It was a tag team fest for the fans on Monday night. Plus, a Legend wanted to know if C.M. Punk would face John Cena in Hell in a Cell. All that plus a heart-touching interview with Jerry “The King” Lawler.
Albany, New York was the home for this week’s episode. C.M. Punk and Paul Heyman were in the ring. Punk was seated, looking very moody. Heyman praised his associate. Heyman said they were there to halt the show, until justice was served. Heyman showed footage of the bad call, at the end of last week’s main event. Heyman even demanded that it be shown in slow motion. Heyman said the video proved it..a grand injustice. Heyman summoned last week’s ref, Brad Maddox. Heyman ordered Brad to apologize to Punk, admit his mistake and tender his resignation. The zebra took his time coming from the back. The kid looked like he could be Garrett Bischoff’s brother. Brad slowly walked down tot he ring and joined the WWE Champ and his mouthpiece.
Brad admitted that he made a mistake in his first main event match. He felt terrible about his error. Heyman lambasted Brad and told the kid to resign. I sweat that kid’s a Bischoff, just from the grin. Brad did apologize but he would not resign. Punk went off on the guy. Punk questioned how the kid could consider himself a man. Heyman said Brad wasn’t a real ref. Heyman brought out a mask with an NFL sleep mask. It was a shot at the replacement refs in the football league. Punk then went off on A.J. Lee for not having a brain. Bad move, skippy.
Speaking of skipping, Lee made her way down to confront the WWE Champ. Lee told Brad that he could go to the back. Heyman just knew the GM was out there to reverse last week’s decision. Lee got the Ass-u-me schtick that Benny Hill used to do in. Lee asked Heyman and Punk who the Hell they thought they were. Punk said he was the reason that A.J. was the reason she had the job she does.
Punk knew that the reason Lee had so much hostility for him was when he turned down her marriage proposal, a couple months back. Punk looked ready to rip Punk’s face off. Punk said that little episode was the reason for all the stuff that she has done. Punk said he was ready to forget all the stuff that Lee has done, if she would reverse the decision from last week. Punk told A.J. to share just how intimate they were. Punk said there wa another reason why he’s knows as the “Best in the World”. Heyman stepped in and said “I got this”. Heyman dropped to one knee and popped the question to A.J. Lee. Say what? He promised her the wildest fantasies of power. He said they would be bigger than Brad and Angelina, Bill and Hillary and even HHH and Steph. Heyman said he would come up with the ideas and she could take credit. Heyman said he liked them young, dmb and uninhibited. She thought about it…and smacked him right in the face. Yeah! She stormed to the back as Punk checked on Paul E’s sore cheek. Jim Ross, sitting in for Jerry Lawler, called Heyman a “Slime Ball”.
Brad, the ref, talked with A.J.. He apologized to A.J.. She accepted it and said that if he ever made such a mistake, again, she would make sure he nvever worked in the industry, again. She whined that he made her look like an idiot. Lee just stared off into the ozone. She is just mongo-weird.
Michael Cole and JR were interrupted by the arrival of Vickie Guerrero. She squeaked out an introduction of “Mr. Money in the Bank”, Dolph Ziggler. He came out with his blue briefcase.
Dolph Ziggler vs Kofi Kingston
Dolph and Kofi have been having a Twitter War, over hte past week or so. R-Truth and Little Jimmy (invisible) joined the announce team. Truth had soda and popcorn for Jimmy. Vickie and Dolph came over to hassle Truth. Vickie got a face full of soda. She shrieked at Truth and Kofi. The ref got his fill and tossed out Truth and Vickie. I guess Little Jimmy went back to the back, as well.
Enough of that silliness. Kofi kicked on Dolph and nailed a European Uppercut and Dropkick. La Bandera Clothesline by Kofi. Flip Dive by Kofi to send Dolph onto his back. Break time.
Kofi and Dolph exchanged fists. Kofi reversed an Irish Whip but missed a Corner Splash. Inverted Exploder Suplex, by Dolph, for a two. Rear Chin Lock by Dolph. Criss Angel was the Social Media Ambassador, this week. He’s a weird guy but I like his style. Dolph with the Neckbreaker for a two. Dolph gyrated and then took fists tot he ribs and jaw. Standing Dropkick by Dolph. 1-2-no. Dolph with a Grapevined Rear Chin Lock. It was almost a Kokina Clutch. Kofi stomped on Dolph’s foot and then the two traded fists. Dolph missed a Corner Splash. Kofi tried to catch his breath but he got into a battle of fists with Dolph. Dropkick by Kofi into the Boom Drop. Dolph blocked Trouble in Paradise and SOS. Pendulum Kick connected. Springboard Clothesline by Kofi for a two. Springboard off the ropes into a Crossbody got him a two.
