Posted April 30th, 2013 by jshannon

Raw was back in the States, this week. More pieces of the Extreme Rules PPV were put into place. Plus, just who would battle The Shield, this week?

Ricardo Rodriguez vs Big E Langston vs Zeb Colter
Triple Threat Match

The winner of this match would allow their companion (Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler or Jack Swagger) to pick the stipulation for the Triple Threat title match at Extreme Rules. This seemed like such a ridiculous mismatch.

Zeb went out to the apron as the bell rang. Big E set his sights on Ricardo. Rodriguez looked like he was wearing Zubaz sweat pants. Shoulder Tackle and hard Forearm by Big E to Ricardo. Ricardo tried to fight back but it had no effect. Standing Backbreakers by Big E. Zeb cheered Big E on. Big E blasted Ricardo’s ribs. Running Spear, in the corner. Zeb was still on the apron. Big E pitched Ricardo into the corner. Ricardo jumped up and Big E struck the post. Ricardo with a Dropkick. Zeb beat down on Big E. Zeb and Ricardo talked about a union but Ricardo decided to attack Zeb. He didn’t get the chance, as Big E exploded out of the corner. Big E tore into Ricardo. Zeb then beat down on Ricardo. Zeb pushed Big E aside, which ticked off Langston. Zeb suddenly had a knee issue. Alberto Del Rio threw in a bucket, which Ricardo attacked Big E with. Belly to Belly Suplex by Big E. Del Rio, Swagger and Ziggler all got involved in the match. Big E was taken out with a La Bandera Clothesline. A.J. prevented the ref from counting Zeb as the winner. Ricardo rolled up Zeb!

Your Winner: Ricardo Rodriguez
Raw Ranking: 2.0

The announcers talked about John Cena’s injury. He was hurt during the European tour.

The announcers sent it to a video piece about John Cena making an 8-year old’s wish come true. Love him or hate him, John has done so much for the kids. John was brought onto Today to meet the child. Monday was “World Wish Day”. John invited the kid and his family to come to Raw and become a WWE Superstar. 3 kids and Cena came out to meet the crowd. John let Jacob, Nick and Logan pick their own Superstar Names: The Eliminator, Nick the Stich, and Lightning Logan. It was such a cool segment. Cena said the fans could go to wish.org/wwe to be part of making wishes come true.

Randy Orton vs Cody Rhodes

The former Legacy teammates hooked up and Orton with the Side Headlock Takeover. Shoulder Tackle by Orton. Side Headlock by Cody but Orton punched the ribs to escape. Shoulder Tackle by Cody. High Elbow by Orton. The hooked up and Cody worke d the arm into a Keylock. They went to the corner and the break was ordered. Cody with a kick. Orton returned the favor and then flipped Cody over the ropes. Cody Skinned the Cat but Orton with the Dropkick. Orton with another Dropkick. European Uppercut by Ortonand Corner Mount Punches. Orton rocked Cody with another European Uppercut. Orton Stomp (which JBL finally acknowledge was the old Garvin Stomp). Cody exploded on Orton with stomps of his own.

Rhodes punched away and tried for a pin. He only got a two count. Orton with a Suplex. Orton stomped the mustache and then hit the Flying Knee Drop. 2 count. Cody with a Kneelift and Dropkick. 2 count. Cody stomped away at Orton. Cody with a Whip but Orton rebounded with a Clothesline. They both went to the floor and Orton nailed another Clothesline. Backin the ring, Cody blocked the RKO. Raw went to break.

The two were fighting on the floor, as the show returned. Cody nailed the Disaster Kick, which seemed to knock out one of Randy’s teeth. Orton was stunned. Cody picked up Orton and threw him in the ring. 2 count. Cody stomped away and JBL was thrilled at Cody’s enthusiasm. Cody still couldn’t get the pinfall. Rear Chin Lock by Cody. Cody flipped out of the Back Drop Suplex and nailed the Goldustin Uppercut. Cody wasted way too much time, grinning. Kneedrop to the forehead of Orton. 2 count, yet again. Orton fought back with punches and Headbutts. Cody got the boots up. Cody with an Elbow Drop, off the top rope. Still, he only scored a 2.

