WHAT HAPPENED, THIS WEEK, @ (TNA) IMPACT WRESTLING

Posted December 7th, 2012 by jshannon

It’s the final stop before Final Resolution. Devon was set to get a shot to get back the TV title (a title that he never lost). Also, Kurt Angle gets his hands on D.O.C.. Let’s get to all the fun and excitement…

During the pre-show promo, Bobby Roode said he was going to show that “Money talks and BS walks”. I was stunned that Spike let him say the entire 8-letter word with the initials B.S. without bleeping him. George Carlin would be so proud.

Kurt found allies with Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco. Al Snow went missing and D’Lo Brown helped Brisco get his contract with TNA. Austin Aries stirred the pot with the Brooke Hogan/Bully Ray relationship. Aries was thrown against RVD. He ran off at the mouth, which brought out Bully Ray. On to tonight…

Bobby Roode came out with Christopher Daniels and Kazarian. It was a bit of a Fourtune reunion. They will be in the main event against Jeff Hardy, James Storm and A.J. Styles. Kaz took the stick and insulted the crowd. He said this was going to be Throwback Thursday. Kaz brought up Fourtune and flashed the hand sign. Kaz said that was all in the past and they only cared about the future…and victory. Roode took over and said he made guarantees that become realities. Roode was certain that he would become the World Champ at Final Resolution. Roode said it pays to be Roode. The crowd was deafening with their “You Suck” chants. Daniels said he would win the Final Match between himself and Styles. Daniels invited Styles to come out for a quick chat.

“Let’s Go A.J.” rang out until Styles’ music went off. Styles slowly walked towards the ring. The crowd chanted A.J.’s name, in unison. Styles said he knew what Daniels had to say. Styles felt Daniels was jealous of him because of A.J.’s success. Styles told Daniels that Chris couldn’t beat him on his best day. Daniels said Styles knew that Chris was right when he has called Styles a loser. Daniels reinforced that Styles is and will continue to be a loser. Styles said Daniels talked too much and he attacked Daniels. It became a 3-on-1 beat down until Storm and Hardy showed up. The bad guys bailed.

Todd brought up Aries’ comments from last week. He was about to win the X-title when he took the house mic and made scandalous comments about Brooke Hogan. Bully Ray rushed the ring. Hulk Hogan took exception to Bully getting involved. Fast forward to this week and Aries said he had the plan to push Hogan’s buttons. Aries said he had the plan to win the X-title to get back to the World title. Aries challenged Bully Ray for Final Resolution. Aries said he would continue to push Hulk’s buttons if he didn’t get what he wanted.

Samoa Joe was about ready to go to war with Devon over the TV title.

The hottest Christmas ad on the planet ran. Happy Christmas Time

Samoa Joe vs Devon
TV Title Match

Devon came out with a black baseball bat. Taz wondered if other members of Aces and Eights were nearby. Joe got a monster pop when he entered the arena. Joe is the second Grand Slam Champ. The bell rang and the two locked up. They went to the corner and broke clean. The went back to the corner and Devon with a cheap shot. Joe answered with vicious punches. Devon went to the eyes. Running Back Elbow into the Jumping Enziguri by Joe. Clothesline and kicks by Joe. This was the first one-on-one between these two men. Kneedrop by Joe. Low Bridge by Devon. Devon ran Joe’s head into the steel steps. 1-2-kick out, once they got back in the ring.

Joe with more punches but the Amazing Grace Back Elbow put Joe down for a two. Corner Splash and Diving Splash by Devon for two. Devon missed the Flying Headbutt. The two traded punches, with Joe getting the upper hand. Inverted Atomic Drop and Big Boot by Joe. Backsplash Senton by Joe for two. Devon ducked a Corner Splash but the Uranage planted Devon. Joe slapped on the Kokina Clutch. Some girl came out and jumped on the apron. D.O.C. got on the apron and cracked Joe in the head with the hammer. The ref didn’t see anything, except the sexy girl and the pin.

Your Winner (and New TV Champ): Devon
Grade: B (85%)

The blonde and a bunch of her girlfriends partied with Devon. In the back, Brooke Hogan was talking about signing a new girl. Kong? Cheerleader Melissa? The Bellas?

Final Resolution is this Sunday. I will be with you, all evening, to bring you all the results and surprises.

