Crystal Ball: Hell in a Cell 2013
Jay Shannon draws upon all his predictive skills to determine the winners and losers of an upcoming major wrestling event.
The Cage is back. Hell in a Cell is starting to become a Halloween tradition. I preferred Halloween Havoc but that name has been relegated to the mists of wrestling history. Anyway, there are several top-notch matches on deck. I’m going to do my best to try and figure this one out.
Curtis Axel vs Big E. Langston
Intercontinental Championship Match
My first inclination as to have Curtis drop the belt to Langston. That could set off a mini-feud within the Heyman Family. I’ve thought it through (and got almost the whole article down) and have changed my mind. Curtis will somehow survive the challenge of the huge powerhouse…but we’ll see them both return, later in the night..
Predicted Winner: Curtis Axel
Predicted Ranking: 3.0 out of a possible 5
Los Matadores vs The Real Americans
I have a feeling that this match will either be really brutal or seriously silly. With Zeb bringing back his (former) signature bull whip, El Torito could be in for a rough night. Honestly, Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro are so much more superior, in the ring, than Diego and Fernando. The “new” tag team has some great moves, including their Estocada double team finish. Expect the Cesaro Swing to come into effect, possibly on El Torito. Since this match is likely being done to put the crowd in a good mood, I really expect Los Matadores to somehow take the win. The Real Americans are a much better team but sometimes in wrestling, talent gets put to the side to keep the fans happy.
Predicted Winners: Los Matadores
Predicted Ranking: 2.5
A.J. Lee vs Brie Bella
Divas Championship Match
Unlike TNA, I don’t think WWE is going to switch all the titles, this Sunday. Expect Tamina Snuka and Nikki Bella to both get involved. Brie is going to win this match, but it will be by disqualification. So Brie wins but Lee keeps the title.
Predicted Winner (by disqualification): Brie Bella
A.J. Lee keeps her belt as titles can’t change hands on a disqualification or count out.
Predicted Ranking: .75
The Rhodes Brothers (Goldust and Cody Rhodes) vs The Shield’s Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns vs Jimmy and Jey Uso
Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the Unified Tag Team Titles
I’m thinking the WWE are about to turn the Usos Heel. For that to happen, the Usos can’t win the title. What I think may well happen is Roman will Spear one of the Usos. One of the Rhodes boys will then take out Roman and pin the downed Uso. That will set up a Brothers vs Brothers battle for Survivor Series. I could even see then bring Rikishi and Dusty in to be in the corners of their respective kids.
Predicted Winners: Goldust and Cody Rhodes
Predicted Ranking: 3.0
Alberto Del Rio vs John Cena
World Title Match
I really think Cena is coming back way too soon. For some odd reason, I keep flashing back to the Bret Hart vs Yokozuna match from Wrestlemania IX, years ago. Yokozuna had defeated Bret after Mr. Fuji threw salt in Hart’s eyes. Hulk Hogan came out to check on Hart, who urged Hogan to accept Mr. Fuji’s challenge to face the new champion. Hogan ended up winning the title. With Damien Sandow being moved towards a full Face Turn, I think this could be the absolute perfect vehicle to make Sandow the “Good Guy”. The end of the match finds Del Rio placing Cena in the Cross Armbreaker. Del Rio draws the Disqualification when he refuses to release the hold. Damien rushes down to aid Cena. Del Rio gets into a shoving match with Sandow. Cena catches Del Rio with the Attitude Adjustment, despite the injured arm. He then urges Damien to “Cash In”.
1. by Disqualification: John Cena
2. your New World Champion, Damien Sandow
Predicted Ranking: 3.75
C.M. Punk vs Paul Heyman and Ryback
Handicap Hell in a Cell Match
You just know that poor Punk isn’t going to get to beat the stuffing out of Heyman, just yet. Punk will get to really beat the stuffing out of Ryback. Punk will be able to hit the GTS on Ryback and then start after The Walrus. I expect the return of Brock Lesnar or the addition of someone else to the Heyman camp. I could see the possibility of Big E. Langston taking Brock’s spot in the Heyman Family. The way to make that work would be to have Axel come down and try to get into the Hell in a Cell structure. Langston will come out, looking to stop Axel. Langston will shock everyone by using his incredible power to rip the door open. Punk will then get annihilated by Axel and Langston. This will be the set-up for the Gauntlet Match at Survivor Series that I truly expect to happen.
Predicted Winners: Ryback and Paul Heyman
Predicted Ranking: 3.5
Randy Orton vs Daniel Bryan
Special Guest Referee: Shawn Michaels
WWE Championship Match, inside Hell in a Cell
This isn’t the final chapter in this feud. Far from it. Shawn Michaels will be the key player in this one. If this was just a standard Hell in a Cell, Daniel would take the win in this one. Shawn throws a serious monkey wrench into trying to predict this one. Does Shawn choose his long time best friend and make things happen for Randy Orton? Or does he show support for his prize student (even though William Regal was the man who REALLY trained him the most)? I’ve talked this one over with several of my good friends and one interesting idea came to the surface. To make Survivor Series really interesting, let Shawn Michaels call it straight down the middle and Daniel Bryan wins. HHH gets all grumpy about his best friend not doing “the right thing”. That could lead to the rematch at Survivor Series. HHH presents Randy Orton and Shawn seconds Daniel Bryan. Maybe it’s because I’m not a big Randy Orton fan or maybe it’s because I can see beyond the end of the night, but I really think Daniel Bryan is taking this one.
Predicted Winner (and New WWE Champ): Daniel Bryan
Predicted Ranking: 4.5
The WWE really can’t afford to go on auto-pilot for this one. This PPV will begin the ball rolling for the next 3 Super Shows (Survivor Series, Royal Rumble and then Wrestlemania). After Money in the Bank, I can only hope that someone doesn’t get seriously hurt in these matches. The WWE really can’t afford any major injuries going into the Big Season.