Cody climbed the ropes but stumbled. Orton tripped him and Cody struck the top turnbuckle. Superplex! 1-2-no. Orton with the Clotheslines and Snap Powerslam. Trapped Leg Suplex by Orton. Rope Assisted DDT. Orton psyched himself up and tried to get the crowd to join him. Cody converted the RKO into CrossRhodes. 1—2—no? Really? Cody couldn’t believe it. Cody screamed at Orton and went for another Disaster Kick. Orton caught him, coming off the ropes, with the RKO!

Your Winner: Randy Orton
Raw Ranking: 3.25

Matt Striker interviewed Randy Orton. Matt wondered if Orton felt haunted by the happenings at Wrestlemania. Orton said the KO Punch, by Big Show, had fueled him and helped him to focus. Cody went for a sneak attack and took a second RKO. Orton was feeling quite Extreme.

Brie Bella vs Naomi

Before the match, WWE ran a preview for the Total Divas reality show. Sigh. Just what the world needed, another boring reality show. Didn’t programmers learn their lesson after torturing us with The Osbournes, Hogan Knows Best and that Gawd-Awful Honey Boo Boo crap?

The two locked up and Brie threw Naomi around, by the hair. Naomi and Brie traded fists and Naomi hit a Thesz Press. Japanese Shoulder Tackle into an Enziguri, by Naomi. Naomi kicked Brie on the ropes. The ref pulled Naomi back and the twins switched. Roll UP by Nikki.

Your Winner: Brie/Nikki Bella
Raw Ranking: 0.25

The ref watched the replay and then reversed the decision. So…

Your Winner (by DQ): Naomi

After the decision, all four women got into it.

Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns entered through the crowd. JBL said only The Shield will be able to stop The Shield. Dean took the microphone. He said they have brought justice to an unjust world. Seth said they have torn down the walls that have been built in the business. Seth said no one has been able to stop them. He sent it to a picture of the Sword of Justice Triple Powerbomb that ended Ryback’s chance to win the WWE title. They also showed picture of Big Show, Sheamus and John Cena also falling to the Sword of Justice. They then brought up doing that to the Undertaker. Dean said they would not bow down to the Undertaker. Roman said “Rest in Peace”. That led to a highlight reel of Dean Ambrose vs Undertaker, from Smackdown. Taker wont he match but got put through the table, after the match, by way of the Sword of Justice. Dean said they did not have mercy. Seth said The Shield has not forgotten about John Cena and Ryback…

3MB strolled out. The announcers were confused why Heath Slater, Jindar Mahal and Drew McIntyre would come out. Heath said The Shield had unfinished business with them. Jindar said they were their to crash The Shield’s party. All Hell broke loose as the six men tore into each other. The Shield took the advantage and just annihilated the upstart band…until Team Hell No showed up. The Shield bailed out as Kane and Daniel Bryan got in the ring. The tag champs just decided to destroy 3MB. The Shield were stunned when Kane hit a brutal Chokeslam. Daniel got he crowd into the “Yes!” chant. The Shield took off for higher ground.

In the locker room, the medic was taping up Cena’s ankle. Cena said he was still good to go. Cena said he was better on one leg than Ryback was on two. “I can’t take that chance” was Ryback’s response. He then walked away.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler pushed Domino’s Pizza. They tracked Jerry’s pizza.

Dolph Ziggler vs Kofi Kingston
Champion vs Champion Match

Congrats to Kofi for becoming a daddy. Kofi and his wife recently brought a little boy into this world of ours.

