around Ethan’s legand jumped off the ring steps to stomp the chair. Elbow Drop by Willow. Willow headed up the ladder but Ethan scooted under the ladder to escape.

Your Winner: Match Thrown Out
Impact Score: 1.5 (Points decreased due to crappy finish)

Bully Ray was waiting outside Dixie Carter’s office. This didn’t look good for Bubba. Ray said he would play Dixie’s game, if he had to.

Samoa Joe came in to talk with MVP. Joe admitted he was frustrated at what happened at Lockdown and the fact that Eric Young was on his way to the hospital. MVP wanted to neutralize Abyss, as well. MVP said he would find someone to counter Abyss. Joe said MVP just kept making things worse.

Elsewhere, Angelina Love was asked if there would be a Beautiful People Reunion. Love said it was almost time to find out where Velvet Sky stood.

Speaking of Velvet Sky, she and several others from TNA will be at Wrestlecon on April 5th and 6th. I am proud to finally, officially, announce that I will also be there to meet and greet with the fans. Didn’t want to jinx things until I confirmed my reservations but I’ll be landing in the Big Easy early on Friday morning and I’ll be all around town for the whole week-end. (I’ve heard that they have both a Golden Corral AND a Cici’s Pizza out there, so I’ll definitely be scooping those little eateries out). That will mean that there won’t be a TNA Recap for the week of April 3rd, and I do apologize, in advance, for that. If you are going to be in New Orleans, keep an eye out for an old man in a Rivalry Championship Wrestling polo shirt or a 1Wrestling.com nursing scrub top. That will almost certainly be me. Looking forward to seeing some great people in New Orleans.

Ethan barged into Magnus’s dressing room and went off on Magnus for not coming to his aid. Ethan called Magnus an “*ss”. Magnus joked about Ethan losing to a clown (Willow). Ethan said their business relationship was over. Magnus said he had already split with the Carters, since he had all he needed. Magnus said he only needed Abyss at his side. Magnus told Ethan to watch the championship match as it would be standing room only.

Gunner came out to talk with the crowd. Gunner talked a bit and then went out to chat with and to his dad. James Storm came out and insulted both Gunner and his dad. Storm ended up handcuffing Gunner around the middle ropes. Storm then pulled Gunner’s dad out of the crowd and roughed him up. He then cracked a beer bottle over Gunner’s dad’s skull.

Gail Kim grumbled about Lei’d Tapa. Kim took credit for creating the Knockout Division. Gail blamed Tapa for her recent losses. Gail said if Tapa loses their upcoming match, Gail was done with her and Tapa was done in TNA.

The BroMans and Zema Ion came in and ran into Tigre Uno and Sanada. They poked fun at the International Duo. This was really a dumb segment.

Lei’d Tapa vs Gail Kim

Impact showed how Tapa accidentally cost Gail Kim the match, last week. Tapa went off on Gail for a slap in the face.

The bell rang and Gail circled the huge Islandette. Gail went for a slap but Tapa grabbed the hand. One Arm Whip by Tapa. Headbuts by Tapa. Tapa shrieked like a banshee. Whip by Tapa but Gail rolled under. Kicks and punches by Gail. Gail ran into Tap and Tapa stood her ground. Choke Spinebuster by Tapa. Gail struggled to apply a Dragon Sleeper. Tapa powered out and threw Kim down. Tapa missed a Big Boot and Gail went after the knee. Gail punched Tapa. Lift Drop by Tapa. Tapa was dealing with a hurt knee. She barely crawled over to try for a pin. 2 count. Goozle by Tapa but Kim focused on the bad wheel with kicks and a Dropkick. Tapa went for a Samoan Drop but Gail escaped. Eat da Feet by Gail.

Your Winner: Gail Kim
Impact Score: 2.5

MVP tried to talk with Willow about being there to neutralize Abyss and get revenge on Magnus. Willow blathered on in psycho-babble that eventually meant he wanted no part of the scene. I so hate this ridiculous character. He cackles like the freakin’ Crypt Keeper.

Angelina Love then came out to get a final decision from Velvet Sky about the Beautiful People. Love brought out Sky and after a drawn out discussion (boring) Sky agreed to join Love. Sky then mentioned that there was another Beautiful People Member that should join the clique…Madison Rayne. Rayne came out and Love disrespected her and made her sound below Love and Sky. Rayne said Sky could do what she wanted but the Knockout Champion was going solo.

Magnus talked backstage about his title match. Magnus said he was focused on the match while Joe was looking for an ally. Magnus said all he cared about was the title and having Abyss at his side. Joe came up and went off, verbally, on the TNA World Champ. Joe said Magnus was going to Tap Out, tonight. Al Snow came up to pull them apart.

The Bro-Mans vs The Wolves and Sanada and Tigre Uno
Triple Team World Tag Team Title Match

Someone please shut Zema’a mouth and let him get back to wrestling. He’s annoying as Hell as a DJ but was decent as a pro wrestler. Jessie and Robbie came out first to the ear-numbing siren of DJZ. Sanada and Tigre Uno then came out. The X-Champion (Sanada) and Tigre Uno got in the ring. The Bro-Mans tried to talk the International Duo to take a dive for them. Robbie said they had to get to the club so they ordered Tigre and Sanada to lie down. Jessie screamed the same thing. Tigre took the stick and said “No!” The Bro-Mans tried to jump the challengers but got run out of the ring. Jessie and Robbie tried to take off but Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards showed up. The Wolves threw the tag champs into Stereo Baseball Slide Dropkicks by Sanada and Tigre. Break time.

