WHAT HAPPENED @ (TNA) IMPACT WRESTLING

Posted December 27th, 2013 by jshannon

Final Resolution crowned a new World Champion. The fall-out from that started, this week. Plus, Joseph Park took the next step in uniting his two personalities. Plus, Sting had an idea for The Carters.

The show opened with a highlight reel of the the World Title Match, held under DixieLand Rules. Hardy almost had the match won, until RockStar Spud tipped over the ladder. Magnus crawled up the ladder and retrieved the title belt. Magnus immediately hugged Dixie and turned on the fans.

Speaking of Dixie Carter, she was brought to the ring by her toadie, Spud. She had a special announcement to share. She kept getting interrupted. Mike Tenay mentioned that Magnus was the first British World Champion in over 100 years. I’m not sure if that’s 100% accurate but we’ll go with it, for now. The crowd chanted “We Want A.J.”. I had to explain to my mom who A.J. Styles was. I love having her here for the holidays. She gets to share my fondness for wrestling.

Dixie was interrupted by Jeff hardy. Spud decided to get all mouthy and nearly got laid out. Ethan Carter III rushed the ring and took out Hardy. Dixie started to do the announcement, again, but got cut off by Sting. Spud and EC3 bailed out of the ring. Sting wanted to join Hardy and fight Spud and Ethan. Dixie eventually agreed, but OF COURSE took credit for the idea of the tag match. Time for a break.

After the break, Dixie was still trying to make her announcement. Oh, come on (as I channel the Ghost of J.C. Scott). She was interrupted, again. This time, Gunner came out to demand his guaranteed World Title Shot against Magnus. Dixie explained that Magnus was home in England and the title shot would have to wait. She went back to doing her announcement but “Cowboy” James Storm came out to confront Gunner. Storm complained about how Gunner stabbed him in the back for the title shot briefcase. Storm then challenged Gunner to a match for the briefcase. Dixie stepped in and made the match, again taking credit for the idea. She was about to finally make her huge announcement but was so disgusted by all the interruptions that she headed to the back. About darn time.

Gunner vs James Storm
Briefcase Battle Match

Collar and Elbow to open the match, after a shoving battle. They rolled along the ropes and went to the corner. The ref broke them apart. Side Headlock by Storm but Gunner sent Storm to the ropes. Storm put on the brakes. Go Behind into a Side Headlock by Gunner. Shoulder Tackle and quick pin attempt. 2 count. Side Headlock by Storm but Gunner tried to roll him into a pin. Storm with a kick. Back Elbow by Gunner. Flying Neckbreaker by Storm for a two count. Storm with a Forearm but Storm came back with a Knife Edge Chop. Storm was flipped over the ropes and came back with the Jumping Enziguri and Flying Forearm.

The two men exchanged Knife Edge Chops and punches. Snap Mare by Storm into a Jumping Kneedrop. Storm with a Shoulder and Suplex. 2 count. Rear Chin Lock by Gunner. Gunner took Storm to the corner and punched away. Storm responded, in kind. The two got into a slugfest. Storm Speared Storm and both men ended up on the floor. Earl Hebner started counting the men. Storm threw Gunner into the ring steps. Earl called for the bell.

Your Winner: Double Count-out
(SERIOUSLY?)
Impact Score: 1.5 out of a possible 5

Storm and Gunner kept fighting up the ramp. The refs had little effect in keeping them apart. They fought all the way to the back.

Brooke Tessmacher came up to talk to Bully Ray. She wondered why Ray wouldn’t answer her calls or texts. Ray kept silent. Brooke said she would go out to the ring and air all the dirtiest laundry in the ring. Ray called her back. He mumbled something to her and she stormed off.

The first of a series of “History of Magnus” vignettes ran. Magnus talked about being in TNA for five years. He talked about the awful characters that he was stuck with. He grumbled about being “stuck” with Samoa Joe. He blamed Hulk Hogan for holding him back (by imitating Hulk). It all stopped when he got hurt.

Brooke walked out with an all now look. No more Daisy Dukes and such. She had a much more serious look on her face. Brooke said Ray has ignored her for weeks. She refused to take the blame for the demise of Aces and Eights or for the loss of the World Title.

Bully Ray walked out with no music or video. He was booed as he strolled to the ring. “We Want Devon” was a rising chant. Brooke asked for an explanation. She knew that they could fix things. Ray turned his back on her. That set her off, big time. Brooke said she was done by his “dog”. Brooke accused Ray of destroying everything around them. Brooke admitted that she used him for fame and fortune. She mocked him for his attitude and recent behavior. He finally turned and walked up to her. Brooke said she was no one’s possession and she didn’t need him. She told Ray that they were done. She started to leave but Ray grabbed her. “You’re done…when I’m done with you”. Ray said he didn’t blame Brooke, anymore. He insulted her intelligence. He said he had “other uses” for Brooke and he felt she wasn’t all that good at those uses. Ray said he sometimes wishes that he was back with Brooke#1. Creepy music began to play as Ray said he could Piledrive her. He decided not to do that because he wanted her to spread the word about how sick and sadistic he was going to be. He told her it was going to be a lot worse. “I’m done with you…leave!” She got out of the ring as the organ music continued to play. Weird.

