WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ THE POST-WRESTLEMANIA EDITION OF RAW

Posted April 8th, 2013 by jshannon

Wrestlemania is in the books. It was a 5-Star show, top to bottom. Two new champs were crowned. Plus, Triple H, Brock Lesnar, Undertaker and C.M. Punk gave the performances of their lives. Now, it time for the Fall Out!

Raw was in New Jersey, tonight. JBL, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole were the announce team. Cole sent it to a photo highlight reel of Wrestlemania. As I told my business partner, Darren, there wasn’t a “Turkey” match on the card. Every single battle was epic. Kudos to the WWE for an excellent event.

The new WWE Champ, John Cena, came out in a new “The Champ is Here” shirt. Cena showed respect by actually wearing the belt to the ring. The Rock Tweeted that he tore his stomach muscles, last night. The crowd was mostly hostile to Cena. The WWE Title Belt now has the “U Can’t C Me” logo where the Brahma Bull had been on the side plates. Cena said it should be a dream to win the Main Event of Wrestlemania. Cena really irritated the Jersey fans. Cena noticed that the fans were beyond angry. Cena was upset, too. The crowd started shouting “Boring!”. Cena talked about Brock Lesnar kicking his *ss, last year, the night after Wrestlemania. Cena started dancing in te ring. This was just dumb. Cena with a Shout Out to Ric Flair. Cena brandished his new title belt. Cena screamed “The Champ is Here!” Cena said this was his post-Wrestlemania celebration. Cena said he was ready to put his newly-won title on the line. Cena didn’t care who he was going to face…

Mark Henry lumbered from the back. Looks like the World’s Strongest Man is next in line.

Mark told Cena “Trouble just found you”. The crowd wanted “Sexual Chocolate”. Cena had fun with the chants. Mark bragged about destroying Ryback, on Sunday. “Feed Me More” chant. Cena played off the crowd’s chants. Cena admitted that he was afraid…to tell Henry that had the breath of a 1000 *sses. Cena accepted Mark Henry’s challenge.

Booker T came out and said to Hold Up. Booker said Cena could not make Championship Matches. Booker said The Rock was due a rematch. Booker said Rock is now the Number One Contender. Booker explained that Rock is injured. Booker said he would give Mark Henry a shot at the title, if he can beat John Cena, later in the night. So, he has to beat Cena to face Cena for the WWE Title. Mark told Cena that he wasn’t laughing. Mark said he was going to put John Cena into the Hall of Pain.

Undertaker will be at Raw, tonight. He went 21-0 after a fantastic battle with C.M. Punk. My respect for Punk’s abilities exploded through the roof after seeing Punk go Old School and stand toe-to-toe with an Immortal.

Big E Langston was about to have his singles debut in the WWE…next.

Daniel Bryan vs Big E. Langston

The Shield sent a Tweet, saying they were going to do something epic, tonight. Dolph Ziggler and A.J. Lee came out with Big E. Langston. Big E used Dolph’s music as his entrance theme. Kane was in Daniel’s corner.

Flying Knee Trembler and a series of kicks by Daniel. Uranage Slam, ala Samoa Joe, by Big E. Shoulder Thrust by Big E. Standing Back Body Drop by Big E. Big E with shots to the ribs. Daniel with a Roll Up into a series of vicious kicks. Daniel rushed up to the top rope. Dolph pulled Daniel off the top rpe. Kane attacked Dolph. Big E threw Daniel out and onto Kane. Big Ending (new name for the Big Finish) by Big E Langston.

Your Winner: Big E. Langston
New and Improved Raw Ranking: 2.5

Michael Cole sent it to Kurt Warner, who was being interviewed by Josh Mathews. Kurt will host The Moment, starting this week. Ordinary individuals will get the chance to chase their dreams.

The Slo-Mo Slam lookeda t Miz win the Intercontinental Championship with the Figure Four, at Wrestlemania.

