Posted August 20th, 2013 by jshannon

SummerSlam 2013 was a throwback to the great days of the late 80s/early 90s. I am humbled by the fact that my predictions were almost completely wrong. I totally blew it on all the big matches. The fallout from the Summer Classic is going to be Earth shattering.

Welcome to the home of the Magic Kingdom, Anaheim, California. The show started with a highlight reel. C.M. Punk took on Brock Lesnar in a No-DQ match. Brock managed to survive, after interference by Paul Heyman. Brock hit an F5, leaving Punk on a steel chair. Raw then looked at Daniel Bryan ending John Cena’s WWE title run. Daniel’s title reign would only last seconds, as HHH attacked Bryan and connected with the Pedigree. It was a gimme win for The Viper.

John Cena’s music went off and so did the angry crowd. Cena joked with the cameraman about how much he was loved in Anaheim. Funny, since Cena got his wrestling start in the area. Cena knew the crowd was rowdy and he was also disgusted by what happened at SummerSlam. Huge “Cena Sucks!” chant broke out and Cena sarcastically acknowledged it. Cena gave respect to Daniel Bryan for “Earning” the WWE title. Cena thanked Daniel for bringing out the best in him. Cena said WWE Superstars should be evaluated by their abilities, not their appearance. Cena explained that he was told not to compete. Cena showed off his disfigured elbow. Cena said he had a torn tricep in the elbow. Cena refused to allow the WWE Brass to cancel his match. Cena said Daniel beat him, fair and square.

Cena then moved on to talk about how disgusted he was at the actions of Triple H and Randy Orton. However, Cena could not postpone the surgery any longer. Cena said he would be gone between 4 to 6 months. Cena wanted to introduce someone that had earned his respect and earned the right to be called champion. Cena then brought out Daniel Bryan. Bryan got a deafening pop from the locals. Michael Cole said the locker room were all disgusted at what happened to Daniel. “:Yes!” rose from the vocal crowd. That led to the sing-song “Daniel Bryan” chant. Before Daniel could say anything, Stephanie McMahon walked from the back.

Steph apologized for what happened. Steph said Daniel did deserve the WWE title. Steph tried to make excuses for HHH, saying he was doing what was best for business. “No!” swelled like a wave from the audience. Daniel said the fans did not agree about what was best from business. Daniel couldn’t believe HHH would be such a corporate sell out. “When you lie down with trash, sooner or later, you start to stink” was Daniel’s quote about HHH. Steph understood that Daniel was upset so she would let the comment slide. Daniel mocked her for it. Daniel challenged Stephanie to fire him. Daniel said he was going to get his money’s worth. Daniel said either with HHH or Orton, he would give the WWE a “REAL REASON” to fire him. Steph tried to placate Daniel, calling him part of the fabric of the company. She told Daniel that he couldn’t be the “face” of the company. Steph said Daniel was a “B+, solid B+”. Daniel hinted at calling Stephanie a “B*tch”, which the crowd definitely called her. Daniel said he would not be relegated to a B+ spot. He was certain he
could be the WWE Champ. Daniel slapped the microphone out of Daniel’s hand. She got another microphone and warned him to calm down. Stephanie called for security to escort Daniel out of the building. Another huge “Daniel Bryan” chant went off. Daniel got out of the ring and security circled him. That led to another round of “No” chants. Daniel got the chant going into overdrive, just before walking to the back.

Damien Sandow vs Cody Rhodes

Cody has ditched his mustache, finally. Cody beat Damien at SummerSlam. Kneelifts by Sandow to open the battle. The ref forced Damien back. Hell Trip by Cody but Damien came back with more Knee Strikes. Cody with an Elbow Drop off the turnbuckles. Front Drop Suplex by Cody. Open Hand Slap and punch by Cody. Damien flipped Cody onto the apron. Cody ran Damien into the turnbuckle and then nailed a Springboard Missile Dropkick. La Bandera Clothesline by Cody. On the floor, Cody with a Suplex that had Damien shrieking in agony. They got back in the ring and Cody got a 2. Cody twisted Damien’s arm but Damien fought free. Cody ended up on the floor.

