Posted January 28th, 2014 by jshannon

Royal Rumble got some serious negative reactions from the fans. They drowned out the WWE World Title match, calling for Daniel Bryan and Chris Jericho. They also berated Batista (or Boo-Tista as the internet has dubbed him) when he ousted Roman Reigns to win the Rumble. How would the WWE recover from this near-disaster?

The show opened with highlights of the Rumble. Bray Wyatt and his bunch invaded the WWE World title match, allowing Randy to retain. Bray hit Sister Abigail on Cena. This feud absolutely makes no sense. Maybe it will be explained…

HHH and Stephanie McMahon arrived to chat with the fans. They were the happy loving couple as they hugged their way down the ramp. While they were getting ready, stills of Brock Lesnar’s assault on Big Show were shown. Brock went after Show with a dozen chairs or so. Steph took the stick and talked about how great the Royal Rumble was. Really? Apparently the deafness of Vinny Mac extends to his daughter and son-in-law. HHH mocked the fans for not getting what they wanted. HHH praised Randy Orton, Brock Lesnar and Batista for their wins. Steph then brought up the Elimination Chamber. Steph explained that Randy would defend his title inside the E-Chamber.

Out came the Fan’s Champion, Daniel Bryan. Cole touched on the fact that the fans wanted Daniel Bryan in last night’s Royal Rumble. Daniel was shut out of the match. The fans went wild with their support for Daniel. Daniel teased the fans by saying The Authority doesn’t like hearing support for him. That only made the chants louder. Steph insulted the fans by saying they were falling for Daniel’s parlor tricks. Daniel talked about how great his match was, last night. HHH downplayed the effort by Daniel. Daniel grumbled about being left out of the Royal Rumble. Daniel explained that he and the fans wanted him in the Rumble match. Daniel said there was now a “Yes Movement”. Daniel was constantly denied admission into the Rumble. Stephanie tried to make it sound like they were protecting Daniel’s health. That set off the fans, again. Daniel blew it off by talking about all the Handicap Matches and multiple matches he’s had to deal with on given nights. Daniel said The Authority didn’t care about his health or what was best for business. Stephanie suggested that Daniel was just being selfish. Stephanie asked if Daniel thought the fans only came there to see him? The crowd answered with a deafening “Yes” chant/ Daniel asked the crowd who they came to see. Daniel told The Authority to listen to the people. Stephanie pretended not to understand the fans. Daniel demanded to be placed in the Elimination Chamber match. Daniel got up in HHH’s face and said he wasn’t going to leave until he got what he wanted.

Triple H reminded Daniel that he had company in the ring. Out came The Shield. Seriously? Daniel rushed to the outside to get a steel chair. He was ready for bear. Roman got a shot in on Daniel which led to the 3-on-1 beat down. Sheamus then rushed out to help Daniel. They did their best to mug him but he Irishman wasn’t going down easily. John Cena then joined the party. All Hell broke loose in the middle of the ring. The Shield members were sent flying. Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns took off for higher ground.

Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio vs Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger (The Real Americans)

Michael Cole announced the main event: The Shield vs John Cena, Daniel Bryan and Sheamus. The three winning team would go into the Elimination Chamber to face Randy Orton.

Zeb Colter came out and talked about how masked men were criminals (Come On, Zeb, I know you listened to Lone Ranger when you were a kid).

Rey and Antonio to open. Hammerlock by Antonio. Back Elbow and Arm Drag by Rey. Tag to Cara. Double Whip and Springboard Hurancanrana. Double Roll by Cara. Jack with a Whip but Cara with a Victory Roll. Sptingboard Back Elbow by Cara. Jack threw Cara into the ropes. Low Bridge sent Jack to the floor. Tope Suicida by Cara. Zeb screamed at Jack and then slapped Jack in the face. Bad move, old man.

Jack with a Running Knee and Amateur Throw. Zeb screamed at Jack to take out his anger on Sin Cara. Break time.