Raw showed how Kofi beat Antonio Cesaro to become the United States champion. The two men in the ring locked up and Dolph worked over Kofi’s arm. Kofi reversed it. Go Behind by Kofi. Standing Switch into a Side Russian Leg Sweep. Twisting Springboard Splash by Kofi. 1-2-no. Dolph punched away and hit a Side Headlock Takeover. Kofi worked to his feet. Shoulder Tackle by Dolph. Universal into a Back Elbow by Kofi. Dropkick by Kofi. Dolph blocked the SOS but did connect with the Pendulum Kick. Dolph surprised Kofi with a Dropkick, as Kofi went for a Springboard move. Raw went to break.

Dolph pulled back on Kofi’s neck. Kofi started to fight free from Dolph. Corner Clothesline by Dolph. Modified Funk Neckbreaker by Dolph. Dolph missed a Corner Splash. Dolph got up and punched away on Kofi. The two traded punches and kicks. Kofi with a Whip into a Double Chop. Dropkick by Kofi into Controlled Frenzy. Boom Drop! Kofi missed with Trouble in Paradise. Dolph with a Flying DDT. 1-2-not yet.

The two traded blows until Kofi nailed the SOS. 2 count. Kofi picked up Dolph but Dolph went for the Famouser. Kofi dodged it and connected with Trouble in Paradise. A.J. put Dolph’s leg on the ropes to prevent the loss. Dolph ended up on the floor. Kofi took out Big E by flying off the apron. Kofit forced Dolph back into the ring. Kofi went to the top rope and hit Air Kofi. A.J. got on the apron. Kofi took out Big E. Kofi blocked the Dropkick and used the Slingshot to send Dolph into the corner. Kofi missed with the Springboard Crossbody. Zig Zag!

Your Winner: Kofi Kingston
Raw Ranking: 3.75

After the match, Big E laid out Kofi with he Big Ending. Big E picked up Kofi and hit a second Big Ending.

Big E., Dolph and A.J. were walking the hallways. They were praising each other until running into Kaitlyn. The two women traded barbs. Kaitlyn said she would not hold back in the fight against A.J.. Someone came up with a delivery. A.J. thought it was for her but it was a studded hat. Natalya wondered who sent it. It was from a secret admirer. There was no name on the card. It was a darn ugly baseball cap with spikes. Someone has a crush on Kaitlyn.

Raw flashed back, two weeks, to when Brock Lesnar brutalized 3MB. Brock wants to fight Triple H, at Extreme Rules, in an old-fashioned Cage Match. Last week, HHH fooled Paul Heyman. Paul got a text that said HHH wouldn’t be in London. HHH suddenly showed up, accepted the challenge and nailed Paul with a Pedigree.

Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox were talking, in the office. Ryback barged in and said he would not face The Shield on his own. Vickie agreed and said she had decided to team Ryback with Team Hell No to face The Shield. Ryback Rules “Been There, Done That. I don’t trust either of those guys. No!” He then stormed out as Brad tried to figure out what the “No!” meant.

Cole and Lawler checked on the pizza order. The computer said the pizza had been delivered. The good was delivered…to the front row fans. Lawler wasn’t happy. JBL said the soldiers could eat the food but the rest were going to get their heads Clotheslined off.

Jack Swagger vs Zack Ryder

Ryder stirred the pot by showing a replay of Zb being beaten by Ricardo Rodriguez. Zack continued to taunt. Jack exploded on Zack with Kneelifts, in the corner. Short Arm Clothesline by Swagger. Swagger twisted Zack’s outstretched arm. Zack came back with a hard Clothesline. Amateur Slam by Swagger. 2 count. Swagger focused on Zack’s leg and slapped the head. Huge Biel by Swagger into the Swagger-Bomb. Swagger immediately hit a 2nd Swagger-Bomb. On a third Swagger-Bomb, Zack got the boots up. Zack flipped Swagger over the top rope and to the floor. Zack with a Baseball Slide Dropkick. Swagger with the Gut Wrench Powerbomb into the Patriot Lock. Tap out.

Your Winner (by submission): Jack Swagger
Raw Ranking: 2.5

Jack held Zack on the ropes so Zeb could scold the Long Island native. Zeb got a shot in to the face.

Mark Henry had a huge rope over his shoulder. What was up with that?