Damien came out and blasted Cody. Damien pitched Rhodes back into the ring and connected with the Snap Suplex. Cody rolled to the apron and Shouldered Cody. Rhodes went up the ropes but got pulled off. Raw took a break as Damien continued to punish Rhodes.

Cody kicked out of a pin attempt. Rear Chin Lock by Damien but Cody got to his feet and punched away. Kitchen Sink by Damien. Side Russian Leg Sweep into the Elbow of Distain. 1-2-kick out. Damien rubbed Cody’s face into the canvas. Cody and Damien fought on the ropes. Wicked Moonsault by Cody. JBL joked that Cody didn’t learn that from his daddy (the rather rotund Dusty Rhodes). Damien reversed a Whip but got nailed with a GolDustin Uppercut. Damien blocked the CrossRhodes and hit the Inverted Slop Drop for two. Disaster Kick by Cody but Damien rolled to the outside. Damien snapped Cody’s neck over the top rope. Damien with a Whip. Float Over Twisting Sunset Flip to roll up Damien for the 3 count.

Your Winner: Cody Rhodes
Raw Ranking: 3.0 out of a possible 5

Brad Maddox had something to share with the fans. He sent it to comments made by Dolph Ziggler. Brad put Dolph in a 3-on-1 Handicap Match against The Shield.

Paul Heyman walked backstage, his arm in a sling.

The Wounded Walrus stood in center ring. Heyman’s arm was injured at SummerSlam. Heyman crowed about how Brock beat C.M. Punk. Heyman said Punk flew away from the nest to prove himself. Heyman admitted that Punk gave Brock all he could handle. Paul said it was time end the Family Feud. Paul said he was much more of a father figure that the guy in Chicago that helped to sire him. Paul said Brock was Punk’s big brother. Paul forgave Punk for his bad behavior. Paul said he would take back Punk, following a simple apology. Paul was certain he could take Punk to even higher heights. Paul said he still loved Punk (creepy). Paul said he would take Punk to the main event of Wrestlemania, as well as helping him win back the WWE Title. Paul was ready to make them the Best in the World. JBL said Paul just did a Noble Gesture.

In the back, the Funakdactyls talked with the Bellas. The Bellas told the Funkadactyls to represent Total Divas in their match.

The Funkadactyls (Naomi and Cameron) vs Layla and A.J. Lee (The Sycho Sisters)

The heels jumped Naomi and Cameron, before the bell. Lee kicked Naomi and slammed Naomi’s face into the canvas. Funk Neckbreaker by the Divas champ. Rear Chin Lock by Lee. Naomi blasted away but a Crescent Kick laid out Naomi. Lee is getting so much better. Kudos to her trainer, Jay Lethal. Lee choked Naomi on the middle ropes. Sleeper by Lee while riding Naomi’s back. Naomi worked her way to the corner but Lee stopped her short. Jumping Enziguri by Naomi. Layla with the tag. Layla Dropkicked Cameron off the apron. Naomi took advantage of the situation and rolled up Layla for the pin.

Your Winners; Naomi and Cameron
Raw Ranking: 1.0

Dolph Ziggler vs The Shield (Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose)
3-on-1 Handicap Match

JBL really trash talked Dolph for Ziggler’s comments against HHH. Dean and Dolph hooked up and Dean tried to pull Dolph into the enemy corner. Collar and Elbow and Dean pushed Dolph towards the Shield corner. Dolph got free and stepped back. Go Behind into an amateur takedown by the Show Off. Seth tagged in and Dolph opened up on the tag champ. Dolph hammered away on Seth but Seth made it to Roman. Clothesline by Roman, after the tag in. Roman punched Dolph in the face and then choked Dolph on the bottom rope. Dean tagged back in and stomped away on Dolph. Elbow Drop by Dean for a two. Short Arm Clothesline and tag to Seth. Seth kicked the ribs of Ziggler. Michael Cole tire to goad JBL into commenting on HHH’s actions. Dean stomped on Dolph’s stomach. Modified Indian Death Lock by Dean.