Dolph kicked hte knee and hit the Famouser. 2 count only. Kofi blocked the Zig Zag and nailed the SOS. How he didn’t get a three is beyond me. Kofi caunght Dolph by the legs. High Crossbody, by Kofi, off the ropes, for a two. Kofi wanted to finish things. He missed the Trouble in Paradise. Dolph tossed Kofi into the corner and connected with the Zig Zag.
Your Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Grade: A (95%)
John Cena visited Dr. James Andrews. He’s the guy who fused Kurt Angle’s neck. Cena’s elbow was a bone chip mess. Cena was at the arena to discuss his future.
Michael Cole started talking about Anger Management, as it relates to Daniel Bryan and Kane. Raw looked back at all the chaos on Smackdown. Daniel distracted Kane, which got Damien Sandow the win. Later in the night, Kane returned the favor in Daniel’s match against Cody Rhodes. Dr.Shelby decided to try something new, for therapy. Doc said they were one small step away from a breakthrough. Doc set up a role playing exercise to show how the tag champs could peacefully co-exist. Kane came up as a waiter. Daniel chuckled. Doc renamed Kane “Gerald”, the waiter. Kane said there was a new cook. Kane said he dunked the cook in the deep fryer. Kane said he sprinkled the beard of the former cook all over everyone’s food. AN old lady looked ready to hurl. Tonight, the fans would get to name the team of Bryan and Kane. Team-Didn’t Kerry Von Erich and Michael Hayes-Do this in the 80s?
The Prime Time Players (Darren Young and Titus O’Nail) vs Santino Marella and Zack Ryder
Glad to see the WWE finally expand the tag division. Darren vs Zack to start. They went to the ropes and Darren shoved Zack. Zack slapped Darren and hit a Flapjack. Zack ran Darren into the corner. Zack Crossbodies the ropes, by accident. Rear Chin Lock by Darren. Zack flipped out and tagged Santino. Gut Wrench Suplex by Santino into the Diving Headbutt. Zack rushed him but got sent into the post. Blind Tag by Darren. Santino went for the Cobra but Titus with the Sky High Powerbomb for the three.
Your Winner: Titus O’Neil and Darren Young
Grade: B- (82%)
Raw talked about supporting the Susan G. Komen For the Cure. It’s all about Breast Cancer. My mother, grandmother, aunt and several cousins have all dealt with cancer. My mom had a double mastectomy. My father also died from lung cancer. This charity does so much good work for people. A few years back, my first wife, Linda (who was a cancer survivor), and I did a Susan G. Komen Walk for the Cure Marathon. I can’t push the charity strongly enough. Watching this horrible disease ravage your loved ones is one of the worst experiences that anyone can face. Please show your support. Komen.org/WWE has details on how to help.
Mick Foley arrived to one massive pop from his fellow New Yorkers. Huge “Fo-ley” chant. Foley said he there as a card carrying member of the WWE Universe. Foley said, a year ago, C.M. Punk inspired and moved him. Foley now questions how much of a change Punk has really done. He started talking about Punk’s blind following of Paul Heyman…
C.M. Punk came back out to face the Hardcore Legend. Punk told Foley not to come out and try to grandstand. Punk said Foley was no longer relevant. Punk figured Foley was there to push a new kid’s book. Foley said Punk made him relevant, all over again. Punk acknowledged a text that he got from Mick. Mick congratulated Punk on his WWE title win and Punk said it meant a lot to hear that from someone like Mick. Mick said he was deeply disturbed by Punk’s recent actions and alliance with Paul Heyman. Punk took a moment to criticize the fans. Punk said Foley had no idea what he was talking about. Foley said he didn’t become someone until he stopped listening to Heyman and make decisions on his own. Punk said everyone was trying to steer him away from Heyman. Foley said people say that Paul “would rather climb a tree to tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth”. Foley hadn’t seen that, personally. He just wanted to know why Punk needed a mouthpiece and why he continued to “drink the Kool-aid”.
