Crystal Ball: Elimination Chamber 2014
Jay Shannon draws upon all his predictive powers to try and figure out the winners and losers of an upcoming major pro wrestling event.
It’s the final major step before Wrestlemania. Elimination Chamber almost always sets the stage for huge matches that occur at the Grand Daddy of them All, Mania. Let’s take a look at this year’s Elimination Chamber…
The Brotherhood (Cody Rhodes and Goldust) vs Rybaxle (Ryback and Curtis Axel)
Pre-Show Tag Team Match
This one has me a bit confused. I can’t figure out why they even booked this one. I guess it’s to help build the tag team division by figuring out who should be next to go after the tag belts. Thinking about Wrestlemania and what kind of matches could be set, I think The Brotherhood is going to lose this one. There is going to be a lot of finger pointing and, eventually, the two Rhodes Brothers are going to give us another Brother vs Brother match (ala Owen vs Bret at Wrestlemania X). I see Goldust getting pinned and Cody having a fit about what a complete screw-up Dustin/Goldust has always been. The two will battle, possibly with papa Dusty as the Guest Ref.
Predicted Winners: Curtis Axel and Ryback
Predicted Score: 2.0 out of a possible 5.0
Darren Young vs Titus O’Nail
When tag teams split, there is almost always one who shines in individual action and one who fades. Marty Jannetty, Don Kernodle, Dynamite Kid, Jim Neidhart and dozens of other outstanding stars just got left behind as their partners shined. Titus has a fantastic physique and incredible presence on the microphone. Darren has a huge amount of skills, in the ring. The winner of this match may not be the final winner in this feud. I think Titus is going to be over-confident, going in, and Darren is going to embarrass him. This feud will likely continue on for several months. I do think Titus will come out as the eventual winner of the feud but the first battle goes to his former friend and tag partner.
Predicted Winner: Darren Young
Predicted Score: 2.5
Big E (Langston) vs Jack Swagger
Intercontinental Championship Match
This match, I feel, is going to lead into something so much bigger than just the I-C strap. There has been quite a bit of talk about unifying the US and IC titles. Before that happens, I do feel Big E will lose the title, but I don’t think it will be to Swagger. Swagger has been in a major slump, as of late. I don’t see that changing. Also, having Big E defeat a former World Champion will help to build his reputation. Big E is on his way to be this generation’s Diesel so he needs a few impressive notches in his belt. I do feel that Big E is going to drop the belt to either Seth Rollins or Roman Reigns, which will set up Shield vs Shield for the unified belts. Well, Shield vs Shield may not be quite the right way to put it…as I’ll explain in a minute.
Predicted Winner: Big E
Predicted Score: 3.0
New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg and Billy Gunn) vs Jimmy and Jey Uso
Tag Team Title Match
The Usos are almost half the age of the Outlaws (no that’s not a shot at the Old Age Outlaws, as Road Dogg would put it…it’s just a fact). The Usos are hungry for their first titles. The WWE has hinted, over and over, that the Usos were just a step out from standing at the top of the tag mountain. Everything in me says to go with the Usos to take this one, which is exactly why I’m going the other way. It’s too obvious that the Usos will win. The Outlaws are going to pull some kind of shenanigans to retain and head into Wrestlemania as the champs.
Predicted Winners: The New Age Outlaws
Predicted Grade: 2.75
Batista vs Alberto Del Rio
This one is going to be a glorified squash match. Oh, Del Rio will get his shots in, don’t get me wrong. There is just no way that Batista loses or even looks bad in this match. There is, of course, the wild card of Brock Lesnar. He grumbled about wanting the title shot against the champion and then suddenly disappeared. I’m wondering if he might show and get involved. Maybe, but I’m still going with the Animal to neuter Del Rio.
Predicted Winner: Batista
Predicted Score: 2.5
The Shield vs The Wyatt Family
As the legendary Gorilla would put it “It’s the Irresistible Force (The Wyatts) vs The Immovable Object (The Shield)”. If this was going to be a straight-up fight, I’d almost have to flip a coin to decide the winner. However, the rumor mill has been running wild with suggestions that someone in The Shield will defect to the Wyatts. I’m putting my money on Seth Rollins. He’s basically been pushed into the background as Roman got his first push and Dean had the US title. Seth has been constantly playing peacemaker between Roman and Dean. What a better mind game to play than to have the calming effect cause the biggest ripple? I could see it coming down to Dean going against Bray. Dean goes for his “Worst Case Scenario” finisher (the 1%er). Seth rushes in and attacks Dean and Bray pins Dean. After the match, Seth leaves with Bray and the boys. I could then see Seth take the US title off Dean on the following Raw. Roman eventually takes out Big E for the U.S. strap and the two former partners go at it at Mania in a Unification Match. That’s for sure how I’d book it. Regardless of which member of The Shield goes over to the Wyatts, a betrayal is going to bring the win to the Wyatts.
Predicted Winners: The Wyatt Family
Predicted Grade: 3.25
Randy Orton vs Sheamus vs John Cena vs Christian vs Cesaro vs Daniel Bryan
Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE World Championship
I know who I want to win this one (Cesaro) but that isn’t going to happen. Daniel Bryan is going into the match hurt so I don’t see him taking the win. Christian, as much as I am a fan of him, is seriously out of his league in this battle. He’s likely the first to go out. I’d like to see Sheamus take this one but I don’t see the WWE going that way. That brings it down to John Cena and Randy Orton. Both of them have history with Batista, who is waiting in the wings. Honestly, Cena vs Batista would be a much better match than Orton vs Batista. There is an old adage that says to always go with the champion to retain. As much as I really want to see the belt(s) come off of Orton, I don’t think it’s going to happen on Sunday. Brock Lesanr might also get involved. I had the wild passing thought that Brock might attack Christian or Daniel Bryan and take their place in the E-Chamber. (Kane ight also take out Daniel, backstage, and Paul Heyman brokers a deal to put Brock in as a replacement for Daniel). If Brock ended up in there, I’d 100% go with him and we’d see Brock vs Batista at Wrestlemania. If Brock isn’t involved, then I’m going with Randy to keep the title.
Predicted Winner: Randy Orton (alternate Brock Lesnar)
Predicted Grade: 4.0
While there might not be that much change at this event, what will happen is going to snowball its way down to New Orleans. This one sets the stage for the Grandest Stage of them All. WWE just can’t afford to stumble on this one or there are in deep trouble going in to Wrestlemania.