WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ (TNA) IMPACT WRESTLING

Posted January 5th, 2013 by jshannon

It’s 1/3/13. Sting has sworn that he will be back to exact revenge on Aces and Eights. Several others want A&8 Blood…or maybe a mask.

The Recap segment talked about Aces and Eights. Austin Aries out bid Bobby Roode for the services of the group. That led to Aries vs Roode. They attacked the ref and then got taken out by Jeff Hardy. Hulk Hogan has been having major issues with the “relationship” between his daughter, Brooke, and Bully Ray. Sting has promised revenge…tonight.

Happy New Year to one and all. Jeremy Borash was in the ring to announce TNA’s 2012 Wrestler of the Year. He announced the five finalists:

Bully Ray
“Cowboy” James Storm
“A-Double” Austin Aries
“The IT Factor” Bobby Roode
and
“The Charismatic Enigma” (and current World Champion), Jeff Hardy

Austin and Roode were each certain that they had won the prestigious award. When the final announcement was made, neither had won. It was…Jeff Hardy! Jeff shook hands with Ray and Storm and then walked past Roode and Aries. Jeff thanked the fans. Jeff said the trophy meant as much as his World title. Roode called Jeff on his comment. Roode couldn’t believe that Hardy would give a crap about the fans. Roode crowed about setting records and making history as the longest reigning World Champ in the company’s history. Roode said it was a bunch of bull—

Austin Aries cut off Roode. He said he was the longest reigning X-Division title holder and he ended Roode’s reign. He said TNA meant Total Non-Stop Aries. Jeff said he would fight both Aries and Roode, at Genesis, for the World title. Hardy said 2012 was the Year of the Enigma. Aries and Roode double teamed Hardy. Aries went to blast Hardy with the trophy but Jeff moved. Roode took a passing shot. Twist of Fate on Aries. Hardy picked up his bashed trophy and left with it.

The announce team welcomed everyone to the show. Todd ran down the night’s card, including the tag team steel cage match between Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle and two members of Aces and Eights. Tenay mentioned that Hulk Hogan was back. Taz added in that Sting was there, too.

James Storm was asked about not getting Wrestler of the Year. Daniels and Kazarian came up and poked fun at Storm. Storm laughed at their idiocy. Storm told Daniels and Kazarian to figure out which one of them was going to get their *ss kicked. Storm spat in Daniels’ Appletini. Break time.

James Storm vs Kazarian

Both Kaz and Daniels came out. Taz wanted to see Daniels get his backside kicked. Daniels got on the apron but it was a distraction. Kaz stomped on Storm and then choked him with a t-shirt. Kaz with hard Forearm Smashes. Storm Skinned the Cat and then nailed a Thesz Press. Hard punches and a Clothesline. Kaz was pitched out of the ring. Sotrm flew to the outside. Daniels got in the ring to avoid Storm. Kaz attacked Storm, near SoCalVal. Daniels got a cheap shot in, which the ref never saw (of course). Rear Chin Lock by Kaz but Storm punched loose. Kaz threw Storm down by the hair and dropped a leg. Closing Time by Storm but he couldn’t follow up. Storm with punches. Kaz reversed a Whip. Side Russian Legsweep by Storm. Storm sent to the top for a Savage Elbow. 1-2-nope.

Daniels got invovled. Fade To Black by Kaz but only a two. Storm with a second Closing Time. He hit it better, that time. Storm with an Enziguri on Daniels. Kaz flew off the ropes…right into the Last Call Superkick!

Your Winner: “Cowboy” James Storm
Grade: B (84%)

Aces and Eights wanted an answer from Mr. Anderson. Ken wanted to have a good time with the bimbos. DOC got to the point of asking if Ken was “in or out”. Ken said he wanted to make sure none of them showed any fear. He handed DOC a new Ballpeen Hammer. Devon was ready to hear what Sting had to say. Devon couldn’t find “his” bat.

Kenny King talked with Kid Kash, in the hallway. King called Kash an “X-Division Legend”. King, Kash, Christian York and Zema Ion are involved in a tournament to figure out who gets RVD next.

A profile of Sting’s involvement with Aces and Eights was shown. Sting has been away, for awhile, due to injury. It led into a full-on history lesson about Aces and Eights.

DOC came to the ring, solo. He laughed as he stared at his hammer. He taunted Sting to come join him. He sounded like Luther from The Warriors. DOC reminded everyone that Sting said DOC was a “Marked Man”. DOC started doing his Warrior impression, again. I expected to hear “Come out and pla-ay”. DOC was ticked when Sting didn’t show up. DOC continued to scream for Sting, until the baseball bat fell from the rafters and landed in the ring. DOC had a serious meltdown. My wife started laughing at DOC’s bad over-acting. As she put it, “That boy must have 64 teeth to be able to chew lines like that”.