Punk was ready to be done but Foley wasn’t. Foley then wanted to talk about Hell in a Cell. He took it back to 1998. The match made him a Legend. I recently watched the match, again, and it was incredible. Foley earned a lot of respect because of that match. Foley said Hell in a Cell brought respect to anyone who shined in it: Shawn Michaels, Triple H, the Undertaker. (Edge should be in there, as well). Punk was (sarcastically) impressed with the speech. Foley wanted to see Punk go inside Hell in a Cell with John Cena. Punk asked the fans if that is what they wanted. They did. Punk mocked Cena’s recent comments. Punk said Cena couldn’t beat him. Punk then brought up Bret Hart. Punk said he wasn’t like Bret or Mick. Punk said Bret nailed him in Bret’s home town. (not quite. Montreal was where it happened. Calgary is Bret’s home). Punk said he wouldn’t lower himself to attack Foley. Punk said he didn’t need to do a thing for the fans. Punk ridiculed Foley’s Hardcore style. Punk just wanted to bring the fans to their knees, with his words. He wouldn’t risk his body for the fans. Punk bragged about holding the belt for 309 days. Foley countered that he only held the WWE title for 29 days, in total. Foley asked Punk if he wanted to be a Legend or a statistic. Foley was there to offer Punk the chance to face John Cena in Hell in a Cell. A.J. Lee said that Punk would make the final decision, right to John Cena’s face. Foley said Punk needed to make the right decision for himself, for Foley and for the fans. “Have a Nice Day!” Foley then left the ringside area.
Raw looked back at the destruction of MizTV, by Ryback. Ruback will face The Miz, next.
I want to take time to send a special Get Well Wish out to my friend, Riddick Bowe. Riddick has been training for his in-ring debut, in Poland, on November 3rd. Unfortunately, he was injured on Monday morning. The latest from his doctors is a torn rotator cuff n his shoulder. The show, in Lodz, Poland, is going to be temporarily postponed until “Big Daddy” heals. Come on, Champ, I’ve seen your determination. Get well and let’s see if you can reach your goal of holding a wrestling championship.
Raw pushed it’s new show, Main Event, which starts on ION (on Wednesdays), next week. Thank the stars, something other than reruns of Criminal Minds.
The Miz vs Ryback
Raw looked back at the first episode of MizTV. Booker T was the original guest but Book brought out Ryback, who destroyed the set.
Back to this week, the Human Wrecking Ball from Sin City emerged to make life Hell for Miz. JR was asked about his thoughts on Ryback. JR said no one had unlocked Ryback’s failure combination. Miz went to the corner and took a shot. Miz with kicks and punches but Ryback laid him out with a shot to the jaw. Shoulder Thrusts into a monster Biel. Back Elbow by Miz. Miz tired to get out of the Running Powerbomb but Ryback took it back. Ryback slammed Miz’s head into the mat. Miz went to the floor. A chase led to Miz sending Ryback intot he barrier. Ryback pitched Miz back into the ring. Running Boots and the Seated DDT by Miz for a two. Ryback blocked a kick into a nasty Spinebuster Bomb. Meathook Clothesline by Ryback as the ref and a security guard nailed a goof that got in the ring. Shellshock by Ryback. He should have done that to the idiot that got in the ring. Don’t do that stupid crap. My ex-son-in-law got ejected from an event and almost decapitated by a very angry 350 pounder for pulling a stupid stunt like that.
Your Winner: Ryback
Grade: B+ (87%)
Dr. Shelby was back for another round of therapy for Daniel Bryan and Kane. Kane felt that he and Daniel could never be friends. Daniel brought up destroying eight guys on Smackdown. It was a flashback to When Harry Met Sally. The old woman was…MAE YOUNG!
A.J. Lee talked with her refs. She focused on Brad. She said there would be mistakes. Alberto Del Rio and David Otunga walked in with Ricardo Rodriguez. Del Rio thought he was getting a title shot. Instead, the three men were put together in a six man tag vs Sheamus, Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio. Ricardo got really excited about getting to wrestle.
Wade Barrett vs Tyson Kidd
Kidd with a Dropkick and hard kicks. He took down Wade with a Dropkick to the knee. Wade with a Back Kick on Tyson. Clothesline by Wade. Wade kicked Tyson through the ropes. Wade went tot he floor and ran Tyson into the apron. He then got back in the ring. Tyson with a shoulder into a Reverse Sunset Flip. Black Hole Slam by Barrett. Wade with his wicked elbow that he now calls The Souvenir.