Antonio with a Back Elbow. Enziguri by Cara. Jack took the tag and stopped Cara from tagging out. Tilt-a-Whirl DDT by Cara. Cara pitched Antonio up and over the top rope. Antonio yanked Rey off the ropes to prevent a tag. Roll Up by Cara but Antonio powered out. Antonio powered Cara up and around for a Powerslam. Jack tagged back in. Estocada-like slam by the Real Americans. Jack kicked at Cara. Jack missed the Swagger Bomb and Antonio missed a Corner Splash. Cara inched his way over and finally got the tag. Tilti-a-Whirl Headscissors by Rey. Rey ended up on the apron and then Dropped the Dime and hit the Wheelbarrow Bulldog. Jack had to make the save. Double team by the masked men. 619! Cara with the tag. He missed the Top Rope Senton. Cara went for a Springboard move but got nailed with the European Uppercut. Neutralizer!

Your Winners: The Real Americans
Raw Ranking: 3.5 out of a possible 5

Wade Barrett was back for more of his stupid “Bad News” crap. He talked about the upcoming match between Miz and Dolph Ziggler. It was being called “The Battle of Cleveland”. Wade insulted both men and Cleveland. I’m so sick of this waste of time. Put him in the ring or send him back across the Big Pond.

The announcers then talked about the upcoming WWE Network and the new show on the internet system…Monday Night War. I miss those days. TNA and Ring of Honor are fantastic but they are not quite to the same level as WCW was, way back when.

Fandango vs R-Truth

Randango was humiliated, at Rumble, by being eliminated by El Torito. Yep, Jake Roberts, RVD and Daniel Bryan were kept out of the Rumble, but a midget in a bull suit got to go in and eliminate someone. No wonder the fans were so ticked off.

After a quick set of commercials, it was time to get this party started. Xavier Woods was at ringside. Side Headlock by Truth. Shoulder Tackle by Truth. Emma was back at ringside. Backslide by Truth for a two. Truth went for his Lie Detector but Fandango went to the floor. Truth went after Fandango. Summer Rae distracted Truth, which allowed Fandango to hit a Clothesline.

Fandango with a Knee Strike. Short Arm Clothesline by Fandango. 1-2-no. Rear Chin Lock by Fandango. Xavier talked about getting his PhD to help autistic kids. Whip by Fandango. Back Elbow and Clotheslines by Truth. Suplex Stunner by Truth. 2 count. Fandango fought back and dropped Truth. Fandango missed the Perfect 10 and fell to Facing the Truth!

Your Winner: R-Truth
Raw Ranking: 3.0

Randy Orton walked backstage, clutching his dual title belts. He would make an appearance, next.

Brad Maddox was in the ring to introduce Randy Orton. The Viper was a cranky baby as he came to the ring. When are they going to just make Randy a single belt? The announcers were still confused why The Wyatts attacked John Cena, at Royal Rumble. The “Daniel Bryan” chants rose as Orton started to speak. Orton mocked Cena’s “The Champ is Here” catchphrase. Randy didn’t care if people thought it was a “hollow victory”. Randy wasn’t happy to hear that he had to face five guys at Elimination Chamber. Randy demanded respect. Randy was cut off by the arrival of Batista.

The winner of the Royal Rumble strolled out in lumberjack gear, including work boots. Those kind of boots aren’t that great to wear in the ring. Batista took the other microphone and absorbed the boos of the fans. I guess that the fans aren’t happy being “Force Fed” The Animal. Batista praised Randy as another round of “Daniel Bryan” chants rose. It was obvious that the chants were throwing Batista off his game. Batista didn’t care who he faced at Wrestlemania. Batista swore he would walk out of New Orleans as the new WWE World Champion.

Enter Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. Let’s see Brock and Batista beat the stuffing out of each other at E-Chamber. The announcers discussed the destruction beat down of Big Show, at Rumble. Batista destroyed several chairs to take out Big Show. Paul took the stick and addressed Brad Maddox. Paul explained he was there to represent Brock. Brock’s patience was running thin. Paul explained that Brock was giving The Authority 2 choices:

1. Randy Orton vs Brock Lesnar for the World Title
2. Batista vs Brock Lesnar to determine the true number one contender

Paul said that either match would make the fans the real winners. Paul said The Authority would pick one of the two choices…or else.