Dolph bit Dean’s hand to get free. Sleeper by Dolph. Push Off by Dean into his own Sleeper. Jawbreaker by Dolph to escape. Roman with the tag. Roman slowly stalked Dolph but took a Dropkick to the chest. Funk Neckbreaker by Dolph. Famouser but Dean made the save. Wicked DDT but Seth prevented the 3 count. Seth was thrown out and hurt his knee. Dolph went for a Corner Splash but Roman nailed The Spear! In mid-air!

Your Winners: The Shield
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Sword of Justice Triple Powerbomb on Dolph.

Sin Cara vs Alberto Del Rio
Non-Title Match

Del Rio now puts little Mexican flags in the corners. Del Rio blasted away on Sin Cara as the bell sounded. Sin Bounced off the ropes and Arm Dragged Del Rio to the outside. Sin Cara went for a Tope Suicide and hurt his wrist when he struck Del Rio in the head. The doctor called off the match. Del Rio kept trying to fight but the ref got physical and shoved Del Rio back. The doctor called off the match as Del Rio may well have a broken left wrist.

Your Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Raw Ranking: Match Stopped, no Ranking

EDITOR’S NOTE: On Tuesday, Dr. Sampson of the WWE made a statement that what happened was that Sin Cara dislocated one of his fingers when he collided with Del Rio. The fingers was reset, in the ring, but he (Dr. Sampson) felt it was unwise to continue and ordered X-Rays of the injured hand.

Del Rio got on the microphone and started rambling about how he was a role model for the Latino community. He said there was no one that could better represent the Latinos than him. Now, I expected this to be the opening for the return of Rey Mysterio…but no. Instead, Ricardo Rodriguez came out and said he had a new person to represent…Rob Van Dam! Why in the Hell would WWE Creative stick Ricardo with RVD? Ricardo just simply brings nothing to the table. Nothing against Ricardo, personally, but RVD doesn’t need Ricardo. This won’t do a thing for RVD.

RVD tore into Del Rio. Del Rio rolled out of the ring and retreated, just before Rob could nail the Five Star Frog Splash. Ricardo joined RVD in doing the thumb thing.

The Real Americans (Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro) vs The Prime Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young)

Zeb did his typical hate monger rant. Yawn. Zeb got his shots in on Disneyland (even though he didn’t call it by name). Shut him the Hell up, already. Quite a few fans chanted the “We The People” thing.

Cesaro tore into Darren but Darren with a Hip Toss after a reversed Whip. Tag to Swagger. Hip Toss by Darren. Tag to Titus. Double Shoulder Block by Titus. Titus stomped Swagger, in the corner. Double Boots by Swagger into a tag. Knee Strikes by Cesaro. Gut Wrench Throw by Cesaro. European Uppercut by Cesaro. Tag to Swagger. Jack with Knee Strikes and punches. Cesaro with the sneak attack, as the ref is distracted. Titus fought out of the enemy corner. Swagger attacked Titus from behind as Titus went after Cesaro. Step Over Toe Hold by Swagger. Titus kicked free with the other leg. Scoop Slam by Swagger into the Swagger Bomb. Cesaro with the Leap Frog Double Stomp. 2 count.

Neck Wrench by Cesaro. Swagger with a tag and Knee Strikes and Shoulder Thrusts. Titus reversed a Whip and nailed a Spinebuster. Darren and Cesaro with tags. Double Underhook Throw by Darren. Darren knocked Swagger off the ropes and caught Cesaro with the Bridging Back Suplex. Titus took out Swagger. Gut Check by Darren.

Your Winners: The Prime Time Players
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Renee chatted with Big Show about the rumors that Show and Mark Henry were going to tem to go after the tag belts. Show confirmed the rumor but they were interrupted by Brad Maddox. Brad brought up Big Show’s negative comments about the McMahon family. Brad put Big Show in a Handicap Match against The Shield. All 3 members of The Shield would be in the ring, at the same time. Big Show wondered if Brad really wanted to do that…to The Shield.