Your Winner: Wade Barrett
Grade: B (84%)
Michael Cole was in the ring to interview Jerry Lawler, via satellite. Lawler was at home, in Memphis. Lawler got an incredible ovation from the fans. Everyone was on their feet for The King. He was visibly moved by the show of love. Cole thought Lawler looked great. Lawler had a raspy voice from the breathing tube that he had to use while in the hospital. Lawler said the last thing he really remembered, that night, was the Bret Hart segment that opened the show. He didn’t remember a thing about his match with Randy Orton. Lawler still thought he was in Aruba, when he woke up. Lawler was surprised by the sheer number of positive well wishes that he has received. Lawler thanked everyone for all they have sent and said. Cole then wanted to know when Lawler would return to his spot at the announce table. Lawler said it would all be up to the doctors. He got a jab in at Cole by saying how could anyone spend three hours, each and every week, next to Cole and not have a heart attack. Lawler said he would be back at the first possible opportunity. Lawler’s music rang out an the Hall of Famer smiled. Not a single fan sat down during the interview. We love ya, King.
David Otunga, Ricardo Rodriguez and Alberto Del Rio vs Sheamus, Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio
Six Man Tag Team Match
Alberto came out in a 1950 Rolls. Such a sweet ride. Raw took a quick break.
Rey and Sin really should coordinate their outfits, color wise. That would be kind of cool to see. Rey was in all blue, while Sin was in Mystico white and gold. Michael Cole mentioned that the World title was now 10 years old. Trivia Note: Triple H was the first recognized World Champion (current incarnation) when he was “given” the title by Eric Bischoff.
The match was already going. Sheamus Threw Otunga over the ropes and started to go for the Crossfaces. Del Rio and Ricardo pulled him down. Sheamus flew with a Shoulder Block. Sin Cara and Rey did the same. Sheamus pitched Otunga back int he ring and hit a Running Knee. Tag to Sin Cara. Sin with various kicks. Shoulder Block by Otunga. Tag to Rodriguez. He ate boots from Sni. Mexican Arm Drag. Cheap shot (kick) by ADR. Ricardo with a tackle and kick. ADR took the tag and hit a Suplex. Dos Caras Jr vs Mystico. Dream match. Cole talked about Rey’s father. I hate to correct (ok, no I don’t) but Rey Mysterio, Sr. was actually Rey’s uncle, not his dad.
ADR with a jumping Stomp to Sin’s neck. Neck Wrench. Ricardo begged for the tag and got it. He punched Sin and tried to remove the mask. Tilt-a-Whirl Arm Drag off the kick to the face. Rey and ADR got the tags. Rey with the Tilt-a-Whirl Headscissors and a Dropkick to the patella. ADR shoved Rey into the corner. Drop Toe Hold by Rey. Rope Climb Enziguri by ADR. The Prime Time Players were watching, in the back. Otunga with the tag and a powerful Scoop Slam. Ricardo wanted back in. Why? Ricardo with a shot ot Rey’s ribs and went for a pin. Only got a one. Tag to Otunga. Otunga with stompes and he threw Rey into the corner. Another Rising Enziguri by ADR, after a tag. ADR set his knee in Rey’s spine and pulled back on the head. Rey worked up to his feet but a Headbutt stunned him. Rey rolled through a Roll Up and Dropkicked ADR in the face.
Tags to Sheamus and Otunga. Running Corner Thrusts and nailed a Million Dollar Kneelift. Otunga ducked the Brogue Kick and tagged Ricardo as he rushed by. Sheamus Hip Tossed Ricardo over the ropes. Ricardo tried to escape but got caught in the ropes. Crossfaces into the 619. ADR tried to attack Rey but got Head Scissored into the barricade. Tag to SIn Cara, who came off the ropes with a Springboard Swnton to seal the deal.
Your Winners: Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio and Sheamus
Grade: B+ (89%)
After the match, Rey and Sic urged Sheamus to take out Otunga with a Brogue Kick. He obliged.
It was time for another vignette with Dr. Shelby, Kane and Daniel Bryan. This time it was Identity Therapy time. Kane had to take a bite of salad. Bryan had to wolf down a bite of meat. Kane ate a piece of lettuce, while Daniel bit into a meatball. Kane was cool with it and burped, really loudly. Daniel, on the other hand, hurled up the food. Great, and I was eating dinner.
Michael Cole said it was time to name the tag champs. The choices were: Team Teamwork, Team HellNo or Team Friendship. Team Hell No? Dude Love and Stone Cold Steve Austin? I’m just saying…
Daniel Bryan came out, alone. Kane then arrived. Michael Cole announced the team’s name. The winner, such as it was, was: Team HellNo with 59%. Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow ambushed the tag champs. At the top of the ramp, Cody introduced his new team…Team Rhodes Scholars. Sandow said the tag champs now had a legit reason to be angry.