Dolph Ziggler vs The Miz
The Battle of Cleveland Match

No special stipulations in this one. Both men are simply from the Cleveland area and it’s a battle of honor. Both guys came out with jerseys (Miz- Cleveland Browns, Dolph – Cleveland Cavaliers (or as my late wife called them…the Cleveland Cadavers)). As for me, I’m wearing my Dallas Cowboys jersey (#22—Emmett Smith). Both men were introduced from Cleveland. Dolph is usually billed from Florida.

Collar and Elbow. Side Headlock by Dolph. Shoulder Tackle by Dolph. Universal into a Kitchen Sink by Miz. Miz charged the corner and hit the Full Body Clothesline. Dolph took down Miz and got a two count. Sleeper by Dolph. Miz dropped to his knee as JBL kept insulting Cleveland. Miz went all the way to the canvas. “Cleveland Rocks!” began to swell from the crowd. Miz popped Dolph and got a two count. Dolph blocked the Skull Crushing Finale. Reality Check by Miz was blocked. Miz cinched in the Figure Four Leglock! Dolph shrieked as he dragged himself to the ropes. Dolph just barely reached the ropes. Miz had to break. Miz tried for another Figure Four but Dolph with a Small Package.. They went back and forth. Dolph then nailed the Zig Zag, out of nowhere.

Your Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Raw Ranking: 2.75

Ryback and Curtis Axel vs The Usos

Ryback was set to go against Jey. Ryback threw Jey into the corner but Uso with hard shots. Universal into a Corner Runs by Ryback. Ryback ripped the shirt off Jey and threw him into the enemy corner. Axel taggd in and punched away. Dropkick by Axel. Jey began to fight back but Axel with a Clothesline to the back of Jey’s head. Axel bit Jey in the face. Tag to Ryback. Big Hungry sent Axel into Jey and then it his own Corner Smash. Stall Suplex by Ryback as the “Goldberg” chants started. Jey kicked out at two.

Ryback with sharp punches. Back Elbow by Ryback. Tag to Axel. Knife Edge Chop by Axel. Tag to Ryback. Snap Mare by Ryback into a Back Kick. Rear Chin Lock by Ryback. Ryback reversed a Whip but ended up striking the ring post. Ryback screamed in agony. Tag to Axel. Axel went after Jimmy so Jey tagged dout. Jimmy bounced Axel and then with a 360kick that was so his daddy’s thing (Mr. Perfect). Jimmy almost got the win but Jimmy didn’t’ see the tag. Jey with the blind tag. Thrust Kicks by both twins. Jimmy took the tag and went to the top. Jey took out Axel and Jimmy with the Top Rope Splash to Ryback.

Your Winner: The Usos
Raw Ranking: 2.75

Kofi Kingston vs Alberto Del Rio

Kofi made a heck of a jump (11 feet) to stay in the Rumble, last night. Del Rio wasn’t in the best of the moods. Batista eliminated Del Rio at the Rumble. Del Rio rambled in Spanglish, saying that he would keep Batista out of Wrestlemania. El Rio with a Thrust Kick and hard clubbing shots. Snap Mare and Yakuza Kick by Del Rio. Kofi came back with a wild flurry of kicks and a Dropkick. Corner Lock Punches by Kofi. Double Boots by Del Rio. Running Clothesline by Del Rio. Del Rio with a measured punch and a Whip. Kofi held on and let Del Rio slide out of the ring. Kofi then hit the Tope Suicida on Del Rio.