Wade Barrett vs The Miz
Intercontinental Title Rematch

Wade was in a horrible mood. Wade with a kick and punches. Running Clothesline by Miz. Kick to Wade’s face. 1 count only. Suplex by Miz. Rear Chin Lock by Miz. The crowd was split in their support. Wade with a kick and punches. Miz reversed a Whip. Miz slid under and Rolled Up Wade for two. Corner Mount Punches by Miz. Knee Strike by Miz for another two count. Rear Chin Lock by Miz. Wade with a straight punch to Miz’s face. Elbow Drop by Wade. 2 count. Wade with the Rear Chin Lock. Kneelifts by Wade but Miz flipped out of a Back Drop Suplex. Baseball Slide Dropkick by Miz. Ax Bomber, off the apron, to Wade. The announcers talked rugby. I support the Leeds Rhinos! Funk Neckbreaker, in the ropes, by Wade. The fans appreciated the move. Raw went to break.

Winds of Change by Barrett. 1-2-no. Wade pitched Miz out to the arena floor. Wade with a Cactus Jack Elbow Drop to the floor. He even did the “Bang Bang” salute. Rear Chin Lock by Wade. Miz pushed up and Elbowed into a Back Suplex. The ref counted both men but they got to their feet. Miz punched and kicked. Miz with a Flying Forearm, Mr. Wrestling II Kneelift and the Reality Check but Wade botched the move. The announcers covered for him. Full Body Clothesline. Ax Bomber by Miz. Miz started working over Wade’s leg. DDT by Miz for a two. Wade watned Wasteland but Miz kicked out. Miz countered another huge move into the Figure Four! Wade dragged himself towards the ropes but it was a long way to go. Wade finally made it. Wade with a Big Boot Wade went up to the middle rope. Miz with the Superplex attempt. Miz’s head struck the ring post. Bull Hammer Elbow! New Champ! Really? Really?

Your Winner (and New I-C Champ): Wade Barrett
Raw Ranking: 4.0

Team Brickie talked in the office. Sheamus came in and was hot that Big Show blasted him in the face. Sheamus asked to face The Big Show. Brad Maddox said Sheamus would “owe them”. Vickie okayed the match. Vickie thought it was great.

Remember, USA will run the Hall of Fame Ceremony (well, part of it) Tuesday night. Check your local listings.

Another photo package of Wrestlemania ran. I’ve watched Mania twice and I couldn’t be more impressed.

Randy Orton came up to congratulate Booker T on getting into the Hall of Fame. Orton wanted to battle Big Show, tonight. Booker explained that Vickie already booked the match. Orton told Booker he could overrule Vickie. Booker agreed to the match.

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter came out to talk about how bad the US is, after Wrestlemania. Zeb wanted the fans’ support. Zeb claimed he loved his country, so he volunteered to go to ‘Nam. Zeb decided to stand in the ring with his friend, Jack Swagger. Zeb wanted a “USA” chant.

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter vs Alberto Del Rio
2-on-1 Handicap Match

Ricardo Rodriguez introduced his amigo, Alberto Del Rio. What is it with Yellow Shirts? Del Rio is now wearing one. Cena has his. Punk too. I hate the color Yellow.

JBL praised Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger. Jack and ADR locked up and spun around the ropes. Lawler said Zeb looked like Yosemite Sam. Jack and ADR went to the corner. Jack with hard punches but ADR with some punches of his own. Whip by ADR into a Yakuza Kick. La Bandera Clothesline sent Jack to the floor. Tope Suicida by ADR. ADR pitched Jack back in the ring. ADR went to the very top. Flying Crossbody for a two. Zeb with a Cheap Shot. Jack Clipped the knee and hit a Leg DDT. “USA” chant started. Jack punished the injured leg. Shoulder Thrusts and Knee Strikes by Jack. Zeb pulled on ADR’s face. Snap Mare by Jack into a Step Over Toe Hold. ADR missed the Step Up Enziguri. Standing Switches into the Patriot Lock. Adr tried to flip out but Jack put on the breaker. Cross Armbreaker, in the ropes. Jack launched ADR off the apron and into the barricade. Time for another break.