Zack Ryder and Justin Gabriel talked with a rep from Foot Locker. The WWE and Foot Locker are doing a sweepstakes thing. Fandango came in and wanted to know if he could dance in the shoes. The guy said yes and Fanny and Summer Rae cha-cha’d. Fandango took a wild pair of the shoes and left.

The announcers discussed SummerSlam, yet again. They sent it to the same footage that opened the show.

Ryback wa in the locker room, pushing people around. He told everyone to get out and then told one guy to stay. Ryback kept pushing the guy around. What a jerk. These segments are boring as Hell. There was a Goldberg chant. Ryback slapped the kid when he didn’t want to turn on the water and drench the contents of his duffel bag. By God, I might get my behind kicked but I wouldn’t put up with his crap.

Big Show vs Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns
3-on-1 Handicap Match

All 3 members of The Shield get to beat on Big Show, at the same time. Yeah, that’s freakin’ fair. Show did pretty good, at first, at going off on The Shield. Show dumped Roman, first. He then took turns with impact-filled moves on Dean and then Seth. Show pitched Dean out of the ring and Headbutted Seth. Show then dumped Seth, who clutched his knee. Show with a Spear on Roman. Dean pulled Roman back out of the ring. The three members were trying to regroup and plan a new strategy. Dean and Seth kept Show going back and forth. Dean with a Sleeper that wasn’t very effective. Show with a Side Slam. Headbutt to Seth. Show stood on Seth’s lower back. Show threw Seth back over the top rope. Show with repeated Clotheslines. Show called for the Chokeslam. Seth clipped Show’s knee. Dean Dropkicked Show in the chest. Seth with the Flying Knee off the top rope for a 2 count. Double Suplex by Show to Seth and Dean. Seth really seems to have hurt his knee. Roman with The Spear on an unsuspecting Big Show. Dean directed traffic and then connected with the Sword of Justice Triple Powerbomb. All 3 men covered Big Show.

Your Winners: The Shield
Raw Ranking: 2.5

C. M. Punk came out to address Paul Hjeyman’s comments from earlier. He was limping, badly. The announcers argued about Heyman’s interference in The Beast vs The Best match. Punk said he was a little confused on what to say or do Punk went off a fan that booed him. Punk wanted to fight and said if the fan had the B*lls to fight him, bring it on. I believe the guy is a local wrestler in the Southern California on the indy circuit. Punk told Paul to come on out and get his apology…maybe.

Paul walked out with Curtis Axel. Paul told Curtis to stay with him. Punk explained that the doctors told him not to compete. Punk knew he got his *ss kicked but he was still standing. Punk said he was sorry…that he took his eyes of Brock Lesnar. He was sorry that he didn’t take Paul’s arm off or break Paul’s face. Punk was determined to take Paul’s arm, some time in the future. Punk was certain that he would get Paul. Punk said he was ready for a fight.

Paul said he should apologize to Punk. He was sorry for what was about to happen to Punk from Curtis Axel. Paul told Axel to go to the back and tape up his hands. Paul also took shots at “The Fat Guy” in the front row. Paul said Curtis would be sent down to the ring, after the commercial break, to finish the job that Brock started at SummerSlam.

Punk was still in the ring and Axel came out, itching for a fight. Punk was sitting in a steel chair, mid-ring. Axel was all taped up. This was not an official match. Paul stayed back as Axel went to the ring.