Back in the ring, Del Rio nailed Kofi with an Enziguri. Kofi was still on the apron. Del Rio threw Kofi into the ring barrier. Rear Chin Lock by Del Rio. Kofi punched away but ADR threw him down by the hair. Del Rio flew off the ropes and blasted Kofi. Del Rio stomped away at Kofi’s back. The fans began to chant for “JBL”. JBL stood up to get a bigger chant. Del Rio didn’t like JBL taking his spotlight. The two men fought on the ropes. The fans cheered for Jerry Lawler. Both men were knocked off the apron. Raw went to break.

Del Rio with the Rear Chin Lock after a failed pin attempt. Kofi worked up to his feet and nailed the Jawbreaker. 2 count for Kofi. German Suplex by ADR. 2 count. Back Elbow by Kofi and a Big Boot. Tornado DDT by Kofi. Dang. Planted him like a row of taters. Controlled Frenzy failed and ADR clipped the knee. Kofi with a Roll Up for two. Kofi connected with Controlled Frenzy and the Boom Drop. Kofi set fro Trouble in Paradise but missed. Del Rio tried to run away but Kofi brought him back in. SOS! Del Rio got his foot on the bottom rope. Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker by Del Rio. Del Rio wanted the Cross Armbreaker but had to settle for the Back Stabber. 2 count. Del Rio was so frustrated. ADR went up top but took too long. Kofi tripped him. Del Rio fought out of the Superplex and Kofi got trappe din the ropes. Double Stomp by Del Rio. Ouch. Del Rio with the Superkick.

Your Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Raw Ranking: 3.5

The announcers talked about the new pack that you can get for WWE 2K14. It includes Dusty Rhodes, Virgil, Rick Rude, Jake Roberts and Bruno Sammartino. Too cool. One of these days, I’ll get myself a PS3. Still stuck with this little PS2 but it’s still a nice escape from the craziness of real world.

Goldust and Cody Rhodes vs Road Dogg and Billy Gunn
WWE Tag Title Rematch

Yes, the New Age Outlaws are carrying the straps. This seems so strange to see them wearing the copper straps. Road Dogg did his entrance thing. Billy then took over and finished the bit. Dogg said they didn’t get the belts because of past relationships but because they are the best. Doff told Cody “You were good, you just weren’t good enough”. They Outlaws went to the floor. Dogg said they shouldn’t have to fight one night after winning the straps.

Goldust and Billy started the battle. DX Chop by Billy got Dust to run over him. Deep Arm Drag by Dust. Billy bailed out to the floor. Dogg used JBL’s hat to fan Billy. Billy got back in the ring. Tag to Dogg. Dogg sent Dust to the topes but Goldy with the Shoulder Tackle. Doff didn’t know what was going on. Dust ordered Bully to stay in his corner. Dust with a sharp punch and tag to Cody. Elbow Drop from the top turnbuckle. Side Headlock Takeover by Cody. 2 count. Dogg with a sharp punch. Clothesline by Cody. 2 counts. Arm Bar by Cody. Dogg reversed a Whip. Dogg dodged the Disaster Kick by going to the floor. The Outlaws went for some strategy time. Cody screamed “Get you old *ss in the ring” to Doff.

Doff and Cody traded punches and kicks. Rear Chin Lock Arm Bar by Cody. Knee Drops to Dogg’s arm. Doff with his version of the Flip Flop and Fly but Cody stopped it with a Dropkick. 2 count. Tag to Goldust. Uppercut and Snap Mare. Slider Knee and Arm Bar by Dust. Tag to Gunn. Gunn punched away and got a two count. Gunn tagged back out and went for a punch. Dust cracked Dogg, several times. Tag to Gunn. Gunn with a Whip but Dustin with his Goldustin Uppercut and an Inverted Atomic Drop. Gunn with a Big Boot. Raw took another break.

Gunn was in full control. Power Whips until Dust nailed the Snap Powerslam. Charles Robinson counted both men. Tag to Doff. Dust with the Fade to Black Flip Destroyer. 2 count. Tag to Gunn and Cody. Cody came off the ropes and decked Gunn. Goldustin Uppercut by Cody. Cody with a Crotch Chop. Springboard Missile Dropkick to both Outlaws. Gunn with a huge Clothesline.

