WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ WWE RAW

Posted May 14th, 2013 by jshannon

A few final pieces of the Extreme Rules PPV were put into place. One of the main events got a major change…

Tonight’s show was from Tulsa, Oklahoma. My wonderful Aunt MaryLouise and Uncle Ben lived there for many years.

Jerry Lawler was in the ring for the (sigh) Dance Off. He brought out Fandango with Summer Rae. Chris Jericho then came out, with Edyta from Dancing with the Stars. Summer faked an ankle injury. As Edyta and Jericho checked on her, Fandango attacked Jericho.

Raw Ranking: .25 (Only got that high of a Rankng because of the girls)

Zack Ryder vs Ryback

The Finish:

There was a loud “Goldberg” chant going on. Ryder gave minimal effort against Big Hungry. Ryback destroyed Ryder with the Shell Shocked.

Your Winner: Ryback
Raw Ranking: 1.0

A video package ran about HHH and Brock Lesnar.

Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay and Sweet T) vs The Prime Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young:

The Finish:

Clay took it to both PTP members until Young drove the hair pick into Clay’s throat. Titus then took the win with a quick Roll Up.

Your Winners: Titus O’Neil and Darren Young
Raw Ranking: 2.0

Raw showed the footage of Dolph Ziggler getting kicked in the head. He has a concussion and will not be able to participate at Extreme Rules. Teddy Long (standing in for Booker T) made a huge match for Extreme Rules:

Jack Swagger vs Alberto Del Rio
“I Quit” Match to determine the Number One Contender.

Teddy also said Big E Langston would fight, later in the night. The fans got to choose if it would be Jack Swagger or Alberto Del Rio.

Kofi Kingston vs Damien Sandow
Non-Title Match

The Finish:

This was a pretty even match. Damien seemed well on the way to taking the victory after a wicked Flying Spinning Neckbreaker. Suddenly, Kofi came out of left field with Trouble in Paradise to score the win.

Your Winner: Kofi Kingston
Raw Ranking: 3.0

Raw flashed back to 2004 to show the Texas Bullrope Match between Eddie Guerrero and JBL. Josh Mathews then interviewed Mark Henry regarding the upcoming match. Mark beat up the announcer/interviewer. Mark then yelled about Sheamus. Sheamus came out and said he had a present for Mark. Sheamus went under the ring and brought out his own leather strap (ok, I know they are calling it a Bullrope Match but I’ve used “Bull Ropes” while training my horses and that wasn’t a Bull Rope). Sheamus strapped Mark like a government mule.

Antonio Cesaro vs Randy Orton

The Finish:

Another decent back and forth match. Cesaro blocked the Rope Assisted DDT and went after The Viper. Orton surprised Cesaro with the RKO.

Your Winner: Randy Orton
Raw Ranking: 3.0

The Miz vs Heath Slater (w/ Drew and Jindar in his corner)

The Finish:

Welcome Back, Miz. Miz has been away doing more film work.

Miz had to fight off all three members of 3MB, during the battle. Miz eventually nailed a Dropkick to Heath’s knee. Miz then slapped on the Figure Four and it was all over but the crying.

Your Winner: The Miz
Raw Ranking: 2.75

Another promo for the Susan G. Komen Foundation ran. That is a great charity that I have had the honor of working with, in the past.

Daniel Bryan, Kane and John Cena vs Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose
Six Man Elimination Match

The Eliminations and the Finish:

Kane was first to be eliminated as he got himself disqualified for being too brutal. That sucked. Daniel Bryan was then eliminated after Dean caught Daniel with the Cravat Cutter (modified Inverted Slop Drop…kinda). In quick order, Cena took out Seth with the Attitude Adjustment. Almost immediately, the ref disqualified Roman Reigns for pushing him. That left Dean and Cena to battle. Cena trapped Dean in the STF. Just before Dean was going to tap out, Seth and Roman rushed back in and drew the disqualification loss for The Shield. So, technically, The Shield has lost their first match…by beating themselves.

Your Winners: John Cena, Daniel Bryan and Kane
Raw Ranking: 3.5

After the match, The Shield continued to beat down on Cena. When they finally left the ring, Ryback stomped down to stand over the fallen Cena. Ryback went to the outside and got a steel chair. He cracked the injured ankle of Cena and then left. Following the break, Matt Striker interviewed Ryback. Big Hungry said he spent the last year playing by the WWE Universe’s Rules. Now, he was going to only play by…Ryback Rules. Whatever.

Big E Langston vs Jack Swagger

The fans voted for Langston to battle Swagger. Personally, I chose Del Rio.

The Finish:

Langston and Swagger battled out on the floor. Langston went for a Splash but Swagger moved. Langston flipped over the barricade and ended up in the crowd. Swagger slid back in the ring just before the ref reached the 10 count. Langston was counted out. Crappy finish to what should have been a much better match.

Your Winner (by Count Out): Jack Swagger
Raw Ranking: 2.0

Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez came down, after the match. Del Rio went after Swagger but fell victim to the Patriot Lock (Ankle Lock). Ricardo blasted Swagger with the little bucket that he carries. That let Del Rio apply the Cross Armbreaker. Langston came back in and just destroyed Del Rio. As Langston turned to annihilate Swagger, Del Rio had a miraculous recovery and rocked Big E with an Enziguri. Swagger tried to attack but Del Rio escaped and hit a La Bandera Clothesline to send Swagger out to the floor. Break time.

Natalya vs A.J. Lee

The Finish:

This match was an insult to the fans and the Hart Family. Nattie is so much better than Lee. After a brief fight, on the floor, Nattie brought A.J. back into the ring. Nattie went for a Back Breaker but A.J. reversed it into a Octopus Clutch and Nattie had to tap out.

Your Winner (by Submission): A.J. Lee
Raw Ranking: .75

Jerry Lawler updated the crowd that Jim Ross was off hunting, somewhere, which is why he wasn’t at the Oklahoma Show. From there, Matt Striker asked Chris Jericho if he was embarrassed by the Dance Off Debacle that opened the show. Jericho said he has learned who Fandango is (Johnny Curtis) and now it is time for Fanny to learn just who Chris Jericho is. Jericho is going to teach Fandango to Dance…Y2J style.

The Steel Cage was lowered around the ring. After a quick break, Triple H comes out and starts…rambling. HHH cut one of the longest and most boring promos that I’ve heard in quite some time. He bellowed about broken bones and being at war for a year with Brock (of course, Brockie and HHH only worked a couple of actual matches during that year long “War”). Paul Heyman and Brock then came out and Paul put those that hadn’t already dozed off into a coma with long-winded chatter about how great Brock is and how Brock was going to destroy HHH. After an eternity of wasted time, Brock fakes a couple of cage entrances. When he finally does get inside the cage, HHH beats him silly. Brock gets a few decent shots in but then bails out. HHH climbs up on top of the cage and urges The Beast to return. Raw fades out as the build up begins for Extreme Rules!

Peace

–Jay Shannon
JesseCShannon@att.net

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