WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE RAW

Posted October 29th, 2013 by jshannon

There is a new World Champion and a new WWE Champion. The Fallout from Hell in a Cell would rupture the stability of the WWE Universe.

The show opened with highlights from Hell in a Cell. Punk actually took out Paul Heyman, on top of the Hell in a Cell structure. Shawn Michaels took out Daniel Bryan, after Daniel Bryan attacked HHH. Shawn with Sweet Chin Music to his former student and Randy Orton won the title.

The announcers talked about the night’s card and events. The fans were allowed to vote for the stipulation in the C.M. Punk vs Ryback match. The options were: Street Fight, Falls Count Anywhere or Tables Match.

John Cena then came out to discuss winning the World title from Alberto Del Rio. Cena joked about gaining a few pounds (the title belt). Cena had the surgically-repaired elbow in a protective sleeve. The announcers talked about how everyone, including them, thought Cena was coming back too soon. Cena said he was used to the boos form the crowd. He asked the fans if they missed him. Quite a few actually did. Cena acknowledged that it was JBL (the Texas Blowhard) who pushed him with his comments about Cena rushing his return. Cena told JBL that he was wrong and then explained that “The Champ is Here!” Cena said he was back, on Raw, for good. Cena said he would also be on Smackdown, as well. Cena discussed the upcoming European tour. Cena admitted that his elbow wasn’t at 100%. Cena then began to talk about Randy Orton and the WWE title. He changed gears and threw out mad respect to Alberto Del Rio. Cena’s music was interrupted by the appearance of Damien Sandow. He had his briefcase, in hand.

Sandow reminded everyone that he was the “Uncrowned Champion”. Sandow said Cena wasn’t fooling him with claims that the tricep was fully healed. Sandow accused Cena of being afraid that Sandow would “Cash In”. Seriously? Sandow said he was going to Cash In but then changed his mind. Sandow attacked Cena with the briefcase and then pounded away. Sandow blasted the bad elbow, over and over, with the briefcase. Sandow then rammed the elbow into the ring post. Sandow threw Cena into the barricade and the ring steps. Sandow then put the left arm on the steps and cracked the elbow with a steel chair. Ouch! Sandow said his time was now…

DAMIEN SANDOW CASHES IN THE MONEY IN THE BANK CONTRACT!

Damien Sandow vs John Cena
World Title Match

The doctor was at ringside, just in case. Cena with a kick and punch with the right. Sandow with the Flying Arm Bar on Cena’s left arm. Sandow then threw Cena into the ring post. 2 count. Kneedrops and a Legdrop on the bad arm. 2 plus count. Keylock on the injured arm. Cena forced himself up and nailed the Belly to Belly Suplex. Arm Drag and Kneedrops by Sandow. Sandow twisted the bad wing around the top rope. Snap Suplex by Sandow for another 2 count. Sandow went back to the Keylock. Sandow pounded on the back and sent Cena to the ropes. Cena with a Back Body Drop. Raw went to break.

Sandow punched away on Cena. Cena tried to fight back but wasn’t getting anywhere until he hit the Flying Shoulder. The doctor has already tried to stop the match. If the doc does call the match, Sandow would become the World Champ. Big Boot into the Protobomb. Cena was in agony. Sandow blocked the Five Knuckle Shuffle and hit the Rolling Neckbreaker. 2 count, yet again. Hammer Throw by Sandow to sende Cena’s arm into the corner. Doctor Sampson watched the match, closely. Sandow reversed the whip into the Attitude Adjustment! Sandow rolled out to the floor as Sampson checked on Cena. Cena waived off the doctor. Cena went out and got Sandow. He forced Sandow back into the ring.

Cena went for the STF but couldn’t lock in the move. Termineux by Sandow. 1—2—Kickout. Sandow with the Full Nelson but Cena with a wicked Inverted Uranage Neckbreaker. Wow, a new move by Cena! Crippler Crossface by Sandow. Sandow rolled out of the match. Sandow escaped the AA and hit the You’re Welcome! Could be…might be…NO! Sandow put Cena on the top rope as the fans chanted “This is Awesome!”. Cena with a pair of Headbuttts, on the ropes. Cena wanted the Flying Crossbody but missed. Sandow wanted the Piledriver but Cena with the Attitude Adjustment. 1-2-3!