Out of nowhere, Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman came out. Lesnar with F5s to both Cody and Goldust. Paul explained that The Authority refused to allow Brock Lesnar to compete. Therefore, Lesnar wouldn’t be fighting anyone. Paul said what was about to happen was happens when Brock doesn’t get what he wants. Lesnar attacked both Rhodes Brothers with chairs.

Your Winners (by Disqualification): The Rhodes Brothers
Raw Ranking: 3.0

Naomi, Cameron, Brie Bella and Nikki Bella vs A.J. Lee, Tamina Snuka, Aksana and Alicia Fox
8-Diva Tag Team Match

Aksana went against Cameron. Cameron turned her back and used her hair for an Arm Drag. Cameron with a kick and tag to Brie. Missile Dropkick. 1 count. Aksana and Brie traded kicks and tag to Nikki. Snap Mare and Dropkick to Aksana’s neck. Tag to Fox. Jaw Jammer by Nikki and Snap Mare. Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreakre by Fox. 2 count. Lee with the tag. Snap Mare into a Rear Chin Lock. Nikki worked to her feet and Elbowed free. Lee with the Funk Neckbreaker. 2 count. Aksana tagged back in. Aksana did a little dance and lifted Nikki for a Side Slam. 2 cont, again.

Tamina took the tag and stomped away. Scoop Slam by Snuka. Knee Drop by Snuka. Snuka wrenched on Nikki’s neck. Crossface by Snuka. Knee Lift and Whip by Snuka. Snuka threw her vest at Nikki. Snuka put Nikki on the top rope and threw her into the Sullivan Tree of Woe. Snuka got rocked by a Rolling Kick by Nikki. Dropkick and dive to tag Naomi. Lee had also tagged in. Dropkicks by Naomi. Lee with a wicked little shimmy and kick away. Naomi danced and hit a Leg Drop. 2 count. The Bellas went to take out the Heels. Triple Suplex! Sweet! Lee with a Spin Kick but Naomi with the Rear View. 1-2-3!

Your Winners: Naomi, Cameron, and the Bella Twins
Raw Ranking: 1.5

The Total Divas danced.

The next inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame was announced. And the crowd goes wild to learn that FINALLY…Jake “The Snake” Roberts got his rightful place in the Hall. A great promo video ran about him. I’ll have a profile ready about him in a few days. Teaching a class the next few days so I’ll work on it in bits and pieces. This is the one that I’ve so been waiting to do! Let’s hope Randy Savage is the next one to go in!

All I can say is…IT’S ABOUT TIME!

The announcers then talked some more about the WWE Network. If I end up with the updated Laptop that I’m planning for, I just might invest in the WWE Network. It’s kind of a neat idea to have access to all the videos without having to clutter up bookcases with tapes/DVDs that maybe only has one or two great matches. I’m still thinking it over…

John Cena, Sheamus and Daniel Bryan vs Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns
Elimination Chamber Qualification Match

After all the intros, Cena started against Dean. Collar and Elbow and Dean with a grinding Side Headlock. The crowd were split about their feelings towards Cena. Universal into a Shoulder Tackle by Cena. Seth took the tag and told Dean to get out. Go Behind by Seth. Snap Mare by Cena. Front Face Lock by Seth. Roman Reigns eliminated Seth and Dean at the Rumble. Cena with the Push Off into a Universal. Seth put on the brakes but Cena clocked him. Tag to Roman. Roman set the new Elimination Record by sending out 12 competitors. That broke Kane’s old 2001 record of 11. The crowd chanted for Roman. Cena looked confused.

