I want to begin by thanking Joe and Scooter for their with this week’s recap. A fun winter wind storm out here in Nevada knocked out myable…of course…right during Impact. I got pieces and parts and Joe and Scooter helped me fill in the holes. Much thanks, my brothers.
After seeing the review of the MVP vs Dixie Carter confrontation, we went to the ring. Dixie Carter tried to dismiss MVP’s changes in the company and bragged about Magnus and Ethan Carter III (her nephew, just in case you didn’t know). Magnus took the stick and went off on the fans for calling him a Sell Out. He told them that they made him embarrassed to be British. After a bit more ranting, MVP and Samoa Joe walked from the back. MVP said Joe had earned the Number One Contender spot and would face the TNA World Champion (currently Magnus) at Lockdown. Gunner then strolled out and mentioned that he was tired of carrying around the Feast or Fired Briefcase. He gave Magnus a week’s notice that he would be cashing in, next week. Hmm…that 7-day notice thing didn’t work so well for John Cena but who knows? Dixie said Gunner just might not have the briefcase to cash in because she was putting the case up for grabs with Gunner defending against…Ethan Carter III. MVP said he was learning how to play the game in TNA, so he would have EC3 put up his Tag Team Briefcase, as well.
Gunner (and James Storm) vs Ethan Carter III (and Magnus)
Tag Team Battle for the Briefcases, Ladder Match
This was originally supposed to just be Gunner vs EC2. However, about halfway through the match, both Magnus and James Storm got involved. MVP then, on the fly, converted the Ladder Match to a tag team battle. It looked bad for the Anti-Dixie team as Magnus sent Gunner out to the floor. Storm then took out Magnus and himself with a Cactus Clothesline. Ethan set up the ladder and went to attack Gunner, who had climbed back up onto the apron. Gunner surprised Ethan with a Uranage and Savage Elbow. Gunner then climbs the ladder and grabs the briefcases. Even though he slipped off the ladder, Gunner managed to hold on and pull down the briefcases, chains and the whole shooting match to win both cases.
Your Winner: The GunSligners (Gunner and James Storm)
Impact Score: 3.0 out of a possible 5
Ken Anderson cut a brief promo about what he was going to do to Bully Ray in their Coffin Match.
In the office, Spud was using tape to divide the room for Dixie and MVP. He was, of course, making sure that Dixie had the bigger half of the room. So reminds me of an old Three Stooges short from the World War II era. Anyway, The BroMans and Zema Ion strolled in. The BroMans started complaining, just as MVP walked in. MVP threatened to strip Jessie and Robbie of the titles if they were so unhappy. He then changed his mind and decided that the trio needed a match to change their attitudes. He put them in a six man against…Samoa Joe and The Wolves!
Zema Ion, Robbie and Jessie vs Samoa Joe, Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards
The BroMans and Ion just got seriously annihilated by The Wolves and Joe. The Wolves took the BroMans to the floor and basically kept them completely out of the picture. Ion charged Joe and got blasted with the Uranage Slam. Joe then forced Ion to tap out to the Kokina Clutch.
Your Winners: Samoa Joe and The Wolves
Impact Score: 2.50
Abyss was on a rampage backstage. There was no safety for the backstage crew. Abyss grabbed several people and threw them around.
Velvet Sky came in and tried to beg off from her match against Chris Sabin. Dixie lectured Velvet that she was paid to perform, not sit on her butt. After she left, MVP got into it with RockStar Spud. MVP said he hadn’t planned to wrestle, as he was trying to clean up TNA. He said that a good wrestler always has his gear so he’d deal with Spud, in the ring.
A mask-less Abyss came down to the ring. Joseph Park (the man behind the mask) said he wanted the lights kept low as he talked about this nightmare. He said he never wanted things to happen like they did but Eric Young needed to prove that Abyss and Joseph Park were one and the same. Abyss-Park then asked Eric to come to the ring. Park said that Eric had agreed to help Joseph find his “Brother”, Abyss. Joseph held up the Abyss Mask/Hair combo thing and said Eric did help him find Abyss. Abyss/Park had a meltdown, in the ring, as he removed his jacket to show all the brutal scars and such that he has inflicted on himself over the years. Park said he had destroyed so many lives and caused so much carnage and he just couldn’t do it anymore. Park asked for help and Eric said they had only a little more to go to finish this. Park says Eric can’t help him anymore. He needs to find someone that truly understands him. Abyss/Park then took the mask and dropped it at Eric’s feet. Abyss then walked into the sunset…ok, he went to the back.