Your Winner: John Cena
Raw Ranking: 4.75 (out of a possible 5)

Sandow becomes the 2nd person to cash in and fail. The first was…John Cena.

The Shield was in the back. Dean Ambrose said he had to fight Big E Langston, again. The US Title was on the line, again. Seth said The Shield made a mistake by underestimating Langston, on Sunday. Roman had an odd look as Dean bragged about how great he was. Could there be the beginning of a crack in the rogue group?

Big E Langston vs Dean Ambrose
United States Title Match

Langston won the match, at hell in a Cell, by count out. He got this rematch because of that. Whip by Langston but Dean with the knees up. Dean pounded away and tried for a quick pin. Dean ran his forearm over Langston’s face. Funk Neckbreaker by Dean. 2 count. Dean with hard kicks to the face. Langston began to punch back but took a Kitchen Sink Knee to the ribs. Langston No Sold it and went berserk on Dean with various shots. Roman with the Low Bridge, drawing the Disqualification for his Brother in The Shield. It was then a 3-on-1 beatdown until the Usos showed up to equal the sides. Jimmy and Jey helped Langston clear the ring. Brad Maddox came out and set up a Six Man Tag Match.

Your Winner (by Disqualification): Big E Langston
Raw Ranking: 2.0

Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns vs Big E Langston and Jimmy and Jey Uso
Six Man Tag Team Match

Roman was choking Jimmy Uso as the show returned. Dean tagged in and stomped away. Crossface by Dean. Snap Suplex by Dena led to a tag by Seth. Seth stomped away on Jimmy. Jimmy tried to punch away but a Jumping Enziguri laid out Jimmy for a two count. Roman tagged back in and stomped on his cousin (yes, they are related through the Anoi’a/Fatu families). Dean tagged back in and blasted the Islander. Dean with the Running Dropkick as Jimmy was trapped in the ropes. Rear Chin Lock by Dean. Jimmy worked up to his feet and nailed a Jawbreaker. Jimmy with a Spinning Kick that dropped Dean on his tail.

Roman went for a Crossbody but got DDT’d into the middle of next week. Jey got the tag, as did Seth. Jey nailed Dean and then went to work on Seth. Uppercut Thrust and a Spinebuster put Seth in a bad way. Rikishi Run into the corner. Dean made the save. Langston took himself and Dean out. Seth put Jey on the top rope. Seth wanted the Superpplex but Jey blocked it. Front Face Drop, off the ropes. Jey flew off the ropes and landed on Seth’s knees. Jimmy protected his brother from a Double Suplex. Double team to take out Seth but Roman came back with a Double Spear on the twins.

Your Winners: The Shield
Raw Ranking: 3.25

Shawn Michaels came out to explain his actions. He asked Daniel Bryan to join him. Shawn was getting a smattering of boos from the crowd. After Daniel got in the ring, Shawn talked about how he reacted to seeing his best friend, HHH, attacked. Shawn talked about the long-standing friendship between the two. I am so sick of everyone giving Shawn all the credit for Daniel Bryan’s training. Shawn did start the training but the true glory and respect should be going to William Regal. “You Sold Out!” rang out. After Shawn’s long-winded explanation, he asked for forgiveness and a handshake. Daniel declined to shake Shawn’s hand. Shawn lost his cool and ordered Daniel to shake his hand. Daniel took the hand and placed Shawn in the Yes Lock! Shawn eventually tapped out. It took several refs to pull Daniel off Shawn.

Renee tried to interview Daniel, in the back. She backed off as The Wyatt Family jumped Daniel. They beat him silly. Luke and Eric threw Daniel to Bray Wyatt. Bray used Sister Abigail to send Daniel into a fence panel. Bray then ran a packing crate into Daniel. Bryan was seriously hurt.

The announcers were completely confused about what just happened.