Back Drop Suplex by Jack. During the break, Jack hit a Chop Block. Zeb shouted encouragement to his buddy. Jack hit the post, shoulder first. Clotheslines. Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker hurt Del Rio’s knee. Zeb looked seriously nervous. Patriot Lock by ADR. Del Rio reached the ropes. Jack went back to the Patriot Lock but Del Rio rolled over and slapped on the Cross Armbreaker. Tap Out. So, Zeb didn’t actually get in the match? That drops the ranking.

Your Winner (by submission): Alberto Del Rio
Raw Ranking: 3.5

Medics checked on Del Rio’s injured ankle. Ok, so I was just a day off with my prediction!

Dolph Ziggler stormed down to the ring. Dolph cashed in the Money in the Bank Briefcase. Corr Armstrong mad eit official.

Dolph Ziggler vs Alberto Del Rio
World Title Match

About darn time. Ziggler attacked the injured leg. Famouser for a two count! Dolph went back to work on the bad ankle. The crowd was loving it. Dolph missed a Corner Splash. Del Rio blasted Dolph. 1-2-no. Del Rio with the Cross Armbreaker! Dolph cranked on the bad ankle to break the hold. Hell of a move. Zig Zag! 1-2-3!

Your Winner (and New World Champion): Dolph Ziggler
Raw Ranking: 3.0

So, I guess that means the only match/finish I totally screwed up was thinking that Taker would lose to Punk, likely be Disqualification. I hate to see Alberto lose, tho.

The infamous Bell Tolled! Undertaker was the first “Face” to get a pop, tonight. I love the new Undertaker jacket. He kind of reminds me of Trigon. Double points for anyone who gets that very obscure reference. The crowd absolutely exploded for the Dead Man. “Under-Taker” chant rang out.

Taker said last night’s match was dedicated to the memory of Paul Bearer. The Shield dared to interrupt him. You have got to be kidding me! Dean, Seth and Roman strolled through the crowd. Taker threw of his jacket and was ready for war. The Shield members started to get I the ring. The posts exploded and Kan and Daniel Bryan rushed to the ring. I was hoping the third man would be Mankind (Mick Foley) not Daniel Bryan. The Shield bailed out and took off.

Well, that went absolutely nowhere.

Raw took another look at Dolph Ziggler winning the World title. Dolph was interviewed by Josh Mathews. Dolph said he knew he needed the right time to cash in. Dolph said this was “his Wrestlemania moment”. Dolph said he was ready to show off his new championship title.

R-Truth, Santino Marella vs Zack Ryder vs Hetah Slater, Drew McIntyre and Jindar Mahal
Six-Man Tag Team Match

Truth and heath to start. Truth blasted Heath and tagged in Santino. Santino danced and got popped in the face. Tag to Zack and Jindar. Face Plant by Zack but Jindar flipped Zack onto the apron. Jindar knocked Zack off the apron. Drew brutalized Zack and came in with a Leg Lariat. Heath tagged back in and stomped away. Measured Punch by Heath and tag to Drew. Drew worked over Zack’s arm. Zantino tried to ramp up the crowd but the crowd blew him off. Zack Floated Over a Suplex into a Funk Neckbreaker.

Tag to Santino and Heath. Santino with a flurry of punches and Hip Toss. Diving Headbutt. Truth took out Jindar. Santino brought out The Cobra but Drew stopped him, or so it seemed. Santino bounced off he ropes and the Cobra struck.

Your Winner: Santino Marella, R-Truth and Zack Ryder
Raw Ranking: 1.5

Cole sent it to a video package about how the WWE took over New York and New Jersey. Social Media played a huge part in Wrestlemania Week. The WWE also helped support the victims of Hurricane Sandy.

Randy Orton and Sheamus argued about who would fight Big Show. Orton wanted to make things right but Sheamus said he would handle it.

Renee Young, last night, asked Big Show what happened. Show felt Orton and Sheamus turned on him.