I can only hope that when he returns, Park/Abyss has Father James Mitchell at his side. Anyone less would be such a disappointment. I hope and pray it’s not some goofy shrink (ala Kane/Daniel Bryan in WWE).
The whole creepy Stalker storyline with Samual Shaw and Christy Hemme took it to another level as Shaw appeared to agree to keep their relationship professional. When she shook his hand, he waited until she left and then sniffed his hand and smiled. Creepy is an understatement. Disturbing fits so much better.
MVP vs RockStar Spud
Spud did his best to stay out of the ring but MVP went out and got him. Spud caught MVP with a Cheap Shot after MVP pitched the diminutive Brit into the ring. Spud with an almost silly-looking Side Headlock on MVP. Spud released that and kicked away at The Investor. MVP came back with the Flapjack, Ballin’ (Elbow Drop) and then a Floating Bicycle Kick to destroy Spud.
Your Winner: MVP
Impact Score: 1.5 (the match itself was pretty awful)
Bobby Roode stormed around, backstage. He was looking for Dixie Carter but couldn’t find her.
TNA ran a weird promo of some masked guy walking around with a sun umbrella and grumbling about how difficult life is. Scooter said it was Jeff Hardy but that was one of the segments where the sound was ok but the picture on my set was sobbly.
Bobby Roode finally found Dixie and tore her a new one about not getting a title shot. She countered that Roode lost that title shot when he couldn’t’ beat Samoa Joe. Roode went into a berserker rage and warned Dixie that she did no want him as an enemy. Sounds like a good ol’ fashioned Face Turn to me.
Velvet Sky vs Chris Sabin
Sabin decided to be a “Gentleman” and wanted Sky to take the first shot. Sky didn’t want this and refused. Sabin then berated her unmercifully and ordered her to take the first shot. She eventually kicked him in the knee. She then kicked him in the crotch. He laughed it off and pulled a protective cup out of his tights, claiming he knew she would go there. Once he made the mistake of removing the cup, Sky Low Blowed him and went wild on her former boyfriend. A huge woman (Alpha Female) came out and beat the stuffing out of Sky. I saw some video of AF’s match against ODB, in Europe, and this new woman is going to wreak havoc in the Knockout Division.
In a truly disturbing vignette, Bully Ray took Ken Anderson’s cell phone out of Ken’s bag. Ray makes a passing comment about how cute Ken’s kids are and then calls Ken’s wife. He tells her this is the call she has been dreading. He explains that he is going to put Ken in the coffin and she should tell the kids that Daddy isn’t coming home. He then hangs up an replaces the phone. That went just way too far.
Bobby Roode tells the camera crew that he’s had it and needs to go figure some things out. Security comes in and tells Bobby that Dixie has ordered him to be removed from the building.
So, Bobby and Abyss are taking some time off. Jeff Jarrett is gone. Kurt Angle may or may not be injured. Hulk Hogan is off to VinceLand. A.J. Styles is tearing things up in Ring of Honor. Aces and Eights have departed. TNA is so running on a skeleton crew, right now. Fortunately, Jeff Hardy (or some variation of the character) is returning at Lockdown.
Ken Anderson vs Bully Ray
After a long, grueling mach, Ray Powerbombed Anderson through a table. It looked all over but the crying, at that point. Ray took Ken over and got ready to Piledrive Ken into the coffin. Ray wasted time talking about how this was for Ken’s wife. That ignited one last spark in Mr. Anderson, who escaped the Piledriver and used the Mic Check to plant Ray solidly in the middle of the casket. Ken Anderson then slammed the lid, closing this chapter of his career and the feud with Bully Ray.
Your Winner: Ken Anderson
Impact Score: 3.25
Makes me think that Bully Ray is also taking some time off from TNA. If they keep this up, TNA isn’t going to have a soul left to fight.
We finish the night by going back to the executive office. MVP jokingly asks if their assistant (Spud) is awake yet. Dixie tries to buy out MVP but he’s not willing to sell. She runs her mouth a little too much and ticks off MVP with her insults. He suggests a Lethal Lockdown match at Lockdown: Team MVP vs Team Dixie. The winning team would bring full ownership of the company to either MVP or Dixie. Dixie didn’t like the idea but MVP kept pushing until she finally agreed. She warned him that he would regret this decision. “In your dreams” was his response.