Los Matadores (w/El Torito – in new black outfit) vs 3MB
2-on-3 Handicap Match

Los Matadores were in new Trajes de Luz (Suits of Light). Heath came out with a huge net to trap the little bull. Heath put the net in the corner. Jindar started the match. Head Scissors and Arm Drag sent Jindar flying. Tag to Drew. Drew took a Back Elbow but Jindar with an Elbow Smash. Double Slingshot Suplex on the Matador. Drew pounded away and stomped the masked man. Arm Bar by Drew. Drew tagged out to heath. Heath pounded away and hit a Snap Mare. Kneedrop by Heath. Heath missed a second Kneedrop. Tag on the Matadores side. Drew also got the tag. Drew got rocked by Flying moves. Drew accidentally nailed Jindar. Drew with a Running One-Legged Dropkick. Heath went to snag El Torito. Heath missed and El Torito went under the ring. Party with Hornswoggle Time? Heath looked under the ring and got a face full of Fire Extinguisher. Gore! Los Matadores with the Estocada!

Your Winners: Los Matadores
Raw Ranking: 2.5

After the match, Heath was trapped in the net and El Torito flew off the ropes to take down Heath Slater. Ole!

A.J. Lee and Tamina Snuka vs Brie and Nikki Bella

It was announced that Daniel Bryan had been rushed to a medical facility. Brie didn’t want to wrestle but was forced to by The Authority. Brie started against Lee. Lee with a kick and Faceplant. Lee then hit a Spin Kick to Brie’s face. Lee skipped and danced around. Brie began to fight back but Lee tagged out to Snuka. Tamina threw Brie off the middle ropes. 2 count. Rear Chin Lock by Tamina. Total Divas will return on November 10th, by the way. Brie tried to fight back but Tamina threw her down, hard. Brie laid out Tamina and tagged Nikki. Nikki with Clotheslines, Back Elbows and a Dropkick. Tamina blocked a Monkey Flip and dropped Nikki on the top rope. Nikki came back with a Thesz Press and punches. Nikki with a Double Boot. Tamina caught Nikki and swung her around, taking out Brie. Huge Samoan Drop by Tamina. Tamina dragged Nikki over and tagged A.J.. Lee put Nikki in the Black Widow. Nikki tapped out.

Your Winners: A.J. Lee and Tamina Snuka
Raw Ranking: 1.5

Kane was set to make his return…next.

Kane came back at Hell in a Cell and took out the Wyatt Family. He then Chokeslammed The Miz.

Kane vs The Miz

Miz limped to the ring. The two circled each other nad Miz started punching away. Uppercut by Kane. Kane with a Whip into a Big Boot. 2 count. Kane with another shot to the face of Miz. Kane with a Ship but Miz with a pair of kicks. Kane tried to Whip Miz but failed. Miz flew off the ropes…into a Chokeslam

Your Winner: Kane
Raw Ranking: 1.0

That was ridiculously quick. Kane took the microphone and called out Stephanie McMahon. She came to the stage. Kane talked about all the underhanded things that The Authority had done, recently. He then surprised everyone by offering his services to Stephanie and HHH. As he walked up the stage, Kane removed his mask and handed it to Stephanie. While we didn’t see his face, the unmasked version of the Big Red Monster is back. Stephanie held the mask aloft as a prize of conquest. Bizarre.

The Prime Time Players were in the Shop Zone to push all kinds of stuff. These little vignettes are kinda cute.

David Otunga (remember him?) came on to address Big Show’s Wrongful Termination Lawsuit. This lawsuit, theoretically, could cost the WWE millions. The McMahons might also lose control of the company, if this wasn’t settled.

C.M. Punk came out to talk with the fans. Punk was a bit bashed and battered but extremely happy. Punk took out Ryback, at Hell in a Cell, and then went to the top of the cage and abused Heyman with a cane and a Go To Sleep. Punk talked about finally getting to sleep like a baby, on Sunday night (after the PPV). Punk accomplished what he had promised…getting Paul Heyman. The crowd cheered at that. Punk felt that Heyman was history. Huge “C.M. Punk” chant rang out. Punk now had one thing left to do…take out Ryback. Punk really tore into Ryback. Punk thought it was great that the WWE Universe would get to decide Ryback’s fate. Punk promised that he would defeat Ryback, tonight.