The Wolves with a Double Team on Robbie. Sanda and Tigre took the double team to Jessie. Nice Sandwich Dropkick by Sanada and Tigre. The Wolves then went fist and fire to Sanada to Sanda and Tigre. Eddie, then Davey, took turns kicking and chopping Sanada. Tigre tripped the Wolbes. Sanda punches away but Robbie with a blind tag. Eddie ran Robbie into the corner and tagged Davey. The Wolves were hot and heavy. Tag to Tigre. Robbie attacked the masked Luchadore. Tag to Jessie.

Double Big Boots, in the corner, by the tag champs. Jessie with Presses of Tigre. Tag to Robbie. Flying Clothesline Drop by Robbie. Wheelbarrow Bulldog by Tigre. Sanada and Jessie were legal. Jumping Hurancanrana by the X-Champ. Sanada went up top by Zema distracted him by taking the X-belt. Jessie took a hard fall. Tigre fought both Wolves. Wolfsbane (Powerbomb/Back Stabber combo) by Eddie and Davey. Robbie made the save. Tigre cleared the ring. The Wolves went for The Howling but the Bro-Mans pitched the m out and hit the Bro-Down.

Your Winners: The Bro-Mans
Impact Score: 3.0

Angelina was upset that Madison said some things that were hurtful. Velvet suggested that Angelina should go talk to Madison and make things right.

Another promo ran for “King of the Night” Kenny King. He can so make me miss Las Vegas. I enjoyed my time living there.

Angelina came up to talk to Madison. Rayne didn’t want to talk to Love but did agree to listen. Love said the three of them should protect each other and be equals. Madison lightened up and hugged Love. As Madison turned, Love attacked her. She threw her into the lockers and Kneelifted. Love screamed that Madison should never disrespect her again. She claimed that the Beautiful People were only Sky and Love.

MVP came up to tell Joe that he would be chained to Abyss. MVP said Joe only had to focus on Magnus.

They ran a video package about Knux. Knux talked about a girl, back home, that called him to come back and figure things out. The girl looked somewhat familiar. Knux talked about the carnival life that he grew up in. There was a leopard appaloosa horse in the piece that looked so much like my beloved, Lacey. Lacey and her daughter, Gracie, are the background photo on my Tablet. That way they are always with me.

Sacrifice will be the next Pay Per View, on April 27th.

Bully Ray went into Dixie Carter’s office and read Dixie the riot act. Ray talked about how everyone hated Dixie Carter because she wasn’t a good human being. Ray discussed how much he hated Dixie and she hated him. Ray knew Dixie hated him because she couldn’t control him. Ray said Dixie bribed him to make sure Bobby Roode’s team won at Lockdown. Ray said he didn’t want to go out like the man he was prior to the Ken Anderson match. Ray said no one was going to control him so he made a statement at Lockdown. Ray said Dixie didn’t have anyone’s respect. He said she was a nobody in his industry. Ray said he wouldn’t talk to the back of a chair. He turn ed the chair around but it was empty. Bobby Roode rushed in and jumped Ray. They destroyed Dixie’s office. Bobby kept screaming about Ray screwing him over. Bobby said if was he that invited Bully Ray to Dixie’s office. Bully was out cold.

Elsewhere, Abyss and Magnus talked. Abyss said he had something special for Joe and MVP…thumbtacks.

Gunner and Storm will fight, next week. That one is going to be a true Barn Burner.

Magnus vs Samoa Joe
World Heavyweight Title Match

MVP ordered Abyss to get hooked up with the handcuffs and chain. Magnus jumped Joe and ran him into the corner. European Uppercut. Joe came back with a Knife Edge Cop, punches and a Headbutt. Chop/Kick Combo into the Flying Knee Drop. Joe grabbed his mid-section on the landing. Magnus pulled Joe to the outside and ran Joe’s ribs into the ring apron. Magnus pitched Joe back in the ring and punched away. European Uppercut and Forearm Smashes by Joe. Joe with solid punches. Magnus with a wild Knife Edge Chop. Joe reversed a Whip and clocked Magnus with a Back Elbow. Straight Jabs by Joe. Jumping Enziguri after the Corner Splash. Joe seemed to hesitate, due to the bad ribs. Break time.

Joe with a Knife Edge Chop but Magnus returned with a Big Boot. Inverted Atomic Drop by Joe. Kitchen Sink by Magnus. Back Drop Suplex by Magnus. Joe clutched his injured ribs. Magnus kicked at the ribs. Joe with more jabs. Magnus with a Clothesline. 2 count. Magnus planted is knee in the back and pulled back on the neck. Joe fought to his feet and went into a Universal. Beefcake Knee by Magnus. Reverse Bear Hug by Magnus. Back Elbows by Joe. Inverted Atomic Drop and Big Boot. Backsplash Senton that seemed to hurt Joe. Snap Powerslam by Joe but he couldn’t follow up. Joe is seriously hurt. One Arm Uranage and Kokina Clutch attempt. The ref got knocked down and then Abyss took out MVP. Abyss got the black bag but MVP attacked. The two battled and MVP got the bag. MVP unlocked himself from the chain. Abyss with chair shots to MVP. The ref was still out. Joe went for a Suicide Dive, on Abyss, but Abyss threw the chair in Joe’s face. Savage Elbow by Magnus. 3 count.

Your Winner: Magnus
Impact Score: 3.5

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com
Twitter.com/jayshannonv

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