D’Lo talked with Al Snow. Snow said he got off the plane on Wednesday and then ended up in a hospital and woke up on Friday, without his wallet. Weird.

Mickie James came out in a nice little short dress. I know my “brother”, Rick, just smiled as wide as the Grand Canyon. He adores her. Mickie said she really couldn’t say how good it felt to be back “Welcome Back!” rang out. Mickie sent love to her friends and family. Mickie said she made a pact to become the new Knockout Champion, on Sunday…

Tara and Jesse came out and mocked Mickie. Mickie said the fans were booing Tara out of the building. Tara bragged about her great year. She got rid of Miss Tessmacher. She gained Jesse. Plus, she won the Knockout title.

Velvet Sky made her return to TNA! Rick just hit the floor. Let the Pigeons Loose! Taz was about to have a seizure. I guess we know who Brooke was talking to. “Welcome Back!” rang out, yet again. Velvet wished both Tara and Mickie the best for Sunday. Velvet said she would be taking back the Knockout title in 2013.

In the back, Robbie E was trying to pay his car insurance on an IPad. Robbie T came in and helped him pay the bill. They headed to the ring as a creepy promo ran for something evil coming to TNA on 1/3/13. The return of Abyss? The return of Judas “El” Mesias? Somone new and wicked?

Robbie E and Robbie T vs Chavo Guerrero Jr and Hernandez
Non-title match

R-E and Chavo to start. Go Behind ainto a Snap Mare by Chavo. Back Drop Suplex by Chavo. Tag to Hernandez. Bear Hug on R-E into a Overhead Toss. Tag to Chavo. R-E with a Kneelift. Chavo and R-E went back and forth. R-T took the tag and blasted Chavo. Scoop Slam by R-T. Tag to R-E. Sidewalk Slam by R-T. Forearm Shot by R-E. Rear Chin Lock by R-E. Chavo got to his feet but R-E pounded away. Chavo with a Suplex as R-E posed. Hernandez with the tag and Slingshot Spear. Hammer-like Blows into a Back Body Drop. Shoulder Backbreaker. R-T rushed in and attacked. Chavo with a Dropkick. La Bandera by Hernandez. Hernandez launched R-E into the ropes. Pounce by Hernandez. Frog Splash by Chavo, after the tag. 1-2-3.

Your Winners: Chavo Guerrero, Jr. and Hernandez
Grade: B (84%)

Joey Ryan came out and taunted the tag champs. Matt Morgan slid in the ring, from the other side, and hit Dual Clotheslines to the back of the champs’ heads. Ryan cut a semi-sleazy promo.

In the back, the Aces nad Eights girls danced. Devon had a beer. The cheesy blonde wanted to play. DOC didn’t look in a party mood. Devon said things would get taken care of. Devon wanted to throw a dart but the VP said “Money talks” and they didn’t need to pick a new victim.

Impact looked back at D’Lo giving Wes Brisco the TNA Contract by giving the second “Yes” vote. In the back, Kurt Angle talked with Wes and Garrett. Wes swore he was in Kurt’s corner. Garrett Bischoff also said thanks to Kurt for supporting him. Both men said they had Kut’s back.

Elsewhere, Chavoa nd Hernandez said Joey and Matt got their attention. Chavo said they were going to knock them down and step on their faces.

Kurt Angle vs DOC

The former Luke Gallows slowly strolled towards the ring. Kurt jumped DOC, just as he got in the ring. Kurt stomped on DOC and went after DOC’s left leg. Kurt then punched the bald skull of DOC. Locked Leg Kneedrop by Kurt. Chop Block by Kurt. Clothesline by DOC. DOC kicked away at Kurt and shook out his sore leg. Kurt started punching back and went for a Whip. Kurt put on the brakes. La Bandera Clothesline by DOC. Uppercut, on the floor, by DOC. DOC whipped Kurt into the steps.

Back in the ring, ODC clubbed the back of Kurt. Missile Dropkick by Kurt. Both men were down. Hat Trick Germans by Kurt. DOC got out of the AngleSlam and nailed a Big Boot for a 2. DOC kicked out of the AngleLock. Kurt went back to the German Suplexes. DOC held the ropes to block the final one. Low Blow Back Kick by DOC. Running Clothesline for two by DOC. Kurt rolled through a Chokeslam to cinch in the Angle Lock. DOC rolled over to send Kurt through. Chokeslam by DOC. 1-2-no way. Back Elbow by Kurt into the AngleSlam. Kurt dropped the straps and clamped on the AngleLock. A member of Aces and Eights hit the ring and blasted him. Devon came out to call the shots. Samoa Joe rushed past Wes and Garrett to protect Kurt.