Joseph Park was freaking out about the barbed wire and thumbtacks, backstage. He didn’t understand why Eric Young wanted him to get into this kind of a match (Monster’s Ball). That match was on deck.

It was time for another Magnus vignette. This one revolved around the whole Main Event Mafia situation. Magnus felt the other members were threatened by him.

Ethan and Spud came in to talk with Dixie. Ethan pretended that he was worried about Spud’s health. Ethan explained to Dixie that she wasn’t getting in the ring, they were. She reminded Ethan that they were Carters. She ordered them to go get ready. Dixie said she had them covered. Hmm….

A profile video of the two sides of Joseph Park aired. Eric keeps trying to get Joseph to revert to his monstrous alter-ego…Abyss. Eric set up the Monster’s Ball Match between Park and Bad Influence.

Joseph Park vs Christopher Daniels and Kazarian
Monster’s Ball Handicap Match

Eric had the techs play Abyss’ music for Park’s entrance. Park was carrying Janice (the nail-studded 2×4). There was a quick break before the insanity kicked in.

Sting chatted with Jeff Hardy, in the back. Hardy seemed to be ignoring most of what Sting had to say. Sting was super-psyched but Hardy just seemed to be distant. Hardy didn’t come to town to wrestle, tonight. Sting tried to pump up his partner. Hardy finally agreed to work with Sting, tonight.

Bad Influence made their entrance. Daniels had a crutch and Kaz had a kendo stick. Park swiped at them with Janice. “Fallen Angel” rang out for Daniels. Park was stuck and dropped Janice. Kaz and Daniels took turns blasting Park. Daniels choked Park with the kendo stick. Double team by Bad Influence. Kaz and Daniels went out to find a few more “toys”. Daniels got in and stomped away on Park. Kaz drove a crutch into Park’s throat. This was ridiculous. Daniels used the tape off his wrist to choke Park. Kaz almost struck Park in the face but Daniels stopped him. He didn’t want bloodshed. Park came back with Scoop Slams to both guys. Park got the kendo stick but Kaz cracked Park in the back with a trash can.

Park was pitched out of the ring. Park was thrown into the ring steps. They checked to make sure that Park wasn’t bleeding. Park was tossed back into the ring. Kaz and Daniels alternated hitting Park. Park fought back and Kaz ended up crashing into a chair that was wedged into the corner. Park put a can lid on Kaz’s ribs and hit a Big Splash. Boston Crab by Park. Daniels cracked Park with a crutch to end the move. This is the most boring Monster’s Ball Match, ever. Kaz got Janice. Park rolled out of the ring.

Eric young finally came down to ringside to encourage his partner. Park asked for help. Young started to bust open Park but Bad Influence stopped him. Daniels then sent Eric into a ring post. Daniels took him into the ring. Park went in to aid his buddy. Park shoved Eric out of the way and took a cane shot to the skull. Blood Time! Flip the Switch, campers. Kaz and Daniels freaked out to see the blood. Park no0sold a kendo shot and chair shots. He punched a chair into Kaz’s face. Park got the kendo stick and whacked both guys. Corner Splash on Kaz into the Shock Treatment! Black Hole Slam on Daniels. 1-2-3.

Your Winner: Joseph Park
Impact Score: 1.25

Park stayed in Abyss mode. Eric wasn’t sure how to deal with Park. Park retrieved Janice. Park lifted Janice high.

The Knockouts were up next. Jeff Hardy was on the phone. Jeff said he thought this through and it was something that he Had to do. That didn’t sound good.

Another Magnus story video. This one centered on how he lost the Bound For Glory Series to A.J. Styles. Magnus was tired of being disappointed for coming so close. He was determined not to come in second. He then talked about beating Sting. Magnus said he knew who he needed to get to where he wanted to be.

Lei’d Tapa vs ODB

Gail cut a promo about Madison Rayne. Gail talked about being humiliated in a fluke situation. Gail said ODB had stuck her nose in Gail’s business, which made it Tapa’s business. She then called out ODB.

ODB secured her wedding ring and got ready to fight. The two went nose to nose. Shove by Tapa. ODB and Tapa then started throwing Forearm Shots. Tapa blocked a Belly to Belly Suplex. Tapa put ODB in the corner and rushed. ODB rolled out of the way and hit a series of Open Hand Slaps. Shoulder Tackle by ODB but Tapa didn’t go down. Tapa blocked a Fallaway Slam. Tapa threw ODB into the corner. Ax Handle by Tapa. She then threw ODB down, hard. She choked ODB with ODB’s headband.