Punk grinned as he stared at Axel. Punk exploded on Axel with Knee Strikes and a slam of the face into the chair. Punk waffled Axel with the chair. Axel jumped Punk, on the floor, and pounded away. Axel ran Punk into the ring apron. Punk shook it off and kept fighting. Axel whipped Punk into the barricade. Paul had oozed down to the ring to watch the carnage. Axel with measured punches. Punk dumped Axel over the bullpen wall. Punk then went after Paul. Punk tore up Paul’s arm with the Anaconda Vise. Punk flew into the Bullpen and blasted Axel. Punk then cracked Axel with the ring bell, possibly cracking a rib in the process. They got back in the ring and Punk struck his pose to call for Go To Sleep. Axel fought out and Chop Blocked the bad leg. Punk stumbled and Axel focused on the leg. Step Over Leg Drop by Axel. Axel drove the steel chair into the back of Punk’s knee. Axel with the Spinning Neckbreaker. Axel got the chair and placed it around Punk’s hurt ankle. Paul said Punk broke his heart so he wanted Axel to break Punk’s leg. Punk dodged the leap from Axel. Punk threw the chair into Axel and then cracked him with it in the ribs and across the back. Axel rolled outside but Punk went after him. Punk threw Axel into the steps, multiple times. Punk with a variation of the Go To Sleep, dropping Axel onto the ring steps. Curtis Axel was beyond knocked out. The Second City Saint then stared daggers at his former friend and mentor. Punk’s music sounded as Heyman inched his way back up the ramp.

R-Truth vs Bray Wyatt

The Wyatts have the 2nd best entrance of all time, just behind the Undertaker’s. The announcers talked about how the Wyatts used an asbestos blanket to smother part of the fire in the Ring of Fire match to get in and help their leader. Kane was annihilated and then dragged from the building.

Harper and Rowan were with their Fearless Leader. Bray ripped into Truth but Truth with hard Forearms. Bray whipped Truth into the corner but Truth with the Float Over and Ax Kick. Harper got on the apron but got knocked down. Bray launched himself into Truth. He called himself “The New Face of Fear”. Bray hung upside down, in the corner, and told Truth to get up. Huge Running Clothesline which led to the Long Kiss Goodbye.

Your Winner: Bray Wyatt
Raw Ranking: 1.5

A video ran for a new masked tag team that are on their way to the WWE. Los Matadores apparently called Senor Merced Solis and raided his closet for matching Traje de Luz outfits. By the way, Los Matadores translated to The Killers (of the Bull). I have to wonder if Los Matadores just might be Primo and Epico, repackaged. We haven’t seen the duo in quite some time.

3MB vs The Usos

It was Heath and Jindar, this time around. Heath and Jey to start. The announcers brought up Jimmy Hart and the Gentrys. Jimmy is a great guy and is very proud of his musical career. Heath with a Go Behind. Jey with an Arm Drag and tag to Jimmy. Double team on Heath. 1 count only. Heath reversed a Whip but Jimmy took Heath down, several times. Heath rolled to the outside. Drew McIntyre got in a cheap shot. Jindar took the tag and stomped on Jimmy. Jindar used the knee to choke Jimmy. Rolling Funk Neckbreaker on Jimmy. Jindar with a pair of Knee Drops and the Rear Chin Lock.

Jimy tried to fight out but Jindar threw him down, by the head. Tag to Heath. Leg Lariat by the rock star. Heath stomped away. Heath showed his boxing experience as he laid out Jimmy with a straight punch. Scoop Slam avoided by Jimmy. 360 Enziguri by Jimmy. Jey and Jindar got tags. Jey blasted Jindar with a Flying Forearm. Rikishi Run into the corner. Heath barely made the save. Jimmy threw Heath out. Jey made a tag as he went past on the Suicide Dive. Jimmy with the Superfly Splash to take the win.

Your Winners: Jimmy and Jey Uso
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Raw looked back at Fandango interrupting Miz at SummerSlam. Miz laid out Fandango with a single punch.

The Miz vs Wade Barrett

Lawler joked about Barrett’s large ears. Wade kicked Miz and clamped on a Side Headlock. Miz with the Push Off but Wade with a Shoulder Tackle. Universal into a Flapjack. Full Body Clothesline by Miz. Wade with a Big Boot. Wade choked Miz on the middle rope. Knee Strikes by Wade. Big Boot sent Miz to the floor. Wade with a Cactus Jack Elbow Drop off the apron. Wade slid Miz back in and got a two count. Rear Chin Lock by Wade. Iz worked up to his feet and blasted Wade’s ribs. Miz slid under and almost pinned Wade. Back Wlbow by Wade. Wade worked over Miz’s ribs. Snap Mare into a pin attempt by wade. When he didn’t get the three, Wade went back to the Rear Chin Lock. The fans were cheering Wade.