Sheamus took the stick. Sheamus asked the fans if they wanted to see him kick Big Show’s arse. Sheamus wanted to talk to Vickie Guerrero but he got Randy Orton. Orton still wanted to fight Big Show. Orton asked the crowd if they would prefer to see him kick Big Show’s ginormous backside. It turned into a Raw Active vote. The fans will get to decide.

Orton got the vote 77% to 23%. Vickie and Booker came out to discuss this matter. Booker and Vickie talked it over and they had a fair and impartial settlement. Sheamus vs Randy Orton…Winner Gets Big Show.

Sheamus vs Randy Orton
Special Challenge Match

Collar and Elbow along the ropes. Orton started to go for the cheap shot but held back. Side Headlock by Sheamus. The fans stared the Ole! Chant (someone let O’Cat in the building?). Back Elbow by Orton. Snap Mare into a missed Flying Kneedrop by Orton. Sheamus with his own Kneedrops. Sheamus with a Whip but Orton with a Explosive Clothesline. European Uppercut by Orton. Close Quarters Clothesline by Sheamus. Sheamus worked over Orton’s arm as the Ole! Chants started, again. Orton threw Sheamus down, by the hair. Flying Kneedrop by Orton. Rear Chin Lock by Orton.

Back Drop Side Suplex by Sheamus. Kneedrop by Sheamus. Sheamus with the Rear Chin Lock. Orton with his own Back Drop Side Suplex. I swear they were chanting “RVD”. Orton stomped on Sheamus’ ankle. Senton Roll by Sheamus for two. Sheamus went up top and waited. Dropkick, on the fly, by Orton. Sheamus was laid out. JBL said the fans were as crazy as A.J. as they chanted for Michael Cole! I’m dead serious. Time for another break.

Kitchen Sink by Orton. They stared an “E-C-Dub” chant. Orton choked Sheamus on the ropes. Sheamus kicked at Orton. The two traded fists. Sheamus reversed a Whip. Irish Curse Backbreaker for two. The crowd started doing the Wave. The announcers were loving it. Cletic Hammers by Sheamus. Running Kneelift. Orton fought against the Crossfaces but failed. Crossfaces! Sheamus Suplexed Orton back into the ring. Orton with the Twisted Sister Backbreaker. There was a monster “Randy Savage” chant. Clothesliens by Orton. Snap Powerslam by Orton. Trapped Arm T-Bone Suplex by Orton. Rope Assisted DDT by Orton. Orton went into his Special Place. Sheamus blocked the RKO and nailed White Noise. Sheamus was amazed by the crowd. Sheamus missed the Brogue Kick…

Enter the Big Show! He stormed down to the ring. Show threw Sheamus into the ring post. Show then climbed over the top rope and stalked Orton. “Thank You Big Show” rang out. Why? KO Punch to Orton.

Your Winner: No Contest
Raw Ranking: 4.0

Show pulled Orton to the outside and whipped him into the barricade. Spear by Big Show, to Orton, on the floor. “You’re a Pansy!” was the next chant. The only that followed I can’t type here. Show threw Orton over the announce table. Sow stared at Lawler but backed off. Show threw the announcers chairs around like they were nothing. Show went back to attacking Orton. “One More Chair” echoed off the arena walls as Show left the carnage that he had created. Randy seemed hurt badly.

The WWE Rewind looked at Fandango and his unwillingness to perform if people screwed up his name. Fandango really impressed me at Wrestlemania.

Lawler’s chair was broken. Raw flashed back to Undertaker’s appearance, earlier in the evening. He was interrupted by The Shield. Kane and Daniel Bryan came to Taker’s aid.

Fandango vs Kofi Kingston

The light up structure went off and the announcers were impressed. I like that but the Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass music has got to go. Fandango did some ballet like moves. The crowd actually cheered the prissy Senor Fanny. Collar and Elbow to the corner. Fanny went to the outside. The crowd sang Fandango’s theme music. Whip by Kofi but Fanny slammed Kofi to the mat. Chris Jericho rushed the ring and just beat the snot out of Fandango. Knife Edge Chops. Jericho threw Fandango up and over the top rope. Jericho went after Fanny and sent him sailing into the barrier. Jericho threw things around and hit another Knife Edge Chop. Jericho threw Fandango into the ring steps and gave JBL his Cowboy Hat back. Jericho took Fandango back into the ring and punished the back of Fanny’s head. Knife Edge Chops and a Hammer Throw. Walls of Jericho!