Your Winner (by DQ): Kurt Angle
Grade: B (84%)

Kurt said he had a pack of his own now. Kurt issued a challenge to any four members of Aces and Eights at Final Resolustion. Kurt, Joe, Wes and Garrett would face them. Interesting.

Hulk Hogan was on the phone with Joseph Park. He told Park to call OVW and if he made it through training, he would bring him to TNA. Bully Ray came into Hogan’s office. He complained that Hogan gave Aries to RVD. Bully demanded a match against Austin Aries. Hogan chuckled. Hogan said the wrestling universe didn’t revolve around Bully Ray. Hogan refused to let him fight Aries. Bully said the answer would be yes by the end of the night. Ray said he was taking over the show. Hogan said Ray needed a Midol.

James Storm talked with Jeff Hardy. Storm promised that he would have Hardy’s back. Storm said Hardy needed to watch out for Bobby Roode. Hardy, through an inner voice, said he really couldn’t trust anyone. That is just bizarre.

Kenny King vs Kid Kash vs Zema Ion
Number One Contender Match for the X-Title

Kash opened up on both opponents with punches and kicks. Ion with a wicked Dropkick. King joined Ion for a Double Dropkick. King with a surprise Rollup. Standing Switch by Ion. Back Elbows by King and Ion. Leg Lariat by King. Kash pulled Ion out of the ring. King went to attack Kash and laid Kash out with an Enziguri. King was in the ring, alone. King came off the ropes and got Clotheslined by Ion, who had jumped in the ring. Kash slid in and jumped Ion from behind. Crossvfaces by Kash on Ion. He called them Tazfaces. Scoop Slam by King on Kash. Springboard Legdrop by King onto Kash. Ion jumped King and ran him into the corner. Shoulder Thrusts by Ion onto King.

Whip by Ion but King got the boot up. King with a modified Gory Special. Kash broke up a pin. Kash with a Knife Edge Chop and kick on King. Kash with a Hurancanrana, to the floor, to lay out Ion. King flew off the top turnbuckle to the floor. Ion and Kash were both laid out. Ion with a Flip Dive to the outside. I love the X-Division. Ion rolled King back into the ring. Ion went to the top turnbuckle but King tripped him. Wild variation of the Tower of Doom. Kash with a Boston Crab on King. “This is Awesome!” rang out. Ion ran Kash into the corner. King with a kick to Ion’s head. Kash with a Chop on King. Rolling Hurancanrana to send King to the outside. Springboard Clothesline by Kash to get a two on Ion. Kash went to the corner. Ion shoved him off the ropes. Top Rope Spear by King. Royal Flush by Kenny King!

Your Winner: Kenny King
Grade A (96%)

Bully Ray was on the phone. He said he was P-O’d. Ray said he was going to the ring to get what he wants. He didn’t care.

Impact looked at Austin Aries’ taunting of Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan. Hulk Hogan wondered what was going on between Bully Ray and Brooke. Bully Ray stormed to the ring with a chair in his hand. Ray threw the chair up over the top rope. He asked for the microphone and said to cut the music. Ray set up the chair and said he wasn’t going anywhere until he got what he wanted. Ray said he wanted to fight Aries and Aries wanted to fight Ray. Plus, the fans wanted to see the two men beat the snot out of each other. Ray took a seat and waited to get what he wanted.

Austin Aries then strolled out with his own chair. Aries said he wasn’t a sucker. He really didn’t believe Ray wanted another fight. The last fight led to Ray being dropped on his head and forced to tap out. Ray dared Aries to get in the ring and fight him. Aries said he would sit at a comfortable distance and continue to berate Ray. Aries said he was going to take over…

Hulk Hogan came out and Aries moved his chair, at warp speed. Hogan was limping, badly. Hogan got in the ring with Ray.Hogan wanted the music stopped. Hogan said it was time to fix all the TNA business, right now. Hogan said he would not make a match between Aries and Ray. He refused to let either one of them push him around. Hogan told Ray to get out of the ring or he would fire Ray’s *ss or kick it. Aries tried to stir the pot and get them to fight. Brooke Hogan bounced down to the ring to stop the insanity. Brooke stood between the two of them. Brooke slipped and called Bully “Mark” (his real name). Hogan noticed it, as well. Hogan changed his mind and made the match between Ray and Austin. Hogan said Ray, Austin and Brooke made this personal.