Miz Elbowed and Jawbreakered free. Wade reversed a Whip but Flying Forearm by Miz. Million Dollar Kneelift by Miz. Miz kicked Wade in the hamstring, twice, and then Dropkicked it. Wade fought out of the Figure Four. Corner Assault by Wade but Miz fought back. Sunset Flip into the Figure Four. Just as Miz locked in the move, Fandango with the Perfect 10 Legdrop off the top rope!

Your Winner (by Disqualification): Miz
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Brad Maddox ran into Stephanie and told her that Daniel Bryan got back in the building. Stephanie was cool with it and she went into her dad’s office to chat. Break time.

The Randy Orton Coronation.

The McMahons, including Triple H, were all in the ring. The Superstars were forced to come out and stand on the stage. The only three not on the stage were Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose (The Shield), who were apparently working security. Vince said it was a wonderful night. Vince said we could all be proud of Randy Orton. Vince was also proud of his son-in-law, who did the right thing. Vince and HHH hugged. I may just un-eat my lunch. HHH then said everyone expected him to explain his actions. HHH said it makes him laugh at how short-sighted everyone is. HHH said he did what he did to ensure the future of the business for the fans, the WWE Superstars and for his family. HHH threw out shout-outs to Jess and Vince McMahon, Sr.. HHH wanted to make sure that the WWE would continue to exist in everyone’s future. HHH said he felt Daniel Bryan was a friend and he appreciated the “little technician”. HHH said Daniel did deserve to win the title. HHH just had a problem with Daniel being the “Face of the WWE”. HHH said the fans deserved better than Daniel Bryan. HHH said the fans deserved a complete A+ package. Daniel Bryan, in the McMahons’ opinion, was a B+. HHH understood that Daniel had a personal problem with all this. HHH got seriously long-winded with a seriously boring rant. Get on with it, will ya?

HHH then said he had no love loss with Randy Orton but HHH buried his feeling to do the “right thing”. HHH was offended that Daniel talked about having a personal problem. HHH accused Daniel of being selfish. HHH said Daniel should do what is right for business. “Daniel Bryan” rang out from the crowd. HHH tried to over shout the crowd, but somewhat failed. He brought out “The Viper”, Randy Orton.

The Superstars parted like the Red Sea as Orton walked from the back. Orton swaggered to the ring and joined the McMahon family. Randy shook hands with everyone in the ring, except Staphanie. She hugged him. Randy addressed the crowd, after a pregnant pause. “I told you so” were his first comments. He reminded everyone that he told them that they would not see it coming. Randy was beginning his 10th run as champion. Randy thanked HHH for his help at SummerSlam. He said he owed it all to HHH. Orton then told the fans that they should stand up and show respect to HHH. Whatever.

HHH took back the stick and explained that he knew that Daniel was in the building. He asked Daniel to come to the ring and get it all off his chest. Daniel didn’t come out, at first. I noticed a sign in the crowd that had the symbol of the Polish flag on it. I want to send a special hello to my friends in Poland.

HHH told the stars that no one was to touch Daniel Bryan. HHH had Daniel’s music played. Daniel came from the side entrance, avoiding the guys (and girls) on the stage. As he approached the ring, The Shield attacked Daniel. No one came down to help Daniel. Daniel did his best to fight back. Dean kept Daniel out of the ring. Daniel laid out Seth with a kick and Hip Tossed Dean. Daniel seemed to have a clear path. However, Roman nailed a Spear to layout Daniel. The other two joined Roman for a Triple Team Beatdown. HHH kept The Shield from hitting the Sword of Justice Triple Powerbomb. HHH told Daniel to come into the ring. As Daniel started to get into the ring, Randy nailed an RKO. The new champ and the McMahons stood over the fallen Daniel Bryan. This feud is going to be brutal.

Fade out


–Jay Shannon

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