Brooke was asked if she had talked to her dad since she kissed Bully. She hadn’t but figured they would larned what her dad was thinking, live, later.

Kid Kash vs Christian York
X-Division Tournament Round 1 Match

Kash jumped York as Christian got in the ring. The bell rang as Kash with the Knife Edge and an Irish Whip. Discus Forearm and Clothesline by York. High Angle Dropkick by York. Kash pulled York to the outside. Flying Hurancanrana, over the ropes, to the floor, by Kash. Kash raked York’s back. York with a Dropkick as Kash went for a Springboard move. Enziguri by York. Stnading Switch by York. Running Big Boot by York. Half Nelson Back Throw by York. Kneelifts by Kash into a Drop Suplex. Crossfaces aka Taz-Faces by Kash. Kash went to the ropes and went for a Springboard Moonsault, off the top. York got the knees up. Huge kicks by York. Lousy Backspring Elbow but decent Buzzsaw Kick by York. Kash with a hard Strike. Flatliner by York. Small Package by Kash, for two. Backslide by Kash. Mood Swing by York to take the win. I love his version of that move.

Your Winner: Christian York
Grade: A- (92%)

Chavo and Hernandez talked about Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan. Chavo said they weren’t scared of anyone on the roster.

Hernandez vs Matt Morgan

Morgan came out with his arm in a sling. He blamed an injury on training. Morgan told Joey Ryan to take his light work, for him.

Hernandez vs Joey Ryan

Ryan wasn’t really happy about this match. Morgan and Ryan will get a shot at the tag belts, at Genesis. Ryan jumped Hernandez but a Scoop Slam swung the momentum. Backbreaker, over the shoulder, by Hernandez. Morgan slid his arm out of the sling and grabbed Hernandez. Ryan tried to take advantage and got Pounced. Discus Forearm by Morgan. DQ.

Your Winner (by DQ): Hernandez
Grade: C- (70%)

Morgna with the Carbon Footprint on Chavo.

Hulk Hogan walked backstage. He looked very intense.

Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco wanted to help Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe. Joe took offense. Kurt told Joe they were just trying to be helpful Kurt asked his proteges to stay in the back. Kurt said he was going to start taking masks, tonight.

The Knockouts were warming up. Ymmy.

The Brooke Hogan/Bully Ray relationship was the next focus. Papa Hogan has a Hulkamania-level problem with the blooming romance. Hulk caught Brooke and Ray smooching in the parking lot.

Hulk Hogan then came out to address the situation. Hulk wanted to cut through the crap and get down to business. He apologized for not being in the Impact Zone, last week. He was rattled that his daughter and Ray were playing kissy-face. Hulk said it was time to take care of business in the public eye. He asked both Bully Ray and Brooke to join him in the ring. Hulk stood stone-faced in the center of the ring. Hulk brought up the Brotherhood of Wrestling and how certain lines are never to be crossed. Hulk ranted for what seemed like forever. Ray accepted that he was in the wrong for not being straight with Hulk. Hogan then suspended Bully Ray, indefinitely…without pay. He told Ray and then Brooke to get out of his ring. What the Hell?

It was tmie for an update on Joseph Park. Danny Davis said Park showed a ton of heart and couldn’t be run off. Park said he has been studying tons of tapes. Park was starting to find his own potential. Davis said Park caught him off-guard, in a good way. Davis said Park could be a game changer in the business.

Gail Kim and Tara (w/Jesse) vs Mickie James and Miss Tessmacher

Taryn was the ref, of course. Gail jumped Tess, just as the bell rang. Monkey Flip by Tess. Tara blasted Tess in the back. Gail tagged out and Tara kicked away. Tara ran Tess’ face across the top rope. Knife Edge Chop by Tara. Blind Tag by Mickie. Snap Mare by Tess into a Running Knee by Mickie. Mickie with a Dropkick on Gail, who bailed out. Jesse protected the bad girls. Tess and Mickie came out and did a Meeting of the Minds. Tara and Gail with the double team on Mickie. Rear Chin Lock by Tara as Impact took a quick break.

Gail tagged out and they double teamed Mickie. Whip to the corner. Mickie exploded out of the corner. Tag to Miss T. Flying Clotheslines on Tara. Tess rubbed her lady parts in Tara’s face and Taz needed a blood pressure pill. Tess went for the Sweet Face but Tara bailed. In all the confusion, Gail with the Pearl Harbur. Hair Sling by Tara on Texx. Side Backbreaker by Tara for two. Tag to Gail. Kim with rapid fire kicks. She blew a kiss to Mickie to taunt her. Gail with the Fireman’s Carry Gut Buster for two. European Uppercut by Gail. 1-2-no. Whip by Gail but Tess dodged the Drive By. Gail got back in the ring and attacked Tess. Front Drop Slam. Tarawith a Springboard Leg Drop for two. Tara planted the knee in Tess’ back and pulled back on the arms. Standing Moonsault by Tara but she landed on Tess’ knees.