Ryback left the building.

Mark Henry’s Special Challenge

Mark Henry said he wanted to prove how strong he is. He got permission from Vickie Guerrero for this special event. It was a Tug of War against two different opponents. First, Mark beat Sweet T (aka Tensai). Mark easily pulled the Tattooed Titan across the line. Next up, Mark faced the other half of Tons of Funk, Brodus Clay. The Funkasaurus put up only minimal resistance to the World’s Strongest Man. After that, Sheamus came out and said he wanted to test Mark’s strength. Sheamus did the old Meatballs routine by letting the rope go. After that, Sheamus connected with a Brogue Kick.

Raw Ranking: .25 (What a waste of time)

Cole sent it back to the earlier “Make a Wish” segment.

Team Hell No were in Vickie’s office. Kane ordered Brad to shut up. Kane said it was cool if it was a Handicap Match. Daniel tried to calm Kane down. Vickie ok’d the match and then she told Brad he had to go do something. He had that “Ah Man, I got socks for Christmas” look as Raw went to the commercials.

The Rock’s surgery went well and he has two hit movies running. I can’t wait until Friday to see Iron Man III.

Brad Maddox came in to talk with John Cena. Cena made fun of Brad’s name. Cena wanted to be the partner to Team Hell No in the six man main event. Cena ordered Brad to tell Vickie that he would be fighting.

Alberto Del Rio vs Antonio Cesaro

Justin Roberts mentioned that Ricardo Rodriguez had won the night’s opening match. Ricardo grinned and then went into his Spanish introduction of his friend, Albertooooooooooo Del Rio!

The two locked up and rolled around the ropes. Thankfully, the home audience didn’t have to hear Cesaro’s horrible Yodeling. Cole brought up Slim Whitman. We all know Whitman’s yodels can kill Martians. (I saw the movie). Del Rio opened up on Antonio with punches and kicks. Cesaro blocked a Suplex and hit one of his own. Cesaro stood on Del Rio’s neck. Cesaro yanked Del Rio’s arm in the ropes. Dl Rio came back with a hard kick and Enziguri to the arm. Del Rio twisted on Cesaro’s arm. Cesaro bit Del Rio’s hand. Cesaro slammed Del Rio down and cranked on the arm. Cesaro pulled Del Rio’s tights, showing a serious amount of tushie on national TV. Jawbreaker by Del Rio. European Uppercut by Del Rio. Step Up Hurancanrana by Del Rio. Back Punches into the Back Stabber. Cesaro bailed out of the ring to avoid the Cross Armbreaeker. Raw took another break.

Cesaro had Del Rio in a variation of the Camel Clutch. Del Rio got to his feet and connected with another Jawbreaker. Sunset Flip for two. Cesaro with a Flying Double Stomp. Gut Wrench Suplex by Cesaro. Running European Uppercut by Cesaro. Cesaro punched the face of Del Rio, multiple times. Cesaro dropped all his weight on Del Rio’s back. Del Rio forced his way to his feet. Whip by Cesaro into a Back Drop Suplex. Del Rio fought all the way down. Cesaro was dizzy but still caught Del Rio with multiple European Uppercuts. Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker by Del Rio. Ricardo go the crowd into the “Si” chant. Cesaro blocked the Superkick. Bridging German Suplex, for two, by Del Rio. The “Ole!” chant broke out, yet again. Cesaro flipped Del Rio to the apron. Del Rio went up top but got blasted by a European Uppercut. 1—2—Kick Out.

Cesaro charged the corner but struck the ring post. Superkick ito a 2 count for Del Rio. Cesaro countered the Cross Armbreaker by Del Rio countered back and got the Tap Out victory.

Your Winner (by Submission): Alberto Del Rio
Raw Ranking: 4.0

Alberto decided to make his choice for the stipulation. He wanted a Triple Threat…Ladder Match! That should be awesome.