Punk was still in the ring. Lawler made the announcement that the match would be…a Street Fight (59%)

C.M. Punk vs Ryback
Street Fight Rules

Ryback rushed Punk into the corner and hit repeated Shoulder Thrusts and Back Elbows. The crowd broke out with the “Goldberg” chant. Crossbody by Punk. La Bandera Clothesline by Punk. Punk checked on his ear, which may have been bleeding. Tope Con Hilo by Punk but Ryback caught him. Ryback threw Punk into the outside barricade. Ryback then pounded away. Ryback looked under the ring for something. He found a table. Ryback slid the table into the ring. He then got in and started to set it up. Punk came after Ryback with a kendo stick. Spinebuster by Ryback. Ryback stormed around and got ready for the Meat Hook Clothesline. Punk countered it into the Swinging Neckbreaker. 2 count. Punk got the table and put it in place. Punk wanted a Crescent Kick but Ryback caught the leg and threw Punk into the corner. Ryback set Punk on the top turnbuckle. Ryback wanted the Superplex but Punk wasn’t having any part of it. Double Chops sent Ryback down to the canvas. Punk flew but Ryback caught him. Crescent Kick put Ryback on the table. Punk went to the Penthouse. Savage Elbow! Anaconda Vise! Tap Out!

Your Winner: C.M. Punk
Raw Ranking: 3.0

After the match, The Wyatt Family arrived on the scene. Why? I’m sensing a build up to a classic Survivor Series match. Punk knelt next to the kendo stick. Bray took a seat in the rocker and blew out the lantern. Punk took the kendo stick and went after Harper and Roan. They used the number advantage. Harper with the Gator Roll. Rowan with a huge Headbutt. Harper Whipped Punk into a Big Boot by Rowan. Bray loved what he saw. He had his boys lift up Punk. Punk was busted open. Punk with a Headbutt to Bray. Harper with the Discus Clothesline. Bray then planted Punk with Sister Abigail. Bray said “The Devil Mad e Me Do It!” Even more bizarre.

The Real Americans (Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro) vs The Rhodes Brothers
Non-Title Match

I love the new Clockwork Orange mix on the Rhodes theme music. Goldust and Cesaro to open the match. Collar and Elbow but both break. Goldy with his Barking thing. Arm Drag by Goldy. Cesaro with a Kneelfit and tag to Swagger. Arm Drag by Goldy. “You Still Got It!” grew from the crowd. Cesaro tagged back in and Whipped Dust into the corner. Back Elbow dropped Cesaro. Tag to Cody. Snap Mare and Running Knee Strike by Cody. Antonio with a kick and European Uppercut. Cody began to fight back with kicks and punches. Antonio with a Rear Chin Lock but Cody fought back. Front Drop Suplex. Tag to Goldust.

Flying Bulldog by Goldy. Antonio got free and made the tag. Cody also tagged in. Springboard Dropkick and La Bandera Clothesline sent Swagger to the floor. Raw went to break.

Cody punched away but Jack dropped him. Belly to Belly by Swagger. Cesaro took the tag and hit the Gut Wrench Throw. Antonio pulled at Cody’s face and then nailed the European Uppercut. Tag to Swagger. Front Face Lock by Swagger. Swagger rushed Cody to the enemy corner. Antonio snapped Cody’s neck on the top rope. Swagger Bomb into the Leap Frog Stomp by Antonio. 2 count. Rear Chin Lock by Cesaro. Cody powered up and tried to reach his brother. Cody was sent high in the air and nailed with a European Uppercut. Goldust made the save. Cesaro lost his cool.

Cesaro with measured punches to Cody’s face. Cody finally fought back with his own punches. Cesaro with a European Uppercut. Cody sent Antonio to the outside with a High Knee. Swagger got the tag but so did Goldust. Running Clotheslines. Swagger reversed a Whip but took the Goldustin Uppercut, an Inverted Atomic Drop and Running Boot. Corner Mount Punches by Goldy. Swagger reversed a Whip but Goldust with the Snap Powerslam. Cody took out Cesaro with the Disaster Kick and a La Bandera Clothesline. Goldust with a Flying Crossbody off the top. Swagger lid free and cinched in the Patriot Lock. Goldy sent Swagger into the corner. Cesaro made the save. Goldy with a La Bandera on Cesaro. Swagger with the Chop Block and the Patriot Lock. Tap out by Goldust.