Tapa lifted ODB but ODB escaped. ODB pushed Tapa into the corner and hit a big Splash. Big Boot to ODB’s face. Tapa pulled ODB into position and then went to the middle turnbuckle. Tapa missed a Legdrop. ODB began to smack Tapa with Open Hand Chops. Mid Ring Collision but neither one moved. ODB with a Dropkick. ODB with a Whip, to the corner. Corner Splash by Odb. Gail tripped ODB after throwing in the title belt. Tapa lifted ODB for the Amazon Cutter.

Your Winner: Lei’d Tapa
Impact Score: 1.75

Gail said this was a lesson for Madison Rayne.

In the back, Velvet Sky talked with her sweetie, Chris Sabin. Chris said next week would start a new year. Sky wanted to make their relationship stronger. Sabin blamed Sky for him losing the X-Title. Next week, he wanted her to do what he needed to get the title back from Austin Aries. Sabin kinda dumped Sky.

Sting stopped Hardy to try and figure out what was going on in Hardy’s mind. He needed Hardy completely focused on their match. Hardy nodded but seemed to be a million miles away.

Magnus said Dixie Carter was the one who always saw the potential in him. It was Dixie that invited him to join TNA. Magnus said he waited until Hardy spit in Dixie’s face to take his place as “Dixie’s Guy”. Magnus said his partnership with Dixie would last for years.

Jeff Hardy and Sting vs Ethan Carter III and RockStar Spud
Special Challenge Match

Dixie stopped the match to say that she was going to have coronation, next week, for Magnus. She also had a little bit of business to deal with. She said it was going to be a Handicap Match. She added the BroMans to the mix.

Ethan Carter III, Rockstar Spud, Robbie E and Jessie G vs Sting and Jeff Hardy
Handicap Tag Match

Sting stared at EC3.The two men stared but Ethan tagged out to Spud. Spud wanted no part of the match. Spud backed up into Sting and then freaked out. Tag to Jessie. Throw a move, will you? Collar and Elbow to the corner. Whip reversed by Sting into a Hip Toss. Knee Strikes by Jessie into a Suplex. Sting blew it off. There were several tags before Robbie got in. Clotheslines by Sting on the tag champs. Hardy took the tag. Hardy dropped Robbie and hit a Splash off the turnbuckles. Hardy got sent to the roeps but flipped Robbie to the outside. Ethan ended up Spearing Jessie. Poetry in Motion Flip Dive by Hardy, off Sting’s back.

Hardy was flipped over the ropes and ganged up on, on the floor. Hardy was tossed back in the ring. 2 count on the pin attempt. Impact went to break.

Jessie sent Hardy into the ropes. Kitchen Sink into a 2 count. Snap Powerslam by Jessie. 2 count. Tag to EC3. Snap Suplex by Carter. Carter and the others stomped away. Tag to Robbie. Stomp to the chest. Hardy began to fight back. Robbie with a Hammer Throw off a reversed Whip. Mugging, in the corner, on Hardy. Taz joked about Spud’s weird ring pants. Jessie caught Hardy in a Single Leg Crab. Hardy reached the ropes but he ref didn’t see it. Robbie rushed in and attacked Sting. 4-on- Stomp Down on Hardy. Hardy barely kicked out of the pin. Ethan with a Back Drop Suplex on Hardy. Ethan sent Hardy to the corner and did a Stinger Splash, which missed. Jawbreaker by Hardy. Ethan held Hardy’s ankle. Mule Kick and tag by Hardy. Sting went off on all four men. Spud jumped on Sting’s back. Sting ignored him and used him as a spinning battering ram. Stinger Splash on the BroMans. Ethan with a Roll UP, while holding the tights.

Your Winners: Ethan Carter III, RockStar Spud, Robbie E and Jessie G
Impact Score: 2.0

What a crappy match as a main event. Hardy was so obviously upset at the loss. Hardy got in the ring and had a microphone in hand. Hardy apologized to Sting for last week and for tonight. Hardy said everyone asked him why he wanted to get into the business. Hardy said it was because of Sting that he has come to be. Hardy said Sting and the fans didn’t deserve this. Hardy said Dixie has almost drained the heart out of him. Hardy got to feeling sorry for himself for losing to Magnus. Sting tried to talk to Hardy but he was in the middle of a Pity Party. Hardy said he wanted to stay and fight but the fight was all gone. Sting didn’t want to hear what Hardy was about to say. Jeff Hardy quit TNA! Jeff Jarrett, A.J. Styles and now Jeff Hardy? TNA is in a seriously bad place. Hardy hugged Sting after taking off his arm bands and shirt. Sting looked completely stunned. So was the crowd. Hardy left as TNA went to black.

Wow.

This will be my last TNA column of the year. I want to thank you all for joining me, week after week. I want to send out special thanks to three great people…Bill Apter, Big Ray and, of course, “Fearless Leader”. They have all been influential on my writings, this year, as in the past. I wish for them, as I wish for all you, a safe and Happy New Year. Come back and join me, next week, for the first TNA of 2014!

God Bless and, as always…

Peace

–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com
Twitter.com/jayshannonnv

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