Taz, Tenay and Todd ran down the updated Final Resolution card. A promotional piece of the Roode/Hardy fight then ran.

Bobby Roode, Christopher Daniels and Kazarian vs Jeff Hardy, James Storm and A.J. Styles
Six-Man Tag Team Match

Kaz and Daniels came out in Zubaz pants. I used to have a couple of pairs of those, back in the days. One was in Philadelphia Eagles colors and the other was in Minnesota Vikings colors. They finally wore out after years of comfy wear. The faces came out, in unison. Jeremy Borash did the offical intros.

Kaz and Storm started the match. The two locked up and went to the corner. Clean break. Kaz with a shove. Storm laid him out with a push. Storm popped Daniels and then punched awayon Kaz. Corner Splash and Flying Forearm by Storm. Tag to Hardy. Styles was distracted. Kaz pushed Hardy into the enemy corner. Tag to Daniels. Hardy with a Flying Headscissors and a Spinning Mule Kick. Tag to Styles. Daniels made tracks and tagged Kaz. Styles went off on Kaz with a Headscissors and a punch. Knife Edge Chop by Styles. Tag to Hardy. Styles with a Corner Splash. Poetry in Motion with Hardy and Styles. Hardy with a 2 count. Hardy ran Kaz into the corner and began Corner Punches. Impact went to break.

Hardy was trapped in a Rear Chin Lock. During the break, Roode pulled Hardy out of the ring and sent him into the barricade. Kaz with a Front Face Lock. Daniels distracted the ref to make sure Earl Hebner didn’t see the tag. Daniels with a tag and then Kaz tagged back in. Kaz whipped Hardy into Daniels. High Impact Stomp, off the ropes. 1-2-no. Roode with the tag. He stomped Hardy. Roode with measured shots to Hardy’s face. Snap Suplex by Roode but Storm made the save. Tag to Daniels. Daniels stomped Hardy and then sent Hardy, chest first, into the corner. Kneelifts by Daniels. Back Heel Trip by Daniels. Daniels stood on Hardy’s hair. Tag to Kaz. Hart Attack by Bad Influences. Roode with an Elbow Smash. Daniels with hard clubbing blows. Earl, of course, saw nothing. Kaz stood on Hardy’s neck. Roode ran Hardy’s back into the ring apron. Kaz brought Hardy back in and then tagged out to Roode. Roode rode the back of Hardy and slapped on a Rear Chin Lock. Hardy fought to his feet and pounced the ribs. Back Elbow by Roode.

Roode stomped on Hardy’s stomch. Daniels with a grinding Front Face Lock. Hardy got to the corner and Shouldered Daniels. Daniels pulled on Hardy’s pants to keep Hardy from getting to his corner. Tag to Roode. Punch to the ribs by Roode. Roode went to the ropes but ended up getting nailed with a Twist of Fate. Both men were down and stunned. Tag to Kaz. Tag to Styles. Styles laid out both Daniels and Kaz. Hammerlock Back Drop Suplex by Styles. Storm with Lung Blower on Daniels. La Bandera Clothesline. Storm was sent into the steps. Roode and Kaz with a Double Whip on Styles. Styles with a boot and Elbow. Slop Drop/DDT combgo on Kaz and Roode. Daniels made the save. Styles with a whip to Daniels. Daniels hit the ropes and Styles landed on the top ropes. Styles and Storm had a little communication problem. Hardy made the tag and hit the Twist of Fate on Kazarian. Storm and Styles continued to argue.

Your Winners: James Storm, A.J. Styles and Jeff Hardy
Grade: A (94%)

After the match, Aces and Eights hit the ring and destroyed Hardy. It was 6-on-1. Devon, DOC and four others just annihilated the World Champ. James Storm rushed back in with a chair. Bobby Roode grinned like crazy at the carnage that he paid for.

I want to finish the column with a special Birthday wish to my wife, Dianna. Her birthday is on Saturday. She helped me rebuild my world, 3 years ago. Happy Birthday, hon. I love you.

Peace

–Jay Shannon
JesseCShannon@att.net

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