Side Headdlock by Cena. Roman with a Shoulder Tackle. Roman with a Side Headlock. Cena with the Push and Roman with another Shoulder Tackle. Roman escaped the AA. Tag to Sheamus. The two mend went to the corner and Sheamus wanted the fight to go. They tied up and went to the corner. Roman with several hard punches. Sheamus returned with wild shots. Roman with a shot to the jaw. Cole ran down the list of guys that Roman eliminated. Sheamus with a hard kick. JBL got cranky when it was mentioned that Roman eliminated him. Celtic Plunge by Sheamus on Seth. Hard kick to Seth. In Ropes Crossfaces by the Celtic Warrior. Seth escaped the Fireman’s Carry and Dropkicked the knee. Tag to Dean. Dean stomped away on Sheamus. Dean with some boxing moves and Face Washes. Sheaus with a Sunning Shoulder. Tag to Daniel.

Daniel with wicked kicks to the chest of Dean. Whip and Hesitation Dropkick by Daniel. Top Rope Hurancanaran by Daniel. 2 count. European Uppercuts by Daniel. Tag to Seth. Drop Toe Hold into the Surfboard. Cringe. My wife grinned and said “Didn’t Vinny (Poochanelli) and Iceman do that move to you?” Yes, they did and it still hurts.

Sheamus tagged back in and hit a Legdrop. Tag to Cena. Double Suplex on Seth. 2 count. Cena with a couple of Punches and a Whip. Flying Clothesline by Seth. 2 count. Raw took another quick break.

Dean tore at Cena’s eyes. He Grapevined Cena’s leg. Seth took the tag. Seth stomped away and then Paintbrushed Cena. Sth spent too much time talking and Cena exploded on him. Boot by Seth into the BuffBuster. 2 count. Roman with his Flying Dropkick, from the floor. Cena got the bottom rope. Roman should have won the Rumble, not Boo-Tista. Roman with the Superman Punch! Roman stomped around before doing anything else. Roman screamed but Cena dodged the Spear. Roman seemed to hurt his knee. Roman got back in and Steam Rolled Cena. 2 count. Tag to Dean. Dean blasted Cena in the ribs and stomped the hand.

Dean with wild shots and a Back Elbow. Hammer Throw by Dean. They kept mentioning that Dean was the longest reigning champ, right now. Doesn’t mean much when you never defend the darn thing. Tag to Seth. Cena pulled himself towards his corner. Seth popped Daniel to avoid the tag. Seth backed off from Sheamus. Seth took Cena to the corner and punched away. Boot Choke by Seth. Dean tagged back in and kept the punishment going. Seated Abdominal Stretch by Dean. Seth with a Sleeper. Daniel got the crowd to chant for Cena. Cena got to his feet and ran Dean into the corner. Kitchen Sink by Dean into a DDT. 2 count, yet again. Cena with an Attitude Adjustment, out of the clear blue. Tag to Daniel and Seth. Daniel took Roman of the apron with a Dropkick. Daniel ran the ropes and hit a Tope Suicida on Dean. Missile Dropkick to Seth and Kip Up. Daniel with wild kicks to the chest and head. 2 count before Roman made the save. Shemaus with Corner Attack but Roman with the Spear. Roman also Speared Cena. Dragon’s Fang Knee by Daniel. Seth with the Roll Up but Daniel kicked out. The two traded hard fists. Seth with a German but Daniel landed on his feet. Buckle Bomb by Seth. Seth with a Corner Splash. Seth went up top and got ready to fly. Daniel dodged Seth and hit a wicked German. Daniel with a Hesitation Dropkick that missed. Daniel countered a Roll Up into the Yes Lock. It all broke down into complete chaos. Seth missed a Corner Splash. Double Collission in the middle of the ring. Cena got up and took the tag. Roman got he tag, as well. STF by Cena but Roman started to power out.

The lights went out and the Wyatt Family came in to attacked Cena, Daniel and Sheamus. It went into a complete mosh pit. Cena pitched Harper out. Sheamus and Ddaniel sent Rowan to the floor. Bray had already bailed. It was announced that Daniel Bryan, John Cena and Sheamus would go to the Elimination Chamber, since they won…by disqualification. The Shield members were livid at the Wyatt Family. I sense an incredible six-man match at E-Chamber!


–Jay Shannon

Category: Wrestling.


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