Both women were trying to reach thrier corners. Tara changed gears with a Whip. Flying Face Plant by Tess. Tag to Gail and Mickie. Thesz Press by Mickie into huge punches. Dropkick by Mickie. Head Scissors by Mickie. Funk Neckbreaker by Mickie.Tara made the save. Tess took out Tara as all Hell broke loose. Jesse pulled Tara to the outside. Tess flew off the top and took out Tara and Jesse. Gail missed a second Drive By. MickieDT to plant Gail. 1-2-3!

Your Winners: Miss Tessmacher and Mickie James
Grade: B (84%)

Aces and Eights talked in the clubhouse. DOC said it was BS that Kurt was going to try and take a mask. VP said those with masks should protect them with their lives.

A promo for Bully Ray ran. Interesting, since he was just suspended. It was a lead in to the Genesis PPV.

ODB talked about Sting. She said Eric Young would not be coming back, for awhile. She promised he would be walking back in, eventually, with her at EY’s side.

Todd sent it to a flashback video while the cage was being set up.

Wanted to send my sympathies out to some of my family, back in Texas. We lost a “cousin”, Terry Douglas, a few days back. Like me, Terry has had a heart condition. He had to go into the hospital, right after Christmas, for some follow-up surgery and simply didn’t make it through the procedure. Terry was the second of the four Douglas brothers to pass away in recent years. Terry was so much like his sainted mother, Marian. Terry actually introduced me to Ted Nugent, back during my days in high school. Terry was a good man and I hated hearing that he was gone. Terry’s brother, Roy, was married to my sister, Sherry, for many years, so Terry was a cousin (as my family upbringing classified him). Heaven just got another good one. Hope to see you again, some day, my “cousin”.

Bobby Roode and Austin Aries came int to talk to Hogan. Hogan tried to dismiss them because Hogan was in no mood for their baloney. Hogan told them that not only would there be a Triple Threat match, at Genesis, but it would be an Elimination Match. Hogan said that, next week, Roode and Aries would have to team up to face Jeff Hardy and a mystery partner.

Devon and Masked Guy-1 (Aces and Eights) vs Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe
Steel Cage Tag Team Match

Aces and Eights came out together. Joe then arrived and finally Kurt came out. DOC jumped Kurt as Angle tried to get in the ring. DOC slammed the cage door onto Kurt. DOC chained the door shut. Kurt was down and hurt.

Joe had to go 2-on-1 but held his own against MG-1 and Devon. Joe blasted the masked guy with jaw cracking punches. Devon charged but ended up crashing into MG1. Joe with the Corner Splash and Corner Enziguri. Joe tried to open the door but had to stop and go back to the fight. Devon blocked a Cage Run but a miscommunication between the Aces and Eights members let Devon get laid out. Joe went for a Broski Boot but Devon with a Interceptor Rush. Devon held Joe as MG1 punched away. The rogues changed places, so Devon could punch away.

Joe tried to punch back but Devon choked Joe to the corner. MG1 with a Big Boot. Joe collapsed in the corner. Palm Strike by Joe. Kurt tried to get into the ring but Devon kicked the door into Kurt’s face. Devon and MG1 kept the double teaming going as Impact took their final break.

Joe was still alone but was in control. He was throwing punches, left and right. Joe with a Missile Dropkick on Devon. T-Bone Suplex, by Joe, on MG1. Kurt tried to get back in the ring but DOC grabbed Kurt. Kurt with a kick to the nether regions. Kurt got the key and opened the cage. Kurt exploded on Devon and then MG1. Back Elbow and Missile Dropkick by Kurt. Kurt went after MG1′s mask but DOC distracted Kurt. DOC slammed the cage into Kurt’s face. Angle was busted open. Devon whipped MG1 into Joe, in the corner. Corner Splash by Devon. Sidewalk Slam by MG1. Devon went to the top turnbuckle but missed the Benoit Diving Headbutt.

Kurt with the Hat Trick Germans on Devon. Kurt also had a German for MG1. Joe threw Devon into one side of the cage. Kurt then threw Devon into the opposite side. Joe with an Inverted Atomic Drop and Kick on MG1. AngleSlam on MG1.

Your Winners: Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe
Grade: A- (92%)

Kurt and Joe went after the mask. The various members of Aces and Eights hit the ring. Mr. Anderson stayed on the outside. Kurt was bleeding massively. Sting came out and cleaned house. He beat the bejesus out of everyone in sight, witht he bat and without. The bikers bailed like cockroaches when the lights come on. MG1 was still left in the ring. It ended up a 3-on-1. Joe threw MG1 into Sting’s bat. The crowd screamed for an unmaking. Kurt pulled the hood off and it was the former Mike Knox! He will probably be renamed something like Knuckles or Hard Knoxx.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
JesseCShannon@att.net

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