Raw looked back at Paul Heyman’s proposal to A.J. in the opening segment. Some writer definitely did not earn their bonus pay with that silly segment. Raw also looked at Mick Foley’s rant on Punk.
Layla and Alicia Fox vs Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres
The tag division heats up and the Divas division cools to the level of a Red Dwarf Star. (Spending a little too much time on the Science Channel, I think). Layla with a Spin Kick on Beth. Roll Up for a two. Tag to Fox. Dropkick by Fox after Layla hit a Faceplant. Rollup for two by Fox. Powersam by Beth. Beth choked Fox with her boot. Blanchard Slingshot Suplex. Eve took the tag and knocked Layla off the apron. Eve of Destruction Twisting Neckbreaker for the win.
Your Winners: Eve Tores and Beth Phoenix
Grade: C- (70%)
Kaitlyn came out and said she had the security footage of her attacker’s hair. She was a blonde. Eve accused Beth of being the attacker. The two women argued. Beth proclaimed her innocence. Eve laid out Beth with the Eve of Destruction. Eve sure tried to play the good friend. I gotta think a blonde wig was part of this stupid storyline.
John Cena talked, in the back.
Brodus Clay and the Funkadactyls daned in the ring.
Brodus Clay vs Tensai
Talk about Battle of the Bulls. The two locked up and went tot he ropes. Scott Armstrong caleld for the break. Thrusts and Headbutts by Tensai. Brodus with his own Headbutt and Corner Splash. Trapped Leg Throw by Brodus. He missed the Jurassic Splash and Tensai missed the Senton. Out of nowhere, Big Show returned to Monday nights. Show with the WMD on Tensai. Brodus was confused. He charged Show and got knocked out,a s well.
Your Winner: No Contest
John Cena came out with his arm in a sling. He really got a negative reaction from the crowd. He saluted and slowly walked to the ring. Cena just didn’t seem to be his same fire, tonight. He let the crowd boo him. Cena understood that there was mixed emotions about him being there. Cena wasn’t supposed to be there. Cena said he was there to say thank you to the fans for supporting Susan G Komen. The Komen people are amazed at the support. Cena said the WWE Universe are a powerful force. Cena also waned to thank the fans, both positive and negative ones, for the reactions. Huge “Cena” chant. Cena was also there to apologize to Chad Patton and Brad Maddox for having to deal with C.M. Punk. Cena said Punk grossly mis-quoted him. Cena said the match at Night of Champions would define Punk and it did. Cena cut loose with a hilarious rant that sounded like something that Disney would do to an R-Rated movie’s language. Cena wanted to make a guarantee. Cena said he would walk into Hell in a Cell as a fighter.
C.M. Punk cut off Cena’s rant. Paul Heyman brought up the rear, carrying the WWE title belt. Punk teased a kid in the crowd, who wanted to touch Punk’s hand. The crowd jeered at the WWE champ. Heyman made a wide circle around Cena. Punk admired Cena’s speech. He compared it to a political speech and felt John should run for President. Punk couldn’t believe that John would call into question his credibility. Punk said he was only one C.M. Punk, the same one who has beaten Cena, over and over. Punk noticed that Cena was a one-armed man. Cena told Punk to shut up and face him at Hell in a Cell. Punk said he wasn’t going to accept that title challenge. Punk said it wasn’t fair for Cena to keep getting chances. The crowd chanted with a “C.M. Sucks” chant. Cena told the crowd to shut up. Like that has EVER worked. Punk said Cena would not be medically cleared to compete by Hell in a Cell. Punk said Cena was stupid for facing him with his arm in a sling. Punk told Cena to run.Punk talked about how bad he was going to beat Cena. Punk said he commands respect. Punk gave Cena a five count to get out of the ring. He then turned his bac on Cena and began to count down. Cena brought out…a lead pipe. When he turned around, Cena blasted him in the ribs with the pipe and yelled “Real Men Wear Pink”. Cena said “Now, that’s what I call a Pipe Bomb”. Cena clutched his ribs as he stumbled up the ramp. Punk rushed to the back as Cena greeted his fans, Michael Cole and JR. Cena gave his pink hat to a kid.
In the back, Punk passed Mick Foley. He stopped and went back. He attacked the Hardcore Legend and left him laid out. He started to leave but turned back to face…Ryback! Oh My!