Fandango vs Great Khali
Dance Off “Match”

The crowd was singing the theme music. Jerry Lawler was in the ring to host this silliness. Khali said he had experience as a dancer. He rambled away and was tough to understand. Khali said he was better than Chris Jericho, as far as being a dancer. Khali just kept spinning Natalya. She had to be so seriously dizzy. I love having segments that let me take short little naps.

Fandango was asked his thoughts on how Jericho did on Dancing with the Stars. Fanny thought Jericho were clumsy. Fandango’s partner now has a name, Summer Raye. Fanny’s dancing was lame, as well. The blonde chick does move, pretty good. Lawler called for the vote.

Your Winner: Great Khali
Raw Ranking: 0.01

After the display, Fandango laid out Khali. Fandango then hopped to the top rope. Fandango with the Guillotine Leg Drop. The announcers disagreed as to who should have won the Dance Off. In my opinion, the winners were those who chose that segment to get a fresh soda and popcorn.

Cole sent it back to Smackdown. Dean Ambrose faced The Undertaker. Taker used the Hell’s Gate to get a submission but the trio then destroyed Taker and sent him through the table with the Sword Of Justice Triple Powerbomb.

John Cena, Kane and Daniel Bryan vs Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns
Six Man Tag Team Match

The match started with all six men in a Mexican Standoff. When The Shield got in the ring, they got blasted by the Faces. Kane against Dean to start. Huge Stall Suplex to rattle Dean to his core. Headbutt by Kane. Dean escaped the Scoop Slam and tagged to Roman. Kane blasted the big Samoan. Whip by Kane into a Back Elbow. Roman rushed Kane into the Shield Corner. Seth tagged in and punched away. Bi Boot by Kane. Kane threw Seth into the corner and punched wildly. Kane wanted to take out the ref, as well. Kane Goozled the ref. Cena made the tag to avoid dealing with a DQ. Dean had tagged in and tried to attack. Cena kicked Dean, which hurt the bad leg. Tag to Deaniel. Daniel with vicious kicks, in the corner. Snap Mare by Daniel into a Knee Strike to the back. Yakuza Kicks, over and over. Tag to Kane.

Kane with an Uppercut. 2 count. Bow and Arrow by Kane. Tag to Daniel. Whip Dropkick by Team Hell No. Daniel with ridiculous numbers of kicks. Daniel with the Flying Surfboard. I have been in that move and it hurts like Hell. Kane with a tag. Dean ducked the Kane Klothesline. Double Suplex on Kane. Seth, who had tagged in, tried for a pin. He didn’t get it. Raw took a final break.

Dean had Daniel in the Bow and Arrow. Daniel fought up and turned under. Dean with a Double Sledge to take down Daniel. Tag to Seth. Seth with a Flying Leg Lariat to Daniel’s chin. Seth and Cena traded trash talk. Seated Abdominal Stretch by Seth. Jumping Enziguri by Seth. 2 count. Tag to Roman. Rear Chin Lock by the Samoan Monster. Cena’s Achilles Tendon is what is injured. Daniel tried to escape but fell victim to a Samoan Drop. Low Bridge sent Roman to the floor. Roman seemed to hurt his wrist. Daniel tagged Kane. Kane exploded on Dean with Corner Clotheslines into the Sidewalk Slam. Kane went to the penthouse and nailed the Kane Klothesline. Kane wanted the Chokeslam but decided to throw Dean to the outside. Kane took apart he announce table. Kane blasted Seth. Dean with a DDT, on the floor. Dena rolled back into the ring as the ref started to count. Kane barely made it back into the ring.

Dean with brutal Knee Strikes to the face. Dean said he beat Undertaker and now he would beat Kane. Chokeslam! Cena and Roman both tagged. Cena went Vintage. Five Knuckle Shuffle. Seth flew off the ropes and Cena wanted the Attitude Adjustment. Cena’s ankle buckled and Roman nailed the Spear.

Your Winners: Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose
Raw Ranking: 3.0

Ryback was on the stage, watching the carnage. He didn’t leave, after all.


–Jay Shannon

Category: Wrestling.

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