Your Winners: Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger
Raw Ranking: 3.0

Alberto Del Rio came out, in less than a happy mood. Del Rio called Cena a “P*nche C**ron”. I won’t translate, but it’s not nice. Del Rio said he was now determined to break John Cena’s arm and get back his World title. Del Rio said the fans knew he was the true World Champion.

The showed what Goldberg vs Undertaker looks like on WWE2K14. If I ever get a PS3, that’s one of the first on my list to get.

Fandango and Summer Rae came out. This was Summer Rae’s debut, as a wrestler. She sure got a heck of a challenger to face.

Summer Rae vs Natalya.

Great Khali and Hornswoggle were in Nattie’s corner. Summer caught Nattie’s leg but Nattie tripped Summer. Side Headlock by Summer Rae. Nattie dropped Summer and flipped over her. Go Behind by Nattie. Double Heel Tip into a Jackknife Cover. Nattie converted it into the Backslide. Summer ran Nattie, chest first, into the corner. They were locked in the Backslide Arm Lock, at the time. Summer choked Nattie with the boot. Snap Mare by Summer into a Sump Puller. Nattie broke the hold but Summer rolled back to almost pin Nattie. Summer danced and tried for a pin. 2 count. Summer with a Splash on Nattie’s leg. Summer with a modified Figure Four. Nattie with a hard slap. Summer slammed Nattie’s head into the canvas. Corner Rush and Knee Strikes by Nattie. Summer ran down Nattie and got a two. Rear Chin Lock by Summer. Summer with a Rear Chin Lock. Nattie with Elbows. Dropkick by Summer. 2 count. Summer danced for Fandango and got kissed. Horswoggle pulled Fandango off the apron. Fanny battled with the midget until Great Khali hit the Khali Khop. Summer screamed at Khali. Nattie came back and caught Summer in the Sharpshooter. Tap out.

Your Winner: Natalya
Raw Ranking: 2.5

All the stars were up on the apron. The Shield were serving as the guards of the ring. Triple H and Stephanie then strolled from the back. The Authority hugged before coming down to the ring. Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns followed their leaders into the ring. HHH said Vince came to him, a decade ago, and asked him who he thought the “Face of the WWE” would be. HHH said he mentored that person, through Evolution. HHH said he watched randy Orton do horrible things to the entire roster, including the McMahon Family. HHH said Randy Orton finally achieved the Face of…status that HHH had predicted so long ago. HHH then brought out Randy Orton.

Randy got in the ring and held the title belt high, from the turnbuckles. Randy and HHH hugged. Randy then hugged Stephanie. Whatever. Stephanie then took the stick and said Randy was everyone’s champion. Stephanie said Randy represented each and every person on the stage. She ordered the roster to show Orton the respect he deserved.

Randy took the microphone and said he was better than everyone else. Randy taunted the superstars on the stage. Randy said he was born a superstar. Randy told the superstars that he was their superior.

Big Show’s music went off and Show marched to the ring. He took out The Shield, with help from The Usos and the Rhodes Brothers. Show had a clear path to the ring. Show rushed into the ring and everyone scattered. JBL screamed that Show was doing something criminal by breaking the Restraining Order. Show didn’t care about getting arrested. He had friends to bail him out. Show said he was ready to bankrupt the WWE. Show said he had nothing left to lose. Randy cracked Big Show with the championship belt. HHH and Stephanie barked orders. Big Show with the Knockout Punch to leave the WWE Champ out cold. HHH looked petrified. HHH tore off his jacket and tie to fight he Giant One. HHH then thought better of his actions and got off the apron. “Let’s Go…Big Show!’ grew from the rabid crowd. HHH walked up near the apron but wouldn’t commit. Show slid out of the ring and walked up the ramp. The Authority looked beyond irate as Raw closed down for the night.

Peace
–Jay Shannon
WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com
Twitter.com/jayshannonnv

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