Your Winner (by Disqualification): Fandango
Raw Ranking: .5 (Match), 3.25 (Post-Match)

The officials could not make Jericho break for some time. Fandango got to his feet, only to get Code Breaker’d. Jericho finally decided to leave after crushing the dance sensation.

Michael Cole talked about how popular John Cena is, right now. He went on a major media blitz on Monday.

Josh Mathews talked with Paul Heyman. He got a huge round of cheers. Both of Paul’s men lost, last night. Paul let everyone know that Brock was knocked out in less than 2 minutes but survived another 21 minutes. Brock Lesnar was ready to fight but heyman was holding him back. Heyman wanted C.M. Punk to say how he feels about losing to Taker but it will wait until next week.

Team Rhodes Scholars and Bella Twins vs Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls
8-Person Mixed Tag Team Match

This match got bumped from last night’s Wrestlemania. Sweet T and Brodus Clay look like they raided the closet of an old time gangster.

Naomi with the Rear View. Tag to Cody Rhodes. That brought Naomi into a Hurancanrana. Sweet T with a Rolling Senton to the corner. Sweet T missed the Backsplash Senton but Cody with the Disaster Kick. Double Butt Bump by the Bellas. Elbow of Distain by Damin. Brodus with the tag. He took out both men. Head butt to Damien’s chest. Corner Splash. Trapped Leg T-Bone Suplex. The Bellas tried to pull Brodus off. Sandwich Splash by Tons of Funk. Double Jurassic Splash!

Your Winners: Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls
Raw Ranking: 1.0

It was Dance Time. Heck, even Michael Cole was dancing. It was painful to watch. He made my attempts to dance look good.

John Cena vs Mark Henry
Non-Title Match but if Mark wins, he gets a future title shot

Mark dismissed Cena’s intro antics. Cena cautiously circled Mark. Cena took time to dance. Cena with strong punches. Steam Roller by Mark Henry. “Dance Now!” was Mark’s scream. Headbutt by Mark. Clubbing Blow by Mark. The announcers talked about how tired Cena had to be, thanks to his grueling schedule on Sunday and Monday. Cean with punches and kick. Shoulder Tackle took down Mark. Mark went to the floor. Cena went out to get him. Kick to Mark. Mark slammed Cena’s face into the announce table. Mark dismantled the table. Mark went for a World’s Strongest Slam by John blocked it. Mark adjusted his weight to avoid the Attitude Adjustment. Cena whipped Henry into the ring steps. The ref counted out Mark Henry. Are you serious?

Your Winner (by Count-out): John Cena
Raw Ranking: .5

After the match, Mark planted Cena with a World’s Strongest Slam. Mark snatched the WWE title belt and stood over Cena.

Welcome back, Ryback! Ryback stomped to the ring and the two traded fists. Meat Hook by Ryback into the Spinebuster. Mark Henry rolled out to the floor. Ryback rallied the crowd and then stared at John Cena. Cena was confused. Ryback offered a hand and the crowd got serious loud in a negative way. Ryback and Cena stared each other down. Cena tried to enjoy the crowd but they hated him. Ryback got the “Feed Me More!” chant going. Meat Hook Clothesline! Shell Shocked! Yes! The crowd lost their collective minds. Ryback grabbed the title belt and made it clear he wanted the title!

Peace

–Jay Shannon
JesseCShannon@att.net

Comments

  1. By Ryan, posted

    How could you say wrestlemania was a five star show??? That is ridiculous it might not have been the worst mania ever but it was way up there typical WWE. The card had so many possibilities and they managed to ruin them all! Why should I pay for a PPV when Raw is better??

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